How do you deal with being called too skinny?

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  • hill8570
    hill8570 Posts: 1,466 Member
    edited February 2015
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    You're not going to change the attitude of the people of the people around you. However, you can change how you react to that attitude. C'mon -- it's not like they're beating you with crowbars; they're just being well-intentioned busybodies. The world is crawling with such individuals, you gotta learn to how to filter out the bad advice from the good.
  • kathleennf
    kathleennf Posts: 606 Member
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    I get that a lot. You are right, it is kind of frustrating. I tell them some combination of the following things:
    1> My weight is normal. Sometimes I add to that the comment that so many people now are overweight that overweight seems normal, but it's not.
    2> I tell them that I feel well and I am strong and healthy.
    3> I tell them that my doctor thinks my weight is perfect. (That's true BTW.) Sometimes I add to that, gee, I have a normal blood pressure and my cholesterol is fine. HAHAHAHA.
  • junestarrr
    junestarrr Posts: 52 Member
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    I had this problem when I was a skinny teen working as a cashier at a supermarket. I ate like a pig, had a high metabolism, but was always really slim. For whatever reason, probably just from being stressed, I passed out 2 times at my register. I heard that these older, elderly cashiers were calling me anorexic behind my back. I was pretty upset about it, but I went on living my life. They were just ignorant hags, imo.
  • Uncle_Barry
    Uncle_Barry Posts: 1 Member
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    If your doctor is telling you you're too skinny, listen. Anyone else, screw 'em!
  • WeaTheRgrlx0x
    WeaTheRgrlx0x Posts: 48 Member
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    My doctor says I'm perfect, my endocrinologist is happy with my thyroid levels, I had my thyroid totally removed a little over three years ago. I'm fine. Thanks to everyone for listening to me vent and for the advice.
  • irretrievable_
    irretrievable_ Posts: 9
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    I get told this too. I deal with it by pretending to listen to them, but really thinking about other things while they talk. Or changing the subject. For some family members I just say "Thanks!" and flip them off, but that is my family... ;)

    Please don't let yourself get attached too strongly to their opinions. The truth is, your family is talking from a culture and viewpoint you don't share. It's not relevant to you, and you shouldn't let their beliefs hurt your relationship one way or another. But don't let it harm you. If you find yourself in tears, you are taking their words too much to heart. They are your family, yes, but they should love you even if they think you're too skinny. Because they criticise your weight does not mean they are trying to hurt you. Again, their values are just coming from a different place than yours.

    Changing the subject strategy might work for you. It will take a little work and practice to get good at it, because it should be subtle, so they dont' realise you've started talking about something else. Try asking them questions about things you know they like to talk about (besides weight). This way, you might deflect the conversation before it even has a chance to begin.
  • JayRuby84
    JayRuby84 Posts: 557 Member
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    It's along the same lines as my girlfriend saying "Just don't lose your butt!" and "You're not going to become a muscle head, are you?" I let her know that it doesn't make me feel good. Then last night she let me know that she was really impressed by the work I've done with my body. That actually made me feel good.
  • WeaTheRgrlx0x
    WeaTheRgrlx0x Posts: 48 Member
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    Great idea irretrievable, thanks. JayRuby84, that was sweet, and it must have felt good to be supported.
  • FatFreeFrolicking
    FatFreeFrolicking Posts: 4,252 Member
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    Tell them, "I'd rather be skinny than fat."

    This shouldn't bother you, by the way. As long as YOU are happy with your body, that's all that matters. Your opinion of your body is the only one that matters.
  • irretrievable_
    irretrievable_ Posts: 9
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    JayRuby84 makes a good point. Sometimes just letting people know their words make you sad or are hurtful can make them reevaluate how they talk with you.
  • daw0518
    daw0518 Posts: 459 Member
    edited February 2015
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    I had an aunt ask me if I lost weight over the holidays, & then she proceeded to tell me to "be careful and not lose too much weight or you might start to look sick". I've only lost 20 of the like 80 pounds I want [& need] to ultimately lose, and I'm still in the 'obese' category of BMI. I was just like "yeah, don't worry, I know what I'm doing."
  • xmusicloverr
    xmusicloverr Posts: 100 Member
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    My mom and so many relatives tell me the same thing. My collarbones are super prominent now, but I'm not even in a healthy bmi yet. I usually say something along the lines of "haha nice try, you're gonna trick me into developing hypertension"
  • WeaTheRgrlx0x
    WeaTheRgrlx0x Posts: 48 Member
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    She doesn't have a problem calling me skinny, but would never call her niece on my uncle's side overweight. Thanks daw, keep on trucking:) I've gotten where I want and need to be, and I'm thankful for everyone's help. It'll help to look back on the responses and know that I'm right and It's okay.
  • ebr250
    ebr250 Posts: 199 Member
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    I would ignore them and change the subject.
  • WeaTheRgrlx0x
    WeaTheRgrlx0x Posts: 48 Member
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    I know xmusicloverr, my grandmother takes medications for bp, to lower blood sugar, cholesterol, my father takes bp and sugar meds. I don't want to end up like that. I already went through Grave's disease, I don't need to add more autoimmune diseases into the mix.
  • pita7317
    pita7317 Posts: 1,437 Member
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    Same situation here with ONE friend. ( who is thinner than I at her height). She gets almost angry about it. I just don't get it. I have tried telling her what others have mentioned, at perfect weight for my height, etc. Does not help. I have decided if she ever brings up the subject again I am just going to tell her I am done with the discussion and if she would like to continue she will be talking to herself because I will get up and walk away or hang up. I don't need a friend ? Who cuts me down or is basically telling me I look terrible (too skinny) after over a year + of 100% effort to get to my goal weight .
    I know you are dealing with family which is different but I know your frustration with this.
    How can you get compliments from at least a dozen other people including my husband and then deal with her being the one and only negative one ? Ridiculous and uncalled for.
    I am proud of what I have accomplished. End of story.
    Good luck to you on dealing with your family.
  • sofaking6
    sofaking6 Posts: 4,589 Member
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    WeaTheRgrlx0x wrote: »
    Hello, my name is Parthena and I come from a big fat Greek family. My grandmother and my aunt tell me I'm too skinny even though I'm perfect for my height. I gained weight after having my thyroid totally removed for Grave's disease and having finally gotten down to where I need to be. How do you deal with it? I eat enough, I love to walk, which they tell me not to do. I just can't deal with it anymore. What do you do?

    I hug and kiss them and ask them to say it again, and again, and again. Then I tell them I'm not eating again until I lose 40 pounds because I love it SO MUCH when they tell me how skinny I am.
  • WeaTheRgrlx0x
    WeaTheRgrlx0x Posts: 48 Member
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    haha:)
  • pita7317
    pita7317 Posts: 1,437 Member
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    Sofaking6. Love it ! Lol lol
  • cocmares
    cocmares Posts: 27 Member
    edited February 2015
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    Codilee87 wrote: »
    When I was told that I would just challenge them to an arm wrestle and win, then tell them that they were too skinny lol
    Lol love this!

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