50 Shades of Grey
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FIFTY SHADES OF GREY BY PAM AYRES
The missus bought a Paperback,
down Shepton Mallet way,
I had a look inside her bag;...
T'was "Fifty Shades of Grey".
Well I just left her to it,
And at ten I went to bed.
An hour later she appeared;
The sight filled me with dread.
In her left hand she held a rope;
And in her right a whip!
She threw them down upon the floor,
And then began to strip.
Well fifty years or so ago;
I might have had a peek;
But Mabel hasn't weathered well;
She's eighty four next week!!
Watching Mabel bump and grind;
Could not have been much grimmer.
And things then went from bad to worse;
She toppled off her Zimmer!
She struggled back upon her feet;
A couple minutes later;
She put her teeth back in and said
"I am a dominator!!"
Now if you knew our Mabel,
You'd see just why I spluttered,
I'd spent two months in traction
For the last complaint I'd uttered.
She stood there nude and naked
Bent forward just a bit
I went to hold her, sensual like
and stood on her left tit!
Mabel screamed, her teeth shot out;
My God what had I done!
She moaned and groaned then shouted out:
"Step on the other one!!"
Well readers, I can tell no more;
Of what occurred that day.
Suffice to say my jet black hair,
Turned fifty shades of grey!!0 -
I rather chew my own face off.0
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mechancete wrote: »Personally, the rough stuff stops at the bedroom door. But for some people that like this kind of play, the dom controlling some habits/clothing of the sub is foreplay. Consider it the dom sending flowers.
That being said, the books were horribly written. I couldn't get past the first one and even that was difficult. I've been suckered into going to the movie so I'm hoping it isn't completely awful.
when has the quality of the movie version ever eclipsed the quality of the book?
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mechancete wrote: »Personally, the rough stuff stops at the bedroom door. But for some people that like this kind of play, the dom controlling some habits/clothing of the sub is foreplay. Consider it the dom sending flowers.
That being said, the books were horribly written. I couldn't get past the first one and even that was difficult. I've been suckered into going to the movie so I'm hoping it isn't completely awful.
yep. I won't be seeing the movie and I haven't read the books.
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There is a giant screen, attractive actors doing very interesting..um..dialogue, a great soundtrack, and popcorn. What's not to love?0
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I think it's sad some women think this is a hot story. It's laughable at best, I mean she calls her stuff " sex " yea that's like a ridiculous teenager girl just finding her parts.
Much better stories out there0 -
Haven't read the books but I've always been bemused that so-call "Mommy Porn" has a BDSM theme. What about the zillions of more "vanilla" romances read by people in this country? They don't count but a kinky book does?
I think I would be embarrassed to see this movie in public and I'm not a prude.0 -
callsitlikeiseeit wrote: »All you ladies go and learn how to get pulled around by your hair and smacked when your man wants something. Assaulting your woman has never been more mainstream.
BDSM has NOTHING to do with abuse and both parties fully ENJOY it, and safety measures (ie a safety word or action) are in place to stop the activities immediately if someone has had enough.
Why even mention BDSM? 50 Shades isn't remotely an accurate portrayal of real BDSM. It's an abusive relationship.
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callsitlikeiseeit wrote: »All you ladies go and learn how to get pulled around by your hair and smacked when your man wants something. Assaulting your woman has never been more mainstream.
BDSM has NOTHING to do with abuse and both parties fully ENJOY it, and safety measures (ie a safety word or action) are in place to stop the activities immediately if someone has had enough.
You're absolutely right, and that's why a lot of people hate the books! The 'activities' therein are nothing like a respectful, safe BDSM relationship, and in a way they further the stereotype of S&M being a seedy, violent, uncoordinated shambles where anyone can do anything they like regardless of their play partner's feelings (I know a couple of people who live the BDSM lifestyle and they were disgusted by a lot of the content of the first book, that which they didn't find laughable for the absurdity.) From what I gather, Christian abuses his power, crosses boundaries, does things that he hasn't asked permission for, and ignores her protests or questions, which should be a no-no to anyone who remotely respects their lover. Christian is basically an arrogant, selfish, cruel bar-steward.0 -
I refuse to read it. But I have read lists as such : http://theramblingcurl.blogspot.com/2014/02/fifty-abusive-moments-in-fifty-shades.html
detailing excerpts from the books themselves... It's too close to home. My first relationship was fraught with instances like the ones provided and the fact that this is so mainstream saddens me greatly because it just means that there are that many more people who begin to justify the actions of the abuser. It's an insult to the men out there who are actually swoon worthy for such a man as Christian Grey to be glorified for his actions of abuse.
I will never read these books, never see the movie, and never understand why so many are so taken by this so-called "romance".0 -
Women who see this and suddenly think they're into BDSM is why safe words were invented.0
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I tried to read the books but it was sooo boring. Why would I pay $15 to watch that horrible book come to life?0
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I'll be seeing this with 3 friends of mine. We all read the books, enjoyed them for what they were... fictional stories that have no bearing on our lives or who we are. We will enjoy a girls night out without our husbands!0
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@michellemybelll heard the same thing as well0
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What naughty woman hasn't asked for and gotten a spanking? Who would feel it's their prerogative to judge what consenting adults do behind closed doors...down in their sub-basements.. with thrash metal playing to muffle the sounds of screams???0
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was that too much???0
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RavenLibra wrote: »What naughty woman hasn't asked for and gotten a spanking? Who would feel it's their prerogative to judge what consenting adults do behind closed doors...down in their sub-basements.. with thrash metal playing to muffle the sounds of screams???
kidding
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"The only reason why Christian Grey is a catch is because he is rich and cute. If Ugly Bob asked if he could tie you up, you'd call the police not move into his trailer."
I saw that that somewhere and laughed so hard.0 -
romanticizing an abusive relationship no thank you
i would much prefer to go see the new spongebob movie0 -
callsitlikeiseeit wrote: »All you ladies go and learn how to get pulled around by your hair and smacked when your man wants something. Assaulting your woman has never been more mainstream.
BDSM has NOTHING to do with abuse and both parties fully ENJOY it, and safety measures (ie a safety word or action) are in place to stop the activities immediately if someone has had enough.
And the BDSM community has said that these books are in no way an accurate portrayal of their lifestyle.
These books are about sexual violence and domestic abuse. I'll pass.0 -
In the first book when she's reading that stupid contract, I kept finding myself thinking "dont do it dont do it dont it, DAMN she's actually considering it. -_-"0
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this is a rehash of that book 9 1/2 weeks that came out decades ago and they also did a movie on it...just an old topic with a new twist...do not go to movies rent them will not rent this one...yawn...when i was younger and single and wanted to engage in merry making , wine,sky-clad , beer, i will go to the Renaissance festival or Medieval Reenactment Wars0
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I haven't read all the books, just the first one. And while I found a different trilogy on the same subject matter A LOT better (can't think of the series name, it'll come to me), I think it'll be fun to go see this movie with a bunch of girlfriends for a girls' night out. Start out with appetizers and cocktails at a restaurant near by and then go see the movie.0
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My only objection to all the 'fangirls' freaking out about this movie is the fact that I know quite a few of them on my social media who HATE, repeat HATE, when their husbands/significant other watches the VS runway show or they get jealous if the man intently watches sex scenes of movies.
Otherwise, sure I'll watch the movie. I thought the books were crap and wanted more of a storyline but uh... yeah, those type of books don't have complex, deep, meaningful character building so I don't know what I was expecting. Definitely a guilty pleasure read which I will watch the movie as a rental.0 -
uhhhh... haha I am super excited to see it ..
Guess that makes me a bad person lol 0 -
TrainingToBePerfect wrote: »uhhhh... haha I am super excited to see it .. Guess that makes me a bad person lol
Waiting for a male to respond with, "You've been a bad girl..." *whip*
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Fittykitty11 wrote: »My only objection to all the 'fangirls' freaking out about this movie is the fact that I know quite a few of them on my social media who HATE, repeat HATE, when their husbands/significant other watches the VS runway show or they get jealous if the man intently watches sex scenes of movies.
OMG YEAH. I dated a guy whose ex wouldn't let him watch the Avengers because she just knew he wanted to watch it just because of Black Widow. Not because ya know, he's a guy and love comic books, but just because of the boobies. She was also cheating on him with multiple guys. I guess that's okay in her book.
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JeriAnne84 wrote: »Fittykitty11 wrote: »My only objection to all the 'fangirls' freaking out about this movie is the fact that I know quite a few of them on my social media who HATE, repeat HATE, when their husbands/significant other watches the VS runway show or they get jealous if the man intently watches sex scenes of movies.
OMG YEAH. I dated a guy whose ex wouldn't let him watch the Avengers because she just knew he wanted to watch it just because of Black Widow. Not because ya know, he's a guy and love comic books, but just because of the boobies. She was also cheating on him with multiple guys. I guess that's okay in her book.
As if there isn't eyecandy in that movie for us ladies to enjoy.......
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