Online Dating

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  • tchell99
    tchell99 Posts: 434 Member
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    Belle8312 wrote: »
    tchell99 wrote: »
    Belle8312 wrote: »
    I had a guy message me last night that said he is in an open relationship (he is married). He said that they both knew what they wanted when they first started dating and that they got married and they both still see other people, she is more into women than men. He said he is looking for a lover and that I am very attractive and am what he is looking for.

    REALLY DUDE?!?!?!? I mean, I am naïve sometimes...but REALLY???

    There are a lot of polyamorous couples on OKC where I live. I have been messaged numerous times by men and women wanting me to join their situation. No judgement, really, but many of these couples also have kids and full-time jobs. Where in the world do they find the time for these kinds of relationships? I would like to meet up with them just to get tips on time management.

    LOL about the time management! You know, that is a really good point. I didn't think about it. I guess open relationships are a lot more common that I thought they were, because this isn't the first time I have been messaged either, this is just the first time I replied.....more out of curiosity than interest.

    I guess for me, it would be weird "dating" someone knowing he was happily married at home with kids. I do know a few people that thing that's the best of both worlds because it's basically NSA FWB and it's not cheating? Right? I don't know.

    On the surface it can look like a great set-up, but I think in practice few couples can really pull it off. It only works if all people involved are extremely secure and have exceptional communication skills.

  • krinx83
    krinx83 Posts: 9 Member
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    Girl...let's see where should I start...dated a guy for 3-4 months who swore he was divorced and he was in fact married and still living with his wife...umm couple of psychopaths and another lying married guy...a control freak...couple others who wanted me to save them from their marriages and support them financially...I've now given up on online dating.

    id say i have had about thhe same experiences, throw in an abusive man and a few stalkers... done with online dating!
  • stephaniels0416
    stephaniels0416 Posts: 38 Member
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    I've also had someone message me that was in a relationship and he and his girlfriend were looking for someone to join them in a threesome. Wouldn't it be easier to pick up a drunk chick in a bar? Realistically, how much success are you going to have with sober people that, even if they did agree initially, wouldn't back out before the date arrived after they'd had time to think about it?
  • stephaniels0416
    stephaniels0416 Posts: 38 Member
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    Belle8312 wrote: »
    I have one that happened last week. He was from POF and we'd been talking for about a month. I had had a crappy day and told him that I had decided drinking was a good plan for the night and he somehow ended up coming over. He drank my Captain Morgan Black while complaining he didn't like rum (there was plenty of other stuff to choose from, including beer), let himself out back to "water" my tree, and ended up sleeping on my couch because he's had a DWI in the past and didn't want another one. Then he had the nerve to tell me I didn't make a very good first impression. Apparently I was no fun because I did not also get shitfaced and jump him.

    Wow, that's a winner right there!

    I know right? Near the beginning of the evening he told me his ex-fiancee left him over stopping for a six pack on the way home from work. At the time I thought it was a stupid reason to call off a wedding and dump a guy you'd been with for a couple of years, but after watching him get trashed, and then admit to a DWI, I got it.
  • Belle8312
    Belle8312 Posts: 2,151 Member
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    So anyone have any online dating Valentine's Day horror stories? Considering how much I despise this holiday, I think it would be funny to hear some. :smiley:
  • klkarlen
    klkarlen Posts: 4,366 Member
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    I have not read all the posts on this thread, but it reminds me why I have not signed up on any of the online dating sites. Heck, I got this InMail from someone on LinkedIn this week, and I'm in the process of dealing with the LinkedIn folks to report it.

    "What a cute smile you have on here ( on a nice profile ) you look resplendent in such a way that intrigues everyone that views your profile. I was actually browsing through the list of my connections when I came across yours, pulsed and couldn't resist to say hi having seen such unique beauty.
    I sincerely apologize for writing such personal message to you as I understand that this Professional Networking site prohibits it but just like I said, I couldn't resist to say hi.
    Please are you married?
    I would love to know more about you. "


    Then when I questioned our one mutual connection (which was the only reason I accepted his connection request in the first place), she told me she got the same email, and asked me how to unconnect, report and block this loser.
  • Belle8312
    Belle8312 Posts: 2,151 Member
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    klkarlen wrote: »
    I have not read all the posts on this thread, but it reminds me why I have not signed up on any of the online dating sites. Heck, I got this InMail from someone on LinkedIn this week, and I'm in the process of dealing with the LinkedIn folks to report it.

    "What a cute smile you have on here ( on a nice profile ) you look resplendent in such a way that intrigues everyone that views your profile. I was actually browsing through the list of my connections when I came across yours, pulsed and couldn't resist to say hi having seen such unique beauty.
    I sincerely apologize for writing such personal message to you as I understand that this Professional Networking site prohibits it but just like I said, I couldn't resist to say hi.
    Please are you married?
    I would love to know more about you. "


    Then when I questioned our one mutual connection (which was the only reason I accepted his connection request in the first place), she told me she got the same email, and asked me how to unconnect, report and block this loser.

    WOW! On LinkedIn. Didn't expect that, but then again, I guess it doesn't surprise me too much.
  • WednesdayJanuary07th2015
    edited February 2015
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    tchell99 wrote: »
    Belle8312 wrote: »
    I had a guy message me last night that said he is in an open relationship (he is married). He said that they both knew what they wanted when they first started dating and that they got married and they both still see other people, she is more into women than men. He said he is looking for a lover and that I am very attractive and am what he is looking for.

    REALLY DUDE?!?!?!? I mean, I am naïve sometimes...but REALLY???

    There are a lot of polyamorous couples on OKC where I live. I have been messaged numerous times by men and women wanting me to join their situation. No judgement, really, but many of these couples also have kids and full-time jobs. Where in the world do they find the time for these kinds of relationships? I would like to meet up with them just to get tips on time management.

    Most likely they are neglecting their children. I've known of people, whom wanted children for status only. Flo from Problem Child, comes to mind. When they are buying their child something & have to ask the Nanny, what their own child's favorite color is; there's your clue!
  • Sinistrous
    Sinistrous Posts: 5,589 Member
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    Belle8312 wrote: »
    So I messaged a guy earlier today on match and just said hi and stuff like that. His response "Thanks for messaging me, but I can't date someone who is a Celtics fan. Hope you understand" I am a Celtics fan, and proud of it...but I'm not hating on him because he's a Lakers fan! So I responded "That's okay, but I can't date a guy who has no intelligence whatsoever. I hope you understand, and good luck on your search."

    Too mean? :smiley:

    Not mean enough. That was nice, compared to the shz platter I would have made him eat.
  • Belle8312
    Belle8312 Posts: 2,151 Member
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    Sinistrous wrote: »
    Belle8312 wrote: »
    So I messaged a guy earlier today on match and just said hi and stuff like that. His response "Thanks for messaging me, but I can't date someone who is a Celtics fan. Hope you understand" I am a Celtics fan, and proud of it...but I'm not hating on him because he's a Lakers fan! So I responded "That's okay, but I can't date a guy who has no intelligence whatsoever. I hope you understand, and good luck on your search."

    Too mean? :smiley:

    Not mean enough. That was nice, compared to the shz platter I would have made him eat.

    LOL! Should have asked you yesterday for a better reply. :smiley:
  • Sinistrous
    Sinistrous Posts: 5,589 Member
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    Belle8312 wrote: »

    LOL! Should have asked you yesterday for a better reply. :smiley:

    That guy seriously has mental problems. It could have been an even funner party and as a couple, whoever loses has to take the "shame" in a friendly couple's fight, with perhaps some "favors" that were placed in a bet between the two beforehand. Bah. Closed minded ppl..

    Some people shouldn't reproduce lol. Poor children, if he has them..
    I'll just stop right there and go back to my rabbit hole.
  • strozman
    strozman Posts: 2,622 Member
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    I have one that happened last week. He was from POF and we'd been talking for about a month. I had had a crappy day and told him that I had decided drinking was a good plan for the night and he somehow ended up coming over. He drank my Captain Morgan Black while complaining he didn't like rum (there was plenty of other stuff to choose from, including beer), let himself out back to "water" my tree, and ended up sleeping on my couch because he's had a DWI in the past and didn't want another one. Then he had the nerve to tell me I didn't make a very good first impression. Apparently I was no fun because I did not also get shitfaced and jump him.

    LMAO! Great date. Clearly you should marry that guy, don't let him slip through your fingers
  • Belle8312
    Belle8312 Posts: 2,151 Member
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    Sinistrous wrote: »
    Belle8312 wrote: »

    LOL! Should have asked you yesterday for a better reply. :smiley:

    That guy seriously has mental problems. It could have been an even funner party and as a couple, whoever loses has to take the "shame" in a friendly couple's fight, with perhaps some "favors" that were placed in a bet between the two beforehand. Bah. Closed minded ppl..

    Some people shouldn't reproduce lol. Poor children, if he has them..
    I'll just stop right there and go back to my rabbit hole.



    LOL! Love it!!!
  • klkarlen
    klkarlen Posts: 4,366 Member
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    Belle8312 wrote: »

    WOW! On LinkedIn. Didn't expect that, but then again, I guess it doesn't surprise me too much.

    Yeah, and within an hour of my accepting the connect request.

    I won't even get into details on the one (and thankfully only) Facebook stalker that I had to deal with, also a "friend of a friend" situation, and he was stalking a bunch of us. Two thumbs up for the blocking feature on that site. That one started out seemingly normal, albeit a bit needy, and hit the Twilight Zone in less than two weeks. It was someone a very close friend had gone to high school with, and had not seen in 20 years.
  • Belle8312
    Belle8312 Posts: 2,151 Member
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    @Sinistrous‌ I need you in my Valentine's Day thread rant. :smiley:
  • CherokeeBabe
    CherokeeBabe Posts: 1,704 Member
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    More awkward than bad. We'd talked online for ages and lived in the same state and thought we should finally meet and hang out. No expectations, not exactly a true 'date' but close enough I suppose.

    He was very overweight (I knew he was generally 'big' but he'd downplayed it, not a problem though since I knew him well in other ways and don't have an issue with bigger guys). He was sweating profusely the whole time, we watched Harry Potter movies and had a casual order-in dinner and he held my hand, dripping sweat and shaking.

    He was normally a great conversationalist, he couldn't seem to find words to talk. I felt so bad, I kept telling him it was ok and to just relax. I don't know why he was so nervous, we'd been talking and friendly for years beforehand. He was going to college a few cities away and we never saw each other again in person since then, just went back to talking like we always had. :\
  • mamasage
    mamasage Posts: 12 Member
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    I've had my share of doozies but I think the worst was the guy who ordered mass amounts of cocktails and sushi, waiting until the end to inform me that he didn't have any money on him to contribute, and also, had spent the past eight years between a mental institution and jail. Then he asked "Can I come to your house and see where you sleep?"
    Ummmm. I'm gonna go with "no" on that one...
  • Markdjones83
    Markdjones83 Posts: 852 Member
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    Man and I thought I had issues, whew guess I'm only SLIGHTLY wierd :smiley:
  • Sinistrous
    Sinistrous Posts: 5,589 Member
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    Man and I thought I had issues, whew guess I'm only SLIGHTLY wierd :smiley:

    -pat pat-

    You're alright
  • tchell99
    tchell99 Posts: 434 Member
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    Didn't meet online (this was when I was in college in the ealry 90s), but started dating a guy I worked with at a restaurant over a school break while living back home. He seemed kinda obsessed with his ex gf and had other indications of instability, so I was happy to return to school 3 states away after a few weeks and chalk it up to a fling. Then I started getting collect calls...from jail. [Um, does anyone know how freaking expensive those are, especially for a college student?] He'd been arrested for harassing his ex (I never really got the details on exact charges, but I suspect battery and maybe assault) and wanted me to bail him out. He thought sending me a polaroid of him in his jail uniform would sway me. Nope. I cut off contact after two calls (what can I say, I felt bad at first, but then my sense kicked in).

    So then he started calling my Mom! She actually went down and put some $ in his commissary account. Luckily she saw the light once I told her some more details.