RillaVanilla's 125 lb loss thread
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Awesome thread and progress! I've also got a family trip planned, now 26.5 weeks away and I have to make sure I can fit on the plane! That's my first goal on this journey. Second is to take my grandson parasailing in the summer of 2016. I started mid-January and as of 2 weeks ago, I was down 11.6 lbs (19 from my known all time high). My scale has a dead battery and I'm finding it easier to focus on each individual day without the temptation of the scale. I am quite curious though! When I deem it necessary, I go to my daughter's office and use their scale. I'm almost ready for a new number! My highest known weight was 409, I started at 402 and was 390 and change on the 2nd of Feb. I'm really trying to zoom past the 380's and be in the 370's on my next weigh in. I need to be close to 310 by August 21. I'm tall, 6', so that helps. I've been doing low carb, high fat and tracking everything. My calorie goal daily is 1495, and most days I'm leaving about 200 calories on the table. I eat when I'm hungry, eat until I'm full, and I feel really good! I've cinched my bra in two rows of hooks, can put my socks on without a struggle, lost 4" off my hips, and am totally off all forms of sugar. Sugar and carbs just make me hungrier. No cravings, no ravenous hunger, I just work each day, each meal at a time. Thankfully, TOM doesn't visit anymore, so I don't have to deal with that!0
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@Mimilucious sounds like our trips are very close! Please feel free to post your progress on this thread and we will cheer each other on! I started Jan 23rd, so our start dates are very close too! We got this!! I'm excited to have weight loss buddies, that's why I started this thread.
Well done on your losses so far... 0 -
Thanks! We DO have this! LOL!0
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I don't know if it's because I'm PMS (and late) or what, but I'm extra hungry today and have decided to go back to my original plan of following the MFP goals, set to lose 1 lb/week. One major thing I'm learning as I go is to be a LOT more flexible. I've always been very black and white, all or nothing, and that does NOT work well when trying to lose weight. It's okay to try something new, but if it isn't working, it's okay to tweak things... just never, never, NEVER quit. I want this to be doable for the rest of my life, and life isn't black and white... it's many (one could even say at least 50) shades of grey (see what I did there... I do make myself laugh sometimes).
This morning I realized I should be doing a Friday weigh-in for a number of reasons. 1) I started on a Friday - January 23rd, the day after my first consult with the bariatric surgeon. 2) Friday is the only day of the week I get up at the same time every single week so that would mean my weigh in is more accurate. 3) I won't have to keep explaining that this is "week 4", but actually it's only been 3.5 weeks, cause blah, blah, blah... So... I plan to weigh whenever I want, but Fridays will be my official weekly weigh in day from now on.0 -
There's something bugging me today after reading a couple forum posts... It's the general tone and attitude towards people who are struggling or "failing" in their weight loss efforts. Are there people who actually feel motivated by other people being harsh and blunt to them? Why is that when someone is hurting or down people think it's helpful to blast them with accusations of "just making excuses" or "being too negative"? That has NEVER worked for me.
I am definitely more open to advice/suggestions when the approach is kind and compassionate. I'm not saying they should lie to me, but what's up with this hard knocks life "tell it like it is" attitude that seems to be permeating the weight loss community? Does it originate from the Biggest Loser type shows where a trainer screams at someone till they break? Cause it doesn't work like that in real life... Sorry, but it just comes across as incredibly self righteous and condescending. When I'm struggling, I REALLY don't want to hear how hard a life you have had and how you if you can do it, everyone else should be able to just snap out of it and DO IT... You don't live in my life or know my past, or what kind of emotional state of mind I'm in. Maybe I'm just naive, but isn't ignoring or shunning someone when they are being "negative" or feeling like a "failure" just going to make them feel even worse and continue the cycle? Here's a thought... Why don't we help people break that cycle by giving them practical and compassionate support? Sure it takes a little more time and effort, but it's SO worth it!
As someone who responds best to a gentle touch and compassionate words, here's how I want to be uplifted and encouraged when I'm struggling:- Start by listening, let me know you hear me, and show you care. ie "Wow, you're having a rough time. Sounds like you really need a hug today," NOT "Wow, aren't you full of excuses, why don't you just get off your lazy butt and exercise."
- Help me figure out what I'm doing RIGHT, because trust me, I already KNOW full well what I'm doing wrong.
- Share a story of a time you could relate to my situation/struggle. Connect with me. Be human and kind.
- Do something practical to support me in making small changes. Offer to do a challenge with me, or help me set some relevant goals. ie. "Let's message each other every time we've completed our workout" or "Let's set a timer and drink 4 oz of water every 30 minutes today" or "Here's a recipe that's easy and super delicious, let's both get the ingredients today and do some food prep so we're eating well."
- Be honest AND kind. Don't tiptoe around the issues I'm having, don't ignore areas that need to improve, but for the love of all that is right in the world, PLEASE use some tact and kindness when telling me the truth. As Mary Poppins said, "A spoon full of sugar helps the medicine go down..."
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Giving yourself a year to see where you are at is a GREAT choice! The surgery is certainly a tool that has helped many people, but if you do not have to take that route, even better! I started in August last year, weighing 280, and am now at 234. I have about 55 more pounds to go to hit my first goal, but I hope that encourages you. Once I got the "diet" aspect figured out, I added exercise. I do not have injuries, so I was able to do things like fitness classes about 3 days a week, and also some walking. Now I am trying to turn my walks into runs very very slowly. Its great not to jump in full force, it lets your body adjust, your mind adjust, and it allows you to continually add goals to work towards. You will be surprised at what your body can do!0
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You have made so many important observations about and commitments to your life in your thread so far. I just finished reading through it. I'm really proud of you and hope to cheer you on. I laughed when reading your NSV goals, because I share so many of them. Here's another:
*Not having to worry about whether I can sit comfortably in any chair, any where.
I absolutely HATE this!!
I've just started my own (somewhat similar) thread here: No fear of commitment!
Please join me, too! 0 -
@dayrae02 That's my thoughts exactly. I've spent the last 25 years trying to lose weight, largely unsuccessfully. I figure if I can stick with a reasonable plan for at least a year I might actually get somewhere. I have to try anyway. And if it doesn't work out, I have the surgery as a back up plan.
@eml298 Oh yeah, the chair situation is a constant worry. And most are SO uncomfortable!! My bum hangs off the sides, and I often feel like I'm going to slide off. It will be such a relief when I can sit on a chair without even thinking about it anymore! Gonna go check out your thread too! Thanks for joining in. The more the merrier.
AFM (I've seen that in other threads... I'm assuming it means "as for me"?) I'm so exhausted today! I got up at 7 AM to pee, went back to bed but couldn't sleep... got up again around 8:30... puttered around for a few hours but was so sleepy I was dozing off every time I sat down at my computer, so I went back to bed. Next thing I know it's 3:30 PM... Got up, did some exercise on the deskcycle, and finished making supper for the family. Feeling okay now, but geez... what was that all about?!
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Much better energy level today. I woke up before my son's 7:30 am alarm and 30 min later was really wide awake due to our electrical company's tree pruning contractors hacking away at the trees on our street... Chain saws and machinery engines are not the most relaxing peaceful way to wake up, just sayin'!!! Now let's hope we have no more windstorm power outages from branches falling on lines!!
Was posting on @eml298's support thread this morning and she reminded me that I want to reach my goal weight by my 40th birthday too. I just used one of those date calculation sites and it is 1 year and 3 months away, or 66 weeks. That means I need to average a loss of 1.8 lbs/week... Huh. Kind of puts things in perspective this morning. I've averaged 2 lbs a week so far, but I'm not naive enough to expect that trend to carry on forever... Good thing the ice cream and cheesecake are gone now!!
I was able to do my 8 min on the desk cycle yesterday without wanting to die. Strange how one day it feels easy and other days each peddle rotation is a struggle.
Today is the anniversary of my divorce from the abusive ex being finalised... And found out last night my dad is signing divorce papers today with his psycho ex. Strange coincidence, I thought... So happy and grateful to have real love in my life now with my hubs...
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When I'm on my TOM heavy days, I increase my calories by 100-200. It helps deal with the hunger and fatigue, while still keeping me on track with my 1.5-2# a week weight loss. It sounds like you are doing great so far, and making small changes that are going to have a lasting positive impact! And I also agree about the condescending comments. They drive me crazy with the 'holier than thou' attitude. I have to ignore it, because if I let it get to me then it will just drag me down, and I don't want or need that.0
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@KrunchyMama Yes, ignoring the "perfects" is definitely the best option. Or as a close friend said to me years ago, "Don't engage with crazy." haha
TOM is still not here... I think the extended PMS before TOM is the worst part of having PCOS, for me personally. Thankfully I have the luxury of time right now to sleep it off when I'm struggling with fatigue and headaches. I've been REALLY consistent with taking my iron/B12 supplement for the past month and that's helping my energy levels tremendously. Adding in extra cals makes sense...0 -
I think you've made great progress so far. I'm a month in and down 10.2 pounds, which is awesome for me. But I tell ya, the scale is not your friend and likes to play mind games. On one of my weigh in days I was down nothing and the very next day was down almost 4 pounds. Did I lose 4 pounds over night? NOOOO.
I have started weighing daily and then just recording my weight on Friday, my official weigh in date, good or bad. That way, I see the fluctuations that my body goes through but just know that if I stay on plan, the scale WILL go down. So that's been my goal. Not pounds lost, but staying under my daily calories.
Good Luck! I wouldn't focus on "x" number of pounds before your trip home. But rather just staying on plan.0 -
@melodyesch All very good points. I tend to get caught up in numbers (I loves them), trying to predict the outcome of this or that if I do this or that. I've been tracking my numbers on a spreadsheet (geek alert!) and there's no rhyme, reason or trend emerging. Surprise, surprise. LOL One week I lose over 6 lbs eating a lot, the next I gain 2 eating just slightly less... I eat a lot less and only lose 0.2, I eat slightly less and lose 2.6... Who even knows?! It's SO HARD to trust the process. What's even harder is getting OUT of my own head!!
So... I'll probably always tweak and edit my plan (it's fun), and I'm going to weigh when I want... but I'll TRY not to worry about the ups and down throughout the interim & keep my eye on the big picture. A a loss is a loss and I'll take it!
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RillaVanilla wrote: »@melodyesch All very good points. I tend to get caught up in numbers (I loves them), trying to predict the outcome of this or that if I do this or that. I've been tracking my numbers on a spreadsheet (geek alert!) and there's no rhyme, reason or trend emerging. Surprise, surprise. LOL One week I lose over 6 lbs eating a lot, the next I gain 2 eating just slightly less... I eat a lot less and only lose 0.2, I eat slightly less and lose 2.6... Who even knows?! It's SO HARD to trust the process. What's even harder is getting OUT of my own head!!
So... I'll probably always tweak and edit my plan (it's fun), and I'm going to weigh when I want... but I'll TRY not to worry about the ups and down throughout the interim & keep my eye on the big picture. A a loss is a loss and I'll take it!
I find that my weight fluctuates by about 5# on any given day, and I also track my weight on a spreadsheet lol. As long as the overall trend is downward I'm happy. Do some reading about plateaus, water retention, and whooshes. I was working really hard for the last couple scales, and felt like I should be losing weight but I wasn't. I did some reading though, because my fat felt really squishy, which is when I read about whooshes. So I upped my calories for a couple days, and the water weight came right off! Once I get over my cold/bronchitis, I'll be going back to my 1240 calorie days, and upping my exercise.
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@krunchymama Yes, I do know about whooshes and all the variables that go into weight gain/loss. Weight loss has been my main "hobby" since I was 13... I should have majored as a dietician or something. haha Maybe when I"m slim and won't feel like a hypocrite I'll pursue it... Oh, and hope you feel better soon!! 0
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RillaVanilla wrote: »@krunchymama Yes, I do know about whooshes and all the variables that go into weight gain/loss. Weight loss has been my main "hobby" since I was 13... I should have majored as a dietician or something. haha Maybe when I"m slim and won't feel like a hypocrite I'll pursue it... Oh, and hope you feel better soon!!
Thanks! And I know what you mean, learning about food and nutrition are my interests too! I think if I can get this weight off I'd like to become a motivational weight loss/health coach
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I had the bypass done 5 years ago and fortunately no horrible side effects. Over 5 years i have gained 18lbs and I am working hard to get that weight back off. I weighed 345 and now I average 180 to 195. I just maintain my weight but the weight loss surgery does have its ups and downs but overall I have no complaints.mcclelland0484 wrote: »I looked into the surgery option when I reached 365 lbs. The surgery just removes the sensation of hunger but it does it at a great cost. Side effects are endless. My mother had a bypass 7 years ago. Lost weight. Then regained it. Sometime in between she had heart issues (unrelated). She could not utilize the standard treatment because she was unable to absorb medicine due to the previous surgery. I have lost 130lbs in a year, doing exactly what you are doing now. Side effect of dieting is hunger. The side effect of bypass surgery could be death. I'd rather be hungery.
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@kiawells2015 Thanks for sharing about your experience with it! I am subbed to a lot of WLS'ers on Youtube as well as a WLS forum, and your experience tends to be more the norm than otherwise. Of course I've been researching it for years, and the pros outweigh the cons for me at this point... Congrats on excellent maintenance!0
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Hi there, @RillaVanilla et al! Looks like things are sailing right along today! Interesting comments about TOM and calories, etc....glad I popped in! Also, I think you can meet you goal by your birthday! Somehow I missed that you have until NEXT year...you can do it! 0
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I'm on a life-style change mission because I don't want to resort to bariatric surgery, even though I know that if I survived the surgery I would come out of it with no insulin resistance. At 70 years of age, I think a surgery that big is a dangerous move for me. Good luck to those of you who are working to that end. Like someone else said on here, by the time you get to the point where you can have the surgery, you might find that you can go on without it.0
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@NK1112 Me too... I have to admit I have doubts I'll continue to lose, given my track record, but I'm committed to sticking with it until I get a surgery date and then make a final decision at that point.
@eml298 Thanks for stopping by here too... Yes, it's a year and 3 months, not 3 months! haha That would be a bit extreme... 0 -
My dad is staying at his sister's place tonight and she's driving him to the airport to fly back home tomorrow. He's been staying with us since the 11th so our week and a half of family get togethers and all the extra high calorie food is finally ending.
Thoughts at midnight in a quiet house of sleeping family:
I think one of the main reasons I've failed at weight loss in the past is because it feels like a full time job to stay focused. Just to be clear, this isn't an excuse in any way, just an observation or awareness... Losing weight is a huge energy drain for me... I'm an introvert who has trouble juggling tons of balls at the best of times, and when I get worn out, the first ball I drop is my weight loss efforts... It's been a vicious cycle of starting a diet on Monday morning, joining a gym, going to work full time, going to the gym after work (I'm NOT a morning person), coming home exhausted, family clamouring for help, making dinner, cleaning up, etc... If just one more stress is added to the mix I derail. I'm not a binge eater, but I will have an extra serving, or some ice cream, or go out for dinner and those extra calories add up... Then I'm too tired/busy to workout, I start gaining weight back, I feel like a failure so I comfort myself with a treat, and gain more and before you know it I've undone my hardwork and... I start a diet on a Monday morning... Rinse, repeat...
So what's different this time? For the first time since I graduated high school (more than 20 years ago), I'm very grateful to now have the luxury of a lot of free time alone to focus on food prep, logging my meals, getting activity in everyday, and processing all the milestones and challenges along the way. I have very few personal obligations so I've committed to making the most of this time to get a handle on living a healthy lifestyle, and develop habits that will serve me well when I'm at goal.0 -
OK @rillavanilla ... here is some real 'tough love' heading your way, so pull out the facial tissues and take a deap breath ...
That first paragrah ... the one that starts with 'I think' reads like a bunch of excuses to alleviate the pain of failure ... a natural inclination we all fall prey to when we don't succeed and don't want to face it ... you took on too much at one time. You set yourself up for failure right from the get-go with the thought that this is a 'diet' and you jumped into the deep end of the pool before you learned how to swim. No wonder you drowned!
Believe me, I am your sister in this, because that is what I also did for 30-some years. Therefore, I am now nearing my 70th birthday and still have the same weight to lose that I have been trying to lose since I was 45 years old. Not that I didn't have to lose weight before I was 45, I just didn't have as much of it to lose then as I do/did now. Right now I am still working on getting back to the weight I was in 1993, when my son got married. If you looked at a photo of me in the dress I picked for the wedding, you would say .... "hmm, nice dress, too bad it's on a size 20 woman. Would look much better if it was in a size 12 or 14.
Do not think of this as a diet, or anything temporary ... it is a life-style change for the rest of your life. So take it one step at a time. Make one substitution at a time. Don't eat so few calories that you sabatoge your body and slow your metabolism. What woman with PCOS need is exercise. Not the gym-type exercise per se, but moving more and sitting less. Walk. Do some calisthenics. Dig a garden. Cut the grass with a walk-behind mower. Play with your kids. Have long sex with your husband. Eat in moderation .... put more vegetables and less starch on your plate, make most of the vegetables something you like that is not starchy. Give yourself the freedom to have a dessert that is not a piece of fruit once in a while ... even one time a week. For that matter, give yourself a 'free day' where you can eat up to your maintenance calories instead of your reduced calories for the day.
Make soup ... and eat some every day. When one soup runs out, make another one of a different kind. Get your whole family used to eating soup to start the meal, and salad to finish it. Keep yourself fed often enough and fully enough so you don't need to eat again for about 3-4 hours. Measure your blood glucose. If you are taking metformin, it's because you are insulin resistant ... you need to learn how the foods you are eating affect your blood sugar spikes. The more carbs in your meal, the more your sugar will spike and the sooner you will be hungry again.
Most important ... don't make this a temporary thing. Weight loss surgery is not always a cure all ... even with it you will have to make modifications in your lifestyle on a permanent basis and it will take a year to get trim. I know too many people who didn't make the lifestyle change and ended up regaining all the weight they lost via surgery because they stretched their stomach out by overfilling it on a regular basis ... and with more severe repurcussions because they didn't have the parts of the stomach anymore that helped them absorb nutrients. Make the changes during this 'waiting time' to form new and better habits by working on one habit at a time.
The way you change a habit is you replace one thing with a better choice. You do that until it's natural and automatic. Then you tackle another one.
Good luck. Don't be angy at my rant at you. I just don't want you to be in the same boat as I am in when you are 30 years older than you are today.0 -
@nk1112 LOL sounds like you haven't read the rest of my thread from the OP onwards. What I was thinking about last night was an add on to the positive changes I HAVE made, not WILL make, and like I said, it's an observation, not excuses. Maybe go back and read through this thread from the start. 0
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RillaVanilla wrote: »@nk1112 LOL sounds like you haven't read the rest of my thread from the OP onwards. What I was thinking about last night was an add on to the positive changes I HAVE made, not WILL make, and like I said, it's an observation, not excuses. Maybe go back and read through this thread from the start.
I have. I was ranting about your most recent post.
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@NK1112 I don't understand how your rant is relevant to me? My entire thread agrees with you, for the most part?0
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RillaVanilla wrote: »@NK1112 I don't understand how your rant is relevant to me? My entire thread agrees with you, for the most part?
Sorry to have offended you. That was not my intent.0 -
Oh man do I relate to all of you! I lost 140 lbs about three years ago and I have slowly regained..I think about 60lbs, though I'm too scared to weigh myself. I need support and friends on this weight loss journey too. I find that, for me, I struggle with self sabotage and eating to cope with down time. I read, I exercise, I try to do a lot to make sure I don't have a lot of down time...but I make a lot of mistakes along the way.
Whenever I eat something I know is bad for me or binge on a whole bunch of crap food I feel so much self hatred that its all consuming. I find that meditation relieves a lot of self hate and so does connecting with others.0 -
RillaVanilla wrote: »@NK1112 I don't understand how your rant is relevant to me? My entire thread agrees with you, for the most part?
Sorry to have offended you. That was not my intent.
Not offended at all! Just trying to understand... ❤️
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@LubGunther For me, the key to making a lasting change has been small gradual changes rather than going "healthy" cold turkey. It took me more than a week to get my cals under my daily goal, but every day I logged it all anyway, and allowed no judgement or guilt... And everyday I do a little better. I also removed all "bad food" from my vocabulary. ANYTHING can be worked into my macros, absolutely nothing is off limits. As I go I've naturally found the healthier food to be more satisfying, so that's become my primary diet, but I'm still making room for treats so I feel normal and not deprived... If something extra comes up I'll do more exercise to get in under my net calories... I started with zero activity and almost a month later I do 8 min/day every single day now (unless I'm in too much pain). Be kind to yourself. Focus on what you're doing right and celebrate your achievements... I've had to let the bad thoughts go and know that I'm doing my best RIGHT NOW and my best will improve with practice. ((((HUGS))))0
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