fifty shades of grey
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hollydubs85 wrote: »BRB_sardines wrote: »
Ditto, wtf. Knowing about "actual, hardcore BDSM" was one of the best discoveries in my life!
They mean that if women knew about actual hardcore BDSM, they wouldn't be interested in the books.
I fear they know of it, but not about it, and thusly think the books are even remotely legit. -_- Blag.0 -
hollydubs85 wrote: »BRB_sardines wrote: »
Ditto, wtf. Knowing about "actual, hardcore BDSM" was one of the best discoveries in my life!
They mean that if women knew about actual hardcore BDSM, they wouldn't be interested in the books.
Ah, OK. If that's so, then I misunderstood her point.0 -
There is a great blog post on 50 shades and inaccurate views http://inthequietof.blogspot.com/2013/03/50-shades-of-debauchery.html0
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I read the books and will see the movie but just to see it.
The book was not the best writing. If you love this type of book, read The Claiming of Sleeping Beauty series by Anne Rice. Actually Belinda and Exit to Eden were really good as well.
Story of O and Anais Nin books are awesome too.
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I read the first 2 books. Couldn't get past the third. My older sister was going on and on about it, so I thought I'd try. I just couldn't stand reading Ana's thoughts, and the sex got really boring quickly. I did see the movie out of curiosity. There must be some people out there who loved it because it was the highest money producing movie ever released over presidents day weekend. It was being shown every hour at all 5 theaters in town and had sold out. I have to say that Ana wasn't nearly as annoying in the movie since I couldn't hear what she was thinking! I didn't go into the movie with the thought of this being something sexy. I knew better. It was fun though, the thought of a ton of total strangers packed into a room watching bad sex. My guy and I had fun imagining what everyone was thinking. I didn't not enjoy the movie, but if you're looking for something thought provoking, then it's not what you're looking for.0
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^^ThisI will be the odd man out.... I loved the books. Not because they are well written but because it was a really easy read which is what this busy, tired momma was looking for. I didn't really find the books any more descriptive than your average romance novel just that the type of sex they were having was a bit taboo. My fav parts of the book was the witty banter in the txt messages and emails
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I agree with this. I just wanted to be mindless and not think about the stresses of the world and this gave me a small escape. It is just a story, I expect nothing more.I read the books. Seeing the film this evening with a girlfriend. My thoughts . . . it was a mindless read. I read all sorts of books, and sometimes I am just looking for a distration from the monotany of life. 50 Shades was that. Also, I found myself in situations where people were constantly talking about the book. It was nice to be able to participate in the conversations. I think the movie will be the same. I am not expecting to be all warm and tingly when I leave the theater (If I am . . . Yay). Nor am I expecting to have my mind stimulated. I am taking it for what it is . . . a fun way to spend an evening with a good friend. I guess either I am a brainless twit . . . or possibly smart enough to not overthink it, and just take it for what it is.
Yes, Anna was portrayed as weak and Christian as controlling. I do not see anywhere anything about rape, she was always consenting. It is not a book of facts or a guide to relationships, it is just a book and nothing more.0 -
usflygirl55 wrote: »
I agree with this. I just wanted to be mindless and not think about the stresses of the world and this gave me a small escape. It is just a story, I expect nothing more.I read the books. Seeing the film this evening with a girlfriend. My thoughts . . . it was a mindless read. I read all sorts of books, and sometimes I am just looking for a distration from the monotany of life. 50 Shades was that. Also, I found myself in situations where people were constantly talking about the book. It was nice to be able to participate in the conversations. I think the movie will be the same. I am not expecting to be all warm and tingly when I leave the theater (If I am . . . Yay). Nor am I expecting to have my mind stimulated. I am taking it for what it is . . . a fun way to spend an evening with a good friend. I guess either I am a brainless twit . . . or possibly smart enough to not overthink it, and just take it for what it is.
Yes, Anna was portrayed as weak and Christian as controlling. I do not see anywhere anything about rape, she was always consenting. It is not a book of facts or a guide to relationships, it is just a book and nothing more.
The problem is, so many people read that and think 'this is what a BDSM relationship looks like' and not 'this is someone's fantasy idea of BDSM, maybe i should look it up myself'. There's nothing wrong with a quick read (though there are better books out the for that), but what concerns me are the people that will actually believe that BDSM is actually just another term for a type of abusive relationship.
And yes, there's a scene where he breaks into her apartment and rapes her. Not 'she kinda indicated yes' but as in he broke in, she tries to get away, and he pins her on her bed and threatens her, then rapes her. I don't care how much of a mindless read I want, that does not constitute romantic or desirable in my mind. EVEN IF she had a rape fantasy (and some women do, but she gives no indication she does), he wouldn't have known that. That's part of the problems I have with this book. And some of what EL James writes about might be fantasies of hers. But the story isn't written like that. Ana doesn't really seem to want to participate in the kink aspect, she's just going along with it because she wants a relationship with this guy. That's just sad in my opinion.0 -
usflygirl55 wrote: »
I agree with this. I just wanted to be mindless and not think about the stresses of the world and this gave me a small escape. It is just a story, I expect nothing more.I read the books. Seeing the film this evening with a girlfriend. My thoughts . . . it was a mindless read. I read all sorts of books, and sometimes I am just looking for a distration from the monotany of life. 50 Shades was that. Also, I found myself in situations where people were constantly talking about the book. It was nice to be able to participate in the conversations. I think the movie will be the same. I am not expecting to be all warm and tingly when I leave the theater (If I am . . . Yay). Nor am I expecting to have my mind stimulated. I am taking it for what it is . . . a fun way to spend an evening with a good friend. I guess either I am a brainless twit . . . or possibly smart enough to not overthink it, and just take it for what it is.
Yes, Anna was portrayed as weak and Christian as controlling. I do not see anywhere anything about rape, she was always consenting. It is not a book of facts or a guide to relationships, it is just a book and nothing more.
The problem is, so many people read that and think 'this is what a BDSM relationship looks like' and not 'this is someone's fantasy idea of BDSM, maybe i should look it up myself'. There's nothing wrong with a quick read (though there are better books out the for that), but what concerns me are the people that will actually believe that BDSM is actually just another term for a type of abusive relationship.
And yes, there's a scene where he breaks into her apartment and rapes her. Not 'she kinda indicated yes' but as in he broke in, she tries to get away, and he pins her on her bed and threatens her, then rapes her. I don't care how much of a mindless read I want, that does not constitute romantic or desirable in my mind. EVEN IF she had a rape fantasy (and some women do, but she gives no indication she does), he wouldn't have known that. That's part of the problems I have with this book. And some of what EL James writes about might be fantasies of hers. But the story isn't written like that. Ana doesn't really seem to want to participate in the kink aspect, she's just going along with it because she wants a relationship with this guy. That's just sad in my opinion.
It's amazing (and sad) how many people still don't know what rape is.0 -
usflygirl55 wrote: »
I agree with this. I just wanted to be mindless and not think about the stresses of the world and this gave me a small escape. It is just a story, I expect nothing more.I read the books. Seeing the film this evening with a girlfriend. My thoughts . . . it was a mindless read. I read all sorts of books, and sometimes I am just looking for a distration from the monotany of life. 50 Shades was that. Also, I found myself in situations where people were constantly talking about the book. It was nice to be able to participate in the conversations. I think the movie will be the same. I am not expecting to be all warm and tingly when I leave the theater (If I am . . . Yay). Nor am I expecting to have my mind stimulated. I am taking it for what it is . . . a fun way to spend an evening with a good friend. I guess either I am a brainless twit . . . or possibly smart enough to not overthink it, and just take it for what it is.
Yes, Anna was portrayed as weak and Christian as controlling. I do not see anywhere anything about rape, she was always consenting. It is not a book of facts or a guide to relationships, it is just a book and nothing more.
The problem is, so many people read that and think 'this is what a BDSM relationship looks like' and not 'this is someone's fantasy idea of BDSM, maybe i should look it up myself'. There's nothing wrong with a quick read (though there are better books out the for that), but what concerns me are the people that will actually believe that BDSM is actually just another term for a type of abusive relationship.
And yes, there's a scene where he breaks into her apartment and rapes her. Not 'she kinda indicated yes' but as in he broke in, she tries to get away, and he pins her on her bed and threatens her, then rapes her. I don't care how much of a mindless read I want, that does not constitute romantic or desirable in my mind. EVEN IF she had a rape fantasy (and some women do, but she gives no indication she does), he wouldn't have known that. That's part of the problems I have with this book. And some of what EL James writes about might be fantasies of hers. But the story isn't written like that. Ana doesn't really seem to want to participate in the kink aspect, she's just going along with it because she wants a relationship with this guy. That's just sad in my opinion.
It's amazing (and sad) how many people still don't know what rape is.
It is sad. And unfortunately, that's part of why so much victim blaming happens. And it happens multiple times in the book, that's just the one i can recall the clearest. Thing is, every time they have sex, even the few times she consents to it, she's not really into it. She seems to just go along with what he wants and maybe she'll learn to like it. That's not her getting in touch with her kinky side, that's desperation to keep her 'boyfriend'. If that's your reason for having sex with a guy, you need to really take a deep look at yourself and your relationship because that *kitten* ain't healthy.
......ok, i need to step off the soapbox before i go further.0
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