Having a treat 1/2x a week and peoples reactions to it

I think the best way to prove to her that you can have an occasional treat is to show her at least a weeks worth of completed diary entries where you are under your caloric goal. If you are not tracking your food, you will not be able to tell if you can afford to eat it or not. If most of your food choices are healthy and you are exercising, it will help her to put things into perspective. Also keep in mind that moms love their kids and although she may not be doing it in the best way, her actions are a sign that she loves you and wants you to be healthy.

Personally, I have a treat every day. It helps keep me balanced. And yes, some days I go over my net calories. But it's much better for my mental health, social life, and overall happiness to have a small treat daily (a little homemade cookie, or a small chocolate) and to have some splurge days (friends inviting me out for dinner, no way to count calories, just want to enjoy the food and live my life). I had a good friend once who was a bit heavier, but she had a lot of mental issues around food/exercise (prior eating disorder, was severely underweight). She found it was better for her overall quality of life to be a bit overweight (not exercising as much, having a few more treats) than to restrict because then she spiraled out of control. I think that's one of the dangers of MFP, it can make people have some pretty disordered thoughts. I track my calories out of interest, and might refuse a snack because I see how close I am to my daily limit. But only allowing a certain number of treats per week, or only on certain days, or not eating things because I'm not sure how to count the calories....that isn't living to me! I don't think treats need justifying to your mother or anyone else. You're an adult, it's your life, do what makes you happy.

xstephnz wrote: »

Haha, omg I hate how when I post on here, people seem to read all of my other threads on the same day and judge me. I know I'm shocking and sound terrible, it's so hard to be honest and open and put yourself out there when you are just starting out, and don't really know what you are doing. I have a very disordered way of looking at weightloss (I used to look at thinspo and only eat one meal a day) and have a really bad body image. It sucks having people analyse everything you do and make you sound like an idiot, even if you did a good job of that yourself. I wish I could post anonymously so that people wouldn't realise it was me posting all the crazy threads.

If I wasn't so embarrassed, ashamed of myself, scared etc, maybe I would log everyday. What I post is based on past entries. I have logged my food a few times.

Thanks for the help though. I feel like I am learning some stuff, and most of the support means the world to me.

It makes me laugh how so many of you are talking about me like I'm not here. I am reading all of the replies.

I learned a great deal by lurking the boards here and never typing a word...

When you post on an open forum you are opening yourself up to ALL opinions, not just the ones you want to hear.

xstephnz wrote: »

Haha, omg I hate how when I post on here, people seem to read all of my other threads on the same day and judge me. I know I'm shocking and sound terrible, it's so hard to be honest and open and put yourself out there when you are just starting out, and don't really know what you are doing. I have a very disordered way of looking at weightloss (I used to look at thinspo and only eat one meal a day) and have a really bad body image. It sucks having people analyse everything you do and make you sound like an idiot, even if you did a good job of that yourself. I wish I could post anonymously so that people wouldn't realise it was me posting all the crazy threads.

If I wasn't so embarrassed, ashamed of myself, scared etc, maybe I would log everyday. What I post is based on past entries. I have logged my food a few times.

Thanks for the help though. I feel like I am learning some stuff, and most of the support means the world to me.

It makes me laugh how so many of you are talking about me like I'm not here. I am reading all of the replies.

Many original poster's don't return. Our topics would be extremely short if we counted on having discussions with them, so sometimes it tends to look more like being "about them" instead. Sorry if you found that offensive, though. I agree you shouldn't have to feel that way when you're just trying to change your life

In addition to just searching old posts you can also make your diary 100% private to yourself only

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/account/diary_settings

Most people make the suggestion for making diaries public so people can help review and make suggestions, but for the first time I'm recommending the opposite hah

Good luck

Some personalities have the ability to have treats by saving up calories and eating in moderation and unfortunately some dont. Im one that cant really go off and eat McDonalds or a pizza. It would play on my mind, id worry Id broken the diet as my brain plays tricks like that. Id also get a taste and that could be it. Only after 2 months ( on my second wave of weight loss and after 30 pounds ) have I allowed myself a treat of one glass of wine now and again.

I can see how your mum feels - treats need to be earned and only when a lifestyle new eating plan has embedded in my view

You're 25 years old.

Liftng4Lis wrote: »

You're 25 years old.

Also this. If your mom pulls the plug on the gym, find a way to pay for it yourself or exercise at home until you can pay for a gym membership.

You don't even have to exercise to lose weight - all you need is a calorie deficit. Although exercise will improve your health.

xstephnz wrote: »

How can I get my mum off my back for occasionally having treats? I wanted a caramel sundae from McDonalds the other day (and I had earnt it), but she said it was a waste of a workout and not to.

Sometimes I feel like having a piece or two of pizza (this coming from the girl who used to eat two whole pizzas by herself, plus sides, in one sitting), or a burger or something and I feel like the answer will always be no.

I have an all or nothing kind of personality, and find it hard to balance the good and the naughty. Having someone around that freaks out when I don't eat perfectly 100% of the time isn't helping.

What should I do? I'm kind of scared of her. She is paying for me to go to the gym, and I'm scared she will pull the plug if I don't do things her way.

My response to 'what should you do?' depends on a few things.

If you live on your own, then just eat the sundae when she isn't around. You have to do what works for you, and as long as you are still making progress towards your weight loss goals then it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. Actually, even if you aren't making progress towards your weight loss goals, well it's your life and you won't be able to lose weight until YOU are ready anyway.

BUT that being said, when you accept money from parents, or have them pay for things for you, then there are always strings (there's a reason I moved out at 17). So your mom is paying for your membership, and if you are eating a sundae in front of her (or asking her to pay for it, or to drive you there so you can buy it) then you are basically 'wasting' her money. When someone pays for something for you, it should be done freely without expectations, but my experience is that those types of things are never given freely. So if you are accepting the membership, you are accepting the strings that go with it. Don't like the strings, then don't accept the 'gift'.

If you are an 'all or nothing' personality, then it might benefit you to take a break from all junk food while you learn what your triggers are, and how to interpret your body's cravings. For me, this took 4-5 weeks. Maybe you've already done this, I don't know.

And if you are scared that she will pull the gym membership, then you better play to her tune. Especially if you are still living at home. If you are living on your own, and she pulls the membership, then you'll figure something else out if you are ready and committed to losing the weight. Living on your on, and living your life your way will also help with "getting your mom off your back"

You probably won't like this but based on your empty diary, the other thread you started about not having enough calories, and this thread;

I think you should grow up, pay your own way, log your meals, stop making excuses, and take responsibility for yourself.

No matter how many "friends" one has, we are all in this alone. We arise every day and make decisions that affect the rest of our life. No one can do this for you nor validate your choices. Your body and your health is the result of your choices past and present.

Want different results? Change your behavior.

For me, it's more important to be healthier long term. That means that whatever changes I make, I have to be able to live with. So, moderation is key! There is no way I'm not eating ice cream or pizza for the rest of my life, so I have to figure out how I can work that into my everyday life.

Just looked at her Diary.....I have NOTHING else to say.

xstephnz wrote: »

How can I get my mum off my back for occasionally having treats? I wanted a caramel sundae from McDonalds the other day (and I had earnt it), but she said it was a waste of a workout and not to.

Sometimes I feel like having a piece or two of pizza (this coming from the girl who used to eat two whole pizzas by herself, plus sides, in one sitting), or a burger or something and I feel like the answer will always be no.

I have an all or nothing kind of personality, and find it hard to balance the good and the naughty. Having someone around that freaks out when I don't eat perfectly 100% of the time isn't helping.

What should I do? I'm kind of scared of her. She is paying for me to go to the gym, and I'm scared she will pull the plug if I don't do things her way.

Do you want to lose weight ?
Why are you asking her what you can eat or telling her what you are eating? Is she buying the food for you? Log everything and show her that the item fits your calories and that you are eating plenty of nutritious food. She can still say no to spending HER money on something and you will have to live with it. She can't tell you how to spend your own money though and you can tell her it is not her business.
You don't actually need a gym to exercise so don't be scared of that. If she stops paying for it you can still walk, run, dance, do workout videos.
Get a job and use your own money for food or gym memberships.

xstephnz wrote: »

Lurking probably would have been a better option lol. My bad.

It's usually a pretty good idea to lurk anywhere before posting just to get the "feel" of the website, kinda learn any unofficial rules.

I don't have a problem with treating yourself once or twice a week, heck even once or twice a day. Weight loss happens by calories expended being more than calorie intake.

I have a cheat day, actually now that I am thinking about it I need to move that to a cheat meal, this is where I eat what I want, how much I want, dang the calories. Now some may say that this sets back the progress I made in the week, I say it keeps me going for another week, so if I lose 2 pounds instead of 3 pounds a week because I "treat" myself I don't consider it a loss, especially since I am still losing weight after 4 weeks and I plan to keep at it and not stop because I am denying myself.

As for the parental interference, all I can say is what the other poster said, "DON'T DO IT IN FRONT OF HER"

And to the rest of the MFP'ers who are giving her a had time, STOP, going from eating a whole pizza down to just 2 slices shows commitment and a good change in eating habits. Even if she never logs, if she continues to exercise and eat less than she normally would have, SHE WILL LOSE THE WEIGHT. Maybe not as quickly if she logged and followed some guideless BUT SHE WILL LOSE THE WEIGHT.

xstephnz wrote: »

How can I get my mum off my back for occasionally having treats? I wanted a caramel sundae from McDonalds the other day (and I had earnt it), but she said it was a waste of a workout and not to.

OP - no judgment here, but saying you had "earnt it" (the sundae) is the type of thinking that brings many of us to MFP. Rewarding ourselves with special food for working out (or for whatever) is a road that will likely lead to a lifelong weight problem. Eat the sundae if you want, but think about finding other non-food rewards like a new outfit or mani/pedi.