You Don't Know Jack! Yes I am going to vent...

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  • 12by311
    12by311 Posts: 1,716 Member
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    It's a public forum and there will be some very helpful posts and some off-the-wall posts. I'm not sure why people take the opinions of strangers on the internet so seriously in the first place, but you can always move on from the ones that you don't find hepful or report them if they are truly abusive.

    Agreed. I've truly never had my feelings hurt or put much thought into what some stranger in the interweb had to say.

    Also, as far as people being experts when struggling with weight issues themselves - there are some people on MFP who aren't struggling at all. Some have lost their weight and kept it off for years. Some are trained in nutrition and fitness. Some have never been overweight and are maintaining a healthy lifestyle. We can't assume everyone on here is here for the same reasons.
  • Mightytaco84
    Mightytaco84 Posts: 76 Member
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    I know this topic has been up for a few days now, but venting should really be left to blogs. That's why we have them.
  • Losingitin2011
    Losingitin2011 Posts: 572 Member
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    With all due respect, it is our choice whether or not to click a link that says vent. It isn't as though the title is deceiving and you're expecting puppy dogs and kittens playing in a field. If you don't want to read it, then don't read it. Simple as that.
  • Nailrep
    Nailrep Posts: 966 Member
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    I totally agree! IMO, success depends on changing the behavior that got me fat to begin with. And congrats on the weight loss! You DO qualify as an expert!!!
  • Kimdbro
    Kimdbro Posts: 922 Member
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    With all due respect, it is our choice whether or not to click a link that says vent. It isn't as though the title is deceiving and you're expecting puppy dogs and kittens playing in a field. If you don't want to read it, then don't read it. Simple as that.


    If this comment was directed to me, I've been misunderstood. Kjarlune's original post, her "vent" was terrific, and I'm in full support. Her point was bang on and correct. It's the negative comments, and petty responses to her post that I was referring to as being "trampling puppies" I thought I was rather clear about that. I enjoyed her post. Tho' it seemed to have fallen on deaf ears judging by many of the retaliatory responses. If your quoted post was not directed to me than my mistake. Although the very fact that you felt the need to write what you did speaks volumes regardless of whom it was directed. A vast majority of people on here can't seem to refrain from being for lack of a better word, "*****y" to one another.
  • pghfan
    pghfan Posts: 119
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    My two pet peeves on the forums: people getting bent out of shape over "starvation mode" happening the minute you eat too few calories, and the big one (drum roll please)...
    People using "loosing" instead of "losing"
    :laugh:
  • bellinachuchina
    bellinachuchina Posts: 498 Member
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    Well said Mayor_west.
    I agree with the general theme of this thread, but it also reminds me of my biggest complaint with this entire website. Namely, the fact that while MFP is a great tool for tracking daily food intake, water, and exercise, it is seemingly worthless when it comes to providing its members with a reliable, scientifically proven roadmap for its members to follow. As a result, most members flock to the message boards looking for answers and instead get conflicting messages from different members, who, as you pointed out, have zero to little idea of what the hell they're talking about, nor any sources to back up their claims. So, people tend to cling to answers resembling the ones they want (look at any of the threads regarding eating back exercise calories as an example) and tune out ones that contradict that.

    I'm new here myself so have not seen these types of posts Kjarlune made the initial rant thread about. I'll admit many people do think themselves experts but unless you have some degree then every thing is just your opinion and people should take it as such. And people should understand what works for one person may not work for another. I however don't feel it is necessary if somebody bashes or bullies another person(s); that is just wrong. This is a forum so everybody can have their say however people can be decent about it, have their say hopefully in a constructive way and then leave it as such.

    We are all accountable for ourselves. Only we can make the difference. It will be hard work and will be trying at times. It will be a life long struggle. These are the only true facts.

    Agreed! & as the OP stated "The numbers do not lie...."
  • LuckyLeprechaun
    LuckyLeprechaun Posts: 6,296 Member
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    What ever happened to opinions being given when asked?

    Give advice when asked.

    What to do when the person is NOT asking for advice, but simply looking for "YES" men?

    Am I still allowed to offer advice?
    WHY YES I AM. First amendment and all.
  • smileyface45
    smileyface45 Posts: 146 Member
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    YOU ROCK GIRL !!!!!!!!!
  • smileyface45
    smileyface45 Posts: 146 Member
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    BUMP
  • fteale
    fteale Posts: 5,310 Member
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    My two pet peeves on the forums: people getting bent out of shape over "starvation mode" happening the minute you eat too few calories, and the big one (drum roll please)...
    People using "loosing" instead of "losing"
    :laugh:

    I have those, plus my major one - eat more protein to lose weight! Er, no. It's still going to be turned into fat if you are eating more than your muscles need.
  • 36jessica
    36jessica Posts: 319 Member
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    I myself have a meal replacement shake for breakfast and sometimes lunch, people don't like them here, they "teach you nothing" - I see it more as starting from scratch. It's like punishment. It's not easy to want to snack between meals because you've only had a shake and then try and find the healthy snack option, believe me!

    It's a hard task this thing that some of us are doing. With over 100lbs still left to lose with the measly 23lbs out the way. I am looking at a looong drawn out process. I don't think I'll reach my deadline, but hey. I'm losing. I'm here. I am TRYING to teach myself and my 22 month old son better habits (I feed him healthier than i do myself, go figure). I work out. Or try to. at least 3 days a week.

    I eat diet bars myself. It's easier for me to track my calories considering I'm out of the house all day. :smile: Considering we're all different, what we each need to do is find something that works for us individually and do it. Trial and error until you're at a place you like and can live with.

    By the way, congrats on your 23lbs loss! No loss is measly. Enjoy your progress because you're doing great. For me, it's the process that's important -- long or short it may be -- not the finish line. Good luck!:smile:
  • 36jessica
    36jessica Posts: 319 Member
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    What ever happened to opinions being given when asked?

    Give advice when asked.

    Exactly!
  • Tangerine302
    Tangerine302 Posts: 1,509 Member
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    When someone asks why they are not losing weight or at a stand still I'm always interested in hearing what everyone has to say. I look at it as advice. Going back to look at the diary to see what it looks like and maybe someone might catch something that might be the reason why this is happening. If someone said it's because of this or that is just giving an opinion or trying to be helpful. It might be something they tried or what has worked for them when this has happened. Sometimes you don't notice what you maybe are doing right or wrong and it takes someone else to see it. I feel bad that the advice is being felt as being judged. I haven't been here that long, so I'm not sure on the posts you are referring to so sorry about that. Maybe I've been listening to Jillian too long. ha She tells it like it is no matter if you asked or not! hahaha But I'm someone that needs to be told that way when it comes to exercising! ha If she said are you tired honey? Just take a rest if you are, I probably would! She pushes me though and I like that! :) On the ripped in 30 she said something like you were the fool/sucker (something refered to that) that bought the dvd so do it!!! hahaha

    I just want to congratulate everyone on how much weight has been lost so far! It's amazing looking at all of the before and after pictures, etc. We are all in this together whether it is trying to be healthier or lose weight or both. Support or advice is what I try to offer and I hope it comes off as doing just that. Again, I'm amazed at all the progress on MFP! Excellent job everyone. Even if it's just drinking more water, that's one step closer to being healthier!
  • pizzygirltx
    pizzygirltx Posts: 96
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    you have made me smile on a day where i didn't think that was possible! :)
  • End6ame
    End6ame Posts: 903
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    I agree and disagree.

    My first thought on this is that the forum is full of people who just want you to confirm what they are doing and/or want everything spoon fed to them so that they don’t have to actually have to think. This goes hand in hand with what Mayor_West (awesome name by the way) was saying; everyone will weigh in and the OP will pick whatever answer most closely resembles what they are already doing and/or the easiest advice given.

    I am not an expert, and most people on here are not either, but I do consider myself knowledgeable in some areas based upon my own experience and research that I have done. As a result, my advice tends to differ from the conventional wisdom and only the truly dedicate usually follow my advice when I give it. My advice is usually recommending hard work, consistency and dedication. I also don’t coddle people regarding their slip-ups, lack of motivation etc. In all honesty, I think there is much more coddling that goes on in these forums than judgment and I personally believe that it is more detrimental to a person’s success.

    As far as only giving advice when asked; I think that can be just as harmful. Example: Someone asks you how their hair looks while they are standing in the street about to get hit by a car. Do you just answer their question, or do you give additional advice? Something that someone doesn’t know to ask about, could be effecting their results.
  • LuckyLeprechaun
    LuckyLeprechaun Posts: 6,296 Member
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    As far as only giving advice when asked; I think that can be just as harmful. Example: Someone asks you how their hair looks while they are standing in the street about to get hit by a car. Do you just answer their question, or do you give additional advice? Something that someone doesn’t know to ask about, could be effecting their results.

    However, even when you offer advice, and do so kindly, they jump down your throat, accuse you of judging, go nutso. Now I understand that ketosis leads to irritability, but sheesh. :laugh:

    The real reason I reply with information is because we have newbies all the time who would be distracted by the baloney unless a voice of reason speaks up. I was all ready to fall for the HCG scam, until a very knowledgable member pointed me in the right direction. So I try to speak up when I see people advocating imbalanced/dangerous/fad diets. I always point out that MFP works, it's free, why would you need anything else? Unfortunately, this results in my being accused of "judgment" and often a huge backlash.
  • Hyster1
    Hyster1 Posts: 75
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    VENT ON!!!!!I I could not agree with you more.
  • miasmom33
    miasmom33 Posts: 12
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    AMEN!!!!!
  • rishaskye
    rishaskye Posts: 24
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    Amen!

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