What nobody tells you about losing weight
Replies
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For some reason now whenever I see a very overweight young woman I just want to burst into tears. Because I know how she feels inside. I want to help her but I can't. The truth is its a cruel world and for some reason it's still fair game to abuse fat people. It hurts like hell.
Me too, it's that feeling of helplessness that gets me. I try so hard not to pity them and look for their strengths instead because I just can't help but think that at one time people saw me like that and probably felt the same way. Even though I was overweight & out of shape, there was so much more to me than just that.16 -
kazaargrandcru wrote: »For some reason now whenever I see a very overweight young woman I just want to burst into tears. Because I know how she feels inside. I want to help her but I can't. The truth is its a cruel world and for some reason it's still fair game to abuse fat people. It hurts like hell.
Me too, it's that feeling of helplessness that gets me. I try so hard not to pity them and look for their strengths instead because I just can't help but think that at one time people saw me like that and probably felt the same way. Even though I was overweight & out of shape, there was so much more to me than just that.
I don't know what I feel or why. Maybe I see myself in them? Basically I see someone who doesn't value herself and it is such a personal tragedy. This is all in my head of course. Maybe she is a very happy person.
I wish I had studied psychology in college. My life would probably be easier.6 -
Ticklemynose wrote: »Your shoes may no longer fit.
Don't be too quick to resize your wedding bands, most jewelers won't do it more than twice.
Find and make friends with your local consignment shop, don't splurge too much on clothes until you reach (and have stayed for a while at) goal.
Some of your friends and family members will not be supportive.
It's not a linear process (especially for us girls)! Some days/weeks you will not lose anything and that's okay. Stick to your plan.
Very true all of it. Especially some of your friends and family members may not be supportive. How do you work around that?
I have a few that consistently try to push my buttons, but I decided that I am doing this and that's that. I don't talk about it but obviously those close to me have noticed that I am doing some things differently so they ask questions. I just give direct, honest answers (nothing snarky) and am completely firm and confident in my demeanour that they quickly get bored & give up any attempts to tease me.10 -
SingRunTing wrote: »Serious for a second:
- Realizing that it wasn't my weight that was making me unhappy. There was something broken in my head. Once I fixed that, I was able to start losing the weight. I had to learn to love myself so that I could lose weight, instead of losing weight so that I could love myself.
Not so serious:
- Waking up in the morning and feeling my hip bones. I've never felt them before. I didn't realize how high up into my abdomen they go!
- Looking forward to my workouts (and feeling miserable if I miss them)
- Realizing that I can actually eat cake and ice cream, as long as I fit them into my calories. I went years without eating them or feeling guilty when I did. I don't feel guilty about food any more.
- Being able to breathe easier. I don't get winded walking anymore. I actually like to park on the other side of the parking lot. I don't have to hold my breath when I tie my shoes.
All of this^^
As well as:
-The way my legs look in a skirt now, not touching?
-How I am, for the first time in my life, enjoying running
-How much more flexible I am without all the extra padding
-I've always worked out a lot (at least 4 times a week, about an hour a time) but it's only recently that I find myself confident enough (thin enough?) to give advice
-And on that note people have started asking me for advice too. How crazy is that?
-Picking up new clothes that should be my size, only to find myself swimming in them
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kazaargrandcru wrote: »For some reason now whenever I see a very overweight young woman I just want to burst into tears. Because I know how she feels inside. I want to help her but I can't. The truth is its a cruel world and for some reason it's still fair game to abuse fat people. It hurts like hell.
Me too, it's that feeling of helplessness that gets me. I try so hard not to pity them and look for their strengths instead because I just can't help but think that at one time people saw me like that and probably felt the same way. Even though I was overweight & out of shape, there was so much more to me than just that.
I don't know what I feel or why. Maybe I see myself in them? Basically I see someone who doesn't value herself and it is such a personal tragedy. This is all in my head of course. Maybe she is a very happy person.
I wish I had studied psychology in college. My life would probably be easier.
In my case that's exactly it, I see myself in them and remember how my life was. Even though I had a lot of happy times & things were generally good, some part of me was missing or lost somehow. The extra weight was just a reflection of that. It's like I was filling a hole in my soul with the temporary pleasure of eating. One day I just realized that I was craving a feeling of fulfillment in my life and that food and inactivity was not satisfying it and I had to start doing something to take things down a different path.
I think it stemmed from me not being sure of my life's purpose so I stagnated because I didn't know what I should be working towards and didn't want to waste my efforts working on something that was not my destiny.
I now realize that my destiny is whatever I happen to be doing at any given moment and I am actually creating it as I go along. I don't have to know what my purpose is anymore because I am living it everyday. Now instead of waiting until my purpose is revealed before I can do something, I know that by the act of doing, it is revealing itself. Funny that
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kazaargrandcru wrote: »kazaargrandcru wrote: »For some reason now whenever I see a very overweight young woman I just want to burst into tears. Because I know how she feels inside. I want to help her but I can't. The truth is its a cruel world and for some reason it's still fair game to abuse fat people. It hurts like hell.
Me too, it's that feeling of helplessness that gets me. I try so hard not to pity them and look for their strengths instead because I just can't help but think that at one time people saw me like that and probably felt the same way. Even though I was overweight & out of shape, there was so much more to me than just that.
I don't know what I feel or why. Maybe I see myself in them? Basically I see someone who doesn't value herself and it is such a personal tragedy. This is all in my head of course. Maybe she is a very happy person.
I wish I had studied psychology in college. My life would probably be easier.
In my case that's exactly it, I see myself in them and remember how my life was. Even though I had a lot of happy times & things were generally good, some part of me was missing or lost somehow. The extra weight was just a reflection of that. It's like I was filling a hole in my soul with the temporary pleasure of eating. One day I just realized that I was craving a feeling of fulfillment in my life and that food and inactivity was not satisfying it and I had to start doing something to take things down a different path.
I think it stemmed from me not being sure of my life's purpose so I stagnated because I didn't know what I should be working towards and didn't want to waste my efforts working on something that was not my destiny.
I now realize that my destiny is whatever I happen to be doing at any given moment and I am actually creating it as I go along. I don't have to know what my purpose is anymore because I am living it everyday. Now instead of waiting until my purpose is revealed before I can do something, I know that by the act of doing, it is revealing itself. Funny that
That is interesting. That was somewhat my problem as well. After my kids got older and didn't need me so much anymore it really did a number on my head. What am I suppose to do now? I felt very lost and confused. Also sad. Those baby days were over. I gained like 20 pounds in 2 years, mostly drinking mom's glass - then bottle - of wine. I stopped the drinking and am trying to climb out of this hole. I am sorta scared because I don't know what the future brings, but I know it is brighter than before.14 -
easiest is if you have a partner going in it together with you, without support its really hard to start and keeping it.15
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oh my god... I will say checking myself out everyday in the mirror seeing my body tiny as ever and saying hot damn, im a chula mamacita
, also looking good in new clothes and stuff omg its so wounderfull but over all how you learn to be the best of you. 22 -
easiest is if you have a partner going in it together with you, without support its really hard to start and keeping it.
Perhaps that's true for some, but for me personally, that's not true. I have always been self-motivated so if I didn't get myself to do it, you can bet nobody else could. A partner can't keep you in it if you can't yourself - just look at all those couples of girls starting running together each spring for motivation and much more often than not, when one's gone, soon the other's gone too.
The only moral support you really need comes from loving and accepting yourself. (I know it's cheesy but that unforgettable scene in "Penelope" comes to mind ) 15 -
I still have 81 lbs to lose, but after losing 159 lbs here is what I've noticed...
- I have RA and losing the fat in my fingers now results in sores where my finger bones now stick out and rub against other fingers. It hurts! LOL
- Spending so much money on clothes as I'm losing is frustrating because I just want to save it for a new wardrobe when I hit my goal weight!
- Needing a new mattress because your before weight squished all the padding. Of course, with lots less fat as a cushion your body now feels every spring All. Night. Long.
- Whenever I'm out I always check out the bottom half of my body to see how I'm progressing as I don't have a full length mirror at home.
- The confidence you gain is amazing and turns you into someone new. Someone who smiles and wants to go out and meet new people or do new activities.
- You start taking pride again in how you present yourself. What clothes you wear, the way you do your hair, wearing make-up. And hey, you could even become a boot *kitten* like me. Suddenly I needed fashionable boots in different colors and styles when all I've worn for years are sneakers and flats. LOL
- I enjoy finding clothes now with my 'sense' of style. Mostly Victorian/Romantic Goth tops to go with my new boots! Haha25 -
2ledbetter wrote: »I'm helping with a remodel and there's no heat inside. I am also suffering from the extra cold syndrome so wear 2 pairs of pants, undershirt/long sleeve shirt/2 jackets. But amazing thing is don't feel like stuffed s
I have flannel-lined jeans for camping. They are great!
Guide Gear® Womens Flannel-lined Jeans
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kazaargrandcru wrote: »kazaargrandcru wrote: »For some reason now whenever I see a very overweight young woman I just want to burst into tears. Because I know how she feels inside. I want to help her but I can't. The truth is its a cruel world and for some reason it's still fair game to abuse fat people. It hurts like hell.
Me too, it's that feeling of helplessness that gets me. I try so hard not to pity them and look for their strengths instead because I just can't help but think that at one time people saw me like that and probably felt the same way. Even though I was overweight & out of shape, there was so much more to me than just that.
I don't know what I feel or why. Maybe I see myself in them? Basically I see someone who doesn't value herself and it is such a personal tragedy. This is all in my head of course. Maybe she is a very happy person.
I wish I had studied psychology in college. My life would probably be easier.
In my case that's exactly it, I see myself in them and remember how my life was. Even though I had a lot of happy times & things were generally good, some part of me was missing or lost somehow. The extra weight was just a reflection of that. It's like I was filling a hole in my soul with the temporary pleasure of eating. One day I just realized that I was craving a feeling of fulfillment in my life and that food and inactivity was not satisfying it and I had to start doing something to take things down a different path.
I think it stemmed from me not being sure of my life's purpose so I stagnated because I didn't know what I should be working towards and didn't want to waste my efforts working on something that was not my destiny.
I now realize that my destiny is whatever I happen to be doing at any given moment and I am actually creating it as I go along. I don't have to know what my purpose is anymore because I am living it everyday. Now instead of waiting until my purpose is revealed before I can do something, I know that by the act of doing, it is revealing itself. Funny that
That is interesting. That was somewhat my problem as well. After my kids got older and didn't need me so much anymore it really did a number on my head. What am I suppose to do now? I felt very lost and confused. Also sad. Those baby days were over. I gained like 20 pounds in 2 years, mostly drinking mom's glass - then bottle - of wine. I stopped the drinking and am trying to climb out of this hole. I am sorta scared because I don't know what the future brings, but I know it is brighter than before.
When we go through periods of adjustment it can derail us and I suppose that may be where that lost & confused feeling stems from. This will cause us to find coping mechanisms. I'm getting the lesson here, thanks for sharing!
As for the OP, here's mine:
Coping with increased attention from others has probably been my biggest adjustment. When I was younger & fit I liked getting noticed but after gaining weight and blending into the background for several years, I became introverted and kind of enjoyed the anonymity. I'm sure I'll get used to it over time, just like I got used to being ignored! lol14 -
SilverRose89 wrote: »I never really realised how much of an issue people can have when you say you are trying to lose some weight.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not making a big deal of it or telling everyone, but the fact that my routine has changed and I'm now occasionally busy at the gym on a Friday night instead of going to the pub and the fact that a couple of people have noticed a bit of a loss on me means that I've told a few people.
Nearly all of them have told me I don't need to lose any weight and that I'm just being silly. Especially friends who are bigger than me, sometimes from their response you'd think that I'd just called them a fatty and that they need to be at the gym instead of the pub. But I don't think this at all, I very much think that it comes down to your happiness and if you are happy, brilliant. I was not happy with my weight.
It's not like I don't look overweight either. I do. My BMI two months ago was 30.5. My waist measurement is 38". My hips 44"! My goal is only to get back into the 'healthy weight' range for my height. It is by no means extreme.
But yeah, sorry I rambled. I guess I just always thought that, because deciding to get on this journey can be so hard, people would be so much more supportive of it. Nobody told me that actually, not so much.
I carry my weight low, and I have a fairly narrow waist for someone of my weight, so I don't look overweight. 'But you look great, you don't need to lose weight' is becoming annoying as my BMI is still over 25, and I want to get to comfortably within the healthy range. It's like people think the *only* reason to lose weight is for vanity, and health risk isn't a thing to think about.
That said, when I told the nurse I used to be 86 kg she said "Wow. That's amazing, I can't imagine you at 86 kg". That felt pretty good! Plus she thought I was wise to lose weight now before I get any health issues. It's nice to have your plans vindicated by a medical professional.
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For some reason now whenever I see a very overweight young woman I just want to burst into tears. Because I know how she feels inside. I want to help her but I can't. The truth is its a cruel world and for some reason it's still fair game to abuse fat people. It hurts like hell.
Whenever I see an overweight person doing exercise (and often struggling, sadly) I want to go up to them and say "Good for you! Well done! You're doing great!" and other encouragement.
I don't though, because I don't want to sound patronising.....
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That while it's great to lose back fat and keep your boobs, it makes it hard to find bras.
That ppl will be inspired. They will look to you for advice.
Although all your friends and family might not be supportive, keep at it and they'll respect what you are doing. They might make a major change Bc of you.
Muscles. Oh the muscles. 13 -
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Bump-1
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Thank you @socalkay I'll look that up.0
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That you have to prioritise yourself to make this work. I have ignored chores and left work on time (when I could have easily stayed late) to squeeze in my daily workout. Because otherwise I will feel cheated, and I need to reinforce the good habits. And so far NO ONE HAS MINDED!11
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How much patience this takes. Some weeks your down then you go up a bit then down. Getting into the mindset is the hardest part14
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That sometimes when you push yourself hard on a workout, you can have "bladder issues" until your core gets stronger...8
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Nobody tells you about all the loose skin.10
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Sometimes the constipation is so bad you get cramps, the next day it is the opposite so you get cramps.11
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- You don't always gain confidence unless you had a significant amount of fat to lose.
- You might "love" how your bones feel, but you will soon learn how distorted that is.
- You may someday realize that no one notices/cares about your weight loss.16 -
- You don't always gain confidence unless you had a significant amount of fat to lose.
- You might "love" how your bones feel, but you will soon learn how distorted that is.
- You may someday realize that no one notices/cares about your weight loss.
This post is slightly disturbing in a sad way. Perhaps I am reading it wrong, but if you really have confidence issues that losing weight can't resolve, the word "bones" triggers something distorted beyon a healthy human body ( people at the top of healthy BMI also have ankles and wristbones showing) and want to make people care through weight loss... Then my heart goes out to you
but you should definitely seek help. Most people do not have all those experiences together, particularly #2. 30 -
-I hate how some people just assume that being healthy and going through a lifestyle change is easy. "Ya babe whatever, just go on a diet and you'll be fine later.."
-They don't understand the concept of meal prep saturdays
-My mattress is still comfortable, thankfully
-I buy way too many gym clothes
-I especially hate it when I'm out clubbing on my off day having a drink and someone says: aren't you on a diet? No, I'm eating better AND it's my off day. "I didn't know diets had days off" Grrrrr
-All the good food I eat makes my stomach make funny noises 18 -
The taste of junk food tastes like pure garbage... I always wonder nowadays why I thought it was the most delicious thing in the world?
Guilty confession: I will NEVER give up pizza but I will for sure not eat it on a weekly basis.
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The bad: that the boobs do not necessarily go down. I have lost 3 band sizes in my bras, but gone UP 2 cup sizes. It is getting really hard to find bras in my size any more.
The good: just now much mental health is tied into physical health. I have suffered from depression all of my adult life (some at a "normal" weight and some at my obese weight). This last year, as my physical self has made huge strides, my mental health has improved tremendously to where I cannot even pinpoint a bout with depression in the last 14 months.43 -
AshleyClark122 wrote: »wateryphoenix wrote: »-You will discover bones you forgot (or never knew) you had.
I just love the first sentence !! "You will discover bones you forgot (or never knew) you had." Awesome !! The same can be said for muscles also. You sure can discover ones you never knew you had, like "Why does it ache there? Is there a muscle there? I never knew that." Way to go wateryphoenix!!
So true... I was rubbing my arms the other day and touched something that ached when I put pressure on it. Turns out it's muscle I didn't even know I had!!3 -
I'm down a little over a fifth of the total I plan to lose.
I already find I get cold often. (Though, since I knit as a way to keep my hands busy, I don't mind: Just think of all the cute sweaters I'll get to make and wear...!)
The unexpected one is that my daughter commented on my fidgeting. I used to fidget all the time when I was in high school and college - I had totally forgotten about that!8
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