He's Proposing Soon- Guys advice?

agratzy
agratzy Posts: 114 Member
edited November 14 in Chit-Chat
Hello all!

So my boyfriend has told me he plans on proposing soon. "Soon" being a relative term. It's not something I've been pushing him to do or anything- he just said it's just getting to be the right time : ) And I completely agree. We're both at a great spot in our careers and love each other's family, etc. However, the more I think about it, the more I wonder how much planning he's had to put into it! Yesterday he told me, "well this has been months in the works..."
- Months?? Guys! How much planning did you put into your proposals? Was it big or small? What are some things I can be aware of/ do to make it easier for him to plan this giant thing by himself?
- Ladies! Did your SO's involve you? Were you surprised? If he picked the ring on his own, did he do a good job? Were you able to stay patient after you knew it was coming soon?

Thanks : )
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Replies

  • VeryKatie
    VeryKatie Posts: 5,961 Member
    edited March 2015
    Pft, my fiancé just carried the ring around until it was the right moment - I pretty much planned the date myself hahah. We also ring shopped together and I gave him 3 to choose from. I think there was some effort put in, but not months! (Don't get me wrong here though, it was perfect :D)

    Then there was my cousin, who planned a trip to Greece which included a hot air balloon ride and he proposed there. That was probably months.

    Depends on the guy as well as how efficient they are at planning stuff. My fiancé can't even get the addresses for his wedding guest to me even though I've extended the deadline twice... and he's only collecting some of them and letting his family do the rest (and they did and they're done well before him) hahaha.
  • 530roman
    530roman Posts: 1,819 Member
    I decided it was time to propose. Emptied my savings account at 19 years old (it was nothing impressive at the time), talked to her dad, and proposed within a month's time. It would have been sooner but I set up the proposal to be shone on the big screen at Turner Field during an Atlanta Braves game. Luckily she said yes :). I also had a build-a-bear made with my voice proposing as a backup in case they didn't show the message at the game.
    All that to say, it took a month but saving had already been done.
  • musclegood_fatbad
    musclegood_fatbad Posts: 9,809 Member
    I planned it all in a matter of two days. Didn't take me long but she also knew it was coming. It wasn't a huge proposal. I laid out one of her nicest dresses and put rose petals leading her to it with a note that said be ready in 30 minutes. I had a towncar pick her up and bring her to beautiful lookout over the mountains where I was on one knee waiting for her. My advice is to let him do the planning, you go along for the ride. You will have plenty of planning to do for the wedding. Congratulations (in advance).
  • BlueEyedRedhead
    BlueEyedRedhead Posts: 5,169 Member
    "Back in my day" (sounding old) the proposal was a personal moment between the two people. He got down on one knee, asked me to be his bride, and I said yes. Perfection.
  • LiquidSparkle86
    LiquidSparkle86 Posts: 736 Member
    No i wasnt involved or even aware. He asked me what i would say if he proposed (we had been dating 3 months at the time and i was 17). I was like "fool! No way! Im jn highscool and we just started dating!" 2 months later he propsed with a gorgeous ring and we're going in 13 yrs together this june and 9 yrs married this july! Im glad he picked out the engagement ring... Its his taste on my finger which to me what could be better then wearing something the one you love picked out all on his own just for you?!
  • agratzy
    agratzy Posts: 114 Member
    Im glad he picked out the engagement ring... Its his taste on my finger which to me what could be better then wearing something the one you love picked out all on his own just for you?!

    this!!! I've been engaged before (thankfully it didn't work out) and picked out my own ring. This time my boyfriend says that's not happening! And I am nervous but very excited and that is a great way to look at it! Thanks!!
  • LiquidSparkle86
    LiquidSparkle86 Posts: 736 Member
    agratzy wrote: »
    Im glad he picked out the engagement ring... Its his taste on my finger which to me what could be better then wearing something the one you love picked out all on his own just for you?!

    this!!! I've been engaged before (thankfully it didn't work out) and picked out my own ring. This time my boyfriend says that's not happening! And I am nervous but very excited and that is a great way to look at it! Thanks!!

    Congrats by the way and good luck! ;0) i never even had an idea of cut or style at that age so i was really happy with anything. And i still love it today because again his something he picked all on his own.
  • jodes023
    jodes023 Posts: 283 Member
    I'm excited for you! So the 1st time I was engaged- he took me to a park with zillions of ducks and where there's ducks there's duck dung! Soo his knee was covered in it...and my high heals. Then some guys drove by at same time and yelled "do her!" out the window. So not because of the proposal lol...but we later broke up and never married. This time, my sweetie had t-shirts made up with half a heart on each. Mine said 'yes' and his said 'will you marry me'...he wrapped mine and asked me to open it and then ripped his hoodie off to reveal his...lol, wee bit corny maybe but it was fun.
  • 1Hunie
    1Hunie Posts: 176
    Wow, he gave you a warning?
    I've been engaged twice (ringless now) and both times were shocking
  • 1Hunie
    1Hunie Posts: 176
    Congrats :D
  • TheRoadDog
    TheRoadDog Posts: 11,788 Member
    I asked my wife to marry me on our second date. I didn't have a ring. We were at a Mountain Lodge with my Cousin and his new bride. It was their honeymoon. I walked my wife to my Eurovan, popped the top, got down on one knee and proposed. She said Yes. I opened the fridge and pulled out a bottle of Champagne and poured us each a glass. We married 18 months later. We are currently planning a trip to Hawaii in 2017 to renew our vows for our 25th Anniversary. My life to a considerable turn for the better on the day I met her. I was a Massage Therapist at the time and she was referred to me for a back injury.
  • GDLAZ
    GDLAZ Posts: 3,784 Member
    edited March 2015
    I went to see my jeweler and said, "Harry, I'm thinking about getting married." He asked, "do you want me to sell you a ring or talk you out of it?" :smile: Anyhow, she had no idea. I took her out for a nice dinner, after we ate I got down on one knee, presented her the ring, and asked. She said yes. We had a big biker wedding, pig roast, and party. The rest is history.

    Oh ya, you asked for advice. If you want to, say yes. If you don't, say no. :smile:
  • CA_Underdog
    CA_Underdog Posts: 733 Member
    edited March 2015
    I've proposed twice. The first time we went ring shopping together, so "planning" was just about nil. The second time I probably spent 2-3 months learning about and finding the perfect diamond with amazing specs and shine on a limited budget--only the best. :)
  • LiquidSparkle86
    LiquidSparkle86 Posts: 736 Member
    TheRoadDog wrote: »
    I asked my wife to marry me on our second date. I didn't have a ring. We were at a Mountain Lodge with my Cousin and his new bride. It was their honeymoon. I walked my wife to my Eurovan, popped the top, got down on one knee and proposed. She said Yes. I opened the fridge and pulled out a bottle of Champagne and poured us each a glass. We married 18 months later. We are currently planning a trip to Hawaii in 2017 to renew our vows for our 25th Anniversary. My life to a considerable turn for the better on the day I met her. I was a Massage Therapist at the time and she was referred to me for a back injury.

    Love this! Congrats on the 25 yrs!!!!
  • MaxPower0102
    MaxPower0102 Posts: 2,654 Member
    I still go out to dinner with my ex a couple times a year. We have this moment where I ask her, in too loud a voice, if she would marry me, she yells back "hell no" and we laugh. Creates an awkward moment for everyone around us, but have a great laugh.
  • agratzy
    agratzy Posts: 114 Member
    I still go out to dinner with my ex a couple times a year. We have this moment where I ask her, in too loud a voice, if she would marry me, she yells back "hell no" and we laugh. Creates an awkward moment for everyone around us, but have a great laugh.

    this is like the best thing I've ever read.
  • Of_Monsters_and_Meat
    Of_Monsters_and_Meat Posts: 1,022 Member
    I had a ring in my possession for months. Actually my mother came over to clean my ex-termly cluttered apartment and found it, and was like WTF. Lets go though the steps.

    1) figure out you want to get married
    2) determine what you can afford then save up for it
    3) figure out some way to measure your finger size by being subtle
    4) get drunk thinking about the implications for the rest of your time on earth
    5) let your parents know whats up
    6) ask her father for permission to marry her and try not to sweat balls the entire time
    7) figure out the perfect way to propose
    8) get drunk again thinking about it
    9) actually do it.

    yeah, few months sounds reasonable to me
  • davesgalforever
    davesgalforever Posts: 220 Member
    My huband and I went to a comedy club for our first date. 4 years and 2 kids later we had a date to go to the comedy club again. I had no idea he was going to propose until he got up on the stage and proposed in front the packed club. I said yes of course! And he picked the perfect ring which I need to have sized because it's too big now. Anyway congrats and good luck to both of you :)
  • mistikal13
    mistikal13 Posts: 1,457 Member
    I ring shopped with my husband only because he asked me to and had no idea where to start lol. He bought the ring on his own a few months later and proposed one day on the beach while we were having a picnic =)
  • MommysLittleMeatball
    MommysLittleMeatball Posts: 2,064 Member
    My guy and I had a few casual discussions about marriage. He would be like, "What if we got married?" and I would say something like, "That wouldn't be so terrible." haha The proposal wasn't a big grand gesture or a big planned surprise, but I think it's a good story and totally us. Make me laugh every time I think about it.

    We were only dating like 6 months. We knew each other from high school, we had 1 class together freshman year, we were sat next to each other, we weren't in the same circle of friends, but we would always manage to run into each other even after HS and even after I moved 3,000 miles away from our hometown. How we even started dating is a whole other story, anyway, cut to 6 months of dating, he's mentioned marriage a few times and I would joke about him "putting a ring on it" - he once sent me a plastic dress-up ring, well, he ends up getting orders he is deploying to Iraq, I put all my stuff in storage, quit my job, cut my lease to my apartment in downtown San Francisco and moved to Florida to be with him until he leaves. One day we are with his older sister and she asks us if we are going to get married - Max and I just stared at eachother and "uuuuhhh, ummm, maybe...".

    One day he went to the PX to pick up his Class A's and he sent me a picture of a ring he saw in the counter and asked if I liked it. I said it was pretty. When he got home I was on the computer and sitting in a rolly-chair, he put his Class A's on the bed across the room and started putting his ribbons on it, so I rolled the chair around and continued my work. A few minutes later he said, "Do you like it?" I turned swiveled the chair around and he was on his knee with a ring box. I wasn't expecting it, I thought he was going to show me the ribbons on his jacket. I got up and walked over to him, he was still across the room. I stood there and said, "I think you are supposed to ask me another question." He then said, "Can I get up? My knee hurts." I laughed and said, "Yes!"
    We will be married 6 years in April.
  • down_ell_beez
    down_ell_beez Posts: 23 Member
    It took me about 2 months to find the right diamond and then custom design plus have the ring made. Most of the time was spent researching how diamonds are graded, then searching around local shops for a trust worthy dealer. I did all of that in secrecy because I wanted it to be a surprise. We had been dating for a little over two years and I knew she was ready.

    Once I got the ring, it was burning a hole in my pocket! I gave it to her within 3 days of getting it.
  • fattofit_fritch26
    fattofit_fritch26 Posts: 131 Member
    edited March 2015
    My husband picked the ring all on his own and did an amazing job! I't simple, classic, and beyond gorgeous. It's nothing I had ever thought about when looking through magazines and watching movies (as we all do), but the minute he gives it to you it's absolutely perfect. It could be twine with a pebble tied in and you'll love it, it's just a bonus when it's shiny.

    Our proposal was a little nontraditional when it comes to timing. We had started planning our wedding before the proposal since he was stationed overseas and we didn't know when we would see each other before his station change this past fall. We knew within 2 weeks of knowing each other that we were soul mates, and had always planned our life together. When he switched duty stations and I was done with college I was going where ever he was. My senior year of college he surprised me with a trip to Okinawa to see him during my spring break. On the first day I was there he put together a picnic and proposed on the beach outside of Camp Schwab. I knew it was coming during the trip, and we had already set a wedding date, but he didn't want me to not have the proposal. He even called to ask for my parents permission over Skype, which meant a lot to me. It was perfect and we got to spend a whole week together before I had to leave.

    Congratulations! Enjoy every minute of it!
  • PMA150
    PMA150 Posts: 43 Member
    I don't thrive on spontaneity, I plan everything. I picked out the ring I wanted, he went back and got it later. The actual date of the proposal was a surprise. Looking back it would have been awesome for him to pick out the ring and the whole thing be a surprise to me. That's what I get for being a control freak :neutral_face:
  • TFG_em
    TFG_em Posts: 174 Member
    I was never more surprised than when he proposed. I had no idea. We had talked about marriage, but it was nothing i expected to happen anytime soon (even though we had been dating for 3 years). He picked the ring himself (with some help from family) and kept it very simple. He got down on one knee at the train station where we met.
  • agratzy
    agratzy Posts: 114 Member
    These stories are so great! And every single one, unique. Thanks everyone for your thoughts and experiences! They're making my eyes water/ cracking me up haha.
  • KMasz
    KMasz Posts: 2,732 Member
    agratzy wrote: »
    These stories are so great! And every single one, unique. Thanks everyone for your thoughts and experiences! They're making my eyes water/ cracking me up haha.

    They are some pretty great stories! I have never been proposed to but when it eventually happens I want no part in it. I don't want to pick out the ring (I've never even gone into a jeweler or browsed through a magazine). I don't want to know when it's going to happen. I don't want to know where it's going to happen. I don't want to know how it's going to happen. I'm not going to pressure my boyfriend into it either, when/if he's ready I'm sure I'll be ready.

    Congrats on the soon-to-be engagement!
  • agratzy
    agratzy Posts: 114 Member
    edited March 2015
    KMasz wrote: »
    agratzy wrote: »
    These stories are so great! And every single one, unique. Thanks everyone for your thoughts and experiences! They're making my eyes water/ cracking me up haha.

    They are some pretty great stories! I have never been proposed to but when it eventually happens I want no part in it. I don't want to pick out the ring (I've never even gone into a jeweler or browsed through a magazine). I don't want to know when it's going to happen. I don't want to know where it's going to happen. I don't want to know how it's going to happen. I'm not going to pressure my boyfriend into it either, when/if he's ready I'm sure I'll be ready.

    Congrats on the soon-to-be engagement!

    Thanks!
    The first time around I was pretty pushy, I demanded a big ring, and I basically planned the whole thing. No wonder it didn't work! It was a rough relationship for sure-- just very immature. You have the right attitude! It's so much more fun not knowing everything :smiley:
  • agratzy
    agratzy Posts: 114 Member
    Are you really going to marry at 22 years old?

    Well I'm assuming it will be closer to 23 when I do, and he will be 26, so yes I consider that an appropriate age. Obviously everyone is a little different!
  • ItsMeGee3
    ItsMeGee3 Posts: 13,254 Member
    My son just showed me the ring he bought his gf today. He plans on proposing the end of this month (their dating anniversary). They have been dating for 4 years. They are going to a really nice winery for dinner but, he needs a good plan. Open for suggestions.
  • agratzy
    agratzy Posts: 114 Member
    edited March 2015
    Get a personalized label that has the date on it? Or that says, "Will you marry me?" That'd be such a cool keepsake!!
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