Discouraged by MFP

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Replies

  • Liftng4Lis
    Liftng4Lis Posts: 15,151 Member
    Seriously, THAT is enough to discourage you?
  • AbsoluteTara79
    AbsoluteTara79 Posts: 266 Member
    Next time have a snack.
  • rayw89
    rayw89 Posts: 564 Member
    To everyone calling me judgemental for "judging' the judgers: From all the posts I've read where someone asks a question, and then get bombarded with negativity, I'd say the majority of people here would rather not have that kind of reply. Of course, I am only speaking for the people who I've seen be upset by this. Everyone who wants to be talked down to, or made fun of, if that's what gets you pumped, then more power to you.

    The most ridiculous thing I see on here is people thinking they'll reflect the word "judgement" back on to the person saying "stop judging".
  • Alluminati
    Alluminati Posts: 6,208 Member
    rabbitjb wrote: »
    Meh! you know what, I'm getting so bored of the sycophantic "meanie" posts round here, they actually turn my stomach a little.

    Since the day I started here I've enjoyed the straight-forward adult advice from a wide number of posters here. :

    There's a difference between being straight-forward and being negative. I didn't read through the entire thread to see if you fall into either category. I'm merely responding to your last comment made.
    rabbitjb wrote: »
    I have enough people in real life to sympathise, empathise and tell me everything is fine.

    Not everyone has enough people in real life.
    rabbitjb wrote: »
    It might be a cultural difference ...we don't do cheerleading so much, but I find that's also true of other nations and vast swathes of the US

    *hoiks up judgey-pants* but hell, at least I know I'm wearing them :huh:

    I'm from Jersey (specifically the suburbs outside New York City), where almost EVERYONE is straight-forward and tells it like it is. Again, there is a HUGE difference in being honest and being an as*. Again, I haven't read the whole thread to see which category you fit into, just responding to your comments.

    Bottom line, OP was clearly feeling discouraged and reached out to a people in a forum for encouragement. If you (general YOU... not calling YOU out rabbitjb) didn't want to offer encouragement, then cool, but you (general YOU) didn't have to offer DIScouragement either, or make her feel worse than she already did.
    I found your post highly negative.
  • anniebelle26
    anniebelle26 Posts: 43 Member
    Its just a tool to use to help you on your journey..it was nothing personal!
  • Alluminati
    Alluminati Posts: 6,208 Member
    sjrutherf wrote: »
    This is my third day on MFP.

    I have officially been chastised, in red letters, by MFP. I didn't eat enough calories yesterday. I understand they want you to be healthy. I would understand if this was a common occurrence or something, but trust me this is rare for me! I wasn't hungry most of the day and I took advantage of it. Before starting this journey, I would probably eat a zillion calories a day. Ok, maybe not a zillion, but A LOT.

    Yesterday I made such healthy decisions! I found time to take three walks during my work day! I work at a desk, so this is often hard for me to fit in. I also joined my friends and went to a casual volleyball league that I had been avoiding. I didn't eat the cake or cookies that were laid out at work. I didn't go out with my friends for ice cream after volleyball. I was so proud of myself! I was excited to complete my entry for the day. And then all I saw was red text and MFP telling me to make additional entries. I almost went out and ate the entire kitchen.

    I was no longer proud.
    I was no longer excited.
    I just wanted to give up.

    I went from being all pumped up to finally try and change things to feeling like a failure 2 days in.

    First of all, welcome to MFP! I've stated this before: people here can be mean, and will readily focus on the negative - no, wait, i'm sorry - "tough love" they call it? - rather than on encouragement. People so quickly forget they were the ones feeling the same things not too long ago once they shed some weight/gain some muscle, log 1K posts, and now they're fitness and diet experts. SMDH

    Mixed in with all the bullsh*t above is some decent advice, so please filter through the negativity to find the encouragement... there isn't a lot I can say that someone hasn't already said.

    When I'm feeling discouraged, I talk to boyfriend who also happens to be my training partner. I know a lot of people don't have the luxury of having someone around them constantly who is going through the same thing and understands wanting to give up, so if you ever feel discouraged again, feel free to message me directly. And also, IMHO, I'd never start a thread on the forums unless it's asking consumer reviews about a non-consumable product... such as shoes, gloves, etc. I find it's worked out better for me that way.
    You seem angry.
  • ndj1979
    ndj1979 Posts: 29,136 Member
    rayw89 wrote: »
    To everyone calling me judgemental for "judging' the judgers: From all the posts I've read where someone asks a question, and then get bombarded with negativity, I'd say the majority of people here would rather not have that kind of reply. Of course, I am only speaking for the people who I've seen be upset by this. Everyone who wants to be talked down to, or made fun of, if that's what gets you pumped, then more power to you.

    The most ridiculous thing I see on here is people thinking they'll reflect the word "judgement" back on to the person saying "stop judging".

    wait, aren't you judging people right now?

    who made you the alpha judge?????
  • ndj1979
    ndj1979 Posts: 29,136 Member
    edited March 2015
    Is OP really that mad at MFP ..??

    anyone got cliffs????
  • rayw89
    rayw89 Posts: 564 Member
    First of all, welcome to MFP! I've stated this before: people here can be mean, and will readily focus on the negative - no, wait, i'm sorry - "tough love" they call it? - rather than on encouragement. People so quickly forget they were the ones feeling the same things not too long ago once they shed some weight/gain some muscle, log 1K posts, and now they're fitness and diet experts. SMDH

    Mixed in with all the bullsh*t above is some decent advice, so please filter through the negativity to find the encouragement... there isn't a lot I can say that someone hasn't already said.

    When I'm feeling discouraged, I talk to boyfriend who also happens to be my training partner. I know a lot of people don't have the luxury of having someone around them constantly who is going through the same thing and understands wanting to give up, so if you ever feel discouraged again, feel free to message me directly. And also, IMHO, I'd never start a thread on the forums unless it's asking consumer reviews about a non-consumable product... such as shoes, gloves, etc. I find it's worked out better for me that way.
    rabbitjb wrote: »
    Meh! you know what, I'm getting so bored of the sycophantic "meanie" posts round here, they actually turn my stomach a little.

    Since the day I started here I've enjoyed the straight-forward adult advice from a wide number of posters here. :

    There's a difference between being straight-forward and being negative. I didn't read through the entire thread to see if you fall into either category. I'm merely responding to your last comment made.
    rabbitjb wrote: »
    I have enough people in real life to sympathise, empathise and tell me everything is fine.

    Not everyone has enough people in real life.
    rabbitjb wrote: »
    It might be a cultural difference ...we don't do cheerleading so much, but I find that's also true of other nations and vast swathes of the US

    *hoiks up judgey-pants* but hell, at least I know I'm wearing them :huh:

    I'm from Jersey (specifically the suburbs outside New York City), where almost EVERYONE is straight-forward and tells it like it is. Again, there is a HUGE difference in being honest and being an as*. Again, I haven't read the whole thread to see which category you fit into, just responding to your comments.

    Bottom line, OP was clearly feeling discouraged and reached out to a people in a forum for encouragement. If you (general YOU... not calling YOU out rabbitjb) didn't want to offer encouragement, then cool, but you (general YOU) didn't have to offer DIScouragement either, or make her feel worse than she already did.

  • malibu927
    malibu927 Posts: 17,562 Member
    Honestly, the first couple weeks of counting calories are quite a learning experience. MFP just wants to make sure you're doing this in a healthy way, and eating such a low number, for the majority of people, is not that. Yes, that ensures you're losing weight, but if you stick to that amount it can cause health problems down the road.

    I hope you're still around for day 4 and aren't letting any other messages get you down.
  • stopdropandstay
    stopdropandstay Posts: 16 Member
    Wow, there are lots of people on here who are extremely insensitive. I think some people just can't grasp the fact that health/weightloss is a different journey for everyone. For me, it is an extremely emotional one, and for someone to just tell me to "suck it up" and to "stop making excuses" for myself would only hurt my process and trigger me into unhealthy eating habits again. This is so much more than just a "you get what you put in" situation. This misconception that people have is the reason why society has such little tolerance for people of different/extreme body shapes. I'm honestly ashamed to see such negativity, and this only adds to the list of reasons of why I don't frequent the forums here.

    Anyhow, dearest OP, I am so proud of you! I know those numbers can be discouraging, but it's amazing that you were able to get yourself to feel that way. Health is so amazing, and I'm glad you found a moment of that. Just keep on trying the best that you can. I know there will be days when you want to cry and give up, but just trust me on this - this is not something worth giving up that amazing feeling for. I definitely believe in you, so you go on doing your own thing, and don't let anyone or anything ever get you down, because your process is your own - nothing can or should take that away from you! <3
  • Nony_Mouse
    Nony_Mouse Posts: 5,646 Member
    edited March 2015
    ndj1979 wrote: »
    Is OP really that mad at MFP ..??

    anyone got cliffs????

    1) hard to know if OP is really mad, she hasn't come back

    2) usual MFP meanies stuff

    3) several people seem to think it's great to get the warning that they're eating too little (as in, they're happy they're under-eating, not 'opps thanks for the warning, I'll go eat something), and get it all the time

    I think the first time I got that warning I was all 'WTF??' and then 'hey, that's a really good feature' (and went and had some more to eat). First time I got the red at the other end I was also miffed, then reminded myself that I was the one that put the food in my mouth, not the app.
  • AdventureFreak
    AdventureFreak Posts: 236 Member
    sadness flows over me.
  • librarydebster
    librarydebster Posts: 177 Member
    You made some great choices, and you dropped some bad habits, so continue to feel good about yourself and stay confident. You are the boss, so if you are getting good results, then you will succeed. MFP is an aid and hopefully you will find more positive features about it, and use it in tandem with whatever else works for you. It's one of the accountability tools I lean on.
  • LoveMyBabes3
    LoveMyBabes3 Posts: 53 Member
    Don't log your exercise.
  • Nony_Mouse
    Nony_Mouse Posts: 5,646 Member
    Don't log your exercise.

    Please don't encourage people to under eat. Also, MFP doesn't take exercise into account with that warning, so her net intake would have been well below the cut off.
  • Unknown
    edited March 2015
    This content has been removed.
  • pinksyringes
    pinksyringes Posts: 21 Member
    It is only day 3. Keep it up!
  • This content has been removed.
  • jennifer_417
    jennifer_417 Posts: 12,344 Member
    This is going to sound mean, but please understand that I'm not being mean.

    OP, you're overreacting. You may want to spend some time thinking about why this bothered you so much. Otherwise, you're not likely to make it through this process.
  • blankiefinder
    blankiefinder Posts: 3,599 Member
    To the OP and any new MFP'ers just starting on their journey, keep in mind when you see that message, that most people are eating more than they think, and burning less. For example, the poster who complained that it keeps telling her what she will weigh in 5 weeks, but hasn't hit that weight after 8 weeks, if you're not losing at the rate you think you should be, based on your daily deficits, you need to analyze your logging.

    Either you want this enough to deal with things like getting an automated message, or you don't. Take control of your journey, and seize the opportunity to learn.
  • Sued0nim
    Sued0nim Posts: 17,456 Member
    To the OP and any new MFP'ers just starting on their journey, keep in mind when you see that message, that most people are eating more than they think, and burning less. For example, the poster who complained that it keeps telling her what she will weigh in 5 weeks, but hasn't hit that weight after 8 weeks, if you're not losing at the rate you think you should be, based on your daily deficits, you need to analyze your logging.

    Either you want this enough to deal with things like getting an automated message, or you don't. Take control of your journey, and seize the opportunity to learn.

    I like you

    you and your little dog too

    mwahahahahahahhhhhaaaa

    (oh dear I seem to have come over all Wizard of Oz for a moment there :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes: )
  • Ms_LisaKay
    Ms_LisaKay Posts: 103 Member
    OP, I (like a poster on page 1) quit hitting the "complete this entry" button. I know people here will call it a weak excuse (or whatever "truth" they are "bluntly" writing), but even algorithmically programmed feedback is feedback to me. At the beginning, I was logging my exercise and MFP overstates calories burned like CRAZY. I didn't know that. Plus, I was restricting under the 1200 consistently or netting under it. I have bummer news for you: on the 1200 cal plan, you will see red either way on this site. You either see it at the top of the diary (-53 calories! You went over goal!) or you will see it when you click the "complete" button.

    The other thing I did was up my cal goal to 1400 manually. That way, when I have a 1253 cal day, there is no red. (Eventually, I have "gotten over" red calories, so dropped it back to 1200, but I had to fix it in my mind that 1400 cals was -still- in deficit, so MFP could red me on cals all it wanted.)

    I know many are saying that people like you and I are giving font color way too much power in our lives, and maybe they are right. In my mind, that color is chosen as a feedback color for negative markers on this site SPECIFICALLY because it has an emotional connection for many people. It means "BAD! STOP DOING THIS!" For the record, I -do- stop at red lights and red stop signs, because they mean STOP. I just go again when I have assessed the situation and can make a safe decision...or when things go green again.

    Keep on with your plan and learn & reassess as you go.
  • blossomingbutterfly
    blossomingbutterfly Posts: 743 Member
    I think everyone seems to have this covered here...
  • killerqueen21
    killerqueen21 Posts: 157 Member
    If it bothers you, eat more
  • acorsaut89
    acorsaut89 Posts: 1,147 Member
    sjrutherf wrote: »
    This is my third day on MFP.

    I have officially been chastised, in red letters, by MFP. I didn't eat enough calories yesterday. I understand they want you to be healthy. I would understand if this was a common occurrence or something, but trust me this is rare for me! I wasn't hungry most of the day and I took advantage of it. Before starting this journey, I would probably eat a zillion calories a day. Ok, maybe not a zillion, but A LOT.

    Yesterday I made such healthy decisions! I found time to take three walks during my work day! I work at a desk, so this is often hard for me to fit in. I also joined my friends and went to a casual volleyball league that I had been avoiding. I didn't eat the cake or cookies that were laid out at work. I didn't go out with my friends for ice cream after volleyball. I was so proud of myself! I was excited to complete my entry for the day. And then all I saw was red text and MFP telling me to make additional entries. I almost went out and ate the entire kitchen.

    I was no longer proud.
    I was no longer excited.
    I just wanted to give up.

    I went from being all pumped up to finally try and change things to feeling like a failure 2 days in.

    If a bunch of red letters discourages you - what are you doing? Like really?

    I'm a runner and I'm terrified of running my first outdoor race this year, like with all the people there watching me. I run at the gym. I push myself until I can't breathe anymore. After my long run last week my tendinitis was acting up so bad I was on a heating pad for about 18 hours to loosen it up. I was crying. I have had mornings at the gym where I couldn't get to my goal, I had to stop the treadmill because I couldn't breathe and I couldn't push any harder. I cried at the gym.

    I have lost 90lbs on my journey so far. I have had people look at me weird in the New Balance store when I am talking to the sales person about what's best for my foot shape when I'm running - they look at me like, you're a runner? Yes, at 5'10 and 250lbs I am a runner. I wear compression pants and it sucks me all in and I run, and I love it.

    I have been at this since late 2012. It's been 2.5 years. You have to want this. And a bunch of little red numbers shouldn't discourage you in any way. If I over eat (and it does happen!) MFP tells me if every day were like today in 5 weeks I'd gain like 5 lbs or something. Does that bother me? No. Do I feel like I'm quitting? No. Do I feel like it was all pointless? No. I feel like it was one day and damn I enjoyed that ice cream or cheeseburger or fries or whatever and I'll do it again another day. Not tomorrow, and probably not another day this week, but some day I will over eat again. And I will enjoy it.

    Stop making excuses for why you feel like you're giving up because you were "yelled" at by a website. If you want it, you'll do it. If you don't, you'll find excuses. You have to want this for yourself. You have to want to do it, every single day. It's not like eat "good" for a bit, lose the weight and then everything goes back to how it was. If you think this is kind of something you maybe sort of thought you might want to do for the "future" then you're in this for the wrong reason.

    Want it and do it, or don't. It's that simple.
  • jofjltncb6
    jofjltncb6 Posts: 34,415 Member
    To the OP and any new MFP'ers just starting on their journey, keep in mind when you see that message, that most people are eating more than they think, and burning less. For example, the poster who complained that it keeps telling her what she will weigh in 5 weeks, but hasn't hit that weight after 8 weeks, if you're not losing at the rate you think you should be, based on your daily deficits, you need to analyze your logging.

    Either you want this enough to deal with things like getting an automated message, or you don't. Take control of your journey, and seize the opportunity to learn.

    My "in 5 weeks" number has been off for the 3+ years I've been logging...because MFP doesn't accurately estimate my activity level. However, my own analysis of the data with an adjusted "without exercise TDEE" supports the accuracy of my logging, so it doesn't bother me at all.

    TL;DR - a bad "in 5 weeks" number doesn't necessarily indicate an error in logging.
  • MommysLittleMeatball
    MommysLittleMeatball Posts: 2,064 Member
    This is only a color. MFP is only a tool. You only fail if you don't face your real issue and keep trying. Giving up so quickly because of something mundane is the problem, not MFP warning you about not eating enough. I would be thankful to see red letters - a reminder I should eat more, a reminder to look at my macros and see if I am lacking on a nutritional front. Change the prospective and not jump to blame.

    Also, can all the mean-people-bandwagoners people read this post, please and thank you: http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10105396/to-all-the-mfp-meanies-and-know-it-alls-this-is-for-you/p1

    Dude, my eyes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    eyes.gif
  • ScorpioJack_91
    ScorpioJack_91 Posts: 5,241 Member
    Don't give up!
  • auddii
    auddii Posts: 15,357 Member
    jofjltncb6 wrote: »
    To the OP and any new MFP'ers just starting on their journey, keep in mind when you see that message, that most people are eating more than they think, and burning less. For example, the poster who complained that it keeps telling her what she will weigh in 5 weeks, but hasn't hit that weight after 8 weeks, if you're not losing at the rate you think you should be, based on your daily deficits, you need to analyze your logging.

    Either you want this enough to deal with things like getting an automated message, or you don't. Take control of your journey, and seize the opportunity to learn.

    My "in 5 weeks" number has been off for the 3+ years I've been logging...because MFP doesn't accurately estimate my activity level. However, my own analysis of the data with an adjusted "without exercise TDEE" supports the accuracy of my logging, so it doesn't bother me at all.

    TL;DR - a bad "in 5 weeks" number doesn't necessarily indicate an error in logging.
    I never close my diary, so I decided to last night just to see, and it told me I'd gain two pounds...

    And then 9000 people liked it and I got emails, and then I remembered why I never completed my diary.