A short rant about many of the posts I have been seeing here. May come off as harsh but must be said

joejward95 wrote: »

ditsyblond, you manage to say a lot without really saying anything don't you. I am not making a personal attack on you. If you're saying I am misunderstanding something then please educate me instead of just making empty statements

I don't disagree that excuses are a bunch of bull. At the end of the day, calories in vs. Calories out. What you don't understand is That science proves third shifters have a hard time losing weight. Hypothyroidism? Effing HARD to deal with. TRUST ME. And hormonal imbalance? I've got that too. Instead of "helping" others by giving a HUGE, (rude) blanket statement about how people need to "Just grow the hell up", maybe offer some helpful insight since you've been there. Or if you choose not to, at least don't make others feel like they aren't allowed to use this free public forum as a way to vent and get help. Thanks

It is just that we all remember being 19. Ah, youth. I wish my body reacted like it did when I was in my 20s. I wish I only had the worries that I had in college. Do me a favor, print out this post, put it away to read when you are 40. You will have fond memories of youth as well.

I get why some people can be put off by this, BUT it honestly should be empowering. OP is saying that YOU have the agency to do it. You and ONLY you. It's your body, your life. Everyone has hurdles, and while they may not all be equal, everyone faces problems with being fit. Just because someone's young doesn't mean that they don't have experience (at least in this particular area). Obesity and diseases don't discriminate, after all.

I've coddled many friends and sugar coated things and for a small percentage, it's the only way to guide them. I'm a big advocate for body positivity and loving yourself, but I'm also a big advocate of always trying to improve yourself both physically and mentally.

I've seen posts where people ask for advice and shoot down pretty much all the advice except for the one they already agreed with.

I've seen people rely on the 'genetic' or 'medical issues' excuse countless times. Yes, it makes it hard for some people to lose weight, but it's not impossible and repeatedly saying that 'it's genetics' or 'I really can't lose weight' is a self-defeating attitude that won't improve anything.

Some people can be guided and coddled until they find out what works for them on their own; a lot of people need to be bluntly told that they have the control.

You can't always control where you work, how your relationships are, how much money you have, etc. --but out of all those things, one of the things you have more control over is how healthy you are.

I just think you get further by understanding the people you are trying to help and appreciating their point of view. They may indeed be maing excuses, theywledge. I find if im supporting someone low on confidence, then tough love is not always the way i support them , but instead give them constructive advice on how they cna make small amoints of progress, which they then build on. not everyone responds to your tough love. there is a limit to tea and sumpathy and being in denial, but the challenge is to get them to see it your way and it being in their interests. Listening normally helps.

Look back at your posts in 5/10 years time and youll realise what a difference age makes and you will cringe. It happens to us all.

Oh to be so young again. Re-post this in 20 years and let's see where you are.

some good points.

Let's see...

You lost weight. Congrats!
So what are you saying?

You read some posts on why people struggle with weight loss and since you are an expert now (and in Uni!) the single answer is grow the eff up and laws of physics. right?

People that log but have difficulty losing weight are deluded or stupid or liars. Right?

Inspiration is useless. If you lack self control you deserve to be fat. (The thinly veiled fat people are lazy idea). Right?

Plus you are an expert on depression.

Oh, boy.

Joe, although I understand your point that you and you alone are responsible for your weightloss, it sometimes really isn't that simple.

You're at uni, okay. I work more than 60 hours a week, work extra as a freelancer, am responsible for an entire household, cook all my meals pure and homemade an try to hit the gym at least once a week. My days start at 6am and last till 22pm every single day with stuff that need to be done. And I don't even have a tv or whatever that could take away time.

I lost a baby a year ago and due to hormones etc, my body was completely *kitten*, which makes it really hard to lose weight, not even mentioning what it does emotionally/mentally.

I get your post, really. But sometimes it just doesn't work out like you stated it could.
Just realise that you might tear down people who really put in an effort..

OP, I think that one of the reasons you are getting so much strife from other users is due to your bluntness in your first post.

Yes, you've lost some weight. That's great! But the problem is there's so many different reasons why people don't lose weight. Some are controllable, yes. Some are not, as others have mentioned. Consider who are asking the questions that you've quoted in your first post. I'd say that many of those who ask those questions are new to the whole weight loss thing, and because there are many weight loss misconceptions, I think it makes sense that they would have these questions.

You'll get users who will listen to your advice, and you'll get others who will have to experience lots of trial and error on their own before it finally clicks.

But you're the one who made the post, and maybe others are feeling it's not your place (or, anyone else's, really) to be giving that kind of harsh speech.

From,
A person of your age

Also, it was kinda nice that you tried. And I'm sure you will get through to some people (it seems the person who pm'ed you was motivated) but your post was bound to get this reaction because some people just don't respond to that kind of speech

joolsmd wrote: »

joejward95 wrote: »

It may be harsh but there are plenty of people here willing to tell everyone "its all okay, you're perfect" and not enough people willing to state a cold hard truth every once in a while.

There are actually many, many people who are willing to do this.

I think there are people, often new dieters or people who find it difficult that feel supportive, but many of the posters on these forums time and again answers peoples posts in a constructive way, but are still able to tell them how it is.

You must be blind if you havent seens those responses. You just dont appreciate the variety of people out there, they arent all like you and not everyone can deal with weight loss in the way you have.

joejward95 wrote: »

I do find it very odd that so many people are focusing on my age as to why I am apparently incorrect. If I am so blatantly incorrect why are you not pointing out what I have said wrong? By focusing on my age you are really not saying anything with factual basis.

Many of you also seem to ignore that I have stated this post is not aimed towards that many of you. It is a very small minority that this is targeted to, so obviously it wont apply to most of you.

Also,you have no idea what my life experiences are? You have no idea how had I may of had to work to be in the position I am in life right now do you?

I'll give you a hint. I have had a very tough life. Tougher than I bet most of you had during your youth. That is as much detail as I want to go into, but I find it very rude to just discredit someone due to their age. It comes off as very immature.

Having had a tough early life doesn't provide some exceptional knowledge set on how weight loss or personal motivation works for all people. In fact, having survived that, it has a tendency to decrease someone's empathy for others that struggle through different problems. It may result in a "I survived this, your struggle isn't that big" mentality.

Work on your empathy skills. Or read the Little Prince. Understanding that someone's difficulty is real because it is their own and the results are staring you in the face will go a long way to support the valid knowledge you might bring.

If anything, your youth and lack of experience, lack of empathy and possible lack of coming in contact with a larger variety of people is what is being highlighted with those comments. The general rantingness of your post, just highlights the need to grow the eff up. (That might seem harsh but take it as advice.)

People here struggle with many different parameters such as nutrition education, time, consistency, injury and physical/mental health issues. A monolithic approach like yours is mostly likely to grate than help. If you were mature enough to know that, you'd approached this differently.