A short rant about many of the posts I have been seeing here. May come off as harsh but must be said
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joejward95 wrote: »I do find it very odd that so many people are focusing on my age as to why I am apparently incorrect. If I am so blatantly incorrect why are you not pointing out what I have said wrong? By focusing on my age you are really not saying anything with factual basis.
Many of you also seem to ignore that I have stated this post is not aimed towards that many of you. It is a very small minority that this is targeted to, so obviously it wont apply to most of you.
Also,you have no idea what my life experiences are? You have no idea how had I may of had to work to be in the position I am in life right now do you?
I'll give you a hint. I have had a very tough life. Tougher than I bet most of you had during your youth. That is as much detail as I want to go into, but I find it very rude to just discredit someone due to their age. It comes off as very immature.
Where I do agree, people often make excuses for the lack of loss, when bottom line is it's usually poor logging, I don't agree with the fact that you're painting with such a broad brush. You are failing to consider real life in weight loss. Personally, I wake up daily at 3 a.m. so I can get a workout in prior to being a full time single mom of a teenager. After a full, busy day with patients, I have to rush through 45 minutes of traffic to get home in time to get her to her extracurricular, or extended curriculum activities. We get home usually around 8 p.m., in time for me to cook while she does homework, so we can do it again in less than 7 hours.
This is not even considering the daily stress of things like how I'm going to afford my new roof, or a wow, new clothes are needed soon.
Things like stress, lack of sleep and hormones DO affect weight loss. The reality is, is that I am uber retentive with logging, I do exercise and it is NOT as easy as it was when I was younger.
As aforementioned, talk to me in 20 years.0 -
joejward95 wrote: »As said in the title.This post IS going to come off as harsh, and rude and probably quite bigoted to some of you. But this needs to be said because otherwise a load of you are NOT going to make it, and I hate seeing people not fulfill their maximum potential, this is also NOT aimed at all(or even many)of you, but a specific group of people.
I should also say that in September I was 260 lbs and a hair below 6'1, lazy 18 year old kid, making excuses left right and center as to why I was overweight . Since then I am now down to 180lbs. Regularly compete in bouldering tournaments and am doing a marathon in June. So I was in the position that some of you are in now. Since then, I have grown the hell up and taken responsibility like an adult.
Okay, so recently I have been seeing a ton of posts about people making excuses as to why the can't lose weight .I've heard it all in only the last week!
"But I have an under active Thyroid!"
"My Carb cycle is off"(whatever the hell that is supposed to mean)
"I'm sleeping at the wrong times!"
"I'm eating healthily and not losing"
The list goes on and on and on.... endlessly. Its getting tiresome commenting to these people to tell them what they're doing wrong.
Weight loss is 90% diet, and of that it is 100% about the calories you eat vs the calories out.If you plan on complaining on here about not losing weight, first try taking 250 calories off what you're eating, because if you're gaining or maintaining when you want to lose weight I guarantee you are eating too much. I don't care about your excuses, you are eating too much.Eat less and you will lose weight, you're not some special snowflake who can overcome the laws of physics. Its just not going to happen. If its been 2 months and you claim you've been eating a deficit and not lost any weight they you're either deluded, dont know how to use a scale or a liar. It is as simple as that.
Another thing that I have noticed is people asking for motivation. First of all let me preface, I am not talking about the posts of people asking for weight loss/exercise buddies, that is fine.It can be nice to have a bit of motivation with someone to lose with, but it is NOT required. The fact is, you're a grown adult. At the end of the day, it is down to you to do it. if you're sitting here saying you're not losing because you're not motivated then deal with it. Speak to a doctor to see if you need medical help(I suffered from depression for years but I did the adult thing and got treated). If you want to lose weight and get in better shape it is only down to you. If no one is there to motivate you, who cares? That doesn't stop the laws of physics. If this is the excuse you're using then you don't want it enough. Its as simple as that. You get ZERO credit for wanting to lose weight and improve yourself. Anyone can do that, you only get credit for achieving your goals.
Tl;dr: Stop whining and take responsibility for your weight loss. You're a grown adult, deal with it like one. Show some self control, and if you can't then you don't deserve to be in shape. Your body will react to how you treat it.Lack self control? You're going to be fat and deserve to be like that.
Bring on the anger. I don't care what it takes you to motivate yourself, but just find a way, because otherwise you're going to die(probably young) never doing any of the things your body is capable of , and then what was even the point?
This is exactly everything I want to say on here everyday. You sir, are my hero and I will leave you all of my peanut butter in my will.0 -
there is actual research by Jay Giedd based around functional MRIs in adolescence that shows, amongst other fascinating information, that the frontal part of the brain that controls things like planning, empathy, decision-making actually reduces in size around puberty
...that's why teens get less empathetic, more egotistical and make bad decisions .. from what I recall this goes on to early 20s
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Actually, I am older than dirt, but I agree with most of what he says. Excuses don't cut it. BTW third shift is the 11pm to 7am job.0
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I mean.... MFP is a site designed to help people with their health and is structured around support and motivation... you're probably on the wrong site if you get so riled up about people struggling and reaching out for help. People, more often than not, need and want other people to validate their struggles and help them be better people.
Tl;dr: don't judge who you don't know, mate.0 -
How do you know how many you have deterred? Oh I see you dont care.
I dont hate or dislike you, cant care enough for that. Again id agree with some of what you said, just look into how you say it. Tough love and telling it how it is, isnt always going to be the most effective strategy.0 -
joejward95 wrote: »I do find it very odd that so many people are focusing on my age as to why I am apparently incorrect. If I am so blatantly incorrect why are you not pointing out what I have said wrong? By focusing on my age you are really not saying anything with factual basis.
Many of you also seem to ignore that I have stated this post is not aimed towards that many of you. It is a very small minority that this is targeted to, so obviously it wont apply to most of you.
Also,you have no idea what my life experiences are? You have no idea how had I may of had to work to be in the position I am in life right now do you?
I'll give you a hint. I have had a very tough life. Tougher than I bet most of you had during your youth. That is as much detail as I want to go into, but I find it very rude to just discredit someone due to their age. It comes off as very immature.
People are not mostly saying you're wrong, because you are right about a lot. They are focusing on your age because your lack of life experience shows in the way you said it, just like it shines through your post I quoted above. That doesn't take away the merit from your thoughts but does put them in a perspective. Learn to see that perspective and you're another step ahead in personal growth (I prefer that word to "growing up" because growing up implies that one day you just get there and you're done - believe me, that's not how it works. It's a life-long process.)
A final thought: humanity has been trying to make "tough love" work for millions of years to teach people things and it has never taught them anything of value. Gentle education beats "tough love" hands-down any day. If gentle education doesn't work for a person, tough love doesn't work usually either because they're just not ready. At least that's how things look from the viewpoint of my (personal and limited) experience and observation. (That includes years of teaching by the way). Worth thinking about? Thought I'd share just in case.0 -
If this post actually managed to deter someone, they really cant have had much motivation in the first place to achieve their goals. I mean really? Do you genuinely think a post like this would make someone go
"Welp, I guess I cant lose weight then because this post doesn't apply to me". Seriously?0 -
there is actual research by Jay Giedd based around functional MRIs in adolescence that shows, amongst other fascinating information, that the frontal part of the brain that controls things like planning, empathy, decision-making actually reduces in size around puberty
...that's why teens get less empathetic, more egotistical and make bad decisions .. from what I recall this goes on to early 20s
Correct; it is why you do not argue with teenagers. Also "you can't live forever if your fat" under the OP's wall for inspirations is priceless when it comes to knowledge.
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Wiseandcurious wrote: »joejward95 wrote: »I do find it very odd that so many people are focusing on my age as to why I am apparently incorrect. If I am so blatantly incorrect why are you not pointing out what I have said wrong? By focusing on my age you are really not saying anything with factual basis.
Many of you also seem to ignore that I have stated this post is not aimed towards that many of you. It is a very small minority that this is targeted to, so obviously it wont apply to most of you.
Also,you have no idea what my life experiences are? You have no idea how had I may of had to work to be in the position I am in life right now do you?
I'll give you a hint. I have had a very tough life. Tougher than I bet most of you had during your youth. That is as much detail as I want to go into, but I find it very rude to just discredit someone due to their age. It comes off as very immature.
People are not mostly saying you're wrong, because you are right about a lot. They are focusing on your age because your lack of life experience shows in the way you said it, just like it shines through your post I quoted above. That doesn't take away the merit from your thoughts but does put them in a perspective. Learn to see that perspective and you're another step ahead in personal growth (I prefer that word to "growing up" because growing up implies that one day you just get there and you're done - believe me, that's not how it works. It's a life-long process.)
A final thought: humanity has been trying to make "tough love" work for millions of years to teach people things and it has never taught them anything of value. Gentle education beats "tough love" hands-down any day. If gentle education doesn't work for a person, tough love doesn't work usually either because they're just not ready. At least that's how things look from the viewpoint of my (personal and limited) experience and observation. (That includes years of teaching by the way). Worth thinking about? Thought I'd share just in case.
Yeah not actually true - tough love works with some people - gentle education works with other people - educational strategy changes every 3-5 years and everybody thinks they have reinvented the wheel.0 -
there is actual research by Jay Giedd based around functional MRIs in adolescence that shows, amongst other fascinating information, that the frontal part of the brain that controls things like planning, empathy, decision-making actually reduces in size around puberty
...that's why teens get less empathetic, more egotistical and make bad decisions .. from what I recall this goes on to early 20s
There is hope for my daughters. They might not make it to their late twenties with their "hold my beer" and "guess where I'm calling you from" decision making skills.
I need tranquilizer darts.0 -
Also, I get that this rant makes me come off as immature in some ways. I genuinely do, and just because people keep saying it, I will mention that is a very out of character thing for me to say. I am not like how this post conveys me to be in real life, or even online 99% of the time. This was a bit of tough love for some people who might need it. That is all.0
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joejward95 wrote: »Also, I get that this rant makes me come off as immature in some ways. I genuinely do, and just because people keep saying it, I will mention that is a very out of character thing for me to say. I am not like how this post conveys me to be in real life, or even online 99% of the time. This was a bit of tough love for some people who might need it. That is all.
I like ya
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EvgeniZyntx wrote: »there is actual research by Jay Giedd based around functional MRIs in adolescence that shows, amongst other fascinating information, that the frontal part of the brain that controls things like planning, empathy, decision-making actually reduces in size around puberty
...that's why teens get less empathetic, more egotistical and make bad decisions .. from what I recall this goes on to early 20s
There is hope for my daughters. They might not make it to their late twenties with their "hold my beer" and "guess where I'm calling you from" decision making skills.
I need tranquilizer darts.
My eldest is 14 .. I'm taking many deep breaths
http://www.dana.org/Cerebrum/2009/The_Teen_Brain__Primed_to_Learn,_Primed_to_Take_Risks/0 -
The whole point of MFP is for support and motivation. If people didn't struggle, and fail, and start again, and fail again, and keep going and keep trying, there would be no MFP and everyone would be fit and slim and at their optimum health. Human beings are falliable, and losing weight is tough. Maybe not for you, for which, well done. But other folk sometimes struggle.
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I think people are focusing on your age because an older person with more wisdom will find it insulting and slightly patronising to be lectured by a 19 year old boy, whos body can probably cope and react better to weight loss than a more mature body whos which has slowed down and will struggle a little more.
Also the attitude of "Its's as easy as this" to me just sounds like all those adverts for diet pills. "If you just take this/do this all the weight will suddenly fall off! I lost 80lbs in 7 months!" If it was that easy, no one would be over weight. You're not looking at the bigger picture, beyond yourself. Some people may have psychological reasons as well. I know someone who was abused as a child and has to conquer that challenge in therapy in order to lose the weight.
That is my opinion anyway, as we are all sharing 0 -
So, the OP may be young. But he has a point. A LOT of people make excuses in their posts. You tell them what could be wrong and they get defensive. You aren't telling them they are doing something wrong to make them quit, you are doing it to HELP them.
I've always said the only person that's gonna care that you are losing or lost weight is YOU. Even my boyfriend, who adores me, could care less that I lost 14lbs in 3 months. He still tries to be a bad influence and I push back. Because my butt getting smaller is more important than cake.
So, moral of this story is, the OP is right. Young, but right. It may be easier to gain it when we get older and hard to lose it, but making excuses and having them set us back is why most of us are here anyway.0 -
One of my biggest pet peeves is listening to folks complain about their weight or health. Those who know they need to change things and ask for all kinds of advice and in the next breath they're eating way over their calorie range and skipping the gym for some reason. My simple response is a person can't have it both ways. You either want to change and you do, or you don't. But wasting energy like that when it could be spent on positive interactions is just silly.
It's a good rant but perhaps this isn't the proper forum for it. People are here because they want the motivation and support of like-minded individuals, because they want to educate themselves about what works and what doesn't, and because when you're on this journey and you reach a goal, it feels good to be acknowledged. That's just being a human being.
I had no motivation of any kind the day something in my brain clicked and I decided to take action. Two years later, close to 100 lbs lost, athlete level fitness, daily training, a clean diet and heavy MMA. Two years ago I used to make fun of "gym" people. Then I grew up. Getting there is easier for some, maintaining is the harder part in my opinion. Life happens and a lot of it is BS and when it does, if you don't have the motivation or a sense of community to keep going it can be easy to give up.
Six month ago I lost my mother after watching her suffer for months. It was quite devastating for me and for my family. If it wasn't for the second family I had established at my boxing club I am not sure I would have had the fire and passion in me to keep going with my extreme health and fitness plan. Had I read your post back then I most likely would have found you and round-housed you into a new nationality.
Being rude is not an "excuse" to motivate people. You'll always get more with sugar than with salt.
Don't bother replying to me, I won't be checking back on this post. Since you seem to care very little about the personal achievements and hardships of others your opinion is of no consequence in my life.
Good luck.0 -
I like this kid.
But kid, don't knock the others with underactive thyroid or other health conditions out of their control. I have underactive thyroid. It isn't an excuse. It's just harder to find that balance of CICO that will actually work. It took me damn near two months to figure it out and I'm still tweaking it every day.0 -
Ahaha, all this anger telling me to come back in 20 years just motivates me more to stay in shape forever!
How would you feel if I told you guys you're going to be fat again in 10 years? Its a bit of a personal attack with no basis isn't it?0 -
I don't want to worry you people but I'm picking something up on the edge of my Troll-meter ...0
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Morning Joe!! ...You really should reread what you wrote in your op. The people you're downing, just because they seek motivation, support, encouragement whatever it may be...they were you, you said you made excuse after excuse. Then you took control. Well same thing really just different people, different reasons, most asking for some sort of encouragement to knock those"doubts aka excuses"...etc what brought you here the calorie counter or recipes?
Man, what I would give to have the metabolism I had at 19 too! Just sayin.. Btw..Awesome job on the quick weight loss
....I would like to share my excuse today..Im on a high dose of Prednisone, and limited lower body movement! Woohoo Go me! Wish me success or not..lol
"You deserve to be fat?" Ouch! Seriously?? Put down your morning hatoraide hun please)
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joejward95 wrote: »Ahaha, all this anger telling me to come back in 20 years just motivates me more to stay in shape forever!
How would you feel if I told you guys you're going to be fat again in 10 years? Its a bit of a personal attack with no basis isn't it?
Realistically, for me, if I don't keep doing what I do, I will be fat in 10 years!0 -
Realtychic.I fully understand there are people who for different reasons have a more difficulty losing weight, but for your example that you have lowered body movement, you just don't need to eat as much if you're not moving as much then surely?0
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Actually well said!!!! I like this post cause like some others I get tired of hearing the excuses.0
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joejward95 wrote: »Ahaha, all this anger telling me to come back in 20 years just motivates me more to stay in shape forever!
How would you feel if I told you guys you're going to be fat again in 10 years? Its a bit of a personal attack with no basis isn't it?
That's definitely a motivation that will fail. Nobody is saying you'll be fat in 10 years. They are saying you've done everything in easy mode so far. Reality is, everything you've done in your life is something you consider to be the hardest thing you've ever done. For a 2 year old, potty training is the hardest thing they've ever done. In 10 years, maintaining what you've done will be exponentially harder. In 20 years, even more. In 50 years, assuming you're lucky enough to avoid all of the potential illnesses of aging like arthritis and bone degeneration, it will still be harder. If you're not lucky to dodge all of the bullets of aging, you may find yourself in too much pain to even give a damn.
Basically, what you're preaching here is the equivalent of a 6 year old coming to you, after mommy makes his lunch and does his laundry for him, and telling you school is easy. That anything you have to say about the effort you put into finishing your classes or passing exams is just whining.0 -
there is actual research by Jay Giedd based around functional MRIs in adolescence that shows, amongst other fascinating information, that the frontal part of the brain that controls things like planning, empathy, decision-making actually reduces in size around puberty
...that's why teens get less empathetic, more egotistical and make bad decisions .. from what I recall this goes on to early 20s
Love this. This will help me to deal with my own young ones today. These kinds of post are beneficial 0 -
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joejward95 wrote: »As said in the title.This post IS going to come off as harsh, and rude and probably quite bigoted to some of you. But this needs to be said because otherwise a load of you are NOT going to make it, and I hate seeing people not fulfill their maximum potential, this is also NOT aimed at all(or even many)of you, but a specific group of people.
I should also say that in September I was 260 lbs and a hair below 6'1, lazy 18 year old kid, making excuses left right and center as to why I was overweight . Since then I am now down to 180lbs. Regularly compete in bouldering tournaments and am doing a marathon in June. So I was in the position that some of you are in now. Since then, I have grown the hell up and taken responsibility like an adult.
Okay, so recently I have been seeing a ton of posts about people making excuses as to why the can't lose weight .I've heard it all in only the last week!
"But I have an under active Thyroid!"
"My Carb cycle is off"(whatever the hell that is supposed to mean)
"I'm sleeping at the wrong times!"
"I'm eating healthily and not losing"
The list goes on and on and on.... endlessly. Its getting tiresome commenting to these people to tell them what they're doing wrong.
Weight loss is 90% diet, and of that it is 100% about the calories you eat vs the calories out.If you plan on complaining on here about not losing weight, first try taking 250 calories off what you're eating, because if you're gaining or maintaining when you want to lose weight I guarantee you are eating too much. I don't care about your excuses, you are eating too much.Eat less and you will lose weight, you're not some special snowflake who can overcome the laws of physics. Its just not going to happen. If its been 2 months and you claim you've been eating a deficit and not lost any weight they you're either deluded, dont know how to use a scale or a liar. It is as simple as that.
Another thing that I have noticed is people asking for motivation. First of all let me preface, I am not talking about the posts of people asking for weight loss/exercise buddies, that is fine.It can be nice to have a bit of motivation with someone to lose with, but it is NOT required. The fact is, you're a grown adult. At the end of the day, it is down to you to do it. if you're sitting here saying you're not losing because you're not motivated then deal with it. Speak to a doctor to see if you need medical help(I suffered from depression for years but I did the adult thing and got treated). If you want to lose weight and get in better shape it is only down to you. If no one is there to motivate you, who cares? That doesn't stop the laws of physics. If this is the excuse you're using then you don't want it enough. Its as simple as that. You get ZERO credit for wanting to lose weight and improve yourself. Anyone can do that, you only get credit for achieving your goals.
Tl;dr: Stop whining and take responsibility for your weight loss. You're a grown adult, deal with it like one. Show some self control, and if you can't then you don't deserve to be in shape. Your body will react to how you treat it.Lack self control? You're going to be fat and deserve to be like that.
Bring on the anger. I don't care what it takes you to motivate yourself, but just find a way, because otherwise you're going to die(probably young) never doing any of the things your body is capable of , and then what was even the point?
If you weren't 18 years old… I'd totally have the biggest MFP crush on you. THANK GOD someone finally said what I've been dying to say for months! Amen to every word. Now people can hate on me too.0 -
**AHEM** Ladies, I think you will find I am 19 actually! I AM A GROWN UP! (sarcasm)0
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