mother in law advice

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  • nikki0753
    nikki0753 Posts: 383 Member
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    i would just take them down to avoid any conflict. she is being really silly but does it really matter if some of the pics arnt on facebook? surely u have printed copies and saved on your computer?
  • Karmynzahringer
    Karmynzahringer Posts: 192 Member
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    I had a similar situation with a cousin. I posted old scanned photos from way back in the 70s and 80s on facebook that had my mother in them along with my cousin and his ex wife. My cousin messaged me and asked me to remove them because he didnt want to argue with his current wife and although I thought it was rather silly, the relationship with my family is far more important than facebook. I can't understand some of the suggestions people are giving you to just ignore it and leave them up. Human relations should always come first. This is your husbands mother. Communicate with her about it. Tell her that you do not wish to take them down because they are special memories to you and you value them. If she still requests, it must mean more to her than you know and is worth compromising to protect your relationship with her.
  • tesha_chandler
    tesha_chandler Posts: 378 Member
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    Honestly, I'd take them down or edit the privacy settings so that she can't see them. Divorce is a hard thing to go through and little things like old pictures can ruin your whole day. If she has always been decent to you, I would respect her wishes and her feelings. If she has always caused trouble, make it your cover photo.
  • missbp
    missbp Posts: 601 Member
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    Here is how I would handle this one . . .

    I would tell her that you are really sorry that the pictures made her feel sad. But, that they are snapshots of one of the most important days of your life. Change is part of life. On THAT day, she was married to THAT man. The pictures reflect that. I would end it by saying, "Again, I am sorry that seeing them makes you feel sad. But, you asking me to remove them, makes me feel really sad. I hope you will understand why I am leaving them up."

    Good luck!
  • Lyadeia
    Lyadeia Posts: 4,603 Member
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    i would just take them down to avoid any conflict. she is being really silly but does it really matter if some of the pics arnt on facebook? surely u have printed copies and saved on your computer?

    Yeah, that's another thing that worries me. I printed them all out and made actual albums, plus some are in frames, and they are all on my computer and original disc that I bought from the photographer. So what's the big deal with 4 pix on Facebook when they are all over anyway? She hasn't mentioned the other locations.
  • kdb247
    kdb247 Posts: 326 Member
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    Ask your spouse and go from there. If your spouse leaves it all up to you, leave the pics up and explain to her that you completely understand but her request is a tad bit unreasonable and little selfish. Ask her to not put one your most important life’s event in the middle of her break-up. Tell her to please not look at your internet photos if it will cause her grief. Be very sincere maybe she’ll be receptive and re-think her request of you.
  • darkrose20
    darkrose20 Posts: 1,139 Member
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    My husband and I disowned both of our mothers.
    Freedom is a good thing.
    QFT
  • Azra124
    Azra124 Posts: 39
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    My husband and I disowned both of our mothers.
    Freedom is a good thing.
    QFT

    What does "QFT" mean?
  • LizN63
    LizN63 Posts: 129 Member
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    Quoted for truth.
  • KimbersNewLife
    KimbersNewLife Posts: 645 Member
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    Hauntinglyfit wrote: »
    Huh.
    I always thought you're SUPPOSED to piss your mother-in-law off. It seems to me like you're doing life right.

    Oh my gosh I have been laughing at this so hard!!!! It really cheered me up about my MIL issues!!! LOL ROFL The woman just can not be pleased and I decided to fold...but wow this really has me thinking... I am REALLY doing life right because I have pissed her off with out any effort at all. She just dislikes my total existence......
    yep still laughing!!!!
  • CJisinShape
    CJisinShape Posts: 1,404 Member
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    Cameron_1969 wrote: »
    But seriously. . why is everyone so freakishly selfish!? Is it an internet forum thing!? . .The poor woman is going through a nighmarishly difficult time in her life and part of that includes some irrational and overly emotional responses to things that an otherwise rational person might not care about. .

    Is having those specific pictures on facebook so important to you that you start a war with the mother of the man you love? I'm astounded at the dearth of perspective and empathy in both the OP and the majority of the responses here.

    *shakes head and walks away*

    I agree with this guy.
  • Texasgntlman
    Texasgntlman Posts: 50 Member
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    Right! I am going to have to disagree with the majority too. I personally think FB is a terrible invasion of a persons privacy. If I choose not to post certain pictures of myself -for any reason, why should others be allowed to? How would you feel if someone had taken what you considered an embarrassing photo of you (the one you would have torn up and threw before digital photos) and posted it for the whole world to see? If she doesn't want her picture posted -you should respect that. It comes down to what if the situation was reversed and you wanted certain pictures removed?-for whatever reason. Mother-in-law or stranger -it doesn't matter... If someone asks you not to post or to remove certain pictures of them you should.
    To me the one being childish is the one saying "No-I don't have to.. And you can't make me..Na nana boo boo"
  • PRMinx
    PRMinx Posts: 4,585 Member
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    CJisinShape wrote: »
    Cameron_1969 wrote: »
    But seriously. . why is everyone so freakishly selfish!? Is it an internet forum thing!? . .The poor woman is going through a nighmarishly difficult time in her life and part of that includes some irrational and overly emotional responses to things that an otherwise rational person might not care about. .

    Is having those specific pictures on facebook so important to you that you start a war with the mother of the man you love? I'm astounded at the dearth of perspective and empathy in both the OP and the majority of the responses here.

    *shakes head and walks away*

    I agree with this guy.

    I'm kind of there, too.

    I realize that boundaries are important but, at the same time, people get way to crazed about social media. It's just Facebook. She's not asking you to burn your real album or anything. I guess I also empathize because I've been there. Breakups are hard (no matter how many times you go through them) and I didn't want to see pictures of my ex all over the place. Granted, we aren't talking wedding pictures or anything, but my sister took some down and defriended him and all that jazz - and I didn't even have to ask her to do it. She just did because she empathized.

    I would either take them down (it's only four of them anyway) or block her from seeing them.
  • MommysLittleMeatball
    MommysLittleMeatball Posts: 2,064 Member
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    You can block her from the album.

    Go to wedding album > Edit > Privacy > Custom > "Don't share this with" and type her name.

  • TheRoadDog
    TheRoadDog Posts: 11,788 Member
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    I'd remove the pictures if it was my MIL, just to keep the peace. No big deal.
  • TheRoadDog
    TheRoadDog Posts: 11,788 Member
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    Jackie0Marie wrote: »
    You can block her from the album.

    Go to wedding album > Edit > Privacy > Custom > "Don't share this with" and type her name.

    Or this.

  • lexlowe
    lexlowe Posts: 908 Member
    edited March 2015
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    OP is a month old so OP likely has decided by now to remove, block,or ignore here MIL so I removed what I had to say...
  • ew_david
    ew_david Posts: 3,473 Member
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    lexlowe wrote: »
    OP is a month old so OP likely has decided by now to remove, block,or ignore here MIL so I removed what I had to say...

    Actually, this thread is over a year old.
  • kalin73
    kalin73 Posts: 595 Member
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    Lyadeia wrote: »
    Short version of the issue: 3 years ago after I got married, I posted ALL the pictures the photographer took in an album on Facebook for all to see. Around October last year, my mother in law decided that it's time to end her marriage. This morning, I get Facebook requests from her asking me to remove pictures from my wedding album that show her and Mark (her soon to be 4th ex husband) dancing together, sitting together, or just being together period because "it makes me sad to see this picture." She also said she doesn't want other people to see the pictures either.

    My gut reaction: Aw, hell naw! If you don't like it, don't look at it! It's MY wedding album and I'm NOT taking any pictures out of it!!!

    What would you tell her? Or would you actually take those pictures down (and why?)

    Or perhaps some Facebook guru can simply tell me how to make those specific pictures private so that she can't see them while everyone else can? I'm just not inclined to change my wedding album because she can't keep a husband...

    Well, what does your husband feel... Some men are psycho tight with their mothers

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