Discouraged by MFP

Iron_Feline wrote: »

If you're letting an automatic message from a machine discourage you to the point of giving up then you're not ready.

You'll encounter multiple challenges and set backs during your weight loss. If you give up at each one, well...

This.

After I had lost 30 lbs, someone asked me if i was pregnant. You think the automated message is bad!!!!!

...I went on to lose 20 more lbs and gain 20 back with lifting, and lose another 5. I am wearing a size 4 pencil skirt. If you want this, you gotta learn the first step is loving yourself enough to not let stupid ish discourage you.

emily_stew wrote: »

prattiger65 wrote: »

emily_stew wrote: »

prattiger65 wrote: »

OP if you are still reading this, and I seriously doubt it after reading some of the thread, I get it. You just started and you were excited. You exercised some willpower and self control and instead of encouragement, you got "you are still doing it wrong". Then you made a post to just vent a little and its turned into a six page "suck it up buttercup". I will say, most of the people here are well intentioned, some have just forgotten how they felt when they just started, some don't realize how the written word doesn't translate well sometimes and some really are just crabby people, but that's life, right? You will be fine, you will figure it out and you will be successful as long as you don't let it get you down and quit. Good luck OP!!

Oh look, a White Knight.

How do you like me now?

What? I don't even know what you mean.

Sorry, that went over your head. It was just a smart a$& comment and in reply to your white night post. What I should have said was, you have an opinion of me and have put a name to it, how nice.

blankiefinder wrote: »

beckajo82 wrote: »

OP, I know exactly how you feel. I'm usually over, so the days when I have managed to be below and I get yelled at sadden me. My weekly calories are usually good, so I wish that the warning came at the end of a week instead of daily! It's a suggestion to maybe make to MFP directly.

It's all good. Just process through your feelings, pick yourself up tomorrow, and keep going!

(also, ignore all the jerks here who are acting so superior and holier-than-thou. There's a hive mind here sometimes, and you unfortunately encountered it.)

I don't think it's mean to tell someone that they have to want it bad enough that they don't quit because of an automated message. Losing as much weight as the OP (and many others) needs to is not an easy journey, it is going to take a lot of determination and inner fortitude to do it. I think most of us are just saying, 'Want it bad enough'. Bad enough to stick to it. Bad enough to weather the bad days without quitting. Have the attitude, 'Failure is not an option'.

If I were the OP, I would read all of the posts with an open mind, and realize that most here want to help, be it tough love, or hugs and kisses.

Fantastic graphic. I've seen this before and it applies 100% here.

Clearly I'm not the only one baffled by why she's so upset. Before this thread I never really thought much of the warnings. It's an app. I mean, I don't get upset when I click delete on something and a message pops up that says "Are you sure you want to delete it?" - I don't feel like it is judging my decision to delete.

OP - If you set your goal to be 1,200 and you don't eat 1,200 calories, the app is not judging you, it's just letting you know that you did not reach your goal to eat 1,200. I don't ever have an issue hitting my calorie goal (mainly because I like to eat ) but I do get the message at the end saying "If you eat this much you'll weigh this in 5 weeks" but it's just a message, it doesn't mean anything really because there are so many variables when it comes to weight loss. Also, keep in mind that 1,200 is the MINIMUM you should be eating so for MFP to have a message telling you you are under is them doing their due diligence - can you imagine if it didn't and someone kept eating under that and she/he had some health issues as a result? They can come back and say "well, no one ever told me I should be eating ALL of my calories!!!" ... Anyway, you're probably not reading the replies but those are my two cents on the matter

jofjltncb6 wrote: »

SconnieCat wrote: »

stopdropandstay wrote: »

Wow, there are lots of people on here who are extremely insensitive. I think some people just can't grasp the fact that health/weightloss is a different journey for everyone. For me, it is an extremely emotional one, and for someone to just tell me to "suck it up" and to "stop making excuses" for myself would only hurt my process and trigger me into unhealthy eating habits again. This is so much more than just a "you get what you put in" situation. This misconception that people have is the reason why society has such little tolerance for people of different/extreme body shapes. I'm honestly ashamed to see such negativity, and this only adds to the list of reasons of why I don't frequent the forums here.

Anyhow, dearest OP, I am so proud of you! I know those numbers can be discouraging, but it's amazing that you were able to get yourself to feel that way. Health is so amazing, and I'm glad you found a moment of that. Just keep on trying the best that you can. I know there will be days when you want to cry and give up, but just trust me on this - this is not something worth giving up that amazing feeling for. I definitely believe in you, so you go on doing your own thing, and don't let anyone or anything ever get you down, because your process is your own - nothing can or should take that away from you!

So because some of us don't necessarily like to coddle the OPs, and because we don't surround what we say with hugs, cuddles, and "YOU CAN DO IT!*&%(&%*@(&%*(@# FOLLOW YOUR DREAMZZZZZZ" replies, we're 'triggering' you to unhealthy habits?

Because some people prefer to be straight forward and honest with their replies, it's a TRIGGER?!?!

Seriously?

If that's the case, I hope you're never confronted with a big ole birthday cake. Your whole world might collapse on you.

I'm not even going to get into your line about society having such little tolerance for people of different/extreme body shapes. I have NO idea where the correlation between THAT and what OP is saying comes in.

Looks like your post just triggered at least one person to flag you.

It's not a day on the forums unless I get flagged. *shrug*

ETA: Also, I'm incredibly slow today. +1 for Trigger, the horse.

ndj1979 wrote: »

I think we should change the name from "My Fitness pal"to "You all have been judged Pal" YAHBJP

I feel like "Yah BJ Pal" would have a different connotation...

Lasmartchika wrote: »

malibu927 wrote: »

Lasmartchika wrote: »

auddii wrote: »

jofjltncb6 wrote: »

blankiefinder wrote: »

To the OP and any new MFP'ers just starting on their journey, keep in mind when you see that message, that most people are eating more than they think, and burning less. For example, the poster who complained that it keeps telling her what she will weigh in 5 weeks, but hasn't hit that weight after 8 weeks, if you're not losing at the rate you think you should be, based on your daily deficits, you need to analyze your logging.

Either you want this enough to deal with things like getting an automated message, or you don't. Take control of your journey, and seize the opportunity to learn.

My "in 5 weeks" number has been off for the 3+ years I've been logging...because MFP doesn't accurately estimate my activity level. However, my own analysis of the data with an adjusted "without exercise TDEE" supports the accuracy of my logging, so it doesn't bother me at all.

TL;DR - a bad "in 5 weeks" number doesn't necessarily indicate an error in logging.

I never close my diary, so I decided to last night just to see, and it told me I'd gain two pounds...

And then 9000 people liked it and I got emails, and then I remembered why I never completed my diary.[/quotol !! I close mine and maybe 2 people like it... nobody ever says anything. :laugh:

That's it, I'm going back and liking every single entry of yours

I actually had a guy defriend me once because of the contents of my diary. He fancied himself some kind of 'coach' and started offering all kinds of unsolicited criticism before he decided we needed to part ways. *tear* Another person defriended me because I'm an IFer (intermission fasting) and YOU NEED FRUITS AND VEGGIES EVERY DAY. She just couldn't handle it for some reason.

When I get those red letters and I'm full to the point where I couldn't eat any more, I'm actually happy. Think of it more as if the website is concerned for your wellbeing, it doesn't want you to starve yourself, as some do to lose weight fast. But if you've eaten until you're satisfied that day, and have exercised, the website doesn't know that. Be happy, you're on the right track! MFP is just there to say, "you know you can eat more than you have done today".

Well done for doing so well...the red letters are nothing to get worried about l see that sometimes on mine MFP works keep it up x

Please read this with the mindset that I only have good intentions in posting this. I am afraid you will be offended, but I feel it is worth the risk for potentially helping you greatly.

As a nurse, I'm a little worried for you. If that's enough to throw you into this much upset, I might consider going to your primary care physician to talking to them about options for regulating your emotions/anxiety, because this isn't a proportional reaction. If you find yourself having trouble dealing with normal every day stressors fairly often, getting some help could literally change your life in a positive way. And to be completely open, I am speaking from experience. I take an anti depressant daily and my husband takes anti anxiety medications... In both cases they have helped immensely! Getting help for anxiety and/or mood disorders is life changing.

Good luck, friend!

hollydubs85 wrote: »

krisalexine wrote: »

rabbitjb wrote: »

Meh! you know what, I'm getting so bored of the sycophantic "meanie" posts round here, they actually turn my stomach a little.

Since the day I started here I've enjoyed the straight-forward adult advice from a wide number of posters here. :

There's a difference between being straight-forward and being negative. I didn't read through the entire thread to see if you fall into either category. I'm merely responding to your last comment made.

rabbitjb wrote: »

I have enough people in real life to sympathise, empathise and tell me everything is fine.

Not everyone has enough people in real life.

rabbitjb wrote: »

It might be a cultural difference ...we don't do cheerleading so much, but I find that's also true of other nations and vast swathes of the US

*hoiks up judgey-pants* but hell, at least I know I'm wearing them :huh:

I'm from Jersey (specifically the suburbs outside New York City), where almost EVERYONE is straight-forward and tells it like it is. Again, there is a HUGE difference in being honest and being an as*. Again, I haven't read the whole thread to see which category you fit into, just responding to your comments.

Bottom line, OP was clearly feeling discouraged and reached out to a people in a forum for encouragement. If you (general YOU... not calling YOU out rabbitjb) didn't want to offer encouragement, then cool, but you (general YOU) didn't have to offer DIScouragement either, or make her feel worse than she already did.

But seriously, I don't know how some people manage in real life.

In situations like these, it's best to know your audience before addressing them. If the same OP was said in a weight watcher's meeting, I'm sure they'd receive nothing but encouragement and figurative hand-holding. But on an internet forum, even one as tame as MFP, you're going to get responses you won't like. It pays to lurk a little to know what you're getting into before you post.

but there are so many people who dont manage real life well. lots of depressed people. lots of people in mental health institutions. Some people can freak out for the little things that others will just deal with.

OP hopefully in a few days time you will laugh at this post as you get on with the tool. Its only making recommendations, just ignore them as long as you are staying safe. I just tell it to zap off when its telling me that I am over. Too late app I have eaten the cake. Dont give up as you will be the one to lose out.

I'm just re-starting out and do come just under most days. Don't worry about it too much. Use it as a tool for success. Feeling bad about eating under your calorie count is a type of self-defeating behavior. Find healthy recipes that will keep you close to that and don't be afraid to have the occasional treat. When I was in Weight Watchers several years ago, my group leader told us of a study that had been done that showed that people who allow themselves the occasional treat while trying to loose weight had an easier time then those who didn't. Plus, by adding in exercise, you allow for those treats.

My thinking is: just log it and don't worry, especially at the beginning. I'm a month in, and my whole thing is -- it's all about building healthy habits and being aware of how much I'm eating. So sometimes it's high. Sometimes it's low. But MFP gives you a great tool to just keep sticking with it and being aware of what you're putting into your body. Aware so you can move forward again and again, one small step each day. You can do this!