Relationship problem (don't know where else to post)

Your ex enjoys all the attention and drama you give him. When you can move on and ignore him and put yourself first in a healthy way he will realize what he had. Don't cling to him or apologize and say you'll change. He loves that control and thats not how you treat someone if you really love them.

Listen to your friends... and drop him forever. He's disrespecting you, yet you're the one apologizing. Let him go and learn to love yourself.

+1 on this --> helpguide.org/articles/abuse/domestic-violence-and-abuse.htmhttp://

You're 18. Concentrate on school not guys.

Unless of course you want to end up like I did... 23 and stuck in an abusive marriage with a newborn baby.

Why does your ex even have a say in who you flirt with or not? Or am I missing something?

I am a firm believer in taking some time apart after a break up (obviously not every relationship can do this). No friends. No contact. While some people successfully manage to be friends, more often than not it is extremely complicated and someone gets hurt. One party usually wants to be friends and the other one hopes they will reconcile.

It is also hard to get perspective when you are still so close. I can remember not being able to imagine not having my ex in my life - until a few months down the road without him in my life and I realized a lot of other things, primarily that things were much better without him.

I'm exhausted just reading this. dump this loser and move on

I haven't read the other replies; but let me tell you how I screwed up my life by choosing the wrong husband...
I was in college, didn't really care about a degree, although I got one. Dated several guys, and sort of clung to the most promising one ( it looked like he was going to have good income)...All I really wanted was to be happy, and have babies. So he seemed fine, and I thought I was in love.
Well, the first year we were married (both 21) I realized things weren't as great as I had dreamed. BUT I had no grounds for divorce, and I didn't want to shame my family or be shunned by my church. So I stuck with it. He wasn't abusive, just inattentive. Not very loving. So I thought "I'll get pregnant", so I'd have someone to love. And I did.
Fast forward to 37 years later. We were still married, kids were grown and gone, and now all I have are my pets to love. Been 10 years since we'd had sex, or even kissed. I asked him if he wanted a divorce, and he said no. He never had a conversation with me, or really talked to me at all. He always wanted to go out to eat, which I didn't enjoy that much. We were both overweight. I thought I was fulfilling my duty as a proper wife; just hanging in there because of the commitment I'd made decades earlier. I was pleasant and took care of everything, and cooked good meals. Everyone loved me, except HIM! We moved for his job one last time, but I loved our current place, so I asked again, are you sure you want to stay married? He said yes. So I moved, and cried and cried about leaving my "perfect place". We bought a house HE liked, because a time crunch was upon us. He unpacked all HIS things, and I had to beg him to bring up my things from the basement (I can't do stairs). I never did get much at all that should have been upstairs.
Then...I became very ill, almost died. He did a short term turnaround, and was sweet to me! It was such a nice change, but once I improved, he drifted away again. He went to a local weight loss thing at the hospital, and lost 100#. I don't know if it was there or at work, but he met someone new. He began dreaming about having a great life with someone else. He asked me, just after our 38th anniversary for a divorce. I was still disabled, and needed help. Our son moved in with us, and he moved out. That was 8 mos ago and I haven't seen him since. I'm SIXTY years old, have never really been loved, and am now alone. I never ever ever thought this would happen to ME. All I ever wanted was to be loved, and to have children. Thank goodness I had the children, but he didn't really love me. Probably not ever. I've spent 30+ yrs on antidepressants because of how unhappy I was. We went to counseling way back when, but he quit going when the guy agreed with me I had a right to be unhappy with him. He didn't want to go before the divorce. So my advice to you is this: DO NOT MARRY SOMEONE, OR COMMIT TO THEM, UNLESS EVERY DAY WITH HIM IS BLISS!!! I am serious. I would give every possession I have to have a do-over. I feel my life is a failure. Yes, I have my kids, but they have their own lives! I would never ever choose someone again unless I was SURE they were my SOULMATE. And what that means is, they love and cherish everything about you, and want only the best for you in every circumstance. They put you ahead of their own wants and needs. And yes, such relationships exist. Don't settle for anything less. PLEASE! You need to date other people if you aren't sure. Having doubts isn't a good thing. Think about being someone's Cinderella! It does happen. I've told you all this because of the HUGE regrets I have for being in a hurry to settle down and have a family. It was a big mistake.
I hope you will seriously think about what I have said. My life is loveless, but yours doesn't have to be. Please give the new guy a chance, and don't settle for anyone that doesn't CHERISH YOU. Best of luck to you, and blessings always.

Cut off all contact with him. You don't need someone like that in your life as either a boyfriend or a friend. Friends should respect you. It doesn't sound like he has any respect for you at all. With what you have said he sounds like he is either verbally abusive, very bitter over the breakup or both.

I was in a verbally abusive relationship. The best thing I did for myself was to really take the time to figure out what I did wrong (like avoid red flags, made decisions based on my insecurities) and what I can do in the future to avoid men like that before I would allow myself to even think of getting involved with someone else. You can't do that if he is still in the picture and treating you like garbage.

navi_silva wrote: »

Hey I've been in this situation before only I was the guy being a *kitten*. Honestly just leave him. All it is is pent up insecurity and immaturity. If he was worth keeping around he would have had an actual conversation with you about the issues and went on from there. Given that he's acting so spiteful and genuinely foul with his language only shows that hes a little kid throwing a tantrum. A bad past relationship is not an excuse to be annoying and immature, he's carrying the worst type of luggage. Take my criticism with a grain of salt and hopefully you'll save yourself a lot of headaches and heart break.

This. ^^^ All of this.

I am pretty sure you wouldn't accept this type of behavior from one of your girlfriends, so why consider accepting this behavior from him? This guy has lots of red flags and doesn't seem to respect you. There are PLENTY of other men who will respect you. In the mean time, focus on your goals and stay positive.