supporting your mfp friends....or not.

BeardedStudWarrior wrote: »

I never delete anyone. My "friends" usually delete me cause all of the filthy perverted talk and cussing I do on my page! Dang prudes!

LMFAO! I get deleted because people get offended by my profile photos, though a vast majority of my friends love them. I recently got one removed because someone reported it.... I figured I'd "clean it up a bit" for a few days (hence my current lame profile photo)

PharmGirl522 wrote: »

I've only deleted one person from my friends list...and that had nothing to do with her calorie patterns or food choices. She just saw fit to comment on a status update I made, to inform me that "the word god should always be capitalized unless you are referring to a false idol."

....Um....no. *delete* I'm here to track my *kitten* food, not get a *kitten* lecture on religion and the proper way in which to refer to religious figures.

Anyway. It's up to each individual person who they want to have as friends here. If they aren't fitting the image of who you want to be friends with, then delete them. No explanation necessary.

I would have deleted her so fast her head would have spun.
Agreed!

jenncornelsen wrote: »

Dragn77 wrote: »

I think thats good Jenn... I mean, I understand a genuine concern / want to help. But I also believe in helping those who actually want it... If someone expresses concern or asks for advice, Ill do my best, but unsolicited advice rarely ends well.

Not too late for anything LoL like I said, when I deleted people, they didnt even notice. Id guess, if you deleted someone who felt bad about your choice to do so, and they valued your friendship on here, they will speak up and tell you.

thank u . i didnt post this thread to be malicious or hurtful. i honestly wanted to know what others would do in the situation. i had never removed anyone because i don't want to hurt people's feelings, but at the same time it bothered me when i saw the lengths certain people seemed willing to go to to lose weight. it's not important to me to have tons of friends. so maybe i will push a few people away with this post but maybe others will be on the same page.

You were not malicious at all.

If I may add, even in some of my past calorie diaries I have eaten less then 1000 calories, it's not because I am intentionally starving myself, it's just some days I feel like laying in bed, and I don't feel hungry ^.^ but yeah, it is best to keep above 1000 calories for healthy weight loss that supports metabolism.

I don't look at anyone's diary - friend or not - unless they're asking a question related to it.

KrissyMuree wrote: »

PharmGirl522 wrote: »

I've only deleted one person from my friends list...and that had nothing to do with her calorie patterns or food choices. She just saw fit to comment on a status update I made, to inform me that "the word god should always be capitalized unless you are referring to a false idol."

....Um....no. *delete* I'm here to track my *kitten* food, not get a *kitten* lecture on religion and the proper way in which to refer to religious figures.

Anyway. It's up to each individual person who they want to have as friends here. If they aren't fitting the image of who you want to be friends with, then delete them. No explanation necessary.

I would have deleted her so fast her head would have spun.
Agreed!

Believe me, I did. I was tempted to message her and ask her exactly who she thought she was, but then I decided against it. I don't give a damn who she is or who she *thinks* she is, there's no way I'm putting up with that garbage.

She was on my friends list for a grand total of...well, I didn't count, but she didn't make it a full 24 hours. That was the first comment she made on my feed, and it was damn well going to be her last.

PharmGirl522 wrote: »

KrissyMuree wrote: »

PharmGirl522 wrote: »

I've only deleted one person from my friends list...and that had nothing to do with her calorie patterns or food choices. She just saw fit to comment on a status update I made, to inform me that "the word god should always be capitalized unless you are referring to a false idol."

....Um....no. *delete* I'm here to track my *kitten* food, not get a *kitten* lecture on religion and the proper way in which to refer to religious figures.

Anyway. It's up to each individual person who they want to have as friends here. If they aren't fitting the image of who you want to be friends with, then delete them. No explanation necessary.

I would have deleted her so fast her head would have spun.
Agreed!

Believe me, I did. I was tempted to message her and ask her exactly who she thought she was, but then I decided against it. I don't give a damn who she is or who she *thinks* she is, there's no way I'm putting up with that garbage.

She was on my friends list for a grand total of...well, I didn't count, but she didn't make it a full 24 hours. That was the first comment she made on my feed, and it was damn well going to be her last.

I seriously can't blame you. Who knows what else she would have come up with.

If it bothers you, then I would delete them, personally. Though, bear in mind that there are some people out there like me who frequently eat their calorie goal or more, but who are consistently inconsistent about not logging everything out of laziness or what have you.

I don't have an arbitrary cutoff -- for example, there's someone on my friend list who eats under 1200 but that's because due to her age, height and stats, she's one of those rare people for whom that goal actually is appropriate, and she's being supervised medically on her weight loss, so I know she has a healthy approach.

But yes, if I see people on my friend list who are clearly indulging in unhealthy behaviours, like eating VLCDs in combination with posting things that lead me to believe they're pro-ana or pro-mia, then I delete them. I don't support that at all, and I don't need that sort of noise in my feed.

Unless they ask for advice, though, I don't go offering it unsolicited. I'll comment on people's food diaries sometimes, usually to drool over something delicious-sounding or to request a recipe. Occasionally if someone I interact with regularly has a few very low days in a row (when they don't typically eat that low), I might PM them to make sure everything's okay. But other than that, I figure if people want advice, they'll ask for it.

Everyone's journey is their own. If what you need for your personal journey is to surround yourself with like-minded people who motivate you to healthy habits, then go for it and delete the noise.

I have only deleted two people for following a VLCD diet. One of those people had their diary private, but they would constantly post that it's closed because they were eating very little and even though they knew what they were doing was dangerous, they didn't want comments about it. I just silently deleted them. There are many people that know what they are doing is unhealthy but don't care because lowering the number on the scale is their only priority.

If someone messaged me telling me they didn't agree with/want to support my eating habits and that they would unfriend me, or start giving me advice I didn't ask for, I would unfriend them first! I just cannot with people who think they can tell me things without even knowing the full story, or what else goes on in my life. There've been plenty of days where I start logging but don't finish for whatever reasons and it looks like I've had practically nothing to eat. Plus, I prefer to eat a bit less during the week so I can have something really nice and treat-ish on the weekends. It's also good for the times I "oops" and have a bit more to eat of something than I should.

Akaja wrote: »

If someone messaged me telling me they didn't agree with/want to support my eating habits and that they would unfriend me, or start giving me advice I didn't ask for, I would unfriend them first! I just cannot with people who think they can tell me things without even knowing the full story, or what else goes on in my life. There've been plenty of days where I start logging but don't finish for whatever reasons and it looks like I've had practically nothing to eat. Plus, I prefer to eat a bit less during the week so I can have something really nice and treat-ish on the weekends. It's also good for the times I "oops" and have a bit more to eat of something than I should.

Exactly! Its not like I don't eat! My cal goal was 1860! I sometimes go over. I was netting low bc fitbit was giving me extra calories for work and such. But ive been working for years and that didnt get me skinny! I eat like 4 meals plus snacks a day. Like real food too. Probably too much lol. And i also net low somedays, so i can have a nice dinner out or starbucks for when i want it. Unless ive asked, I dont see how its anyones business. People can be so judgemental sometimes. Especially behind a computer. If everyone on mfp judged others or told them what they thought in a rude way, no one would be here. I dont say anything when friends net 1000, and i dont say anything when they eat mcdonalds five days in a row. Even if people ask, i try to be kind and understanding.

callsitlikeiseeit wrote: »

JenniferInCt wrote: »

Akaja wrote: »

If someone messaged me telling me they didn't agree with/want to support my eating habits and that they would unfriend me, or start giving me advice I didn't ask for, I would unfriend them first! I just cannot with people who think they can tell me things without even knowing the full story, or what else goes on in my life. There've been plenty of days where I start logging but don't finish for whatever reasons and it looks like I've had practically nothing to eat. Plus, I prefer to eat a bit less during the week so I can have something really nice and treat-ish on the weekends. It's also good for the times I "oops" and have a bit more to eat of something than I should.

Exactly! Its not like I don't eat! My cal goal was 1860! I sometimes go over. I was netting low bc fitbit was giving me extra calories for work and such. But ive been working for years and that didnt get me skinny! I eat like 4 meals plus snacks a day. Like real food too. Probably too much lol. And i also net low somedays, so i can have a nice dinner out or starbucks for when i want it. Unless ive asked, I dont see how its anyones business. People can be so judgemental sometimes. Especially behind a computer. If everyone on mfp judged others or told them what they thought in a rude way, no one would be here. I dont say anything when friends net 1000, and i dont say anything when they eat mcdonalds five days in a row. Even if people ask, i try to be kind and understanding.

ive never thought you were dangerously low. LOL

LOL! Thank you! See- someone who knows i eat too much! Hahaha

I rarely look at other people's diaries and keep mine closed. So what if someone eats under or over your pre-set notion of number of calories? Why did you friend them in the first place? Unrequested advice can be very hurtful, but most people won't even notice if you unfriend them.