Yep, male chauvanism still exists
So last night in between clients, one of the guys I play fantasy football with, brought in a guest. I was razzing him about me winning the championship and he shot back "well if I had your time at home and was a stay at home dad, I'd probably have all the updated info to beat you!"
And that's when the guest interjected. "You're a stay at home dad? So you do all the work a woman is supposed to do at home? I don't think that I could handle doing that."
I replied, " It's actually not that difficult if you have a system in place."
He stated "Yeah, but I wouldn't feel as much of man if I wasn't the one bringing home the bacon."
Now personally, I could give a crap about how he may have viewed me as a "man". But I gotta figure that his SO isn't probably getting a fair shake at home. The reply of "that's what a woman is supposed to do", just made me realize that even in the very liberal area I live in, male chauvinism still exists with some.
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And that's when the guest interjected. "You're a stay at home dad? So you do all the work a woman is supposed to do at home? I don't think that I could handle doing that."
I replied, " It's actually not that difficult if you have a system in place."
He stated "Yeah, but I wouldn't feel as much of man if I wasn't the one bringing home the bacon."
Now personally, I could give a crap about how he may have viewed me as a "man". But I gotta figure that his SO isn't probably getting a fair shake at home. The reply of "that's what a woman is supposed to do", just made me realize that even in the very liberal area I live in, male chauvinism still exists with some.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
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Replies
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Yikes! That would not fly in my house. Not only am I the main breadwinner, my BF does most of the cleaning and taking care of the kids since I travel so much for work. SMH\0
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I got divorced for a reason. Just sayin'.0
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My husband and I work opposite shifts. I work 6am to 2:30 pm, he works 3pm to 12:20 am. He is a stay at home dad during the day and I take my turn in the evening. I think it's great that dads want to be so involved with their kids! Any idiot can be a dad, but it takes a real man to be a father! Good on you!0
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Was this a post about chauvinism or a hidden brag post about winning your fantasy football championship?0
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Holy crap. That guy is a choad. His partner must be miserable.
I'm the main breadwinner myself; I work more hours for pay. Hubby and I split up the chores. We do not have kids. I occasionally ask him to take on more things when I'm on a tight deadline and just don't have enough hours to do my usual chores. What a woman is "supposed" to do, he says? Screw that. It is up to a couple to negotiate how they want to handle the responsibilities, not somehow intrinsically assigned according to what type of junk someone has in their pants. He'll end up old and lonely. Women get sick of that nonsense.0 -
I'd love to be a stay at home dad.0
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Nice job on winning your fantasy football championship! Next question did you throat punch the idiot?0
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beckyml1980 wrote: »My husband and I work opposite shifts. I work 6am to 2:30 pm, he works 3pm to 12:20 am. He is a stay at home dad during the day and I take my turn in the evening. I think it's great that dads want to be so involved with their kids! Any idiot can be a dad, but it takes a real man to be a father! Good on you!
This exactly! Good for you!
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beckyml1980 wrote: »
+1.....I would so kick your *kitten* in FF0 -
And might I add! Any person with kids knows that being an at home parent gives you anything but "all the time in the world" to have to yourself..... I agree with Machelle04.... throat punch would have been totally appropriate in this case0
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I don't think that is necessarily insulting nor chauvinist. Everyone has a different way of doing things and some people are genuinely surprised if traditional roles are not upheld in a household.0
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Lol, not only did I win the gym FFL, I won in our money league too!!!Was this a post about chauvinism or a hidden brag post about winning your fantasy football championship?
Hmmmm, maybe the guest was just hatin' on me.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
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Yea, I think a lot of people still run into that attitude, I do as well very regularly. Nothing wrong with being a stay at home dad, it's hard work and has AT LEAST as much impact as bringing home the bacon, considering you are shaping the daily lives and experiences of your children HUGELY. You are raising your kids, that's a damn important job and very underrated. Parents make or break their kids more often than not. That's a big responsibility.0
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I stayed home with my two boys until they were about five years (and worked from home after that). I always felt that, though people pay lip service to greater male involvement in parenting and the death of stereotypes, people couldn't really handle it and did not appreciate it much.
I never heard any direct, negative comments like you heard. But, definitely, men did not know how to talk with me about what I did. They could, and would, ask about Bob's job or Steve's day at the office. But mine just never came up.
I also felt it was pretty hard to be the male at home because the other people who stay home with their kids are mostly women -- very traditional women -- and most are not comfortable at all with a man in their midst.
I would never trade my days at home for anything. But, for those reason, I would never recommend that a man stay home to parent.0 -
I don't believe in throat punching.machelle04 wrote: »Nice job on winning your fantasy football championship! Next question did you throat punch the idiot?
A disabling Muay Thai kick to the knee is a better choice.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
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I'm not entirely sure how this is male chauvinism. More like one man being insecure about his masculinity and needing to degrade another man in order to make himself feel validated.
There's nothing wrong with gender roles, and there is nothing wrong with parents mixing or switching them. What is wrong are people who view that their way is the right way and by doing it any differently is grounds for burning at the stake.
I agree with "Any *kitten* can be a dad, but it takes a real man to be a father." However, there is no one correct way to be a man or a father.
Except for throat punching someone for sharing his ignorance and making a public display of his low self esteem. That's just acting cowardly. The real man would just shrug it off and carry on with his day.0 -
So last night in between clients, one of the guys I play fantasy football with, brought in a guest. I was razzing him about me winning the championship and he shot back "well if I had your time at home and was a stay at home dad, I'd probably have all the updated info to beat you!"
And that's when the guest interjected. "You're a stay at home dad? So you do all the work a woman is supposed to do at home? I don't think that I could handle doing that."
I replied, " It's actually not that difficult if you have a system in place."
He stated "Yeah, but I wouldn't feel as much of man if I wasn't the one bringing home the bacon."
Now personally, I could give a crap about how he may have viewed me as a "man". But I gotta figure that his SO isn't probably getting a fair shake at home. The reply of "that's what a woman is supposed to do", just made me realize that even in the very liberal area I live in, male chauvinism still exists with some.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
I owned my own service business - 50 employees all on the road and at job sites.
I was a single mother.
Parenting - or as your buddy's guest put it - woman's work is the hardest thing I have ever done...as challenging as briging home the bacon. I used to go to work to rest.
I knew a couple from a very affluent area of town and he stayed home to raise kids and they lied about it ...i thought that was a little short sighted...what a great role model to other parents and fathers...but to lie about it. wow.
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Everything is wrong with gender roles. What a person "should" or "should not" do is has NOTHING to do with their gender. A woman is supposed to do whatever she dang well pleases. There is no "woman's job" and no "man's job". If staying home with your kids doesn't make you feel like a man, then you're probably not much of one to begin with.0
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I don't believe in throat punching.machelle04 wrote: »Nice job on winning your fantasy football championship! Next question did you throat punch the idiot?
A disabling Muay Thai kick to the knee is a better choice.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
Nice I gotta quit watching "identity theft" it's making me want to throat punch people! I wouldn't sweat his comments sounds like he's insecure!0 -
Everything is wrong with gender roles. What a person "should" or "should not" do is has NOTHING to do with their gender. A woman is supposed to do whatever she dang well pleases. There is no "woman's job" and no "man's job". If staying home with your kids doesn't make you feel like a man, then you're probably not much of one to begin with.
You say there's no "man's job" and "woman's job" but tell that to my kitchen. Seriously, tell it to my kitchen. Tell it to my kitchen while you're making me a sandwich.
I'll pass, but maybe my BF can as he's the one that does all of the cooking in the house.0 -
My husband is a stay at home dad. He works a heck of a lot harder than I do, that's for sure. I actually laughed out loud at the idea that a stay at home parent somehow has tons of spare time to just sit around and stare at walls and stuff.
We have both heard some positive and negative things about him staying home. And some things are just crazy.
To me: "Oh, so you wear the pants, eh?" um..wut.
To me: "How can you just leave your kids behind and choose to work and let your husband sit around with the kids all day?" Oh, thanks for the guilt trip. We didn't choose for my husband to be a stay at home dad, it just happened.
To my husband: "Wow, your wife brings home the paycheck, does that make you feel like less of a man?"
To my husband: "Do you do all the womanly things like cooking and cleaning too?"
Some of the things people say (and think) are just strange.0 -
Everything is wrong with gender roles. What a person "should" or "should not" do is has NOTHING to do with their gender. A woman is supposed to do whatever she dang well pleases. There is no "woman's job" and no "man's job". If staying home with your kids doesn't make you feel like a man, then you're probably not much of one to begin with.
You say there's no "man's job" and "woman's job" but tell that to my kitchen. Seriously, tell it to my kitchen. Tell it to my kitchen while you're making me a sandwich.
I'll pass, but maybe my BF can as he's the one that does all of the cooking in the house.
No thanks. I only want a sandwich prepared by a woman's hands. That's not the job of a man.-5 -
Everything is wrong with gender roles. What a person "should" or "should not" do is has NOTHING to do with their gender. A woman is supposed to do whatever she dang well pleases. There is no "woman's job" and no "man's job". If staying home with your kids doesn't make you feel like a man, then you're probably not much of one to begin with.
You say there's no "man's job" and "woman's job" but tell that to my kitchen. Seriously, tell it to my kitchen. Tell it to my kitchen while you're making me a sandwich.
I'll pass, but maybe my BF can as he's the one that does all of the cooking in the house.
No thanks. I only want a sandwich prepared by a woman's hands. That's not the job of a man.
I guess you're SOL then. He happens to make a killer sandwich.0 -
I think any woman could have told you that LOL
for years, I worked and my husband stayed home. then we switched. now he's disabled and cant work, and i work at home so i can look after him (and kids, and pets).
sexism exists. racism exists. homophobia exists. sucks, but it does, even in todays world.0 -
alywei3773 wrote: »I don't think that is necessarily insulting nor chauvinist. Everyone has a different way of doing things and some people are genuinely surprised if traditional roles are not upheld in a household.
This.0 -
I'd be a great stay at home dad... Too bad I hate kids.0
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Everything is wrong with gender roles. What a person "should" or "should not" do is has NOTHING to do with their gender. A woman is supposed to do whatever she dang well pleases. There is no "woman's job" and no "man's job". If staying home with your kids doesn't make you feel like a man, then you're probably not much of one to begin with.
You say there's no "man's job" and "woman's job" but tell that to my kitchen. Seriously, tell it to my kitchen. Tell it to my kitchen while you're making me a sandwich.
I'll pass, but maybe my BF can as he's the one that does all of the cooking in the house.
No thanks. I only want a sandwich prepared by a woman's hands. That's not the job of a man.
With cutting-edge jokes like that, I imagine Comedy Central is beating down your door to get you a stand up special!
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*facepalm* what an ignorant thing to say to someone and he sounds old school as that sounds like something my dad would say back in the 70's. One of my former colleagues is a proud stay at home father who works from home. He is an all around great guy to work with, one of his conditions of employment was to be able to work from home so that he could deal with child care.0
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