"You're too skinny!" Do others ever make you question your maintenance weight?

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Replies

  • arditarose
    arditarose Posts: 15,573 Member
    dakotababy wrote: »
    I would just reply with "you are having issues adjusting to my appearance - which should be none of your business anyway."

    I like that.
  • Christine_72
    Christine_72 Posts: 16,049 Member
    How do you reply when they say "you look sick, and your face is too withdrawn" ??
  • arditarose
    arditarose Posts: 15,573 Member
    christinev297 wrote: »
    How do you reply when they say "you look sick, and your face is too withdrawn" ??

    My boss told me that the other day. In a round about way. She seemed genuinely concerned and I didn't take it well. I went home to look for myself. I should have just told her I was tired.
  • Christine_72
    Christine_72 Posts: 16,049 Member
    I just cant see it myself! Like I said before I lost weight first in the places I didn't need to lose weight from... my face, arms and collarbone. My tummy paunch is nearly gone, but not quite.
  • Liftng4Lis
    Liftng4Lis Posts: 15,151 Member
    Tell them to mind their own business.
  • maggierenee88
    maggierenee88 Posts: 352 Member
    Ya it's a touchy subject ladies.... the first time I heard it, I was taken aback because those words had never been uttered to me before. I felt proud that my hard work was showing off but by about the 10th person saying it to me I didn't feel good about it anymore. I usually just laugh and say to each their own, I feel good so don't worry about Me. I'm 135 and 5'6....goal is 130.

    I agree with the comments about people adjusting to seeing our bodies smaller, and some people have a hard time with that. The criticism I have received has been from close friends and family, but recently a colleague made a comment. I started this job 3 months ago and have been this size for awhile now, so I was a bit shocked That so,eine who has never seen me large would say that.

    I still don't know how to feel. Like the rest of you I'm within healthy weight and Bmi range. Good to have forums like these to work these feelings out. :smile:
  • ashesfromfire
    ashesfromfire Posts: 867 Member
    In my experience, the people who make these comments could almost always stand to be more active/have healthier life styles. My 400ish pound father being a huge example of this, or all the over weight middle age ladys I work with. I think its maybe just them voicing some insecurity.
  • HugoMartinez66
    HugoMartinez66 Posts: 257 Member
    edited March 2015
    Having gone from 200lbs down to 170lbs I sometimes get that.
  • airangel59
    airangel59 Posts: 1,887 Member
    I'm getting it now but I'm not questioning the weight I'm trying to maintain right now.

    I'm 5' 5.5" and I too am trying to get used to the new thinner me (lost #150) since started here spring 2012. I'll take this weight ANYDAY over where I started (dropped not only the weight, but 5 meds and 3 diseases) and I AM in the healthy range for my BMI.

    But yep, most of the comments are coming from folks who um could use to lose a few lbs of their own. LOL.
  • Rockmaker
    Rockmaker Posts: 37 Member
    I get the "look he's withering away" type comments along with the "don't you think you're being a little extreme?" Of course I'm not doing either of those. And I've never had a fit and healthy person say those things. Maybe what they really mean to say is "you look great now and I wish it was me looking great instead of you"...
  • annekka
    annekka Posts: 517 Member
    I get the same, nobody understands why I'm wanting to do a body recomp and drop some fat and gain some muscle. They think I don't have a drop of fat and am perfect as is. I'm thin compared with them, but I still have a ways to go. I"ve yet to figure out the right answer to shut them up, so I wish you luck
  • allaboutthecake
    allaboutthecake Posts: 1,535 Member
    I'd be like, "Okay, let's go get some ice-cream! You Pay!" lol
  • kirstinlee
    kirstinlee Posts: 152 Member
    I'm a part of the losing weight club right now, but when I took the weight off the first time and was in maintenance, I got told those things all the time. A lot of it came from my morbidly obese family. I think there's two things at play when people say things like this: people get used to you the way you are and don't like change, and you losing weight makes them realize that they might have a few pounds to lose, too. Not saying this is true in every case, but for me it was normally one of those two.
  • desi9837
    desi9837 Posts: 27 Member
    ElkeKNJ wrote: »
    When I first got that comment three years ago, it was all I needed to eat all the weight back again, and even more. This time round, I'll try to keep the weight off, and not listen to those comments. It is hard enough as it is not trying to overeat. I am too short for my weight....

    The same happened to me many years ago and I regained all my weight and more. However, I got back on the bandwagon a year ago and I'm the healthiest I've ever been. I'm really happy with the way I look now, but the other week someone commented that I was too skinny. These weeks I've been really stressed out with maintaining that I've gained back a kilo.

    I honestly do not wish to go back. My clothes look great on me and I can buy whatever I want. I understand that in the end, it's only up to me to maintain my healthy weight, but it's harder than I expected. :( I will do my best.
  • katiejanecollins
    katiejanecollins Posts: 236 Member
    Ugh, yes.

    My mum has been saying this constantly recently: "I think you should stop now, you're looking skinny". Usually I'd just ignore it, but yesterday I said this: "Mum, thanks for caring, but I'm honestly fine. I'm far healthier than I used to be, not to mention happier, and I'm pretty far from skinny. Google my weight." She did, and when she saw I was 8st8(ish) as opposed to the 7st she assumed I was - she stopped nagging. Bless her, mums are worriers.

    On the other hand, my entire family is always saying "wouldn't you rather just enjoy food?", which bugs the hell out of me. I do enjoy food, just in smaller portions. That cake in the kitchen? I had some, just a smaller slice than what I'd have had a year ago.

    Like most things in life, most people won't understand what you're doing unless they're doing it themselves :)
  • scrittrice
    scrittrice Posts: 345 Member
    Losing a substantial amount of weight is as mental as it is physical, and I guess it's a mental struggle for other people to deal with your weight loss, too, to a certain extent. Also, I've realized that people do not know how to phrase compliments (or accept them, but that's another issue). I think for a lot of people, "skinny" is a positive thing. (To me, it sounds unfit and unhealthy.) Personally, I don't comment on people's bodies and I never have, because I think it's inappropriate, but a lot of people have never gotten that memo. I'd guess most people think they're paying you a compliment, or giving you "permission" to eat, which is obnoxious, but I suppose well-meaning. Your body and its size and shape are the business of two people: you and your doctor. Ignore the rest.
  • heathersmilez
    heathersmilez Posts: 2,579 Member
    As a response I would stick with correcting them in a polite but firm way and then thanking them because that’s what they are doing either out of concern or jealousy, the intent is there. I.e. "I'm healthy and strong, thank you". The bluntness of this response doesn't leave an opening to continue discussing what you eat and how often you exercise. Take it as a compliment and move on.
  • floetrylove
    floetrylove Posts: 8 Member
    arahn777 wrote: »
    I haven't ever posted before, but appreciate the support that this forum offers and want to get in on it! Lately, I've been in need of support from those who understand the struggles of weight loss and maintenance.

    Since the fall of 2013, I went from 180lbs to 125lbs (female, 5'6") and have been maintaining at 125 (+/- 2lbs) for the past 6 months. As time goes on, I have gotten more and more serious about exercise and specifically running. I really enjoy seeing where my body can take me and it's motivating to break my personal records and times while running.

    In the process, my body fat percentage has dropped to around 18% and while I am happy with the way I look, a lot of people around me keep making comments like "you're too skinny" or "you had better not lose any more weight". It's not just 1 or 2 people either -- it's many of those I am close to and even family members. It really makes me second guess myself and question whether I have some kind of body dysmorphia or eating disorder even though I am within the healthy range for BMI and I eat between 1800-2300 calories/day (depending on how much I work out).

    Has anyone else dealt with this? How do you respond to comments like this?

  • floetrylove
    floetrylove Posts: 8 Member
    Yes! I hear it all the time and I question myself and this weight loss journey as well. It bothers me when people say " you're to skinny" but I love the new me and the energy is amazing. As long as I love this body who cares what everyone else says:- ) 248 lbs. To 188 lbs
  • lithezebra
    lithezebra Posts: 3,670 Member
    I like it when people say I'm too skinny, even though I'm not really too skinny.
  • jenglish712
    jenglish712 Posts: 497 Member
    If you ever watch an old live TV show... like the Ed Sullivan that show teenagers from the 1950s in the US, they seem really skinny, almost underweight. Then I think that we just expect everyone to be at least a little overweight now.
  • Christine_72
    Christine_72 Posts: 16,049 Member
    lithezebra wrote: »
    I like it when people say I'm too skinny, even though I'm not really too skinny.

    Exactly!! Me too :smile:
  • baschwal
    baschwal Posts: 2 Member
    I come by height and thinness genetically, but I do try to eat healthy and workout regularly. I've always been within a healthy weight as far as BMI is concerned, but I've heard plenty of the degrading skinny comments, too. Even after most of your friend/family group gets adjusted to your new look, be prepared for some people to still be rude. Like one poster said, people would never made the same comments about fat people, but for some reason once you're thin some people think it's acceptable to comment inappropriately. I'll never forget when I was at a relatively new job and had a somewhat overweight coworker tell me 'jokingly' that my thinness was disgusting. Gee, thanks. That makes me feel great. I think it's a way to try to deal with their own dissatisfaction with themselves.
  • Christine_72
    Christine_72 Posts: 16,049 Member
    I don't take someone telling me I'm too skinny as an insult though. It just gets annoying when they continuously say it. Like they have to say it 1000 times to drum it in to me :huh:
  • xmichaelyx
    xmichaelyx Posts: 883 Member
    I recommend this shirt: make_you_look_fat.jpg
  • SLLRunner
    SLLRunner Posts: 12,942 Member
    Yes, I've gotten comments about getting too skinny, don't lose anymore, on and on. As you can tell from my profile picture, where I'm trying to move that ball cemented to the front of Target, I am just about right or, as Grandpa used to say, I'm right for my weight and tall for my height.

    I eat anywhere from 1960 to 2300 calories a day, depending on my cardio and I'm doing just fine.
  • dakotababy
    dakotababy Posts: 2,407 Member
    OMG. You guys wont believe what happened on my shift. Luckily, just prior to going to work tonight - I was reading this thread. Ugh. I am not even at my goal weight and I just received my first "your getting very skinny" comment. I have had a few hours to reflect on it since.

    I can not help but feel defensive about it. It also made me second guess my plan of action at this time, which is what really bothers me the most. Thank god I have MFP and everyone who has commented on this thread, luckily I was able to use some of the suggestions since they were fresh in my mind.

    I really like the idea of only taking an opinion of one who is already fit and in awesome shape. Otherwise, the opinion is invalid. I had a lady who mentioned that we are looking the same weight, and that I am starting to get very skinny, which she was implying "too skinny" after asking her more about her comment. I held my cool, but I did not stand my ground very well. Of course, I went and thought about how she was just compairing the two of us, before she made that comment.

    Anyway - thanks again everyone! :D Obviously I read the comments before work to prepare me for what was to come, without knowing.
  • 4legsRbetterthan2
    4legsRbetterthan2 Posts: 19,590 MFP Moderator
    Other people already mentioned the "you seem skinnier because you lost weight" idea, and I think thats it. I think a simple "I am at a healthy weight according to BMI or your doctor" reply is good. If they still are not convinced sometimes I think it is helpful to put it in perspective, if you have a friend or family memeber who is about your size and does not mind you using them as an example sometimes its helpful to have a comparison.
  • nanaoftwo0614
    nanaoftwo0614 Posts: 59 Member
    I would say "Thank you" and then change the subject and throw it back on them. I would say something like have you gotten your hair cut or how is your job going. Most of the time they don't expect you to put the ball back in their court. If I was where I wanted to be with my weight, I would be happy and, I know this is hard to do, but not worry about what others say. Best of luck.
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