A comment about your weight that still bothers you...

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  • Mariposa187
    Mariposa187 Posts: 344 Member
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    I love my grandmother dearly, but sometimes she's poison. When I was 15 my mom was talking to her about my weight and my grandmother popped off with "There's nothing wrong with her that sewing her mouth shut for 3 weeks won't cure." You would have thought that if I'd lost weight she'd have let up right? Nope, about a year later I was 40 pounds lighter and she was harping on my mother that she needed watch me because I was probably anorexic. When mom pointed out that I was eating, a lot, she replied with "Well you'll probably catch her later with her finger down her throat." :angry:

    I find that so annoying and irritating... My grandmother is the same way... no pleasing some people... She was one of the major reason i lost weight before i started high school. She always talked about how fat i was and then after i lost the weight (by harding eating and lots of exercising and numerous headaches) she started saying i was too skinny and my face looked like a spirit (ghostly and sunken).
  • Mariposa187
    Mariposa187 Posts: 344 Member
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    My sister in law said in front of everyone in party, I should take care of my big belly (I weigh 142 lbs then). My husband tells me everyday how ugly and short I look because of my weight.:cry: My another sister-in law who is 12 years older me said, I look so older than her because of my weight.:mad:
    I have hypothyroid and had always struggle with weight gain and depression.

    I know this happens to people everywhere but i think that the indian culture puts an emphasis on being thin tothe point that it is overbearing. My aunt is in the same boat as you. Her husband does not even walk with her out in public. I think it is ridiculous the way indian culture puts so much pressure on women to be skinny, be the obedient wife, and do everything to please everyone else. I am sick of it...
  • liftingbro
    liftingbro Posts: 2,029 Member
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    The one that got me was a couple of years ago my nephew was talking with my brother inlaw (his dad). My other brother in law is also named Mike (same as me). My nephew was refering to me in the conversation and to clarify which "uncle Mike" he was talking about he refered to me "Fat Uncle Mike". He didn't realize I heard it and I don't think he meant to be mean but that one hurt.
  • carmenvo
    carmenvo Posts: 34
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    Not a comment, but just the look of my mom. The "head to toe" look when you walk into the kitchen says enough. My mom was obese when she was young and she wanted that we would not go to the same as she did, but the look did hurt. Or the look every time you want to pick up your fork or another slice of bread. My mom now only eats like five bites of any food, and I would hate it if I have to eat like that for the rest of my life.
  • Mairgheal
    Mairgheal Posts: 385 Member
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    My sister in law said in front of everyone in party, I should take care of my big belly (I weigh 142 lbs then). My husband tells me everyday how ugly and short I look because of my weight.:cry: My another sister-in law who is 12 years older me said, I look so older than her because of my weight.:mad:
    I have hypothyroid and had always struggle with weight gain and depression.

    Your HUSBAND?? Seriously, that is not on, how dare he talking to you like that. That is so sad :brokenheart:
  • 5kqueen
    5kqueen Posts: 6
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    I had a friend that said "I really llike you but your weight bothers me" he got kicked to the curb

    Then my sister and i were in vegas and we were taking pics of every thing,, Every pic we took of us together she would say "OMG I look as big as you"

    I don't think she meant it in a mean way but still the comment hurt. So I get a little satisfaction when she gains weight LOL

    I am trying to not let them have the power over me. People can be so mean but we have to be able to let it go. Easier said then done right??
  • corinnak
    corinnak Posts: 51 Member
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    I find it strange that when a boy is heavier all he (USUALLY) hears is "wow, you could be a linebacker". But when it's a girl she hears rude and just plain mean words. I was so thin I was called a "toothpick". Too big.....too little....too wide.....too narrow.
    When is it just right? NEVER! And WHO decides? If we're white.....it's we need to tan more. If we're black ... we need to lighten up.
    If our hair is curly...we try to straighen it. If our hair is straight we curl it. ENOUGH GIRLS! Don't let anyone define who we are. We just are and that's good enough.

    *****especially if it comes from a pot bellied, bald headed , brainless you know what!

    I love this. Who does decide? Who does it serve to have us feel so badly about our appearance, whatever it may be?

    It seems like in the case of all these negative comments, half the time the person is just not even thinking of how what they say could make the other person feel, but the other half of the time, they are actively trying to feel less bad about their own selves by stomping on someone else.
  • Katherine_Nelson
    Katherine_Nelson Posts: 70 Member
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    heh, where to start?

    - i told my second to last boyfriend that i was going to try out for soccer and he asked, "why? youll be the fattest one on the feild"
    ...cant believe that one still bothers me after all this time.

    -my grandmother constantly tells me i need to do sit ups. and i can remember all the specific times she has.

    - my mother and i were in and argument out side one day and she told me to "get my fat *kitten* in the house"
    I think that one hurts the most.

    its funny how i chose to remember all of the times my feelings have been hurt. i dont think i believe compliments anymore.
  • mamarundrc
    mamarundrc Posts: 1,577 Member
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    My comment came from a complete stranger. This was about 3 years ago. I was holding my nephew when he was 2 months old and someone was commenting on how cute he was. Then they looked at me and said "And you look great for just having a baby" Problem was, I had never been pregnant or had a baby.
  • Noonoo757
    Noonoo757 Posts: 280 Member
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    I was at a Macy's and I asked the clerk"where is your Guess line"? She then turned to me and said" I don't think we carry it in your size bit if we do have large and extra large its gonna be over there somewhere" she pointed to different section of the store, I was in the misses dept and was so hurt she was loud and said it while she had customers in line and she was twice my size!!!! Cow!!! Lol
  • dls06
    dls06 Posts: 6,774 Member
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    flab
  • lcoulter23
    lcoulter23 Posts: 568 Member
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    I just remembered some my ex boyfriend told me.

    -You look like a 400 pound penguin with a pumpkin on its head. I was 180 at that time, nowhere close to 400 pound
    -You won't get a part in that play because you suck as an actress and you are too fat. I not only got a part in the play, but I was told that I was a great actress and could probably pull off any part I tried.
    -You need to eat more, but don't gain weight.
    -You are pretty, but not beautiful.
    -when asked if I was his girlfriend he said "No she's just my really good friend." This was said in front of my parents at a basketball game not an hour after he said that someday he was going to marry me. I dumped him a couple months later, right after the play incident. I should also mention that he joined the cast of a different play the same weekend as mine just so he wouldn't have to go see the one I was in. There were also the various lies about how his mother said I was a bad influence on him and that it was my fault that he was failing in school because I distracted him (even though I went to college too, at a different one to boot and was getting straight A's. If anything I told him to study more and do his work and bother me less when I was trying to work) He also stole over 2600 bucks out of my bank account and somehow got the pin number to my atm card. It went missing during the summer we worked at Cedar Point together, I reported it missing to the bank, and when he got back it mysteriously showed back up in my locker in my dorm room, which he somehow got the key to while I was at work.


    There is also the one my best friend told me about a year ago:
    You have PCOS, the only way you will ever be able to lose weight is if you get surgery. It is impossible to do it normally. HA! I'm doing it now!
  • MerryKhaos
    MerryKhaos Posts: 34 Member
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    When i was in eigth grade, shopping for new clothes for the school year, I wasn't fitting in anything my mother gave me. I remember hearing her outisde the fitting room crying because her daughter was a size 12 at the age of 13, while she had never been more than a size 4.

    It's so hard hearing ugly criticism like that. (at least mine wasn't to my face) People can be so mean (I worked in a bridal shop for a while. Mothers and sisters are nasty people soemtimes)

    I'm glad that you're motivated to change, but you have to find the reasons within yourself, and regardless, know that you're beautiful. Cut off the damn hair! It'll liberate you and motivate you MORE to lose the weight, I'm sure!

    Good luck on your journey!
  • Janeta58
    Janeta58 Posts: 59 Member
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    Good for you for taking charge of your own life! I always remind myself that when someone says something hurtful to me or about me, it says more about them than it does me. I let it go. If I don't, then I am giving the other person power over me. That's one of the nice things about growing older, words don't bother me like they did when I was younger :smile:
  • lmvrbaby
    lmvrbaby Posts: 30 Member
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    I was always thin throughout my childhood....When I was pregnant with my first son I gained a ton of weight to which the dr. that delivered him said you are going to have to buy your new wardrobe at the queen size shop.....Well when I went back for my 6 week check up, I had lost all that weight and an additional 12 pounds. Since then I have had three more boys, gained ton of weight with each, lost most except for a nagging 15 pounds, got injured on the job doing home care, gained more weight, had back surgery, gained more weight from not being able to do things and from the meds I was on.....Now I can't do everything I did before, but I am doing what I can and learning to do Zumba and enjoying it. I am down 10, would like to be down another 60.....Wish us all luck....Good luck to everyone! :)
  • Mtsidad
    Mtsidad Posts: 242 Member
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    When I was 12, my mom said she was embarrassed to be seen with me. I look at old pics and I wasn't even that big just chubby. This spiraled me into an eating disorder and I lost 40 pounds....then she was happy to go out with me.

    She still comments on my weight.

    I almost said The Bad Word.

    You don't deserve that. Ever. I'm sorry someone said that to you and has acted that way around you.

    I hope you have since surrounded yourself with friends who love you NO MATTER WHAT.

    For what it's worth, YOU ARE ACCEPTABLE the way you are.

    Man, what a lot of random cruelty gets passed off as "love."
  • Mtsidad
    Mtsidad Posts: 242 Member
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    When I was 12, my mom said she was embarrassed to be seen with me. I look at old pics and I wasn't even that big just chubby. This spiraled me into an eating disorder and I lost 40 pounds....then she was happy to go out with me.

    She still comments on my weight.

    I almost said The Bad Word.

    You don't deserve that. Ever. I'm sorry someone said that to you and has acted that way around you.

    I hope you have since surrounded yourself with friends who love you NO MATTER WHAT.

    For what it's worth, YOU ARE ACCEPTABLE the way you are.

    Man, what a lot of random cruelty gets passed off as "love."
  • dawnrenee567
    dawnrenee567 Posts: 292 Member
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    Oh where to begin;

    My BFF's dad never called me by my name, he always called me Chubs
    The HS boy who told he could date me but no one would be able to find out because he can't date a fattie
    the random strangers that would oink when I would walk by in the mall
    My friends pointing out and laughing at 'fat' people we'd see when we were out (and I KNEW I was as big or bigger)
    My ex blaming ME for his weight gain (couldn't be the several 2 liters he drank each day, or the fact that he sat on his *kitten* each and every day playing video games)

    I have a liftetime of name calling behind me, but know that I'm changing it for the better now. I am so sorry for all of you that have had to suffer because of your own FAMILY. That makes my heart hurt for you :cry:
  • Jain
    Jain Posts: 861 Member
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    I was forever being told 'You've ot footballers legs' when I was a kid. Short and muscular.

    Well I still have the foodballers legs, but they are strong and they can carry me over many miles without any bother. So a big raspberry to all the people who thought it was okay to make an already shy girl even more selfconsious.

    I also got the usual 'Oh you'd be pretty if you lost weight' and all that crap, but I always looked at who was speaking, and believe me, thay weren't exactly oil paintings themselves.:grumble:
  • Tzavush
    Tzavush Posts: 389 Member
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    I was called "CHUUUUUNNNKKK" (just like that ) by everyone on my bus when I was in fifth grade until I went to high school.
    To this day it still bothers me. 9Along with all the horribly mean things that group of bullies did to me)
    When I think about motivations now, that ones at the top of the list, I can't wait to be able to show them the new HOT HOT HOT me.

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