Question about these message boards...

I have gone through some of the threads and notice there is so much ugliness. Are all of the threads like this? I've only read a few and everyone has people being insulting, berating, and down right vicious.

Do "you" use the boards to ask questions, in general, or is it best to stay out of them?

I was hoping that things would be different here. I was hoping for a place that fostered a supportive, communicative environment, but it seems the same as everywhere else online. Sad. I really hope I just found a few nasty threads, not being the norm.

Anyone have any thoughts?
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Replies

  • Afura
    Afura Posts: 2,054 Member
    Not everyone gets that way, I think some people are frustrated when someone gives incorrect advise or information instead of disagreeing it turns into an argument. I like to read a lot of the posts, but just ignore the rabble rousers.
  • KaysKidz
    KaysKidz Posts: 208 Member
    Nope. It's how it is. They don't want to sugar coat it and tell it like it is. They don't want to make you feel good about your choices, excuses etc. They will tell you if you are doing it wrong (in their eyes). No ifs and or big butts about it. :(
  • aaliceinw
    aaliceinw Posts: 747 Member
    There are a lot of posts that are positive but I've noticed it get's ugly when someone either gives bad advice or when the OP asks a question that has been asked hundreds of times already. If the post is too ugly, I just leave and find something more inspirational.
  • debrakgoogins
    debrakgoogins Posts: 2,034 Member
    The forums can be a fantastic source of information though. Don't give up on them. I have learned to do my research before posting a question. Some of the people can get down right mean, especially with subjects like clean eating or IIFYM. When a thread becomes dark and ugly, I just move on. I look at who posts uplifting, positive, informative answers and friend them. I try to surround myself with the positive people!
  • RaeBeeBaby
    RaeBeeBaby Posts: 4,323 Member
    Like many online communities there are negative people and even trolls. However, there are many, many supportive people on MFP. A lot of times people are just giving their best and honest advice and it may come across as being mean or negative.

    You CAN find friends and a supportive environment here. You might want to join a few groups (or even create one) for like-minded people who might have similar weight loss goals or eating plans, etc.

    Personally, I post on the general forum with opinions and sometimes advice, but I rarely start a thread or ask questions. I will do that on my friend's newsfeed or in a group.



  • diannethegeek
    diannethegeek Posts: 14,776 Member
    There are some hot button topics here that tend to get out of hand. There are also a lot of people who prefer to correct misinformation, and often not in a unicorns and sparkles kind of way. There are also also a ton of really helpful posters and good advice. And there are posters who prefer to argue with that advice and or call the advice givers names if they don't like the answers or tone.

    You'll get a lot of opinions in this thread. Some people will tell you that everyone here is terrible. Others will say there's no rudeness and it's all just meant to be humorous. At least one person will tell you that you're taking the internet too seriously and at least one person will insult every single poster here. You'll get a lot of back and forth and eventually this thread will probably be closed.

    I suppose in the end it's up to you to decide whether or not these boards are for you. If they aren't, I hope that you'll explore the groups or at least gather up a group of like-minded friends who can help you through all of this.
  • cdn_beaver
    cdn_beaver Posts: 130 Member
    There is a lot of negativity here so I don't read and post in the main forums often. It's best to join smaller targeted groups to find the helpful, motivating people.
    I just don't understand the point of the people who spend all day on here and post negative comments. Newbie asking a question that's been asked hundreds of times already? DON'T read the thread. Why bother wasting your time with typing out a vicious response? I don't get it.
  • bennettinfinity
    bennettinfinity Posts: 865 Member
    If disagreement qualifies as 'ugliness' to your way of thinking, I'd avoid the forums - they're full of disagreement. But if you are genuinely curious about a topic and want to find differing points of view as potential launching points for your own independent research, dive in...

    As some of the earlier posters have stated, the hot-button topics get pretty heated and the questions that have been asked literally thousands of times will likely not solicit sugar-coated responses. Bad information and misinformation will be attacked with extreme prejudice.

    Despite that, there's a lot of great information - you just have to use your internal filter... take the pieces that might apply to you and leave the rest (including the angst) behind.
  • ginny92802
    ginny92802 Posts: 66 Member
    Message board etiquette in general is to kind of look around a bit and ready stickies before you jump right in and ask a question. Or, search and see if this question has been asked 15 times and most of the threads turned into a knock down drag out. So yeah, people get annoyed by the same question being asked multiple times A DAY, and especially when people get pissy and butthurt about not getting the answer they wanted to hear. I think if you give it time you'll appreciate the "meanies" a bit more. They really are only trying to help. Usually it's the misinformed person who gets hostile and argumentative about it.
  • ew_david
    ew_david Posts: 3,474 Member
    I lurked the boards for a good 6 months before I uttered a peep. The forums are what you make of them: you can weed out the BS and get solid info or you can be appalled about behaviors you see and get nothing.
  • skullshank
    skullshank Posts: 4,328 Member
    it's friiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiday!

    anyone else get bingo?

    bingo-wings-o.gif
  • goingforahundred
    goingforahundred Posts: 590 Member
    I don't ask people anything on the forums. If I want to know something or need advice I will post that to my newsfeed and get it from the friends I have added, or I will read posts in the forum that others have asked. I don't put myself out there for the vultures to swoop down upon. I think certain people just get off on being mean, and they disguise it as being honest or not pulling any punches, not sugar coating it. Whatever, it's all a bunch of bs. Surround yourself with people who are not only able to give advice, but that have some tact about them, too. Good luck!
  • EddieHaskell97
    EddieHaskell97 Posts: 2,227 Member
    Chit-Chat is full of bored trolls.


    Look to the more specific areas for genuine responses.
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 46,188 Member
    As with anything in life, there will be subjective views based on experience. How the boards are perceived is usually going to be assessed on how you personally are.

    If all else fails, just listen to me. I know my schnizz.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

    9285851.png
  • 1princesswarrior
    1princesswarrior Posts: 1,242 Member
    I've started topics and been attacked that I meant to be motivational and then started topics that I thought would end up with a dumpster fire that I received a lot of support from. It all depends on the day, time, sometimes the moon cycle (only somewhat kidding here), etc. A lot of it depends on your wording.

    When I respond no matter what the topic I am not judgmental and try to support my opinions with facts from literature or links to other forums that have literature or a plethera of good information.

    Like Dianne said, there are a lot of topics that will set off a s***storm around here and also a lot of questions that could be answered in the introductory information or by using the search function in the forums. At the same time there are a lot of people that are very "to the point" people who come off as snarky or "mean" when in fact they are actually full of good information but they do not sugarcoat anything and will not validate someone doing something dangerous.

    I would suggest reading many forums and getting a feel for the hot topics and how/what things are said before deciding if they are a place for you. Also, find a supportive group of friends to use as a sounding board first.

    Good luck with MFP
  • MiloBloom83
    MiloBloom83 Posts: 2,723 Member
    I found most of my friends on these boards. That was prior to the "Big Butt-hurt Special Snowflake Invasion of 2013". Before January of 2013, people realized that there is no value in supporting peoples bad decisions. Currently, if i don't "support" your decisions or validate your bad choices, I'm "mean" or i'm "bullying" you. As a result, i help and support my friends only. They have thick skin and know how to look at suggestions objectively.
  • farfromthetree
    farfromthetree Posts: 982 Member
    Get a good friends list going. I friend people who I have liked what they had to say in the forums. If I have a question I generally use my newsfeed. That being said, don't discount those who come off a little blunt. These are the people I now try and follow. They are ones who have been here for years, have been successful and can provide you with a lot of beneficial information.
  • branflakes1980
    branflakes1980 Posts: 2,516 Member
    The problem is not "ugliness" it is that everyone has different opinions on everything and when people have opposing view points this typically causes debate. It's human nature to get defensive in situtions like that. Some people handle situations like this in a mature fashion, some people handle situations like this in a not so grown up way. The same could be said about all aspects of life.
  • Myhaloslipped
    Myhaloslipped Posts: 4,317 Member
    These boards are extremely tame in comparison to everything else I have seen on the internet. I suggest developing a thicker skin before becoming further involved in the social/forum aspect of any site if it bothers you. That is just my advice.
  • JayRuby84
    JayRuby84 Posts: 557 Member
    A lot of folks get ugly on here, but many offer good advice. I've gained friends and sound knowledge from some in the threads. And other times I'm shaking my head like "Did I seriously just read that???!!" Use your brain to filter out the crap. Or add some good smart people to your friends list and post questions on your wall.