Terrified to hit my calories for the day

For me, it was social gatherings and family dinners. Places where I didn't have complete control over my food. They made me anxious, guilty, angry, sad, and a whole lot of other really negative emotions. And I dieted through 4 of my very close friends getting married. There were a lot of social gatherings! When I reached the point that I broke into tears in a restaurant because they were out of quinoa burgers, I needed help. Don't go down this road if you can stop yourself. It's not fun and it can cause all kinds of problems later on.

I'm just like you. I can either binge or not eat enough. I don't know how to eat like a normal person

diannethegeek wrote: »

For me, it was social gatherings and family dinners. Places where I didn't have complete control over my food. They made me anxious, guilty, angry, sad, and a whole lot of other really negative emotions. And I dieted through 4 of my very close friends getting married. There were a lot of social gatherings! When I reached the point that I broke into tears in a restaurant because they were out of quinoa burgers, I needed help. Don't go down this road if you can stop yourself. It's not fun and it can cause all kinds of problems later on.

This! OP, dieting is not sudden death. You don't fall off a cliff, get hit by a truck, or are forced to be 100 lbs overweight forever if you go over your calories every once in a while. So take a deep breathe and take some of the pressure off. You WILL have bad days where you eat more than your plan. No big deal, just get back on the plan tomorrow.

And just to be clear, you SHOULD hit your calorie goal. Your deficit is already built into it. So eat the calories MFP gave you. If you get bonus calories for exercising, eat some of those too. It's said here a lot - there is no prize for the person who eats the lowest calories. Winning is eating as much as you can and still losing weight!

I do the researching, but I see it as a positive to some extent - it may well become a treasure in the long run once you get comfortable with which foods you like! My personal thing is searching 200-300 calorie meals so I can have more of them and things like "desserts under 50 calories". I think now it's been a little while of doing this I know I have a few options and know which ones fill me up best... So I actually feel more relaxed than ever!

I have done, but what has helped is playing around with my settings for speed of weight loss and maintenence and memorising what those calorie goals are, and it helps put it into perspective, so say if I'm over 1,200 (for 2lbs per week) then it doesn't matter so much as long as I'm still under 1,920 (maintenence before exercise) and even if I eat an extra 440cals then I'm still losing, but by 1/2 a pound a week, or an extra 190 by a pound a week- hope that makes sense!

A goal is meant to be met and/or surpassed. Don't be scared of meeting your goal. Your body NEEDS those calories. If you start skimping too much, your body will suffer for it and you may make yourself ill. Do you want to lose weight and be malnourished and ill or do you want to lose weight and be happy and healthy?

courtneyallisonatx wrote: »

I appreciate all the feedback and replies.
I do have to point out, I don't want to do this, its not like I am actively trying to not hit my goal calories for the sake of losing more weight.
I get obsessive about things, I'm not doing this saying "I'm going to miss my calories on purpose"

Its more that I'm scared (anxious), not that I don't want to hit them.

I understand. I started to get obsessive about my logging. I HAD to do it with absolute precision. Social gatherings and eating out gave me (to a degree) anxiety. I finally had to just take a step back and tell myself to not sweat the small stuff. It's not like I was going back to the way I was before losing weight. I was still on the right path, no matter what. After I loosened the mental reigns, my anxiety about eating out went away and I started enjoying my food more. I started trying alot more things and eating different flavored ice creams/sweets/etc. I just found alot more enjoyment in what I was eating and felt great, while losing weight.

I really want to say the ACT of losing weight is easy, it's the MENTAL part of losing weight that is hard. Because it really is. I still get a bit obsessive about calories. I lost 58 lbs from June 2013 to April 2014 and then (as planned) became pregnant. It was a complete 180. I had to reverse my mentality from losing weight to gaining weight (healthily). I had my baby in January, so now it's back to losing (albeit at a MUCH slower pace). But I can tell you it still effs with my brain to this day. You always question yourself. You always think about the math involved. But in the end, as long as you keep to the path (even if you stumble), you're headed in the right direction.

courtneyallisonatx wrote: »

amyrebeccah wrote: »

courtneyallisonatx wrote: »

I appreciate all the feedback and replies.
I do have to point out, I don't want to do this, its not like I am actively trying to not hit my goal calories for the sake of losing more weight.
I get obsessive about things, I'm not doing this saying "I'm going to miss my calories on purpose"

Its more that I'm scared (anxious), not that I don't want to hit them.

Well, and no one can snap their fingers and take away your fear. The only thing they can do is try to reassure you mentally, til you get in a position where you're able to do it and show yourself it's nothing to be scared of. Do you have any particular anxiety issues? I just ask about the statement that you get obsessive about things. If so, maybe it's something to try to talk about with your therapist or try to apply your coping mechanisms.

I'm actually on medication for my anxiety, but starting this new thing has kicked it into over gear a little.
I'm scared of failing again for the 900th time.

what kind of deficit do you have yourself set for (i.e. how many pounds per week do you want to lose)?
If you are set to 2lbs, then I'd recommend changing it to 1.5, knowing that you'll likely leave that margin of error and hit the target for 2lbs.

as for being scared of failing... try not to think of it as failure, but as part of the road you are travelling. Sometimes there are obstacles in the road that force you to deviate left or right, sometimes you need to backtrack and pick a new route.

look at the facts...

1) you are here
2) you are actively taking steps to lose weight
3) you are reaching for help in areas in which you feel weak.

Your road is pointing in the right direction. It may have some potholes from time to time, just keep travelling.

Serah87 wrote: »

courtneyallisonatx wrote: »

I've begun getting terrified to hit my calorie allotment for the day.

I have 100lbs to lose, which I would like to do by this time next year.
I'm tracking every single thing I put in my mouth, but I never seem to get to my calories.
I will research all day what to cook for dinner to have the smallest amount of calories, I fear I may have changed my mindset from not caring to caring WAY too much. I shouldn't be terrified to eat.

Anyone else get these feelings?

It took me 2 years and 9 months to lose 121 pounds.

And it took ME over a year of walking and eating better just to lose 30+ pounds...Hang in there!!!

Serah87 wrote: »

It took me 2 years and 9 months to lose 121 pounds.[/quote]
^^
This

You have 100lbs to lose, you want to do it in 1 year, plus you're terrified of not meeting the target and failing for the 900th time!

What are the chances that you're not plugged in at 2lbs a week?

Given that 2lbs a week is less than 1% of your body weight, it may be safe for you--ON PAPER!

But a 1000 calorie a day deficit doesn't help you stick to the program.

Let me guess here: you probably not eating back your actual net exercise calories, are you? So your actual daily deficit is what? 1200? 1400? 1500?

Instead of maximizing your chances of achieving this life change by dialing in a substantial but sane 20% or so caloric deficit, you are pushing things, and creating a deficit that is closer to 50%

You know why you're scared of failing? Because you should be!

While I am sure that at least one or two people on MFP have eaten for a full year at 50% off TDEE, the other 998 who tried to do so didn't make it!

Instead of giving yourself every chance to succeed by making a transition to a better and healthier lifestyle first (and worrying about the RATE of weight loss a far distant second) you are forcing the issue with artificial deadlines and increasing your chance of falling off the wagon.

You are not on a diet. If you think you're on a diet when you succeed in losing your 100lbs you will stop being on one, and you will gain it all back.

Take the time to incrementally change your relationship with food and exercise, forget jumping into heroic diets, persevere in reaching for your reasonable goals, and WIN!

And if you are hell bent in viewing the number MFP gives you as an inviolate limit, then at the very least dial down your weight loss target to a 1lb a week.

courtneyallisonatx wrote: »

I've begun getting terrified to hit my calorie allotment for the day.

I have 100lbs to lose, which I would like to do by this time next year.
I'm tracking every single thing I put in my mouth, but I never seem to get to my calories.
I will research all day what to cook for dinner to have the smallest amount of calories, I fear I may have changed my mindset from not caring to caring WAY too much. I shouldn't be terrified to eat.

Anyone else get these feelings?

Hi. I feel like this too. I find myself worrying more about how many calories will it take up if I eat this. I mean it's good to keep in mind since this is based on calories taken in and calories needed etc.... But I think I'm nervous to eat. Crazy huh? Once I get near my limit usually at around 500cal. I start worrying. Would like to hear others thoughts on this. Will it stop?