Binge Eating Disorder (B.E.D.)

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Replies

  • blakexx3
    blakexx3 Posts: 89 Member
    I feel safe positing this here...

    I recently gained 10lbs this past week. I went to visit one of my friends and her house is filled with candy, pies, cakes, and chips. Since I was "on vacation" I went a little overboard - I drank and ate and drank and ate some more. I had so many burgers and fries, crab dip, all the unhealthy stuff. I'm a little disappointed in myself for not trying to eat healthier but I'm trying not to fret about it or feel guilty because things like this will happen and I know they will happen again. I just have to accept it and keep on moving!
  • newport3158
    newport3158 Posts: 75 Member
    I have battled BED for the majority of my life. Im 33 and I can remember my first binge at 8 years old. I know that my binges came from being lonely. My dad would leave me home alone and I'd run to the kitchen when he left and eat anything I could get away with hiding. I also understand that my binging was from trying to be secretive and hide it from him, like haha I got away with something.

    Unfortunately this turned into a habit that progressed into adulthood. I still binge and my binges are pretty bad, and sometimes I over exercise to compensate.

    About 8 years ago I decided to start fighting my BED. I unfortunately became anorexic, but more orthorexic. It was bad, I had just lost my dad (who raised me), was trying to get off drugs, and raise a new baby, my first child.

    This is when I discovered weight lifting, vvyvance, and focusing on building not only my physical strength but my mental strength.

    But the biggest thing I've learned from living with these demons is that your body can control your mind. Your mind may tell u "go eat", but if you don't physically get up and go into the kitchen, you won't eat.

    I highly suggest the book "brain over binge" it's really a great book to helping discover the brain-body connection.

    Good luck, feel free to add me, but word of caution, I log everything, even my binges. If you are highly susceptible to triggers, don't add me!

  • avlovr
    avlovr Posts: 8 Member
    Hi there. I have a long history with BED and other eating disordered behaviors. Feel free to contact me. I would love to chat and lend some support. Take care
  • newport3158
    newport3158 Posts: 75 Member
    xandralaw wrote: »
    OK - don't laugh - but my trigger is going home - so what do I do? not? lol Its really a stress factor and that there is just so much at home and i escape with the food - so stress management i guess? Not really sure how to do that. My schedule allows for so little time for myself its very challenging.

    My suggestion and what has helped me is to make short term goals. First purge all your trigger and binge foods. Then set the goal to not binge for 3 days. At the end of the 3 days, tell your that if you REALLY want to binge that you can, but you have to make it thru these 3 days first. At the end of 3 days, I bet you won't want to binge and therefore say I'll go another 3 days or 2 days, keep going like this. During this time eat healthy fats, and satisfying foods, but not your trigger/binge foods. At the end of all of it, if you want to binge, binge, but the next day start over. You may find your binges are coming farther and farther apart.
  • Hearts_2015
    Hearts_2015 Posts: 12,032 Member
    xandralaw wrote: »
    OK - don't laugh - but my trigger is going home - so what do I do? not? lol Its really a stress factor and that there is just so much at home and i escape with the food - so stress management i guess? Not really sure how to do that. My schedule allows for so little time for myself its very challenging.

    My suggestion and what has helped me is to make short term goals. First purge all your trigger and binge foods. Then set the goal to not binge for 3 days. At the end of the 3 days, tell your that if you REALLY want to binge that you can, but you have to make it thru these 3 days first. At the end of 3 days, I bet you won't want to binge and therefore say I'll go another 3 days or 2 days, keep going like this. During this time eat healthy fats, and satisfying foods, but not your trigger/binge foods. At the end of all of it, if you want to binge, binge, but the next day start over. You may find your binges are coming farther and farther apart.

    Excellent advice!
  • Hearts_2015
    Hearts_2015 Posts: 12,032 Member
    I have battled BED for the majority of my life. Im 33 and I can remember my first binge at 8 years old. I know that my binges came from being lonely. My dad would leave me home alone and I'd run to the kitchen when he left and eat anything I could get away with hiding. I also understand that my binging was from trying to be secretive and hide it from him, like haha I got away with something.

    Unfortunately this turned into a habit that progressed into adulthood. I still binge and my binges are pretty bad, and sometimes I over exercise to compensate.

    About 8 years ago I decided to start fighting my BED. I unfortunately became anorexic, but more orthorexic. It was bad, I had just lost my dad (who raised me), was trying to get off drugs, and raise a new baby, my first child.

    This is when I discovered weight lifting, vvyvance, and focusing on building not only my physical strength but my mental strength.

    But the biggest thing I've learned from living with these demons is that your body can control your mind. Your mind may tell u "go eat", but if you don't physically get up and go into the kitchen, you won't eat.

    I highly suggest the book "brain over binge" it's really a great book to helping discover the brain-body connection.

    Good luck, feel free to add me, but word of caution, I log everything, even my binges. If you are highly susceptible to triggers, don't add me!

    Thanks for the book title, also your tips on demons vs. our mind... really powerful when I think of it that way.
  • newport3158
    newport3158 Posts: 75 Member
    @Hearts_2015 I've been dealing with this a LONG times! I've got a lot of tricks in my arsenal!
  • xandralaw
    xandralaw Posts: 50 Member
    linnea4 wrote: »
    How long is your commute? I'm wondering if turning that into relaxation time (instead of worrying about everything time - I know, I get that way too) might give you some relief. Audio books would be good if the commute is long enough. I've been fantasizing about binging too... I can feel the food in my mouth, it is *kitten* annoying. But we can do it.

    I actually have taken to listening to podcasts. Funny ones. If I can distract myself and laugh then I drive write past dunkin and never even think about it.
  • xandralaw
    xandralaw Posts: 50 Member
    blaketoben wrote: »
    xandralaw wrote: »
    I keep fantasizing about a binge and I know it is emotional. I feel so lost and alone right now and I would love to have some company (food). Getting through a stomach flu the last few days I really had to face why I missed food so much - it is guaranteed happiness to me. I don't have anything else in my life that makes me happy like food does. That is just screwed up.

    People tell me I need to do more for myself, to take care of myself, but I have no time. I leave for work at 6:30 every morning and get home from work at 5:45 - then it is dinner, clean up, time with kids, help with homework, bedtime etc. By the time everyone is settled I either have desk work to do or I'm exhausted and go to bed. If I want to work out I have to be up at 5am - currently is not happening. My husband works Saturday, so I spend that day running around like a nut doing errands, laundry, shopping, cleaning so that we can have a family day on Sunday. I have a cranky teenage daughter, a clingy toddler that doesn't get enough time with me and a kind husband but somewhat of an empty marriage.

    Go figure - as I'm writing this - I'm hungry.

    Rant over.

    I'm sorry to hear about your current frustrations. It sounds like your stressed and fatigued. Try going for a walk outside if its nice out to brighten your mood :) or find something that you can do for a half hour that would make you happy and relaxed - I'm thinking knitting, reading a book, a nice bubble bath, or something along those lines. If you really want to do workouts, you should do some free video workouts that are a half hour (not saying you have to but it could be a better option than thinking you have to go to a gym). Just take one day at a time!

    Thank you - the fact that it is nice enough to be outside finally does help alot. I have a bunch of 30 min exercise tapes, its just hard to get up. The sun is up earlier so maybe I can do it. I appreciate the encouragement.
  • xandralaw
    xandralaw Posts: 50 Member
    adamitri wrote: »
    You know something Envy, we're all different so we need to find what works for us. Like you I just couldn't stop and everything was so frustrating, especially seeing my friends post significant losses each week. It got to the point where I needed to step away from this website for a few weeks. I think you're far from hopeless, you just need to find something that helps you. What helped me was concentrating on one aspect of this at a time. I pushed exercise off until I got some semblance of control over my eating. I also stopped kicking myself when I failed. I just got up and started over again. A new day was a new beginning.

    This is also what seems to be helping me right now... to focus on one aspect and then as I feel stronger move back into my workout plan. :)

    COMPLETELY agree here - one thing at a time - small adjustments until that adjustment seems normal - then add another one - then another - they will build. When you feel stable enough try adding exercise in 2 a week - then maybe you can do 3x - if not, so what - give yourself credit every day for what you do and don't beat yourself up for what you didn't . We become what we think about - so stay positive ;)
  • Amberh82
    Amberh82 Posts: 468 Member
    I am glad I found this. I have had issues with binge eating for over a year now. Today I went to the doctor to discuss all my anxiety, depression, issues with the overeating/gaining weight, etc. He diagnosed me with BED. He is starting me on an anxiety/antidepressant to see if it helps and go from there. I know my eating has underlying issues... but no one I know personally has ever had experience with this. of course, they are like "yes, we binge too"....but not to the point of a disorder... where its out of control and you feel out of control.

    I would love to have friends to talk to on here about this. I did join the group mentioned in a post at the beginning. hopefully, we can all get the help we need!
  • morganxxdang
    morganxxdang Posts: 6 Member
    Ive been a binge eater my entire life. Trying to get things under control now but its hard. I feel bad though seeing my boyfriend watch me do it. Its so hard to stop though. If anyone can be motivational, add me
  • Hearts_2015
    Hearts_2015 Posts: 12,032 Member
    edited May 2015
    xandralaw wrote: »
    OK - don't laugh - but my trigger is going home - so what do I do? not? lol Its really a stress factor and that there is just so much at home and i escape with the food - so stress management i guess? Not really sure how to do that. My schedule allows for so little time for myself its very challenging.

    My suggestion and what has helped me is to make short term goals. First purge all your trigger and binge foods. Then set the goal to not binge for 3 days. At the end of the 3 days, tell your that if you REALLY want to binge that you can, but you have to make it thru these 3 days first. At the end of 3 days, I bet you won't want to binge and therefore say I'll go another 3 days or 2 days, keep going like this. During this time eat healthy fats, and satisfying foods, but not your trigger/binge foods. At the end of all of it, if you want to binge, binge, but the next day start over. You may find your binges are coming farther and farther apart.

    @newport3158 I read this when you first posted it and thought, this is some awesome advice! Then I read it again, just now, and I think my head almost exploded! WOW, this is huge to me, I feel like it opened up something inside my brain in a different way than when I previously read it. Guess now is time for me to actually put into place your suggestions of setting out to do 3 days no binge method. When I have 'no binging' as a goal, it seems like this huge vast amount of space in front of me (rather like not having a goal at all) and I panic a bit after awhile wondering when I will fail.

    Having a small amount of days to focus on and commit too instead... it feels far more do-able like I will actually succeed.


    I love this and love you for sharing what's been working for you, I feel like I just opened a treasure chest with a map inside!! <3

    Thank you so much!
    Warm hugs,
    Hearts <3
  • xandralaw
    xandralaw Posts: 50 Member
    Agree! @newport3158 - this is fantastic advice! Thank you for sharing.

    For me another thing I do is when those cravings for trigger foods come in, I don't give in but I don't restrict 100%. My therapist has been working with me on avoiding restriction as it will lead to bingeing. So if I am craving a whopper for some reason, I don't go eat a salad. I'll make my own whopper. Or have it at a real restaurant - not fast food. Most of the time the ingredients are much better and since it is a slower process to get/make, sometimes the craving will pass or I won't need to binge on it. It gives me time to focus on the food and make a decision to allow myself to have it. That is the control piece that the binge takes away from us.

    Welcome to @morganxxdang and @Amberh82 !! I sent you both friend requests. There are a lot of awesome people in this thread for support so I suggest scrolling back and sending out requests. I've build a nice little support group for myself mostly from this thread. Good luck and keep in touch!!
  • kellyship17
    kellyship17 Posts: 112 Member
    Hello! I have a longgg history of disordered eating. I suffered from binge eating disorder growing up, became anorexic in my teens, was hospitalized, starting binge eating again, gained lots of weight, then became bulimic... and was hospitalized again. The only thing that got me out of the rut was the support of my partner and a wonderful therapist. I could not have done it alone. I still binge, but it's very very rare. And I haven't purged in over a year. Give yourself time to get better and try not to make yourself feel too guilty. You'll have to completely change your relationship with food, but it's definitely possible :)
  • blakexx3
    blakexx3 Posts: 89 Member
    I haven't binged in awhile. I think giving into a craving helps, at least for me. In the past I wouldn't give in for about 4 days and then the next thing I knew I would give in and multiply that craving by 20. All my control would be lost. Now if Im craving something, I honestly just try and eat it because I know if I don't and I restrict I'll end up paying for it later. The true balance of understanding when to give in and when to not give in is key. Right now I'm struggling with how to drink alcohol and not have that lead to a binge.. It's getting better but it's all about changing your mindset about food
  • MindySaysWhaaat
    MindySaysWhaaat Posts: 401 Member
    The good: I've got a candy dish full of hershey's kisses on my coffee table, and I've been able to limit myself to 4 a day. Before I'd probably be drowning in wrappers and regret after eating the whole bowl. So I am getting better with moderation.

    The bad: I still can't regulate myself around pizza unless it's homemade or a frozen pizza. I've told my fiance (who works at a pizza parlor) that if he's bringing home a pizza he has to make sure it has toppings that don't like so I won't eat it.

    The ugly: I have been having binge issues on weekends. It seems like during the week I can do amazing, and then some kind of switch gets flipped in my head and the weekends end up becoming a free for all. I've gotta figure out how to deal with this, because while I haven't been gaining any weight, I've been stuck at the same weight for over a month and it's kind of upsetting.
  • Lex401
    Lex401 Posts: 77 Member
    Thank you for posting this I battle with it myself...I would love more support :)
  • CiaraFit21
    CiaraFit21 Posts: 8 Member
    I'm glad I've found this thread, I'm glad i'm not alone... My binging has been out of control for about a year now. I lost 45 pounds, and starting eat what ever I wanted since I was at my GW. Last summer I put on 20 pounds in a month, I binged almost everyday...Now I still am on Day3 binge free. I can do really well for a few days, then all of a sudden I start thinking about junk food, Starts out "okay just have the two slices of toast and peanut butter you'll go over but not by much" then as soon as a scarf that down my mind says "screw it! the food is so good keep eating" then I'm frantically finding anything sweet or bread like...It's like i'm out of my body..I can't stop while I'm doing it...2 hours later i'm done I lie in bed and pass out and wake up the next day as if I had a hangover.


    One thing that has helped me though is spacing out my food throughout the day and always saving 200 cals or so for after dinner for snacks. I big trigger for me too is going out for dinner, or going to a family members when they are cooking or a special occasion. I hate myself for the shame and guilt, and nobody in my family understands. Its a daily struggle :(
  • Hearts_2015
    Hearts_2015 Posts: 12,032 Member
    CiaraFit21 wrote: »
    I'm glad I've found this thread, I'm glad i'm not alone... My binging has been out of control for about a year now. I lost 45 pounds, and starting eat what ever I wanted since I was at my GW. Last summer I put on 20 pounds in a month, I binged almost everyday...Now I still am on Day3 binge free. I can do really well for a few days, then all of a sudden I start thinking about junk food, Starts out "okay just have the two slices of toast and peanut butter you'll go over but not by much" then as soon as a scarf that down my mind says "screw it! the food is so good keep eating" then I'm frantically finding anything sweet or bread like...It's like i'm out of my body..I can't stop while I'm doing it...2 hours later i'm done I lie in bed and pass out and wake up the next day as if I had a hangover.


    One thing that has helped me though is spacing out my food throughout the day and always saving 200 cals or so for after dinner for snacks. I big trigger for me too is going out for dinner, or going to a family members when they are cooking or a special occasion. I hate myself for the shame and guilt, and nobody in my family understands. Its a daily struggle :(

    @CiaraFit21
    I'm so glad you found this thread! I think each of us were meant to find it as almost everyone shares how good it feels to not feel alone anymore. I can relate to what you've shared... it does feel like an out of body experience. It's like my mind shuts down and the eating continues... it helps to hear others describe it this way. Yes and the frantic feeling, being in a frenzy looking for something to get a fix.

    I too find that eating smaller meals throughout the day has helped me to control it more. I'm trying to be more aware of what my triggers are and realize each time I do this..there are consequences to my body. To my mind as well as I too feel the shame you're speaking of. I'm working to love myself unconditionally so to feel shame about my behavior goes against that.. ..yea, I'm still a work in progress. ;)

    Hearts <3
  • Lex401
    Lex401 Posts: 77 Member
    CiaraFit21 wrote: »
    I'm glad I've found this thread, I'm glad i'm not alone... My binging has been out of control for about a year now. I lost 45 pounds, and starting eat what ever I wanted since I was at my GW. Last summer I put on 20 pounds in a month, I binged almost everyday...Now I still am on Day3 binge free. I can do really well for a few days, then all of a sudden I start thinking about junk food, Starts out "okay just have the two slices of toast and peanut butter you'll go over but not by much" then as soon as a scarf that down my mind says "screw it! the food is so good keep eating" then I'm frantically finding anything sweet or bread like...It's like i'm out of my body..I can't stop while I'm doing it...2 hours later i'm done I lie in bed and pass out and wake up the next day as if I had a hangover.


    One thing that has helped me though is spacing out my food throughout the day and always saving 200 cals or so for after dinner for snacks. I big trigger for me too is going out for dinner, or going to a family members when they are cooking or a special occasion. I hate myself for the shame and guilt, and nobody in my family understands. Its a daily struggle :(

    This is exactly how I feel, It also helped me to set alarms for meal times. I set my phone to go off at 7,9,12,2,4,6 and try not to snack in between.
  • Hearts_2015
    Hearts_2015 Posts: 12,032 Member
    CiaraFit21 wrote: »
    I'm glad I've found this thread, I'm glad i'm not alone... My binging has been out of control for about a year now. I lost 45 pounds, and starting eat what ever I wanted since I was at my GW. Last summer I put on 20 pounds in a month, I binged almost everyday...Now I still am on Day3 binge free. I can do really well for a few days, then all of a sudden I start thinking about junk food, Starts out "okay just have the two slices of toast and peanut butter you'll go over but not by much" then as soon as a scarf that down my mind says "screw it! the food is so good keep eating" then I'm frantically finding anything sweet or bread like...It's like i'm out of my body..I can't stop while I'm doing it...2 hours later i'm done I lie in bed and pass out and wake up the next day as if I had a hangover.


    One thing that has helped me though is spacing out my food throughout the day and always saving 200 cals or so for after dinner for snacks. I big trigger for me too is going out for dinner, or going to a family members when they are cooking or a special occasion. I hate myself for the shame and guilt, and nobody in my family understands. Its a daily struggle :(

    This is exactly how I feel, It also helped me to set alarms for meal times. I set my phone to go off at 7,9,12,2,4,6 and try not to snack in between.

    That's a great method :) Glad you found the thread @Alexisfish08
  • newport3158
    newport3158 Posts: 75 Member
    @newport3158 I read this when you first posted it and thought, this is some awesome advice! Then I read it again, just now, and I think my head almost exploded! WOW, this is huge to me, I feel like it opened up something inside my brain in a different way than when I previously read it. Guess now is time for me to actually put into place your suggestions of setting out to do 3 days no binge method. When I have 'no binging' as a goal, it seems like this huge vast amount of space in front of me (rather like not having a goal at all) and I panic a bit after awhile wondering when I will fail.

    Having a small amount of days to focus on and commit too instead... it feels far more do-able like I will actually succeed.


    I love this and love you for sharing what's been working for you, I feel like I just opened a treasure chest with a map inside!! <3

    Thank you so much!
    Warm hugs,
    Hearts <3

    @Hearts_2015 so how did it go?
  • Hearts_2015
    Hearts_2015 Posts: 12,032 Member
    @newport3158 I read this when you first posted it and thought, this is some awesome advice! Then I read it again, just now, and I think my head almost exploded! WOW, this is huge to me, I feel like it opened up something inside my brain in a different way than when I previously read it. Guess now is time for me to actually put into place your suggestions of setting out to do 3 days no binge method. When I have 'no binging' as a goal, it seems like this huge vast amount of space in front of me (rather like not having a goal at all) and I panic a bit after awhile wondering when I will fail.

    Having a small amount of days to focus on and commit too instead... it feels far more do-able like I will actually succeed.


    I love this and love you for sharing what's been working for you, I feel like I just opened a treasure chest with a map inside!! <3

    Thank you so much!
    Warm hugs,
    Hearts <3

    @Hearts_2015 so how did it go?

    @newport3158 It's going Great!! Day 3 Binge Free I think it was the morning after I read this is the day I started and I've dropped 13 lbs. So crazy that's in only 3 days but as we all know sodium and all that jazz keeps the pounds on after binges.

    Feeling confident and, thank you :)
  • epixstudiosnh
    epixstudiosnh Posts: 72 Member
    edited May 2015
    I have struggled with this since I was a pre-teen. Over the last two weeks I have been trying to take control of my portions by eating more protein and less carbs and sugar. I slipped up tonight and ordered pizza but on the plus side I didn't eat the whole thing like I used to! Feel free to add me, I am always up for a chat!
  • newport3158
    newport3158 Posts: 75 Member
    @Hearts_2015 that is freaking awesome! I'm proud of you! Now keep going just a couple days at a time commit yourself to it.

    I started over today, today is my first day without a binge. I've been on a week long one. I just started thinking to myself "are you really going to make this a habit, is this how you want to continue to live?" Sometimes I forget that I need to take my own advice!
  • newport3158
    newport3158 Posts: 75 Member
    CiaraFit21 wrote: »
    I'm glad I've found this thread, I'm glad i'm not alone... My binging has been out of control for about a year now. I lost 45 pounds, and starting eat what ever I wanted since I was at my GW. Last summer I put on 20 pounds in a month, I binged almost everyday...Now I still am on Day3 binge free. I can do really well for a few days, then all of a sudden I start thinking about junk food, Starts out "okay just have the two slices of toast and peanut butter you'll go over but not by much" then as soon as a scarf that down my mind says "screw it! the food is so good keep eating" then I'm frantically finding anything sweet or bread like...It's like i'm out of my body..I can't stop while I'm doing it...2 hours later i'm done I lie in bed and pass out and wake up the next day as if I had a hangover.


    One thing that has helped me though is spacing out my food throughout the day and always saving 200 cals or so for after dinner for snacks. I big trigger for me too is going out for dinner, or going to a family members when they are cooking or a special occasion. I hate myself for the shame and guilt, and nobody in my family understands. Its a daily struggle :(

    This happens to me too. I get the feeling like I really want something sweet or carb loaded. It's usually donuts or ice cream or something like that. Sometimes in the morning I'll say ok after I drop my girl at daycare I'll pass the donut shop and grab a half dozen. But after awhile I start moving around getting the kids ready to go and as we are leaving I will "conveniently" take all the money out my wallet and walk out the door. After dropping my daughter I'll pass that donut shop and flip it the bird.

    Other times say if I'm wanting something that's in the house, I'll tell myself, first I'll eat something healthy then I'll eat the junk. I'll first make myself something that is full of protein and takes some time to prepare, like this tuna salad thing I eat with a few hardboiled eggs. It will take me sometimes 20 minutes to get it all made and after I've sat down and ate it, i may feel satisfied and full or I may start in on the junk, if I do, i don't get far into it before I start getting full and uncomfortable and I'm like "Meghan, enough".
  • shannon_andreoli
    shannon_andreoli Posts: 5 Member
    It's a struggle to deal with it. I personally deal with binge eating and rarely purging. Since I've started my journey I've had my days- mostly later in the day urges. Even had a few dreams in which I binge and wake up slightly horrified. I try drinking lots of water, or something healthy (fruit or veggies) and sometimes one of my guilty pleasures like a lt mini babybell cheese or something. But it's hard without support. Talking to people who know what I'm going through, but so far I've stayed strong. And I hope I can continue to do so...
  • Hearts_2015
    Hearts_2015 Posts: 12,032 Member
    @Hearts_2015 that is freaking awesome! I'm proud of you! Now keep going just a couple days at a time commit yourself to it.

    I started over today, today is my first day without a binge. I've been on a week long one. I just started thinking to myself "are you really going to make this a habit, is this how you want to continue to live?" Sometimes I forget that I need to take my own advice!

    <3
  • Hearts_2015
    Hearts_2015 Posts: 12,032 Member
    It's a struggle to deal with it. I personally deal with binge eating and rarely purging. Since I've started my journey I've had my days- mostly later in the day urges. Even had a few dreams in which I binge and wake up slightly horrified. I try drinking lots of water, or something healthy (fruit or veggies) and sometimes one of my guilty pleasures like a lt mini babybell cheese or something. But it's hard without support. Talking to people who know what I'm going through, but so far I've stayed strong. And I hope I can continue to do so...

    So glad you found the thread...... having support makes ALL the differnece in the world. I found a 12 step program that is helping me so much... I'd never joined an online before and it's beyond amazing how I feel when I step into it. So much calmer, so much less hate toward myself, peace and care from others as we are working on the same things.
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