45 yr Man - Fat because I am depressed? or depressed cause I am fat?

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  • jkwolly
    jkwolly Posts: 3,049 Member
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    RBrigzy wrote: »
    sheldonklein wrote: »
    The answer is Yes. Fortunately, losing weight can help with both. Unlike most of the things that i expect you are miserable about, losing weight is entirely in your control. Gifting yourself an accomplishment is pleasurable. Having clothes that fit is pleasurable. It won't make all of your other problems go away, but it's a lot of bang for your buck.

    I understand what you some of you are saying - talk to a professional - but the last time I did that - some 10 years ago he put me on some god awful medication called "Serocat" which caused horrendous side effects - so I have to self medicate my way out out of this.

    I like the quote above - probably because it is saying what I want to hear, and it is what I want to believe. So for now I will go with it - and who knows where it will take me - that is if I do actually manage to loose any weight.

    Actually just reading about your thoughts and ideas on here has helped me a great deal - so I want to say thanks to you all.

    My teenage son - well I don't want to burden him cause he too has suffered with his own depression - his mum passed away about 6 years ago.

    I am just gonna walk and walk - at least two hours a day - and see what happens.

    Talking to someone =/= meds
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,669 Member
    edited April 2015
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    One thing I notice when I deal with clients going through depression is they lack a passion and a goal. When going through the day to day doldrums of every day life for a long time, while watching your relationship fade (not because you want it to), it's easy to ask yourself "this is all there is?" So I actually got more involved doing things I truly enjoyed, like going to Comic Con, hitting more amusement parks, and going on cruises.
    I'm considering taking up BJJ again, just because it's an internally competitive MA and also because I really enjoyed it so much due to the strategy (having to think 2-4 moves ahead like chess). The only issue for me is time (not that I can't do it, but the availability of when gyms are open that don't conflict with my work schedule). I'm sure when my DD is a little older, I'll have much more time.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
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  • missyj1115
    missyj1115 Posts: 1,220 Member
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    RBrigzy wrote: »
    What a fabulously inspiring post - thank you millions.
    missyj1115 wrote: »
    Get your son involved too!!!

    Thats a excellent idea too - he needs a kick up the *kitten* as well - I will see if I can get him down to the local gym.

    Absolutely!!! Great bonding time for the both of you <3 I am sorry about the loss of his mother I couldn't imagine :'( This could be beneficial to the both of you in so many ways! Use this time together to talk about things, try to get him to open up and show him it is alright to feel the way he is feeling. Even if it is just going on a walk with him and you talk about nothing, just being together and showing that you care will help him immensely!
  • tomnev1
    tomnev1 Posts: 184 Member
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    My only advice is to set modest goals. It may seem like a lack of ambition now, but trust me when I say it was the best thing I ever did. Don't walk for two hours. Walk for 30 mins instead for three to four times a week. If you walk for two hours it will rain, you'll be bored, your ankle will give you trouble, your iPhone will run out of battery etc...in short you'll make it easy to find an excuse not to do it again. Remember that you can do it. There's a million platitudes out there and you might dismiss them all, but deep down you know you can do it. Not sure what you work at, but I'm sure you've heard the term SMART objectives. Specific, Measureable, Achievable, Realistic and Timely.
    Reward yourself and your kids. If there's a fun park or zip wire park near you, go and do it. You don't need to be particularly fit to do it. Or even watch X-Factor if that's your thing.
  • try2again
    try2again Posts: 3,562 Member
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    Enjoyed this discussion, as I've had this question too (fat vs depression.) I know it frustrates me at times because I just want to stop the world and focus on one problem, but that just doesn't seem to be the way it works- everything is interconnected. On the plus side, though, the benefits are interconnected- a little progress in one area seems to help all. Agree with the other posters, though, that the weight loss might be the simplest thing to deal with (never thought I'd say those words!)
  • jennifershoo
    jennifershoo Posts: 3,198 Member
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    Take anti-depressant and enjoy back your life.
  • kjablinskey
    kjablinskey Posts: 47 Member
    edited April 2015
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    try2again wrote: »
    I just want to stop the world and focus on one problem, but that just doesn't seem to be the way it works- everything is interconnected. On the plus side, though, the benefits are interconnected- a little progress in one area seems to help all.

    ^^ This is another gem of wisdom, I always thought about the negatives being a web of interconnections but was missing the positive side!!

    Thanks for pointing this out!!

    Also, tomnev1 is right about setting modest goals. Set them low enough to achieve success, if you exceed them it's all the more inspiration for you to continue. At least it was for me. Setting my weight loss at .5 lbs per week and losing MORE than that was great motivation.
  • try2again
    try2again Posts: 3,562 Member
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    [
    Also, tomnev1 is right about setting modest goals. Set them low enough to achieve success, if you exceed them it's all the more inspiration for you to continue. At least it was for me. Setting my weight loss at .5 lbs per week and losing MORE than that was great motivation.
    [/quote]
    A friend once told me, keep your expectations low and you'll never be disappointed ;)
  • Sandcastles61
    Sandcastles61 Posts: 506 Member
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    I know my oldest son would have been thrilled to spend some one on one time with his dad :) If he balks at walking with you, maybe swimming would give you a good chance to be together doing a non impact exercise without making him feel like he's being forced into a talk every day because it is kinda hard to carry on a conversation under water lol .... Or take up golf or frisbee golf, bowling actually gives you a good calorie burn.... Maybe you could take a healthy cooking class together because he will be going to college or moving out in the relatively near future but it would also help you both with weight loss and nutrition and get you out of the house :)

    Or, we have something here called MeetUps..... It is different groups of people who form groups up to do just about anything imaginable.... Walking, hiking, listening to certain types of music, eating out, dancing, wine, books, playing cards...... Whatever your interests are. There are couples and singles alike and all the ones we have been to have just been a ton of fun! Sometimes just changing things up and having something to look forward to and perhaps you could do together would help with the feelings of depression and move you toward the weight loss. :) Best wishes

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