Things that people just SHOULDN'T say!

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245

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  • Davali
    Davali Posts: 225 Member
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    'Don't lose any more'! (I have 50+ lbs to go just to reach the top of my ideal BMI range - I am still obese!!) I do wonder if people say that because they feel some sense of self-guilt for not doing it themselves......
  • suzitkd
    suzitkd Posts: 110
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    Congratulations, when are you due?
    :laugh: I had that happen to me!!
  • perrytyra
    perrytyra Posts: 357 Member
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    Husbands are allowed to tell us that we don't need to lose weight.
  • Shizzman
    Shizzman Posts: 527 Member
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    Wow, you eat a lot... (or something like that...it's ok once or twice, but sometimes it can get a bit much)
  • suzitkd
    suzitkd Posts: 110
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    your not fat your just tall ( am 6'2)
    :happy: Yup, had that one too! Not as tall as you though - I'm just 5'10"!
  • HeatherrSue
    HeatherrSue Posts: 106 Member
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    Lori, I know exactly how that feels. I am 5'2", started at 185...can't look at a candy bar without it going to my butt even if I don't eat it (which I don't). All of my in laws are a maybe 110 pounds. I have a sister in law who is constantly posting on facebook how she just ate a pack or oreos or could eat a large blizzard everyday and she loves it. She wears a friggin size 1! Its so disheartnening. On the other side, in my family, the females were all big. Last year my biological mother starved herself, just stoppd eating and went from a size 18 to a size 4. My sister went from a size 16 to a size 4 by not taking care of herself. They both told me, "We did it so I don't see why it's so hard for you". I started at 185 last August. Took December, January and half of Feb off becuase of depression and then gall bladder surgery and started back up at 163 Feb 14th and this morning I hit 149.4 I choose to do it the hard way ya know...eat healthy, drink plenty of water, work out 90 to 120 minutes a day and I've realized, to hell with anyone who tries to bring us down or negate all our hard work. They don't get it and probably never will but for those of us on this journey, atleast we know we're doing it right, we're doing it for us and that's what matters.
  • asudheimer
    asudheimer Posts: 82 Member
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    I don't like it when you are working out or exercising and someone points at certain body parts and says "you really need to work on THAT instead of just walking or running" ... It's my body for me to improve as I see fit. It's not at anyone elses discretion as to how I exercise... just be supportive and encouraging without sounding judgemental... sheesh.
  • Behavior_Modification
    Behavior_Modification Posts: 24,482 Member
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    "you were prettier before you lost weight....."

    :noway: :noway: :noway:

    OUCH
  • BamBam1113
    BamBam1113 Posts: 542 Member
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    "You carry it well."
  • Jizes318
    Jizes318 Posts: 409 Member
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    "SO YOU PUT ON A LITTLE WEIGHT HUH?"

    Thanks *kitten*... who the hell says these things?
  • rmsrws
    rmsrws Posts: 639 Member
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    You are not "FAT" you are just short!
    You are proportioned for your body type!

    If you are out with a group of people and the best looking one says, "OH, don't worry you look great!" I have figured there motive out. I lose weight become healthy and fit, they now have compettition!

    You are older it is bound to happen sometime or another! ( referring to being fat)

    Don't worry you look great, it is on the inside that really matters! ( OK, this is true, we all know we should be treated for who we are and not what we look like, BUT SOCIETY DOES NOT SEE IT THIS WAY)

    Wow the dryer must be shrinking your clothes, because they are fitting really tight!
  • FTIM2015
    FTIM2015 Posts: 460 Member
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    "you were prettier before you lost weight....."

    I had my aunt tell me that I shouldn't get as thin as I was before... the pic that she was using for ref, I was 11st... and miserable as sin!
  • brandi2258
    brandi2258 Posts: 46 Member
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    Congratulations, when are you due?
    :laugh: I had that happen to me!!

    Yep, had that happen to me also..

    I also get the "You don't need to lose weight", "You look fine", and my fav! "You're just tall"...(6'3)
  • Fattack
    Fattack Posts: 666 Member
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    I was actually really annoyed by a lady at my spin class the other day. She was very slim, and I had a protein bar with me on my bike. She saw me bring it in the class (I'd run two classes back to back and was starving which is why I brought it in with me, to eat after my prior class - kettlebells, but in the end our spin class started early so I didn't get chance to eat it anyway) and asked me, incredulously,

    "Is that CHOCOLATE?" and grinned at me (because naturally, chubby people take chocolate everywhere, including to spin class) to which I responded, "No, it's protein, taking chocolate to spin would be a bit contrary wouldn't it."

    And more on topic:

    "That's a lot of food!" - often coming from people eating something tiny, but way more calorific, and supplementing it with a big ole chocolate bar later!
  • scratchless
    scratchless Posts: 30 Member
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    Well i am guna throw a spanner in the works now..................BIG TIME

    Whats wrong with paying someone a compliment if it is deserved. Being a gentlemen is it wrong that I say someone looks amazing in their photos.

    If someone looks good should you not tell then???????

    I have my reasons for loosing weight and its cause I know deep down that I am not happy and I always say after the compliment that they must feel the same as me and they have there own motivations.

    With my clothes on I look OK, but off is another story. I think we all can say that cant we????????

    I think with my close friends on here by asking them that question you find out what really makes them tick, what really is their motivation then I can help them and support them on that motivational path.

    Summer holiday right, cool, u got the bikini yet, keep that in mind, is the picture of the villa on your biscuit cupboard.

    Maybe thats just me but I cant go into a full blown MFP friendship being able to motivate them by saying yer I can see why you wana loose weight.

    please don't slate me. maybe my close friends on here can back me up, PLEASE.
  • asudheimer
    asudheimer Posts: 82 Member
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    And another one I hate is when people downplay your accomplishments. Like you are proud of losing 5 lbs and they say "Yeah, that's good, but you still have 40 lbs to go!" Celebrate the small victories and be encouraging :)
  • lacr2011
    lacr2011 Posts: 7
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    I hate that i weigh 280 lbs and my mother says i need to lose 10 lbs but that is enough. WHATEVER mom. i know she is either dilusional or trying to be nice but seriously? come to the damn gym with me!!! and i love when right in front of me she will call a size 12 woman fat on tv, or herself, a size 10 woman, fat, and then i'm like.....if they are fat, what do you REALLY THINK of me?

    my husband loves me and finds me sexy at this weigh, and 80 lbs lighter when he met me 6 years ago. he is allowed to tell me what he really thinks, and i do carry this weight well and i am incredibly proportionate, and its okay for HIM to say those things, but he also knows i am obese and i need to be HEALTHY not SKINNY. so here i am!
    people say stupid stuff all. the. time. i think they are jealous. seriously i have started this journey and told a couple people about it and they all overweight to some degree and the first thing they give me is an excuse why i shouldnt lose weight, and then an excuse why THEY shouldnt/dont have to/dont have time etc. i think they are jealous of the courage it takes and the motivation it takes to make life change.
    just my thoughts. :-)
  • Tmrice721
    Tmrice721 Posts: 86 Member
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    I had someone say to me "You can't eat that, I thought you were on a diet!!" Duh... it's called moderatation... So I started talking about my healthy lifestyle habits of eating fresh veggies/fruit and exercise and drinking water, and they said "Well maybe if you just stop eating sweets all together it wouldn't take so long" It's not a race, so I just smiled and thought to myself... "that's why your fat azzzz can't walk half a block" :laugh: and went on about my business...

    Good luck to everyone on this journey whether it's your 1st time or 101st time, keep at it and one day you'll get it right. Just don't give up on yourself! :flowerforyou:
  • suzitkd
    suzitkd Posts: 110
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    Well i am guna throw a spanner in the works now..................BIG TIME

    Whats wrong with paying someone a compliment if it is deserved. Being a gentlemen is it wrong that I say someone looks amazing in their photos.

    If someone looks good should you not tell then???????

    I have my reasons for loosing weight and its cause I know deep down that I am not happy and I always say after the compliment that they must feel the same as me and they have there own motivations.

    With my clothes on I look OK, but off is another story. I think we all can say that cant we????????

    I think with my close friends on here by asking them that question you find out what really makes them tick, what really is their motivation then I can help them and support them on that motivational path.

    Summer holiday right, cool, u got the bikini yet, keep that in mind, is the picture of the villa on your biscuit cupboard.

    Maybe thats just me but I cant go into a full blown MFP friendship being able to motivate them by saying yer I can see why you wana loose weight.

    please don't slate me. maybe my close friends on here can back me up, PLEASE.
    I think you're maybe coming at this from the other end - if you have just started out on your weight loss journey and are telling people about it, comments such as 'you don't need to lose weight, you look fine' when you have a BMI of 35 is actually unhelpful. HOWEVER, if you have LOST some weight and it's starting to show, then OF COURSE it's great to say 'Wow, you've lost weight! You look great!' Those are two very different scenarios!

    Speaking as someone who has both given those comments and been on the receiving end of them, I am now more aware of the effect that some comments can have - without our meaning it. By all means positive comments - wow you look amazing! But if someone has made the decision to lose weight and is trying very hard (and possibly feeling quite alone on their journey) then comments of 'you don't look like you need to lose weight' or 'you carry it well' or similar comments are best left unsaid and instead replaced with the sort of motivational comments of the sort that you're talking about! :happy:
  • lealea25
    lealea25 Posts: 12
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    What I hate is...
    Oh you're doing so well do you want one of these? (producing a pack of brownies!)
    When I say no I get 'just have one, it won't hurt. Go on!'

    To me it would hurt because I'm trying to lead a healthier lifestyle and lose weight and people trying to give me sweets and treats after I've said no is quite offensive to me.

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