Break-up during weight loss

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  • RavenLibra
    RavenLibra Posts: 1,737 Member
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    THIS.. helped me through some tough times... "THE BEST REVENGE IS LIVING WELL" ran into her a few years later... I had a wife a house a child... SHE... was street people. I felt bad for her of course...BUT had it not been for our breakup... the best things in my life would have never happened and I would not have been motivated to seek out those things.

    total cliché I know... BUT it is up to you to decide whether there is more waiting for you out there. Work on YOU and the rest will sort its self out YOU are on the right track...now get to the gym.. log your food... AND BE the person you want to be... define yourself...
  • MissBabyJane
    MissBabyJane Posts: 538 Member
    edited April 2015
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    I gained like 10 lbs, because the break-up I went through... It's not worth it! I'm telling you, you can't eat your feelings and feel better. After four months of struggle, I'm just starting to get in shape and I very much regret that I've let someone's decisions affect me so much and I almost destroyed everything I've worked sooo hard on.....
  • gabylewis22
    gabylewis22 Posts: 41 Member
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    I had a break up a few months ago after a 4 year relationship. If anything, it motivated me more to lose weight - the weight loss and exercise gave me something to focus on rather than just moping about. And to be honest, with all the crying etc, I just wanted to sleep, I had no appetite at all. Use it to your advantage.
  • sarahlifts
    sarahlifts Posts: 610 Member
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    I'm sorry this happened to you.

    I had a break up a week bf I began my journey. Working out helped me keep my mind off of it and helped with the hurt and anger.

    You've already begun, don't undo your progress.

    There is someone or something better than the person who broke up with you. Keep at it. Make sure you are smoking hot when you are ready to get back out there.

    For now, focus on you, pick up another hobby. Find a way to distract your self.

    When I was dumped the gym and focusing on getting fit for 35 was my release.

    I get emo now and find my self going for food. It is good to recognize you are treating your pain with food. Now you can do something to correct that.

    Best wishes.

  • EricNewark
    EricNewark Posts: 295 Member
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    Channel the sadness to maybe a little bit of anger (controlled, it's ok to be pissed off just not violent!) and tell yourself fine, the hell with him/her I'll show you... Hit the gym. Take up an outdoor hobby (someone said earlier they took up kayaking - something you have wanted to do but never did). It will put you in a different place physically and mentally.

    I went though a nasty break up years and years ago. Unhealthy relationship, drank too much because of it, etc. one day I walked away. Took up canoeing with friends that summer and totally changed what I did and where I was (ie lifestyle change). Met a lovely lady 6 months later who I wouldn't have met had I not made those general changes and 15 years later still married to her :)

    You will overcome it and in the end you will be in a better place. I know it's easier said then done. It sooo easy for us to say it will be ok. But if you think about it for a minute- you know it will be ok in the end too. Listen to THAT side of your heart.

    Best of luck.
  • dewsmom78
    dewsmom78 Posts: 498 Member
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    My husband and I are separated right now. It has been a stressful few months, so I totally understand. I know there is a lack of motivation to do anything. You have to make yourself get out and exercise, I promise you will feel so much better after you do. I have been back exercise for 2 weeks and even though I still have those bad days, but the exercise really helps.
  • Lounmoun
    Lounmoun Posts: 8,426 Member
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    I'm an emotional cleaner. When I get stressed or sad my house gets incredibly clean and organized. I guess I find it soothing to put things in order. It is also somewhat physical. Maybe tackle a cleaning or home renovation project.
    Exercise could help.
    Listen to music/sing.
    Try meditation.
    Talk to someone about your feelings or write in a journal.
    Don't get drunk or eat your emotions. Go ahead and cry or rage. Let it out and then start letting it go so you can fill your life with more positive energy.
    Try a new hobby or class. Volunteer somewhere. Be busy.
    Get outside.
  • Virkati
    Virkati Posts: 679 Member
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    Emotions are for feeling. Food is for fueling your body. They are not related. They are not interchangeable. They cannot be substituted for each other.

    That's been a hard lesson for me to learn, but I think I finally got it. If the emotions get too strong, cry it out. Eventually it will mellow out. I've cried on the treadmill and left the pain of my heart and the sweat of my determination in a puddle on the floor. This pain WILL pass, I promise.
  • fairy2b
    fairy2b Posts: 126 Member
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    "Your mother did not raise you with a wolf in your chest so you could howl over losing a man." -R.I.D

    As much as you are hurting and as hard as this feels, my advice is to channel your hurt into self improvement. There is no better time than when you find yourself alone to get to know yourself once again, rediscover who you are and focus on self betterment. Whenever I went through breakups, I took that as an opportunity to self reflect, figure out what lessons I learned, what gains I made, what losses I suffered and work towards being the best I can be. You will find someone who falls wildly in love with you and treasures your presence more than anything else in the world. And you owe it to yourself to be the best version of you when that time comes. <3
  • ShibaEars
    ShibaEars Posts: 3,928 Member
    edited April 2015
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    When I got dumped last year I went out for dinner with my best friend and talked with her. The next day I stayed in bed for the whole day, drinking tea and watching Two Broke Girls. I was miserable and allowed myself some crying fits. It was hard the first week but I made myself get to the gym for my regular workouts. I felt almost normal after them. I went with a friend, it's harder to back out when someone is waiting for you.

    I say if you just want to lie in bed and cry, do it. Eat some junk food too if you want. But don't allow it to be more than one day. And avoid alcohol, it will only make you feel worse and could lead you to make some bad decisions (drunk texting, anyone?)

    Breakups suck, but this is a time when you can focus solely on YOU. Try a new class or hobby you'd thought about but hadn't gotten around to. Workout, if that's something you like to do. Make plans with friends that you didn't get to see as much as you would've liked. Travel somewhere new.

    :smile:
  • lisasp4
    lisasp4 Posts: 73 Member
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    I went to the supermarket after work and I was stood in the salad aisle - yes salad - a previous ex boyfriend appeared! We made pleasant chit chat and off we went.

    It made me think, if I can get over one guy, I can get over another.

    I bought my salad and treated myself to a giant Yorkshire pudding for my tea (all within my MFP limits for the day) that I filled with veg and gravy.

    I didn't do any exercise today, but it's supposed to be a C25K rest day anyway.

    I'm not letting an idiot of a guy mess up all my hard work.
  • astrose00
    astrose00 Posts: 754 Member
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    lisasp4 wrote: »
    Thanks guys. There are tonnes of good suggestions here.

    You are right - I'd just end up feeling even worse about myself if I binged because I was sad.

    What better revenge than looking super fit and making him realise what he's just thrown away :smiley:

    I think the best revenge is when you no longer care whether he realizes it or not. You will get there. Be strong and do good things for yourself. As with most relationships.that 3nd like this, we usually realize breaking up was for the best. Good luck and hang in there.
  • phoenixx866
    phoenixx866 Posts: 173 Member
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    I say if you want to lie in bed and cry, do it. If you want to have some junk food, do it -- but do it for one day. Tomorrow, go to the gym and punch the stuffing out of that punching bag.

    In seriousness, now is the time to work on /you/. The pain will pass, I promise. Just take it one step at a time.
  • elphie754
    elphie754 Posts: 7,574 Member
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    lisasp4 wrote: »
    Today I was dumped.

    All I want to do is lie in bed, cry and eat.

    How am I supposed to motivate myself to do anything?

    Has this happened to anyone else recently? Did you eat to numb the pain? I don't want to destroy all my hard work but I just don't want to do anything.

    So sorry to hear that. How long were you two together if you don't mind me asking? When I broke up with my ex, I found other things to do to keep me busy and distracted. I mainly went out with my friends. However I did binge all the week, so I guess I did turn to food myself for "comfort". Now I just tell myself you will regret it later and have stopped eating for "comfort".
  • tracie_minus100
    tracie_minus100 Posts: 465 Member
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    I know all about emotional eating, so I totally sympathize.
    Replace the emotional eating with exercise. It helps so much more, and is actually good for you. You'll just feel worse if you eat your feelings.
  • callsitlikeiseeit
    callsitlikeiseeit Posts: 8,627 Member
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    work out with the matra of ' im getting hotter for my next man'

    give yourself a day to wallow and cry and eat your feelings but then get back to working on a better and healthier you and *kitten* the jerk who left you!
  • HumboldtFred
    HumboldtFred Posts: 159 Member
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    I just wanted to say how very impressed I am at the response here. I wish I had heeded such advise when my marriage ended. Faith in humanity restored.
  • hotnumber
    hotnumber Posts: 222 Member
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    You want to stay in bed and cry? Wouldn't you feel better if you punched something? That's the best time to get in a good workout. Go take some boxing classes and feel better soon
  • Machka9
    Machka9 Posts: 25,194 Member
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    lisasp4 wrote: »
    I went to the supermarket after work and I was stood in the salad aisle - yes salad - a previous ex boyfriend appeared! We made pleasant chit chat and off we went.

    It made me think, if I can get over one guy, I can get over another.

    I bought my salad and treated myself to a giant Yorkshire pudding for my tea (all within my MFP limits for the day) that I filled with veg and gravy.

    I didn't do any exercise today, but it's supposed to be a C25K rest day anyway.

    I'm not letting an idiot of a guy mess up all my hard work.

    Good for you.


    And remember, now is your chance to focus on you and your goals.

  • Machka9
    Machka9 Posts: 25,194 Member
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    maasha81 wrote: »
    Ironically, I looked my best during my divorce. I invested my spare time in a new hobby which happened to be kayaking. I also worked out a lot more. I used all my spent energy into working out ..it was therapeutic.

    Find something to distract yourself. As previous poster indicated, eating is a temporary fix.

    Me too ... and my energies went into cycling.

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