Embarrased..
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lloftus723 wrote: »I get what you are saying, but mine is more anxiety related. I can't go to the grocery store without a pep talk, and a racing heart. Something about being in public that gets to me. But knowing others could care less if I run on by is something I can remember while doing so.
A big hug for you.
Anxiety is difficult. You're at least trying to work through it and that takes a lot of courage.I saw a clip awhile back that was so true...we are the main character in the play that is our lives, to the people in our lives we are a supporting character, but to complete strangers, we are just the extras. So dont ever worry that some passerby has you as the main character in the play that is their life.
Kinda takes the load off eh?
I really, really love this. It's so true. I may even (OK, that's a lie, I know I will at some point) borrow this.lloftus723 wrote: »I get what you are saying, but mine is more anxiety related. I can't go to the grocery store without a pep talk, and a racing heart. Something about being in public that gets to me. But knowing others could care less if I run on by is something I can remember while doing so.
A big hug for you. Anxiety is difficult. You're at least trying to work through it and that takes a lot of courage.I saw a clip awhile back that was so true...we are the main character in the play that is our lives, to the people in our lives we are a supporting character, but to complete strangers, we are just the extras. So dont ever worry that some passerby has you as the main character in the play that is their life.
Kinda takes the load off eh?
I really, really love this. It's so true. I may even (OK, that's a lie, I know I will at some point) borrow this.
Think we could all learn a lesson from this philosophy,,,,
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I have the worst eyesight, but haven't had eye surgery and hate contact lenses. I take my glasses off to work out and can't see A THING. Once someone approached me at the gym and started talking to me, I had to squint and lean almost in her face to realize she was a co-worker. So, if you're a member of MY gym and it appears I'm looking at you, I can't actually SEE you.0
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I like to think I'm a person who doesn't care what others think.....but I probably care more than I'd like to admit. I feel this way at times, too.
I care about what I think about me more. I think it's ridiculous for me to not do something because some person I don't even know may think a mean thing. And if they were to say it out loud to me, while that may sting, I'd think more of what kind of a sad miserable person would ever do that and feel more sympathy for them.
Plus I feel if something really scares me, then I should do it. I'm not always 100% able to follow this every time, but most times these thoughts get me into a mindset to get out there and do it. I haven't regretted once.0 -
lloftus723 wrote: »I get what you are saying, but mine is more anxiety related. I can't go to the grocery store without a pep talk, and a racing heart. Something about being in public that gets to me. But knowing others could care less if I run on by is something I can remember while doing so.
A big hug for you. Anxiety is difficult. You're at least trying to work through it and that takes a lot of courage.I saw a clip awhile back that was so true...we are the main character in the play that is our lives, to the people in our lives we are a supporting character, but to complete strangers, we are just the extras. So dont ever worry that some passerby has you as the main character in the play that is their life.
Kinda takes the load off eh?
I really, really love this. It's so true. I may even (OK, that's a lie, I know I will at some point) borrow this.
Definitely!!! Heres the clip I was talking about...Called The Science of Awkwardness. Posting about it here reminded me Ive been meaning to watch it with kiddo, and she said that it was really interesting and took a lot of it to heart.
https://youtu.be/o268qbb_0BMlloftus723 wrote: »I get what you are saying, but mine is more anxiety related. I can't go to the grocery store without a pep talk, and a racing heart. Something about being in public that gets to me. But knowing others could care less if I run on by is something I can remember while doing so.
I have an anxiety disorder, and can relate to the pep talk to go to the grocery store... heck, it once took me so long to check my mail that my mailman returned everything to sender in my box, and its *literally* right downstairs.
Not sure if its the same, but my issue is I get to thinking too much. I think too much about all the possible things I could do wrong, say wrong, mess up etc etc... how people will look at me, react to me..its exhausting to be honest. I can talk myself out of anything. Even just to go spend time with friends Ive known nearly 10 years now, who I KNOW love and accept me, I end up cancelling on them a good 80% of the time..maybe more.
What helps me out *a lot* is meditation...guided meditation specifically, it calms me down and keeps me from thinking and over-thinking things. I also make a conscious effort to think about what is happening *right now* not what might happen, or could happen...but right now. Nothing is happening...that is what is real. Whatever possibilities I could dream of have not happened, and probably wont ever happen. That helps to keep me centered.
Im not 100%, but Im WAAAY better now than I used to be. Anyway, just offering up some coping techniques for anxiety that I hope helps somewhat!0 -
lloftus723 wrote: »How do you get to the mindset of not caring what others think?
I can't say I don't like to workout in public, but I PREFER to have no one around. I do a lot to make sure I run and exercise in places nobody goes. I especially like hiking away from crowds.
Honestly though, I don't worry about it and don't care what others think. I work at a college, and I workout with all the athletes, and I am sure they have opinions about this 46 year old trying to do what I do. I just don't care.
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ot sure if its the same, but my issue is I get to thinking too much. I think too much about all the possible things I could do wrong, say wrong, mess up etc etc... how people will look at me, react to me..its exhausting to be honest. I can talk myself out of anything. Even just to go spend time with friends Ive known nearly 10 years now, who I KNOW love and accept me, I end up cancelling on them a good 80% of the time..maybe more.
To a T. And has gotten worse after having kids. If I am alone, its doing something embarassing, car accidents on my way to a location, I check my wallet about sixty times to make sure I have money or call my debit cards (nothing worse than having your card decline) running into someone, just on and in. With the kids its more hold their hands so no one steals them, dont touch anything, dont run across the road, dont break that, I am constantly worried about the what ifs and thinking way too much into things. lol its very exhausting and rediculous . And I feel terrible for my kids but thats why we dont go very many places. I sweat like a pig and just ugh. Like I said not sure what brought it on but it just seems to get worse. Maybe just breaking out and dealing with it, maybe with the "no one cares" on repeat I can get over it. What type of meditation do you do?0 -
Not to scare you off from the idiots we lovingly call our public, I've been chased by angry dogs, nearly crashed from dodging squirrels, numerous drivers nearly hitting me, flat tires, navigating strictly from gps in unknown terrain, & more......wear your sunblock & get out there. If you're at the gym, plug in your headset music, grab a towel, bring a water bottle & your set.
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Being old helps. After a while, you just go for it. One of the great joys of being a mature woman. Other people just have to deal.
Nearly everyone in the world is too much in to themselves to notice anyone else. Especially in the gym. The mirrors? To check out their form. Just think of it. A room full of people just like you. So be mindful and be generous with your compliments, and keep snark to yourself. After all, that's what you are hoping for.
My now-hubby is a long-time gym hound, and we had a lot of dates there. Having him around for moral support was great. After a while I stopped caring what other people were doing other than remembering to wipe their equipment afterwards.
For the odd duck that does say something nasty? Put them in a virtual box called, "Open, never."
If your anxiety is getting out of control and interfering with your life, I heard that cognitive behavior therapy can really help.0 -
You get over it by doing it repeatedly. No easier way. That and just realizing most people are just going about their own day and not out to ridicule strangers.0
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I like to think I'm a person who doesn't care what others think.....but I probably care more than I'd like to admit. I feel this way at times, too.
I care about what I think about me more. I think it's ridiculous for me to not do something because some person I don't even know may think a mean thing. And if they were to say it out loud to me, while that may sting, I'd think more of what kind of a sad miserable person would ever do that and feel more sympathy for them.
Plus I feel if something really scares me, then I should do it. I'm not always 100% able to follow this every time, but most times these thoughts get me into a mindset to get out there and do it. I haven't regretted once.
Like it!!
Getting a few new mantras here - great thread! Basically, who gives a flying batsquirrel's *kitten* to whatever anyone else thinks; its you that is important. Do what you can do when you can do it.......
Apt timing for me - I have been out of game for years, but soon hopefully able to do more and there is a gym nearby. It looks intimidating on the website,,,,,,of course!! All glorious toned blondes etc.....but hey, I will just ne the short fat extra in the background. Bit like Danny de Vito's sister.........0 -
MamaMollyT wrote: »You get over it by doing it repeatedly. No easier way. That and just realizing most people are just going about their own day and not out to ridicule strangers.
I agree.
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lloftus723 wrote: »ot sure if its the same, but my issue is I get to thinking too much. I think too much about all the possible things I could do wrong, say wrong, mess up etc etc... how people will look at me, react to me..its exhausting to be honest. I can talk myself out of anything. Even just to go spend time with friends Ive known nearly 10 years now, who I KNOW love and accept me, I end up cancelling on them a good 80% of the time..maybe more.
To a T. And has gotten worse after having kids. If I am alone, its doing something embarassing, car accidents on my way to a location, I check my wallet about sixty times to make sure I have money or call my debit cards (nothing worse than having your card decline) running into someone, just on and in. With the kids its more hold their hands so no one steals them, dont touch anything, dont run across the road, dont break that, I am constantly worried about the what ifs and thinking way too much into things. lol its very exhausting and rediculous . And I feel terrible for my kids but thats why we dont go very many places. I sweat like a pig and just ugh. Like I said not sure what brought it on but it just seems to get worse. Maybe just breaking out and dealing with it, maybe with the "no one cares" on repeat I can get over it. What type of meditation do you do?
Wow..yeah, I feel you. Im thankful for kiddo, she is the only person in the world to know just how bad my anxiety can get, but shes super patient and so understanding. And to be honest, is a huge reason why Im as grounded as I manage to be, cause she will convince me to get out there, and I was really touched when a couple months ago, out of the blue she told me how proud she was of me for not missing any work....I still think of that when I want to take a day off, too inspiring
Anyway, yeah just look up guided meditation on youtube.. I find it way better than any others, because it tells you to paint a picture in your mind, of what to see and feel and smell etc...and I get so focused on that, that I stop thinking of anything else. I found that the music, waves crashing, wind chimes all that did nothing for me, cause my mind would steady be running at 100%.
And I wont not mention therapy. Its how I even found out that I have a disorder, was able to put a name to it, and they taught me a ton of coping skills to help me get through the worst moments. They put me on a couple different meds too, buuuut...the idea that I was so bad off I needed meds made me so stressed and even more anxious that after a few months I opted to get off of them. Meditation FTW honestly.0 -
Thank you! I will check that out. And yes I am not too keen on medication. Not bashing those that feel the meed for it, or those that it helps, but me personally I do not want to become medically dependent. Thanks for all of your kind words!0
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techgal128 wrote: »Wear headphones. It's a little hard to focus on what people think of you when you are listening to music.
Oh, and I was at a class and worked out with a fat hole in my pants the entire time. Only reason I noticed is when I looked behind me and saw my reflection on a mirrored wall. Not sure how people I scarred in the process.
Lol omg made me day.0 -
I'm just so proud of myself that I don't care what people think! Okay it's not really that easy haha. I go to a women's only gym because the thought of a man staring at me while I'm all sweaty and making stupid faces when I lift really makes me uncomfortable. Sure women look too but it's just... different. I don't know.
Embarrassing story. Well, I love the stairmaster. My favorite machine but I have tripped countless times. Not to the point of falling off but sometimes I dont step high enough, banging my toes on the next step and having to do a super jump to get myself up and steady again. I don't know if anyone notices but I feel very embarrassed when it happens. My heart rate also peaks, scary *kitten*.0 -
The reason I like to run is because, even on my worst days, it's inherently true that no one can be better at running-as-me than me. Also, I've noticed that almost without exception, runners are great to each other about running. I was coming up a really steep hill last year on a trail I run regularly and I didn't walk and a guy passed me going the other way and yelled, "Great job!" I yelled back, "Thanks!" and he yelled, "We're both awesome today!" and went on his way. I do a lot of 5K's and nobody is ever bitchy about the form, speed, weight, or appearance of anyone else. If they notice you, they do it with kindness. Otherwise, they're wrapped up in their own thing. You are the only person who can be the best you at anything. Shuffle, sweat, huff, whatever it is you do -- nobody's watching, and if they are, they're not thinking anything you need to worry about. If they're thinking something positive, they might even say it to you! It's the same as the mirror. No one cares about what you look like in the mirror even half as much as you do!0
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The older you get the less you let that kind of stuff bother you.0
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I had the same issue starting. I had a minor fear of working out in public. I started working out at home. Did insanity for 9 weeks. Lost about 35 pounds and once i could actually run for longer than 10 minutes wihout dying, i felt better about running outside or going to the gym. Just have to start somewhere. Even if its inside your own home at first0
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lloftus723 wrote: »get how you're feeling but, honestly, think about the last time you saw someone running in your neighborhood or at the park. What did you think? Did you really notice them? What were your thoughts upon seeing them? Were they negative or more than a passing thought?
Honestly, when I see someone else running, I usually think either (1) dang, I hope I’ll get that fit, or (2) good for this person, working out when it’s probably hard as heck. I lost about 45 lbs and running was hell when I first started: both because I wanted to stop and because I worried what people thought about me. The way I see it, anyone worth their salt will respect another person who is making efforts to get healthier.
More recently, as I got into weight training, I was *terrified* of going into the lifting room. It’s usually full of dudes, most of them jocks, and I worried a lot about what they’ll think of me, with my low starting weights and obvious inexperience. Nowadays I realize that either they don’t care or they think I’m badass
. You gotta keep a positive self-image, and never forget that people who would think less of you for working out are just completely not even worth caring about. Plus, most people either don’t notice or have a positive reaction. Most people aren’t meanies! 0
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