Help motivating a teenager!

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jemmadawnej
jemmadawnej Posts: 19 Member
edited April 2015 in Health and Weight Loss
Hi everyone
My 13yo son is at an unhealthy weight. I need any suggestions on how to motivate him to be more active. The only exercise he gets is in gym class (3 days/WK) and when I manage to talk him into coming with me for a walk. Absolutely no interest in sports.

I've cleaned the house of junk food, and make sure he has an after school snack...I'm usually home an hour after him and the cupboards will be raided, lol. He's always wanting to eat...like 30m after dinner.

I want to motivate him, but I don't want to nag and make it worse. He is pretty touchy about everything lately as it is, and I'm so scared I'm going to make it worse somehow.
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  • jemmadawnej
    jemmadawnej Posts: 19 Member
    edited April 2015
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    There, edited
  • jennifershoo
    jennifershoo Posts: 3,198 Member
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    Good question. I would not nag him for sure. Don't tell him to never eat junk because he will do the opposite. There is really no activity that interests him? Biking? Swimming? Just throwing a ball or Frisbee with you?
  • alfiedn
    alfiedn Posts: 425 Member
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    At 13, do you think it's possible he may be getting ready for a growth spurt? I know some children tend to "bulk" a bit and then they grow and thin out.
  • tephanies1234
    tephanies1234 Posts: 299 Member
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    How much overweight is "unhealthy weight"?
  • navyrigger46
    navyrigger46 Posts: 1,301 Member
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    Does he play video games? Watch TV? Is he at all interested in sports?

    Rigger
  • laura3977
    laura3977 Posts: 191 Member
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    Well, weight control mainly has to do with diet rather than exercise. Obviously he needs to be active but unless he's involved in a sport where he is practicing a lot and has games, he will most likely not be active enough to burn off the excess calories that he is eating.

    My question is, other than getting rid of the "junk" food, what else are you doing at home in regards to the foods that he eats in order to help him with his weight?
  • Laurend224
    Laurend224 Posts: 1,748 Member
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    You say no sports, how about something like martial arts? Riding his bike? Hiking? Is he in scouts or anything like that?
  • TheVirgoddess
    TheVirgoddess Posts: 4,535 Member
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    jemmadawnej wrote: »
    Hi everyone
    My 13yo son is at an unhealthy weight. I need any suggestions on how to motivate him to be more active. The only exercise he gets is in gym class (3 days/WK) and when I manage to talk him into coming with me for a walk. Absolutely no interest in sports.

    I've cleaned the house of junk food, and make sure he has an after school snack...I'm usually home an hour after him and the cupboards will be raided, lol. He's always wanting to eat...like 30m after dinner.

    I want to motivate him, but I don't want to nag and make it worse. He is pretty touchy about everything lately as it is, and I'm so scared I'm going to make it worse somehow.

    What is an unhealthy weight?
  • BZAH10
    BZAH10 Posts: 5,710 Member
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    What does his doctor say? Growing boys generally eat a lot but their height and weight even out over time. It's good to keep track of things and try to have healthy foods available, but what is his current height? What height do you think he'll get to? All of those are factors at this point.
  • segacs
    segacs Posts: 4,599 Member
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    Like with all parenting, it's gonna take a mixture of laying down the law, using reverse psychology, and doing the best you can.

    Set a good example with the foods the rest of you eat and with the exercise habits of the whole family. Set rules if need be -- you're his mom, you can do that, even if he grumbles and resents you for it. But don't focus too much on it, because growing 13-year-old boys *do* need to eat a lot of food, and they tend to growth spurt a bit later than girls their age. And you don't want him to have unhealthy obsessions about food either.

  • maidentl
    maidentl Posts: 3,203 Member
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    tephanies1234 wrote: »
    How much overweight is "unhealthy weight"?

    I have the same question. My 13-year-old just shot up several inches and looks fine now. My boys have always grown out before up.

  • _incogNEATo_
    _incogNEATo_ Posts: 4,543 Member
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    TheVirgoddess wrote: »
    jemmadawnej wrote: »
    Hi everyone
    My 13yo son is at an unhealthy weight. I need any suggestions on how to motivate him to be more active. The only exercise he gets is in gym class (3 days/WK) and when I manage to talk him into coming with me for a walk. Absolutely no interest in sports.

    I've cleaned the house of junk food, and make sure he has an after school snack...I'm usually home an hour after him and the cupboards will be raided, lol. He's always wanting to eat...like 30m after dinner.

    I want to motivate him, but I don't want to nag and make it worse. He is pretty touchy about everything lately as it is, and I'm so scared I'm going to make it worse somehow.

    What is an unhealthy weight?

    I'd like to know this as well.
  • niamhclem21
    niamhclem21 Posts: 21 Member
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    I was a kid who hated sport and my parents made me aware that I was overweight. I have battled both extents of the weight problem. I have had periods where I didn't eat and now I have eaten too much. I would put the effort into finding a sport he likes or even just organising adventure days where the family do it together. My sister is very slim and I grew up feeling like the ugly duckling. My parents did not mean to make a difference but no matter how thin I got I have never felt really happy in my appearance. All I'm trying to say is tread carefully as 20years later my parents efforts to improve my weight still haunt me x
  • laura3977
    laura3977 Posts: 191 Member
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    _incogNEATo_ wrote: »
    TheVirgoddess wrote: »
    jemmadawnej wrote: »
    Hi everyone
    My 13yo son is at an unhealthy weight. I need any suggestions on how to motivate him to be more active. The only exercise he gets is in gym class (3 days/WK) and when I manage to talk him into coming with me for a walk. Absolutely no interest in sports.

    I've cleaned the house of junk food, and make sure he has an after school snack...I'm usually home an hour after him and the cupboards will be raided, lol. He's always wanting to eat...like 30m after dinner.

    I want to motivate him, but I don't want to nag and make it worse. He is pretty touchy about everything lately as it is, and I'm so scared I'm going to make it worse somehow.

    What is an unhealthy weight?

    I'd like to know this as well.

    Duh! Yes, that's a great question AND what does his pediatrician say? :smile:
  • TeaBea
    TeaBea Posts: 14,517 Member
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    alfiedn wrote: »
    At 13, do you think it's possible he may be getting ready for a growth spurt? I know some children tend to "bulk" a bit and then they grow and thin out.

    This^

    My nephew had a chubby phase....not anymore. Instead of a "weight" focus....help him make better choices...make it about his health.

    I like niamhclem's idea about family "adventure days"
  • callsitlikeiseeit
    callsitlikeiseeit Posts: 8,627 Member
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    Aside from we don't know how much he weighs or if he is due for a growth spurt, or if he has control/impulse issues with certain types of food...

    I have 2 teenagers. They don't have weight issues, but regardless of whether or not they did, I can not make them exercise. I CAN control what foods I bring in the house. If you try to FORCE him to do ANYTHING, all you will be met with is resentment and attitude. Pick your battles, mom. Provide healthy meals. Lots of protein, not much sugar and 'junk'. Maybe find activities on the weekend that are somewhat active- festivals and fairs, farmers markets, anything where you are out and enjoying the weather. If there is an amusement park nearby and its in the budget, maybe let him bring a friend and spend the day there (lots of walking!!)

    that said, my (much) younger brother was a porker for a few years. Then, almost overnight, he shot up WAYYYYY up and balanced out. Teens eat. a LOT. like... everything. my brother still comes to my house and raids my kitchen and hes 23 now? I swear, I start to cook dinner some days and he magically appears- and its not like he lives next door- he lives a half hour away! LOL! And hes perfectly normal sized. ;)
  • segacs
    segacs Posts: 4,599 Member
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    The other thing to keep in mind is that weight issues are so emotionally loaded for teenagers. As adults, most of us have the capacity to look at these things dispassionately and logically: I'm overweight and I need to lose for my health. Fine. Okay.

    But for teens, it's so tied up with issues of self-esteem, self-image, shame and guilt. We may say "eat healthier" but what they're hearing is "you're fat" and "you're worthless" and "you're being judged by everyone". We may say "get more exercise" but what they're hearing is "you're bad at sports and everyone makes fun of you in gym class". As he starts to get into the competitive years of dating and wanting to meet girls (or, sorry, I won't make assumptions here, boys, for that matter), then that already fragile self-esteem could get even worse, since teenage boys tend to be judged on their athleticism.

    His sense of self-worth is what's really key here as he goes through the difficult teenage years. Focus on things that build his confidence and make him feel good about himself. What does he enjoy? What does he get excited about? That's what's the most important thing right now.
  • Queenmunchy
    Queenmunchy Posts: 3,380 Member
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    callsitlikeiseeit wrote: »
    my brother still comes to my house and raids my kitchen and hes 23 now? I swear, I start to cook dinner some days and he magically appears- and its not like he lives next door- he lives a half hour away! LOL! And hes perfectly normal sized. ;)

    If your brother was 28 he would be MY younger brother, lol. Happens to me at least once a week!
  • Lounmoun
    Lounmoun Posts: 8,426 Member
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    Pay him to do more physical chores around the house. Bonus is that it also teaches life skills and keeps him busy. Mowing the lawn, raking, weeding, digging a garden, sweeping, cutting wood, laundry, etc.
    Look at active video games or apps. My dd like dancing games but there are also bowling, tennis, or non-sporty games that require movement.
    My dd gets a dollar a week if she exercises 3 days. She usually does it with me. She is not overweight but everyone needs to move to stay healthy and strong.
    My teenager is motivated by money because she wants to buy things. We do not give an allowance so she has to earn money by doing chores, exercise or other tasks for the extras she wants.
  • callsitlikeiseeit
    callsitlikeiseeit Posts: 8,627 Member
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    Queenmunchy wrote: »
    callsitlikeiseeit wrote: »
    my brother still comes to my house and raids my kitchen and hes 23 now? I swear, I start to cook dinner some days and he magically appears- and its not like he lives next door- he lives a half hour away! LOL! And hes perfectly normal sized. ;)

    If your brother was 28 he would be MY younger brother, lol. Happens to me at least once a week!

    shhhh don't let him know, but i love it ;) LOLOLOLOL

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