Four bags of Oreos
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I assume that your husband has no intention of eating all that at one time. There is a big difference between having it in the house and having it in your stomach.0
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Try to persuade him if he has sweettooth that he eats raw fruit, and not zero nutrient refined sugar in sweets. Bananas are a whole lot better, or apples. Even dried fruits are much better.0
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kimondo666 wrote: »Try to persuade him if he has sweettooth that he eats raw fruit, and not zero nutrient refined sugar in sweets. Bananas are a whole lot better, or apples. Even dried fruits are much better.
Why? What is wrong with having an Oreo or two if they want it?0 -
APeacefulWarrior wrote: »Hubby and I had "the discussion" about eating more sensibly and healthier, and less junk food, etc, etc, etc, this weekend. (He has more weight to lose than I do.) Thought we were on the same page, until he came home from the grocery store this evening with four bags of Oreos, chocolate ice cream, eight pounds of pork sausage patties, and a supersize bag of generic Reese's pieces cereal.
I'm not even sure we're in the same book, much less on the same page. How do you handle these situations??
2 oreos is around 100 calories
I fail to see the issue0 -
APeacefulWarrior wrote: »Hubby and I had "the discussion" about eating more sensibly and healthier, and less junk food, etc, etc, etc, this weekend. (He has more weight to lose than I do.) Thought we were on the same page, until he came home from the grocery store this evening with four bags of Oreos, chocolate ice cream, eight pounds of pork sausage patties, and a supersize bag of generic Reese's pieces cereal.
I'm not even sure we're in the same book, much less on the same page. How do you handle these situations??
2 oreos is around 100 calories
I fail to see the issue
The issue is not simply one of CICO. The OP's husband has a chronic medical condition that is often exacerbated by certain foods (ie. those with refined sugar). Just because you and others fail to see the issue does not mean that there is no issue.0 -
I completely understand your frustration. His illness will affect both of you, so I'm not with those who say "his body his way". It should be a joint decision. The sad truth is that what "should" be isn't what usually happens. It's near impossible to force people to change, but throwing your hands and going "que sera, sera" is not a solution either, not with a loved one. I personally would fight for someone I love till the end, no matter what the outcome is.
You may not be able to change him, but you may be able to nudge him into making better choices by helping him resolve what may be standing in the way. Try to see what makes him reluctant to take care of his health. Is he afraid of failing you or himself? Is he afraid all of his hard work will be for nothing because diabetes has a mind of its own? Is the idea of dieting too overwhelming for him and he fears he won't be able to eat the things he likes? Is he feeling you are throttling forward too fast and you may have better results if you slowed down and introduced habits really slowly? Does he have certain habits that he is too emotionally attached to? Does he feel controlled by you when you dictate what he should and shouldn't eat? Is he depressed or has issues that may take precedence to eating healthy? Does he feel watched and under pressure? Does he simply not care enough to make a change?
Once you find out the obstacles (and it's easier said than done) you may have better luck at providing the appropriate support that would help get better results than arbitrary support. It could be as simple as putting him in charge of eating healthy (the food police) or introducing habits slowly, or as complicated as a full fledged action plan. My heart goes out to you. I hope you find a way.0 -
That's hard. Can you return the produce to the store? Perhaps you and your husband need to sit down and make a shopping list and don't detour from it?APeacefulWarrior wrote: »I'm sensing the overall feeling is put up and shut up until the EMT's come to pick one of us up. (I know there are a couple people who have a better understanding of why I'm so upset - I realize that doesn't represent you)
So essentially, if you witnessed your spouse or significant other downing a bottle of poison, you'd just sit back ( or join them) and say "hey, he (or she) is an adult and if they want to finish off that poison, well then, that's their right."? That doesn't seem very loving, concerned or compassionate, but maybe that's where we are as a society... accepting and then sticking your head in the sand to ignore seems to be the expectation. Not sure I can be on board with that, but I think that's what he expects of me too.
This. My husband and I are in a partnership. If he were taking family money to gamble, I can say something. If he began smoking and stinking up the house I can say something. If he tries to kill himself with meth I can say something, if he tries to kill himself with obesity, what all of a sudden I should butt out?
Sorry, but I DO have a vested interest in my beloved being healthy. *kitten* happens, despite the best of circumstances but I'll be damned if I'm gonna loose him to something preventable.0 -
I can see someone being bothered because their partner isn't eating healthier and taking care of themselves but being angry with them because they're not eating the unhealthy foods? I can't imagine having a fight with my husband over something like that.0
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APeacefulWarrior wrote: »Hubby and I had "the discussion" about eating more sensibly and healthier, and less junk food, etc, etc, etc, this weekend. (He has more weight to lose than I do.) Thought we were on the same page, until he came home from the grocery store this evening with four bags of Oreos, chocolate ice cream, eight pounds of pork sausage patties, and a supersize bag of generic Reese's pieces cereal.
I'm not even sure we're in the same book, much less on the same page. How do you handle these situations??
2 oreos is around 100 calories
I fail to see the issue
The issue is not simply one of CICO. The OP's husband has a chronic medical condition that is often exacerbated by certain foods (ie. those with refined sugar). Just because you and others fail to see the issue does not mean that there is no issue.
Didn't realise she was a carer for someone who does not have a full ability to make their own decisions
her decision is eat them or not
his decision is eat them or not
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Yeah, it's hard -- really, really hard -- to stand by while someone you care about does something potentially self-destructive, but...
You can't control other people.
He's your husband, not your child.
So, sure, vent, rage, whatever... but all the talking with him? Won't change him. That motivation has to come from within himself, just like your desire to change came from within you.0 -
APeacefulWarrior wrote: »Hubby and I had "the discussion" about eating more sensibly and healthier, and less junk food, etc, etc, etc, this weekend. (He has more weight to lose than I do.) Thought we were on the same page, until he came home from the grocery store this evening with four bags of Oreos, chocolate ice cream, eight pounds of pork sausage patties, and a supersize bag of generic Reese's pieces cereal.
I'm not even sure we're in the same book, much less on the same page. How do you handle these situations??
Nothing wrong with the food he chose-he just needs to make sure he's fitting them into his calorie goals
ETA: just read further and saw that he has diabetes-yeah, different issue then. Unfortunately, if he's not ready to take his medical condition seriously there's nothing you really can do.0 -
APeacefulWarrior wrote: »Hubby and I had "the discussion" about eating more sensibly and healthier, and less junk food, etc, etc, etc, this weekend. (He has more weight to lose than I do.) Thought we were on the same page, until he came home from the grocery store this evening with four bags of Oreos, chocolate ice cream, eight pounds of pork sausage patties, and a supersize bag of generic Reese's pieces cereal.
I'm not even sure we're in the same book, much less on the same page. How do you handle these situations??
2 oreos is around 100 calories
I fail to see the issue
The issue is not simply one of CICO. The OP's husband has a chronic medical condition that is often exacerbated by certain foods (ie. those with refined sugar). Just because you and others fail to see the issue does not mean that there is no issue.
Couldn't have said it better myself!
Some people appear to get very het up by others making a decision to quit junk food. Those people must feel very defensive and insecure about choosing to eat such things themselves.
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Chrysalid2014 wrote: »APeacefulWarrior wrote: »Hubby and I had "the discussion" about eating more sensibly and healthier, and less junk food, etc, etc, etc, this weekend. (He has more weight to lose than I do.) Thought we were on the same page, until he came home from the grocery store this evening with four bags of Oreos, chocolate ice cream, eight pounds of pork sausage patties, and a supersize bag of generic Reese's pieces cereal.
I'm not even sure we're in the same book, much less on the same page. How do you handle these situations??
2 oreos is around 100 calories
I fail to see the issue
The issue is not simply one of CICO. The OP's husband has a chronic medical condition that is often exacerbated by certain foods (ie. those with refined sugar). Just because you and others fail to see the issue does not mean that there is no issue.
Couldn't have said it better myself!
Some people appear to get very het up by others making a decision to quit junk food. Those people must feel very defensive and insecure about choosing to eat such things themselves.
And what would you suggest the OP do to a grown man who bought the food?
She's not eating them, but he bought them.
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Chrysalid2014 wrote: »APeacefulWarrior wrote: »Hubby and I had "the discussion" about eating more sensibly and healthier, and less junk food, etc, etc, etc, this weekend. (He has more weight to lose than I do.) Thought we were on the same page, until he came home from the grocery store this evening with four bags of Oreos, chocolate ice cream, eight pounds of pork sausage patties, and a supersize bag of generic Reese's pieces cereal.
I'm not even sure we're in the same book, much less on the same page. How do you handle these situations??
2 oreos is around 100 calories
I fail to see the issue
The issue is not simply one of CICO. The OP's husband has a chronic medical condition that is often exacerbated by certain foods (ie. those with refined sugar). Just because you and others fail to see the issue does not mean that there is no issue.
Couldn't have said it better myself!
Some people appear to get very het up by others making a decision to quit junk food. Those people must feel very defensive and insecure about choosing to eat such things themselves.
Yeah, no.0 -
mamapeach910 wrote: »Chrysalid2014 wrote: »APeacefulWarrior wrote: »Hubby and I had "the discussion" about eating more sensibly and healthier, and less junk food, etc, etc, etc, this weekend. (He has more weight to lose than I do.) Thought we were on the same page, until he came home from the grocery store this evening with four bags of Oreos, chocolate ice cream, eight pounds of pork sausage patties, and a supersize bag of generic Reese's pieces cereal.
I'm not even sure we're in the same book, much less on the same page. How do you handle these situations??
2 oreos is around 100 calories
I fail to see the issue
The issue is not simply one of CICO. The OP's husband has a chronic medical condition that is often exacerbated by certain foods (ie. those with refined sugar). Just because you and others fail to see the issue does not mean that there is no issue.
Couldn't have said it better myself!
Some people appear to get very het up by others making a decision to quit junk food. Those people must feel very defensive and insecure about choosing to eat such things themselves.
And what would you suggest the OP do to a grown man who bought the food?
She's not eating them, but he bought them.
I don't know – some kind of intervention, perhaps? Arrange a meeting with other family members and his doctor to give him a stern wake-up call?
The OP likened her situation to watching a loved one ingest poison. I thought that was a good analogy.0 -
Chrysalid2014 wrote: »mamapeach910 wrote: »Chrysalid2014 wrote: »APeacefulWarrior wrote: »Hubby and I had "the discussion" about eating more sensibly and healthier, and less junk food, etc, etc, etc, this weekend. (He has more weight to lose than I do.) Thought we were on the same page, until he came home from the grocery store this evening with four bags of Oreos, chocolate ice cream, eight pounds of pork sausage patties, and a supersize bag of generic Reese's pieces cereal.
I'm not even sure we're in the same book, much less on the same page. How do you handle these situations??
2 oreos is around 100 calories
I fail to see the issue
The issue is not simply one of CICO. The OP's husband has a chronic medical condition that is often exacerbated by certain foods (ie. those with refined sugar). Just because you and others fail to see the issue does not mean that there is no issue.
Couldn't have said it better myself!
Some people appear to get very het up by others making a decision to quit junk food. Those people must feel very defensive and insecure about choosing to eat such things themselves.
And what would you suggest the OP do to a grown man who bought the food?
She's not eating them, but he bought them.
I don't know – some kind of intervention, perhaps? Arrange a meeting with other family members and his doctor to give him a stern wake-up call?
The OP likened her situation to watching a loved one ingest poison. I thought that was a good analogy.
If the diabetes diagnosis was not a wake up call, what makes you think another talk with the doctor (over stuff the doctor has probably said many times already) will be any different?0 -
Chrysalid2014 wrote: »mamapeach910 wrote: »Chrysalid2014 wrote: »APeacefulWarrior wrote: »Hubby and I had "the discussion" about eating more sensibly and healthier, and less junk food, etc, etc, etc, this weekend. (He has more weight to lose than I do.) Thought we were on the same page, until he came home from the grocery store this evening with four bags of Oreos, chocolate ice cream, eight pounds of pork sausage patties, and a supersize bag of generic Reese's pieces cereal.
I'm not even sure we're in the same book, much less on the same page. How do you handle these situations??
2 oreos is around 100 calories
I fail to see the issue
The issue is not simply one of CICO. The OP's husband has a chronic medical condition that is often exacerbated by certain foods (ie. those with refined sugar). Just because you and others fail to see the issue does not mean that there is no issue.
Couldn't have said it better myself!
Some people appear to get very het up by others making a decision to quit junk food. Those people must feel very defensive and insecure about choosing to eat such things themselves.
And what would you suggest the OP do to a grown man who bought the food?
She's not eating them, but he bought them.
I don't know – some kind of intervention, perhaps? Arrange a meeting with other family members and his doctor to give him a stern wake-up call?
The OP likened her situation to watching a loved one ingest poison. I thought that was a good analogy.
I have an extremely happy marriage to a man who suffers with a chronic condition that could potentially be ameliorated through diet
I have an extremely happy marriage because I am married to an adult who is capable of making his own decisions and whilst we can chat about it, or I might occasionally mention a concern, I would never infantalise him
Sounds like some think she should sit him in the naughty corner0 -
Chrysalid2014 wrote: »mamapeach910 wrote: »Chrysalid2014 wrote: »APeacefulWarrior wrote: »Hubby and I had "the discussion" about eating more sensibly and healthier, and less junk food, etc, etc, etc, this weekend. (He has more weight to lose than I do.) Thought we were on the same page, until he came home from the grocery store this evening with four bags of Oreos, chocolate ice cream, eight pounds of pork sausage patties, and a supersize bag of generic Reese's pieces cereal.
I'm not even sure we're in the same book, much less on the same page. How do you handle these situations??
2 oreos is around 100 calories
I fail to see the issue
The issue is not simply one of CICO. The OP's husband has a chronic medical condition that is often exacerbated by certain foods (ie. those with refined sugar). Just because you and others fail to see the issue does not mean that there is no issue.
Couldn't have said it better myself!
Some people appear to get very het up by others making a decision to quit junk food. Those people must feel very defensive and insecure about choosing to eat such things themselves.
And what would you suggest the OP do to a grown man who bought the food?
She's not eating them, but he bought them.
I don't know – some kind of intervention, perhaps? Arrange a meeting with other family members and his doctor to give him a stern wake-up call?
The OP likened her situation to watching a loved one ingest poison. I thought that was a good analogy.
Intervention? You really are reaching. I think his diagnosis was wake up call enough.
Spouses cannot treat each other like infants.
She voiced her concerns, but ultimately, his choices are his.
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Chrysalid2014 wrote: »mamapeach910 wrote: »Chrysalid2014 wrote: »APeacefulWarrior wrote: »Hubby and I had "the discussion" about eating more sensibly and healthier, and less junk food, etc, etc, etc, this weekend. (He has more weight to lose than I do.) Thought we were on the same page, until he came home from the grocery store this evening with four bags of Oreos, chocolate ice cream, eight pounds of pork sausage patties, and a supersize bag of generic Reese's pieces cereal.
I'm not even sure we're in the same book, much less on the same page. How do you handle these situations??
2 oreos is around 100 calories
I fail to see the issue
The issue is not simply one of CICO. The OP's husband has a chronic medical condition that is often exacerbated by certain foods (ie. those with refined sugar). Just because you and others fail to see the issue does not mean that there is no issue.
Couldn't have said it better myself!
Some people appear to get very het up by others making a decision to quit junk food. Those people must feel very defensive and insecure about choosing to eat such things themselves.
And what would you suggest the OP do to a grown man who bought the food?
She's not eating them, but he bought them.
I don't know – some kind of intervention, perhaps? Arrange a meeting with other family members and his doctor to give him a stern wake-up call?
The OP likened her situation to watching a loved one ingest poison. I thought that was a good analogy.
I have an extremely happy marriage to a man who suffers with a chronic condition that could potentially be ameliorated through diet
I have an extremely happy marriage because I am married to an adult who is capable of making his own decisions and whilst we can chat about it, or I might occasionally mention a concern, I would never infantalise him
Sounds like some think she should sit him in the naughty corner
This. My husband was pre-hypertension/ had high cholesterol and he just didn't care/wasn't ready to deal with it, even though his doctor got after him for several years, his work got after him etc. You cannot force an adult to deal with an issue, until they are ready. I made sure to never bug him about it and instead just led by example. A year and half into my own maintenance he woke up one morning and told me he was finally ready. Fast forward several months-he's lost 25lbs and his blood pressure and cholesterol have greatly improved But he had to do it in his own timing, on his own terms. 0 -
A few things:
Sometimes it just takes time to adjust and get educated. If you all just had this talk I think one failed shopping trip does not necessarily mean he does not care, it just means he needs to keep working at getting better.
Sometimes making things more healthy sneakily works. I might get slammed for this but there have been a few things I have changes without telling my husband and sometimes he does not even notice. I started putting ground turkey in tacos instead of ground beef (I was looking for lower fat, then stumbled upon the fact that ground turkey is actually cheaper where I live!). I think I made tacos like 6 times this way before he caught on one day. "This isn't ground beef is it?" "Nope but you have not eaten ground beef in tacos for a while now so shut up and eat it" "*shrugs* ok...." And usually he is very resistant to change.
Good luck, I hope you guys figure things out 0
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