Four bags of Oreos
Replies
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brazilpaul wrote: »My suggestion is to do what my wife did to me to get me kickstarted on changing my eating habits. Take the bags of oreos, and ice cream, and put them in the garbage. I wasn't mad, I was surprised at first, but I did find other things to begin snacking on. If that stuff was in my house, I confess I would eat it. If its not in the house, it's so much easier to eliminate from your diet and change your habits. Take it upon yourself to ensure healthier snacks are always available and if he legitimately wants to change his habits, he will.
If I did that to my husband he would not be impressed not just because his snacks are gone but because I just took about 50$ (yes we have that much snack food in our house if not more) and burned it...what a waste...
I don't get this trying to control other adults...I mean I am a control freak and would never consider doing any of these things...
I'm a control freak too and yet, I'd never cross the line and treat my husband this way. I have too much respect for him as an individual.
That's the bottom line. There are respectful ways to deal with troublesome issues. Some of the suggestions in this thread are born from people's personal issues with the food being mentioned, not from a place of respect that should be between partners in a loving relationship.
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Carnivor0us wrote: »Maybe he wants to fit them into his calorie goals?Maybe they were on sale and he saw a deal he couldn't pass up?
These ^^^^.
You can lose weight eating whatever you want as long as you stay within your calorie goals. If you don't want that big bag of peanut butter cups, I have room in my cabinet.
No, not this. He's got a medical condition that does not allow eating those items regularly. Life isn't fair.
I stand corrected and you're right, diabetes does change the picture, but, it's still moderation--tight moderation of carbs in order to manage his diabetes.
I have diabetic friends and family members who have limited amounts of carbs, which sometimes include sweets, and they keep their blood sugar under control. That's the health issue part of it. For weight loss, though, it's calories in/calories out.
That said, I would think it's a dangerous slope for a diabetic to buy such an abundance of carby sweet gooey good stuff.
Finally, the OP's issue sounds like it's more that he didn't stick to his agreement than anything. OP, I'd be talking to my husband about this and clarifying the agreement and establishing some clear boundaries for yourself around it. You have every right to say something to him because (1) he's not sticking to your agreed upon plan and (2) you are concerned about his health. However, keep in mind you can't change him and he's going to make the ultimate decision regarding his health management. You just have to take care of you. 0 -
This is an interesting perception and merely a projection of your own stuff.Chrysalid2014 wrote: »APeacefulWarrior wrote: »Hubby and I had "the discussion" about eating more sensibly and healthier, and less junk food, etc, etc, etc, this weekend. (He has more weight to lose than I do.) Thought we were on the same page, until he came home from the grocery store this evening with four bags of Oreos, chocolate ice cream, eight pounds of pork sausage patties, and a supersize bag of generic Reese's pieces cereal.
I'm not even sure we're in the same book, much less on the same page. How do you handle these situations??
2 oreos is around 100 calories
I fail to see the issue
The issue is not simply one of CICO. The OP's husband has a chronic medical condition that is often exacerbated by certain foods (ie. those with refined sugar). Just because you and others fail to see the issue does not mean that there is no issue.
Couldn't have said it better myself!
Some people appear to get very het up by others making a decision to quit junk food. Those people must feel very defensive and insecure about choosing to eat such things themselves.
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This is an interesting perception and merely a projection of your own stuff.Chrysalid2014 wrote: »APeacefulWarrior wrote: »Hubby and I had "the discussion" about eating more sensibly and healthier, and less junk food, etc, etc, etc, this weekend. (He has more weight to lose than I do.) Thought we were on the same page, until he came home from the grocery store this evening with four bags of Oreos, chocolate ice cream, eight pounds of pork sausage patties, and a supersize bag of generic Reese's pieces cereal.
I'm not even sure we're in the same book, much less on the same page. How do you handle these situations??
2 oreos is around 100 calories
I fail to see the issue
The issue is not simply one of CICO. The OP's husband has a chronic medical condition that is often exacerbated by certain foods (ie. those with refined sugar). Just because you and others fail to see the issue does not mean that there is no issue.
Couldn't have said it better myself!
Some people appear to get very het up by others making a decision to quit junk food. Those people must feel very defensive and insecure about choosing to eat such things themselves.
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I've lost 80 pounds. I keep bringing home cookies, chocolate and ice cream. I just have them in moderation (the kids help though or I'd definitely bring home less cookies as there's no way I can eat a whole box before it gets stale).
I see your point though, my husband is always eating junk even though he's obese and has high blood pressure, and I really wish he would watch his diet. He did lose 10 pounds last year but regained it all since...0 -
Just a morning update - I'll be reading through all the responses through the day,.. all four packages of Oreos have been opened and at least 2 cookies are gone from each. The packages will be finished within a week, I'm guessing.
As for addictions - food can be just as deadly an addiction as drugs, if not more so because you can't give it up completely like drugs or alcohol.
Not our first discussion by far - in fact he has gone to drastic extremes (WLS) which failed because he believed his gastric band would fix everything with no effort on his part.
Age does make a difference - the body does not recover as well from stressors and is much more prone to serious effects. So, to those of you in your 20s and 30s - make changes now. It will be much harder to lose it later.
I'll be back after work - keep this discussion rolling...0 -
http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2013/07/31/making-the-case-for-eating-fruit/?_r=0
Here is an article discussing why it is better for your body to get sugar from whole fruit rather than added refined.0 -
APeacefulWarrior wrote: »Just a morning update - I'll be reading through all the responses through the day,.. all four packages of Oreos have been opened and at least 2 cookies are gone from each. The packages will be finished within a week, I'm guessing.
As for addictions - food can be just as deadly an addiction as drugs, if not more so because you can't give it up completely like drugs or alcohol.
Not our first discussion by far - in fact he has gone to drastic extremes (WLS) which failed because he believed his gastric band would fix everything with no effort on his part.
Age does make a difference - the body does not recover as well from stressors and is much more prone to serious effects. So, to those of you in your 20s and 30s - make changes now. It will be much harder to lose it later.
I'll be back after work - keep this discussion rolling...
sorry that is a huge NO and is smack in the face to people with real drug addictions like heroin and crack cocaine...0 -
APeacefulWarrior wrote: »Just a morning update - I'll be reading through all the responses through the day,.. all four packages of Oreos have been opened and at least 2 cookies are gone from each. The packages will be finished within a week, I'm guessing.
As for addictions - food can be just as deadly an addiction as drugs, if not more so because you can't give it up completely like drugs or alcohol.
Not our first discussion by far - in fact he has gone to drastic extremes (WLS) which failed because he believed his gastric band would fix everything with no effort on his part.
Age does make a difference - the body does not recover as well from stressors and is much more prone to serious effects. So, to those of you in your 20s and 30s - make changes now. It will be much harder to lose it later.
I'll be back after work - keep this discussion rolling...
OP, I do just want to say that my heart does go out to you with how incredibly hard this must be for you to watch happen. I can understand that you'd feel helpless, and even understand wanting to DO something.
It's a tough situation watching someone who NEEDS to change who won't do it.
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http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2013/07/31/making-the-case-for-eating-fruit/?_r=0
Here is an article discussing why it is better for your body to get sugar from whole fruit rather than added refined.
I stopped reading at Ludwig....
I will see your blog, and raise you with this one...
http://www.alanaragonblog.com/2010/01/29/the-bitter-truth-about-fructose-alarmism/
also, just because you get fiber from fruit does not make the sugar in fruit better. If I eat added sugar and take a multivitamin does it become good???
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Wait, you said he's diabetic and he brought home all that stuff? Yeah, I'd stage an intervention or something.0
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http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2013/07/31/making-the-case-for-eating-fruit/?_r=0
Here is an article discussing why it is better for your body to get sugar from whole fruit rather than added refined.
That isn't an article, it's a blog post based on quotes from those known to have a history of hyperbole about added sugar (like Lustig, who says sugar is "toxic" unless it's in fruit).0 -
I would handle that situation by not eating everything in one sitting. If he wants to eat those things, whether they fit into his calorie deficit or not, that's his business. It doesn't mean you have to eat it if it doesn't fit into your calorie goals. Only he can decide when he wants to make the effort to drop the weight, if ever.0
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http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2013/07/31/making-the-case-for-eating-fruit/?_r=0
Here is an article discussing why it is better for your body to get sugar from whole fruit rather than added refined.
Ludwig AND Lustig.
Fructose pseudo-science meets GI nonsense. Cataclysm of nonsense blog post ensues.
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In to find later.
OT: My hubby has similar medical issues that I have - HBP, high cholesterol - but he also has arthritis which would be helped somewhat with weight loss. I've suggested food tracking which he tried, but didn't make it beyond week 2 of entering everything before giving up. Hubby's the type of person who hates being pushed, shoved, guilt-tripped, and nagged into doing things. He'll go goat-mode stubborn and refuse. I do what I can without being a giant PITA. I portion out his snacks and keep his chips on top of the fridge so he has to decide if getting up and walking to the kitchen is worth a snack. He eats what I cook except at work. I can't do anymore for him than what I am. He'll either get to the point where he's ready or he'll keep complaining about his arthritis pain and how he can't tie his shoes properly without having acid reflux because his big gut is in the way.
I'd go the talking route with your hubby. Maybe get him to slow down on the sweets (4 Oreos is better than 8; it's progress). To me, your story is saying he doesn't care about himself and just wants to eat what he wants even if it puts him in the hospital.0 -
http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2013/07/31/making-the-case-for-eating-fruit/?_r=0
Here is an article discussing why it is better for your body to get sugar from whole fruit rather than added refined.
I stopped reading at Ludwig....
I will see your blog, and raise you with this one...
http://www.alanaragonblog.com/2010/01/29/the-bitter-truth-about-fructose-alarmism/
also, just because you get fiber from fruit does not make the sugar in fruit better. If I eat added sugar and take a multivitamin does it become good???
Clearly you stopped reading the article, as here is a direct quote from it:
"You can’t just take an 8-ounce glass of cola and add a serving of Metamucil and create a health food,” Dr. Ludwig said. “Even though the fructose-to-fiber ratio might be the same as an apple, the biological effects would be much different.”0 -
@APeacefulWarrior I'm sorry to hear about your situation. If I was watching my husband do this to himself I would throw away the crap he brought in the house. Yes, I am controlling. But if my adult husband isn't going to act like an adult and be the PARTNER I married and stick to his promises I will make the decisions.
My husband wouldn't hesitate to tell me if it was the other way around. That's our dynamic. I didn't marry someone to watch them self destruct. Standing by and waiting until they "are ready to lose weight" would not be an option for me. Especially not someone who already had weight loss surgery once and had a serious disease like diabetes.
I watch those My 600lb life shows and there is always an enabler. I would not want to be that person. Ever.
I know you can't change anyone's behavior but your own. But that doesn't mean that someone else taking over all the food prep and grocery shopping won't work. That is at least changing your behavior. Only you can judge how he would respond to that and if it would be positive or negative. It would at least be a different response.
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Chrysalid2014 wrote: »kimondo666 wrote: »Try to persuade him if he has sweettooth that he eats raw fruit, and not zero nutrient refined sugar in sweets. Bananas are a whole lot better, or apples. Even dried fruits are much better.
i fail to see the correlation between a sweet tooth and eating raw foods…..
Er... raw fruit is sweet..(?)
and source of sugar does not matter...
I read something yesterday about why fruit sugar is "better" than added sugar in other carbohydrate-loaded foods. Apparently the digestion of sugar requires certain micronutrients that are also delivered in fresh fruit. However, if you eat (for example) a candy bar, it doesn't contain any of the vitamins required to digest it, so essentially by eating the candy bar you're dipping into (depleting) your reserve of micronutrients.
So, the logic that you can get your day's nutrition and then spend any 'leftover' calories on junk without detriment to your health is somewhat flawed...
Vitamins required for digestion? Depletion of micronutrients for digestion? More than an entirely negligible amount?
:huh:
Are you sure about that? I'm not entirely certain the flawed logic is on the pro-"no bonus points for excess nutrition" side.0 -
http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2013/07/31/making-the-case-for-eating-fruit/?_r=0
Here is an article discussing why it is better for your body to get sugar from whole fruit rather than added refined.
I stopped reading at Ludwig....
I will see your blog, and raise you with this one...
http://www.alanaragonblog.com/2010/01/29/the-bitter-truth-about-fructose-alarmism/
also, just because you get fiber from fruit does not make the sugar in fruit better. If I eat added sugar and take a multivitamin does it become good???
Clearly you stopped reading the article, as here is a direct quote from it:
"You can’t just take an 8-ounce glass of cola and add a serving of Metamucil and create a health food,” Dr. Ludwig said. “Even though the fructose-to-fiber ratio might be the same as an apple, the biological effects would be much different.”
Why?0 -
http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2013/07/31/making-the-case-for-eating-fruit/?_r=0
Here is an article discussing why it is better for your body to get sugar from whole fruit rather than added refined.
I stopped reading at Ludwig....
I will see your blog, and raise you with this one...
http://www.alanaragonblog.com/2010/01/29/the-bitter-truth-about-fructose-alarmism/
also, just because you get fiber from fruit does not make the sugar in fruit better. If I eat added sugar and take a multivitamin does it become good???
Clearly you stopped reading the article, as here is a direct quote from it:
"You can’t just take an 8-ounce glass of cola and add a serving of Metamucil and create a health food,” Dr. Ludwig said. “Even though the fructose-to-fiber ratio might be the same as an apple, the biological effects would be much different.”
why not? it has fiber in it, same as fruit...0 -
This content has been removed.
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APeacefulWarrior wrote: »Just a morning update - I'll be reading through all the responses through the day,.. all four packages of Oreos have been opened and at least 2 cookies are gone from each. The packages will be finished within a week, I'm guessing.
As for addictions - food can be just as deadly an addiction as drugs, if not more so because you can't give it up completely like drugs or alcohol.
Not our first discussion by far - in fact he has gone to drastic extremes (WLS) which failed because he believed his gastric band would fix everything with no effort on his part.
Age does make a difference - the body does not recover as well from stressors and is much more prone to serious effects. So, to those of you in your 20s and 30s - make changes now. It will be much harder to lose it later.
I'll be back after work - keep this discussion rolling...
Just so you know, if you didn't discover it already, you will find a bunch of people here who say that there is no such thing as food addiction. Pay them no mind.
A person who has no self-control over food has the same behavioral problems as someone who has no self-control over gambling. It's all about pleasure seeking without regard for the consequences.
I will echo what others have said that you can want for a loved one to change until you are blue in the face but until they want to change nothing will happen. I watched this with my parents and cigarettes. Finally the expense got too great and that motivated them to change their behavior.
To me, the biggest problem I have with such behavior is not what they are doing to themselves but what they would be doing to me. Diets require strong willpower. Putting tempting foods within reach require even more willpower on my part to not eat them. Bringing home boxes of cookies is just rubbing my nose in temptation. I don't need that sabotage.
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http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2013/07/31/making-the-case-for-eating-fruit/?_r=0
Here is an article discussing why it is better for your body to get sugar from whole fruit rather than added refined.
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Lorsmith44 wrote: »It is so hard when one person brings stuff into the house when the other is trying not to eat that stuff... I know how that is. I have a skinny hubby who thinks he can eat sweets and fats like they are going out of style. But cholesterol is not his friend, so we both should be watching what we eat.
Meh.... you're both adults, making your own choices. You do you, he does him.0 -
http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2013/07/31/making-the-case-for-eating-fruit/?_r=0
Here is an article discussing why it is better for your body to get sugar from whole fruit rather than added refined.
you do know that 'refined' sugar comes from sugar cane or sugar beets, etc, right? your body doesn't know the difference between that and what comes from peaches, apples, or what have you.0 -
OP, if your husband is diabetic and needs 3 meds but fails to follow a diet and exercise plan, which is 90% if not more of diabetes management, this is very much your concern. Because he is putting his life at risk, which does affect his family, and he is also taking a gamble with serious disabilities. My husband was for 10 years the primary caregivery of his mother, who suffered a serious stroke, and was left almost completely paralysed. As a direct result of unmanaged diabetes and blood pressure. It is not just his quality of life that is at stake.
So, if I were you, yes, I would be scheduling interventions, involving the entire family, throwing the food away, demanding he sees his dr, demanding he follows his dr's advice, demanding he meets up with a dietician.
Because I would rather fight with him and treat him like a child, than spend the rest of my life seeing him suffer with body or mind reduced to that of an infant. It is true, he is an adult and can make his own choices. However, unless he wishes to leave and forget he has family, he needs to respect that his choices affect his family. A diabetic not complying with lifestyle changes, is tempting fate. Unless he is mentally disabled, he knows this is putting his family under stress, so he cannot pretend it is his life his choice. It will be you changing his diapers, so you have a say.
that sounds like a recipe for disaster ….
Last time I checked he lives in a free country and if he wants to eat to the detriment of this health then that would be his choice, and not the food police.
Of course it is his choice. Same as it is his choice to become an alcoholic, or a drug addict. It is also the choice of his family to react. And while comparing oreos to drugs would be in general ridiculous, in this case, if things are as bad as the Op described, him becoming a drug addict might have been less scary for his family. I am assuming you have no personal experience with what a stroke can do to a patient. And his loved ones.
So eating Oreos and food in general is now the equivalent to drugs????
BRB. Buying syringes and foil to mainline the Oreos I bought last week.0 -
enterdanger wrote: »@APeacefulWarrior I'm sorry to hear about your situation. If I was watching my husband do this to himself I would throw away the crap he brought in the house. Yes, I am controlling. But if my adult husband isn't going to act like an adult and be the PARTNER I married and stick to his promises I will make the decisions.
My husband wouldn't hesitate to tell me if it was the other way around. That's our dynamic. I didn't marry someone to watch them self destruct. Standing by and waiting until they "are ready to lose weight" would not be an option for me. Especially not someone who already had weight loss surgery once and had a serious disease like diabetes.
I watch those My 600lb life shows and there is always an enabler. I would not want to be that person. Ever.
I know you can't change anyone's behavior but your own. But that doesn't mean that someone else taking over all the food prep and grocery shopping won't work. That is at least changing your behavior. Only you can judge how he would respond to that and if it would be positive or negative. It would at least be a different response.
Yeah, this leads to divorce. you're not his mother, or his jailor.0 -
http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2013/07/31/making-the-case-for-eating-fruit/?_r=0
Here is an article discussing why it is better for your body to get sugar from whole fruit rather than added refined.
I stopped reading at Ludwig....
I will see your blog, and raise you with this one...
http://www.alanaragonblog.com/2010/01/29/the-bitter-truth-about-fructose-alarmism/
also, just because you get fiber from fruit does not make the sugar in fruit better. If I eat added sugar and take a multivitamin does it become good???
Clearly you stopped reading the article, as here is a direct quote from it:
"You can’t just take an 8-ounce glass of cola and add a serving of Metamucil and create a health food,” Dr. Ludwig said. “Even though the fructose-to-fiber ratio might be the same as an apple, the biological effects would be much different.”
why not? it has fiber in it, same as fruit...
because your body breaks down the fruit, which combines the items together, differently than it does the items when they are separate. Here's an unrelated example for you - pour some oil in a glass. then pour some vinegar. Now pour the same amounts into a jar and emulsify them. Now return each example to its original state of separate oil and vinegar.
I'm not some whole foods person, and I eat plenty of refined sugar and carbs, but you have to be a little daft to not think that it is healthier to satisfy a sweet craving by eating a piece of whole fruit rather than an Oreo cookie.0 -
http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2013/07/31/making-the-case-for-eating-fruit/?_r=0
Here is an article discussing why it is better for your body to get sugar from whole fruit rather than added refined.
I stopped reading at Ludwig....
I will see your blog, and raise you with this one...
http://www.alanaragonblog.com/2010/01/29/the-bitter-truth-about-fructose-alarmism/
also, just because you get fiber from fruit does not make the sugar in fruit better. If I eat added sugar and take a multivitamin does it become good???
Clearly you stopped reading the article, as here is a direct quote from it:
"You can’t just take an 8-ounce glass of cola and add a serving of Metamucil and create a health food,” Dr. Ludwig said. “Even though the fructose-to-fiber ratio might be the same as an apple, the biological effects would be much different.”
Ah yes, that explains it all so clearly.0
This discussion has been closed.
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