Women do not fullfill me

lol i think you're on the wrong site ...

Start viewing them as human? That would be a start. It's not other people, it's you.

There is obviously something going on, or something that HAD gone on in your life to create what professionals call "a hole". You are trying to fill it by sleeping with girls. It will never be filled. It is your job to figure out your issue and fix it, dont expect a female to do that job for you.

Did your mom leave you at a young age? Did many females in your life pass away while you were growing up? Did you have a female steal from you? Do you hate females? Dont respond - just think about something that could trigger a reaction in regards to your current feeling towards females. Maybe your a sex addict? Get bored easily?

dakotababy wrote: »

There is obviously something going on, or something that HAD gone on in your life to create what professionals call "a hole". You are trying to fill it by sleeping with girls. It will never be filled. It is your job to figure out your issue and fix it, dont expect a female to do that job for you.

Did your mom leave you at a young age? Did many females in your life pass away while you were growing up? Did you have a female steal from you? Do you hate females? Dont respond - just think about something that could trigger a reaction in regards to your current feeling towards females. Maybe your a sex addict? Get bored easily?

I agree! ^^

dakotababy wrote: »

There is obviously something going on, or something that HAD gone on in your life to create what professionals call "a hole". You are trying to fill it by sleeping with girls. It will never be filled. It is your job to figure out your issue and fix it, dont expect a female to do that job for you.

Did your mom leave you at a young age? Did many females in your life pass away while you were growing up? Did you have a female steal from you? Do you hate females? Dont respond - just think about something that could trigger a reaction in regards to your current feeling towards females. Maybe your a sex addict? Get bored easily?

Excellent advice.

What has happened in your life to make you view women this way? I agree with the poster above, something probably happened in your life. Was a female in your life abusive to you, was your mom around during your life? I'm glad you realize that your mindset needs to be fixed. Females are more than just objects to be used and thrown out in a matter of speaking. They aren't prizes for your dopamine fix.

I honestly would recommend seeking a therapist or psychologist. Someone who can help you get to the root of your problems and can help you figure out yourself. I don't think anyone here on mfp can honestly help you in the way you heed.

Wouldn't hurt to talk to a therapist.

you sound like a normal 19 year old

I think you have felt neglected, unloved, and unappreciated by your mother throughout your life. You have not learned respect and appreciation for women because of how she treated you and you have a lot of bottled up anger inside of you. I am sure theres more to you than what you would post on an online website. You probably subconsciously seek something from all these females that your mother was never able to fill. Frued was right in so many ways. I don't mean to make all these assumptions and am not saying they are all true - just a personal opinion. I would definitely recommend therapy. Theres nothing embarrassing or shameful about it.

Allow me to give you a non-judgemental honest answer: What you are experiencing, I have seen in several young men. The root cause, I've found, is an over-exposure to pornography and particularly starting at a young age. I'm not saying this is your situation, but what this tends to do is to instruct young men that the act of sex is a conquest, that a man needs to dominate, that a woman must be submissive - things furthest from the truth. It turns sex into a series of positions, badly dubbed "moan" tracks, and increasingly degrading situations since it desensitizes you to the act of sex (I had friends in College who were so desensitized to your "standard" porn, that they only got off watching porn with little people or the morbidly obese). Here is the truth; sex outside of love is really nothing more than you two "mutually masturbating". If you are only really thinking about yourself and your own needs (or trying to prove something to yourself), you are really only having sex with yourself. Surely, there is another living, breathing person with you, but when the focus is inward, that person might as well be a fleshlight with a heartbeat. To my mind, it doesn't matter how many people you have slept with - if it hasn't been with a person who you have loved ceaselessly, who you would do anything for, then you are still a virgin in my eyes.

To solve your problem is going to require a radical paradigm shift. You are going to have to decide to stop "mutually masturbating" and find a person that fulfills you in other ways and maybe even wait for sex until you can utter the "L" word. It could be that you have self-esteem issues that you need to work out, and therefore are only going for the "low-hanging fruit" that doesn't appeal to you, but doesn't require you to be vulnerable either. If this is the case, I'd suggest going without for a while - because you are inevitably going to have to have the conversation with the woman you will want to spend the rest of your life with about your sexual exploits. In my experience, sex with other people within the confines of a loving relationship will be often understood and overlooked in a future mate, but a male slut (to use a vulgarity) is just as appealing as his female counterpart.

Best advice (tl;dr): Date your hand until you are ready to give yourself to another person who challenges you emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. Whether you are mature enough for that kind of relationship yet, only you can tell. Also, talking out these issues with a trained professional will help you organize your thoughts and help you get to the root of your issue. I wish you all the luck!

Pu_239 wrote: »

The issue is you're not fulfilled with yourself, you're looking for external factors to bring that fulfillment, as you realized it's only temporary. You're looking for a form of validation, which is only temporary once you score. As I said, look for fulfillment within yourself.

This. And women are people. Start viewing them as people, not objects of fulfillment.

If it walks like a duck and talks like a duck, most likely....it's a duck! Give sausage a try bud, see if that "fulFILLS" ya or nah....smdh

jimfoxer wrote: »

Allow me to give you a non-judgemental honest answer: What you are experiencing, I have seen in several young men. The root cause, I've found, is an over-exposure to pornography and particularly starting at a young age. I'm not saying this is your situation, but what this tends to do is to instruct young men that the act of sex is a conquest, that a man needs to dominate, that a woman must be submissive - things furthest from the truth. It turns sex into a series of positions, badly dubbed "moan" tracks, and increasingly degrading situations since it desensitizes you to the act of sex (I had friends in College who were so desensitized to your "standard" porn, that they only got off watching porn with little people or the morbidly obese). Here is the truth; sex outside of love is really nothing more than you two "mutually masturbating". If you are only really thinking about yourself and your own needs (or trying to prove something to yourself), you are really only having sex with yourself. Surely, there is another living, breathing person with you, but when the focus is inward, that person might as well be a fleshlight with a heartbeat. To my mind, it doesn't matter how many people you have slept with - if it hasn't been with a person who you have loved ceaselessly, who you would do anything for, then you are still a virgin in my eyes.

To solve your problem is going to require a radical paradigm shift. You are going to have to decide to stop "mutually masturbating" and find a person that fulfills you in other ways and maybe even wait for sex until you can utter the "L" word. It could be that you have self-esteem issues that you need to work out, and therefore are only going for the "low-hanging fruit" that doesn't appeal to you, but doesn't require you to be vulnerable either. If this is the case, I'd suggest going without for a while - because you are inevitably going to have to have the conversation with the woman you will want to spend the rest of your life with about your sexual exploits. In my experience, sex with other people within the confines of a loving relationship will be often understood and overlooked in a future mate, but a male slut (to use a vulgarity) is just as appealing as his female counterpart.

Best advice (tl;dr): Date your hand until you are ready to give yourself to another person who challenges you emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. Whether you are mature enough for that kind of relationship yet, only you can tell. Also, talking out these issues with a trained professional will help you organize your thoughts and help you get to the root of your issue. I wish you all the luck!

OP---I would listen to this guy. As an "older" woman, I find his answer right on. You already know what you're doing is not right. For a future loving relationship you should try to solve this situation. Any relationship brings baggage along with it, and if it's not dealt with will ruin it's future. When you do finally commit to the right person you want to be ready. Best of luck to you.