Women do not fullfill me
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I think you have felt neglected, unloved, and unappreciated by your mother throughout your life. You have not learned respect and appreciation for women because of how she treated you and you have a lot of bottled up anger inside of you. I am sure theres more to you than what you would post on an online website. You probably subconsciously seek something from all these females that your mother was never able to fill. Frued was right in so many ways. I don't mean to make all these assumptions and am not saying they are all true - just a personal opinion. I would definitely recommend therapy. Theres nothing embarrassing or shameful about it.0
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I dont think mpf provides therapy, but anyhow.... how would you say your self esteem is?
and aim for women you like because you like them, be yourself and see where it goes, but maybe wait for the whole getting laid bit if youre looking for something more serious and thats an issue you have.0 -
Allow me to give you a non-judgemental honest answer: What you are experiencing, I have seen in several young men. The root cause, I've found, is an over-exposure to pornography and particularly starting at a young age. I'm not saying this is your situation, but what this tends to do is to instruct young men that the act of sex is a conquest, that a man needs to dominate, that a woman must be submissive - things furthest from the truth. It turns sex into a series of positions, badly dubbed "moan" tracks, and increasingly degrading situations since it desensitizes you to the act of sex (I had friends in College who were so desensitized to your "standard" porn, that they only got off watching porn with little people or the morbidly obese). Here is the truth; sex outside of love is really nothing more than you two "mutually masturbating". If you are only really thinking about yourself and your own needs (or trying to prove something to yourself), you are really only having sex with yourself. Surely, there is another living, breathing person with you, but when the focus is inward, that person might as well be a fleshlight with a heartbeat. To my mind, it doesn't matter how many people you have slept with - if it hasn't been with a person who you have loved ceaselessly, who you would do anything for, then you are still a virgin in my eyes.
To solve your problem is going to require a radical paradigm shift. You are going to have to decide to stop "mutually masturbating" and find a person that fulfills you in other ways and maybe even wait for sex until you can utter the "L" word. It could be that you have self-esteem issues that you need to work out, and therefore are only going for the "low-hanging fruit" that doesn't appeal to you, but doesn't require you to be vulnerable either. If this is the case, I'd suggest going without for a while - because you are inevitably going to have to have the conversation with the woman you will want to spend the rest of your life with about your sexual exploits. In my experience, sex with other people within the confines of a loving relationship will be often understood and overlooked in a future mate, but a male slut (to use a vulgarity) is just as appealing as his female counterpart.
Best advice (tl;dr): Date your hand until you are ready to give yourself to another person who challenges you emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. Whether you are mature enough for that kind of relationship yet, only you can tell. Also, talking out these issues with a trained professional will help you organize your thoughts and help you get to the root of your issue. I wish you all the luck!0 -
Just curious, do you see yourself in this scenario?
http://tinybuddha.com/blog/why-the-grass-is-never-greener-and-how-to-be-happy-today/0 -
The issue is you're not fulfilled with yourself, you're looking for external factors to bring that fulfillment, as you realized it's only temporary. You're looking for a form of validation, which is only temporary once you score. As I said, look for fulfillment within yourself.
This. And women are people. Start viewing them as people, not objects of fulfillment.0 -
Why ? Nothing else , just why is anyone giving this attention seeking narcissist any time.0
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If it walks like a duck and talks like a duck, most likely....it's a duck! Give sausage a try bud, see if that "fulFILLS" ya or nah....smdh0
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Allow me to give you a non-judgemental honest answer: What you are experiencing, I have seen in several young men. The root cause, I've found, is an over-exposure to pornography and particularly starting at a young age. I'm not saying this is your situation, but what this tends to do is to instruct young men that the act of sex is a conquest, that a man needs to dominate, that a woman must be submissive - things furthest from the truth. It turns sex into a series of positions, badly dubbed "moan" tracks, and increasingly degrading situations since it desensitizes you to the act of sex (I had friends in College who were so desensitized to your "standard" porn, that they only got off watching porn with little people or the morbidly obese). Here is the truth; sex outside of love is really nothing more than you two "mutually masturbating". If you are only really thinking about yourself and your own needs (or trying to prove something to yourself), you are really only having sex with yourself. Surely, there is another living, breathing person with you, but when the focus is inward, that person might as well be a fleshlight with a heartbeat. To my mind, it doesn't matter how many people you have slept with - if it hasn't been with a person who you have loved ceaselessly, who you would do anything for, then you are still a virgin in my eyes.
To solve your problem is going to require a radical paradigm shift. You are going to have to decide to stop "mutually masturbating" and find a person that fulfills you in other ways and maybe even wait for sex until you can utter the "L" word. It could be that you have self-esteem issues that you need to work out, and therefore are only going for the "low-hanging fruit" that doesn't appeal to you, but doesn't require you to be vulnerable either. If this is the case, I'd suggest going without for a while - because you are inevitably going to have to have the conversation with the woman you will want to spend the rest of your life with about your sexual exploits. In my experience, sex with other people within the confines of a loving relationship will be often understood and overlooked in a future mate, but a male slut (to use a vulgarity) is just as appealing as his female counterpart.
Best advice (tl;dr): Date your hand until you are ready to give yourself to another person who challenges you emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. Whether you are mature enough for that kind of relationship yet, only you can tell. Also, talking out these issues with a trained professional will help you organize your thoughts and help you get to the root of your issue. I wish you all the luck!
OP---I would listen to this guy. As an "older" woman, I find his answer right on. You already know what you're doing is not right. For a future loving relationship you should try to solve this situation. Any relationship brings baggage along with it, and if it's not dealt with will ruin it's future. When you do finally commit to the right person you want to be ready. Best of luck to you.
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Allow me to give you a non-judgemental honest answer: What you are experiencing, I have seen in several young men. The root cause, I've found, is an over-exposure to pornography and particularly starting at a young age. I'm not saying this is your situation, but what this tends to do is to instruct young men that the act of sex is a conquest, that a man needs to dominate, that a woman must be submissive - things furthest from the truth. It turns sex into a series of positions, badly dubbed "moan" tracks, and increasingly degrading situations since it desensitizes you to the act of sex (I had friends in College who were so desensitized to your "standard" porn, that they only got off watching porn with little people or the morbidly obese). Here is the truth; sex outside of love is really nothing more than you two "mutually masturbating". If you are only really thinking about yourself and your own needs (or trying to prove something to yourself), you are really only having sex with yourself. Surely, there is another living, breathing person with you, but when the focus is inward, that person might as well be a fleshlight with a heartbeat. To my mind, it doesn't matter how many people you have slept with - if it hasn't been with a person who you have loved ceaselessly, who you would do anything for, then you are still a virgin in my eyes.
To solve your problem is going to require a radical paradigm shift. You are going to have to decide to stop "mutually masturbating" and find a person that fulfills you in other ways and maybe even wait for sex until you can utter the "L" word. It could be that you have self-esteem issues that you need to work out, and therefore are only going for the "low-hanging fruit" that doesn't appeal to you, but doesn't require you to be vulnerable either. If this is the case, I'd suggest going without for a while - because you are inevitably going to have to have the conversation with the woman you will want to spend the rest of your life with about your sexual exploits. In my experience, sex with other people within the confines of a loving relationship will be often understood and overlooked in a future mate, but a male slut (to use a vulgarity) is just as appealing as his female counterpart.
Best advice (tl;dr): Date your hand until you are ready to give yourself to another person who challenges you emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. Whether you are mature enough for that kind of relationship yet, only you can tell. Also, talking out these issues with a trained professional will help you organize your thoughts and help you get to the root of your issue. I wish you all the luck!
Wow! Very great advice!!0 -
I really feel sorry for the women next on your list... regardless if you say you don't mean to hurt people (women in general) you are and you know you have a problem... you aired your dirty laundry about how you treat women on a public internet forum asking complete strangers for advice...
Seriouslly????????
Dude get a life and seek some d*amn help.
I suspect trolling at best.
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You want to be fullfilled then eat a snickers bar. You have a lot to learn about women and how to treat them.0
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sweetandsassyred wrote: »You want to be fullfilled then eat a snickers bar. You have a lot to learn about women and how to treat them.
lol, pretty much. This guy is an idiot and a bad troll.....0 -
Allow me to give you a non-judgemental honest answer: What you are experiencing, I have seen in several young men. The root cause, I've found, is an over-exposure to pornography and particularly starting at a young age. I'm not saying this is your situation, but what this tends to do is to instruct young men that the act of sex is a conquest, that a man needs to dominate, that a woman must be submissive - things furthest from the truth. It turns sex into a series of positions, badly dubbed "moan" tracks, and increasingly degrading situations since it desensitizes you to the act of sex (I had friends in College who were so desensitized to your "standard" porn, that they only got off watching porn with little people or the morbidly obese). Here is the truth; sex outside of love is really nothing more than you two "mutually masturbating". If you are only really thinking about yourself and your own needs (or trying to prove something to yourself), you are really only having sex with yourself. Surely, there is another living, breathing person with you, but when the focus is inward, that person might as well be a fleshlight with a heartbeat. To my mind, it doesn't matter how many people you have slept with - if it hasn't been with a person who you have loved ceaselessly, who you would do anything for, then you are still a virgin in my eyes.
To solve your problem is going to require a radical paradigm shift. You are going to have to decide to stop "mutually masturbating" and find a person that fulfills you in other ways and maybe even wait for sex until you can utter the "L" word. It could be that you have self-esteem issues that you need to work out, and therefore are only going for the "low-hanging fruit" that doesn't appeal to you, but doesn't require you to be vulnerable either. If this is the case, I'd suggest going without for a while - because you are inevitably going to have to have the conversation with the woman you will want to spend the rest of your life with about your sexual exploits. In my experience, sex with other people within the confines of a loving relationship will be often understood and overlooked in a future mate, but a male slut (to use a vulgarity) is just as appealing as his female counterpart.
Best advice (tl;dr): Date your hand until you are ready to give yourself to another person who challenges you emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. Whether you are mature enough for that kind of relationship yet, only you can tell. Also, talking out these issues with a trained professional will help you organize your thoughts and help you get to the root of your issue. I wish you all the luck!
This explains way better than any of my words could say.
I've read about it before and recognize it in some of my male friends.
Being relatively young however, this behaviour seems to be believed to be the norm, at least in my country/city/region, by both women and men. Anyone thinking differently would often be confronted about it, in a negative way, because "surely the reason is rather because of his/her inadequate looks/performance/and-the-such.
That is until they grow up and realize how 'wrong' they've been.
This guy sounds like a wise man, I'd follow his suggestion.
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Obvious troll is obvious.0
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I think you need to work on developing respect for women
Spend some time with women, without looking to sleep with them. Recognise their value, and you'll respect them as people.0 -
Therapy. Lots of therapy.0
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Before people start calling me gay let me tell you that I'm definitely not. Embrace it. Don't fight it.
I base my happiness on achievement and getting with girls releases dopamine but I reckon that even if I got with over 100 girls I still wouldn't be satisfied and want more. <<<Clear sign that you should try guys
How do I change my way of thinking? Just remember: It's okay to be gay.
I am 6'4, 200lbs and my face is maybe a 6/10 on a good day, what type of women should I be aiming for if I decide to look for something more fulfilling such as a relationship? The kind with dingalings. They're called "men" for short.
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_incogNEATo_ wrote: »Before people start calling me gay let me tell you that I'm definitely not. Embrace it. Don't fight it.
I base my happiness on achievement and getting with girls releases dopamine but I reckon that even if I got with over 100 girls I still wouldn't be satisfied and want more. <<<Clear sign that you should try guys
How do I change my way of thinking? Just remember: It's okay to be gay.
I am 6'4, 200lbs and my face is maybe a 6/10 on a good day, what type of women should I be aiming for if I decide to look for something more fulfilling such as a relationship? The kind with dingalings. They're called "men" for short.
Just had to say thanks I am now lmao. I really needed that too _incogNEATo_0
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lN-4lX0QyZc
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