Why is this ok?

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sk1nnyf0rm3
sk1nnyf0rm3 Posts: 110 Member
in Motivation and Support
I'm 5'4 and just over 100 lbs. I know that's light for my height (people say I look like I'm 80-90 lbs though because a lot of my weight comes from muscle with horseback riding and I wear baggy clothes). But here's the issue:
People always are commenting on my weight, my size, what I eat, etc. Yes, I eat like crap often (cookies, brownies, carbs in general etc.) around people. And, yea, it seems like I can eat whatever I want and not gain weight. But they don't see how active I am. Also, people always are saying things like 'you could gain a few lbs'/'you should gain muscle'/'you're so skinny'/'you shouldn't have a problem with fitting through x, your so thin'/'if there was an accident she'd fly through the windshield, she's like 90 lbs'/'you're so thin and all you eat is junk food.' just to name a few.

It really bothers me that society has decided that these comments are ok because I'm not overweight. If someone ever said 'you're so fat'/'you should increase muscle'/'you could lose a few lbs'/'oh you probably can't fit there, you're so big'/'all you eat is junk, no wonder you're so fat.' people would be severely offended and shocked that someone would say that. But it's somehow ok because I'm thin instead of overweight.

Can anyone give me any light into this? With certain people (they're overweight themselves) I feel like I should just start being like 'oh, yea, I'm sure I could fit through x since I'm so small, too bad you can't because you're so fat' just to try them to understand that it's not ok...
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Replies

  • arditarose
    arditarose Posts: 15,573 Member
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    It's not okay. But you are also at a low weight for your height and it seems like there are some issues you might have to deal with. But you're right, I don't really think it's okay for anyone to say things like that to someone about their size/weight.
  • Dnarules
    Dnarules Posts: 2,081 Member
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    Your username and profile pic are worrisome. Weight shaming on either end is not ok.
  • bunsen_honeydew
    bunsen_honeydew Posts: 230 Member
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    It is not ok, it two wrongs don't make a right. Tell them to stop commenting on your body since it is none of their business.

    maybe those overweight people comment on your body because other people are always commenting on theirs. It doesn't make it ok, but you should know that people make rude comments to fat people all the time, and many people think that is perfectly ok to be rude like that.
  • Sabine_Stroehm
    Sabine_Stroehm Posts: 19,263 Member
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    How old are you?
  • 999tigger
    999tigger Posts: 5,235 Member
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    Ar 100lbs you are still underweight based on your BMI. Is it ok, not really, depends who it is. I can understand friends and family commenting becayse they are showing concern. Strangers? Depends you are naive to think they wont because thats just people. If it makes you feel better then go and insult a few people, although I think your logic is supsect.
  • seska422
    seska422 Posts: 3,217 Member
    edited May 2015
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    sk1nnyf0rm3 wrote: »
    It really bothers me that society has decided that these comments are ok because I'm not overweight. If someone ever said 'you're so fat'/'you should increase muscle'/'you could lose a few lbs'/'oh you probably can't fit there, you're so big'/'all you eat is junk, no wonder you're so fat.' people would be severely offended and shocked that someone would say that. But it's somehow ok because I'm thin instead of overweight.
    Actually, people are more than happy to criticize overweight people. Society is very critical of the overweight (and not afraid to voice that criticism) but you may not be as aware of it because it doesn't fit your situation.

    Everyone wants to voice their opinion even when it's none of their business.
  • mccindy72
    mccindy72 Posts: 7,001 Member
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    Body shaming is never okay. It happens both ways.
  • sk1nnyf0rm3
    sk1nnyf0rm3 Posts: 110 Member
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    Sabine_Stroehm wrote: »
    How old are you?

    I'm an adult
  • tuckerrj
    tuckerrj Posts: 1,453 Member
    edited May 2015
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    With 69% of Americans overweight (http://www.cdc.gov/nchs/fastats/obesity-overweight.htm), we tend to be defensive about our appearance. Guess they figure the best defense is an aggressive offense (famous football saying). If you're healthy and aren't harboring an eating disorder, just ignore it.
  • My_Butt
    My_Butt Posts: 2,300 Member
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    My mom constantly tells me I'm getting bony. But, I know that I'm eating nearly 2,000 calories everyday, and working out to tone up. So I just ignore the comments because I'm being healthy for only me.
  • ForeverSunshine09
    ForeverSunshine09 Posts: 966 Member
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    Well the smallest you should be at 5'4 is 108 to be healthy. So you aren't healthy but, that is no one's problem but, yours.
  • sk1nnyf0rm3
    sk1nnyf0rm3 Posts: 110 Member
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    ForeverSunshine09 wrote: »
    Well the smallest you should be at 5'4 is 108 to be healthy. So you aren't healthy but, that is no one's problem but, yours.

    That's not even what my question was about. WTF
  • arditarose
    arditarose Posts: 15,573 Member
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    sk1nnyf0rm3 wrote: »
    ForeverSunshine09 wrote: »
    Well the smallest you should be at 5'4 is 108 to be healthy. So you aren't healthy but, that is no one's problem but, yours.

    That's not even what my question was about. WTF

    whoa
  • lishie_rebooted
    lishie_rebooted Posts: 2,973 Member
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    sk1nnyf0rm3 wrote: »
    ForeverSunshine09 wrote: »
    Well the smallest you should be at 5'4 is 108 to be healthy. So you aren't healthy but, that is no one's problem but, yours.

    That's not even what my question was about. WTF
    Calling bluff on being an adult
  • Alatariel75
    Alatariel75 Posts: 17,959 Member
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    I used to have a flatmate about your size, she had a thyroid issue and struggled toachieve/maintain a healthy weight. She used to say the same thing.
  • My_Butt
    My_Butt Posts: 2,300 Member
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    To be that small, you're probably not eating enough. Even though you're eating junk, it's probably not enough to put on weight. My roommate eats snack cakes, ice cream, donuts, cookies, etc throughout the day, but I noticed he doesn't eat enough food. He's very thin too.
  • ForeverSunshine09
    ForeverSunshine09 Posts: 966 Member
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    sk1nnyf0rm3 wrote: »
    ForeverSunshine09 wrote: »
    Well the smallest you should be at 5'4 is 108 to be healthy. So you aren't healthy but, that is no one's problem but, yours.

    That's not even what my question was about. WTF

    Quite frankly, I don't care what your question was. I was underweight for a number yrs due to my kidney disease going undiagnosed. If you are an adult you sure don't know how to act like one. I was not being rude at first just stating facts which you obviously didn't like.
  • sk1nnyf0rm3
    sk1nnyf0rm3 Posts: 110 Member
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    lishie_rebooted wrote: »
    sk1nnyf0rm3 wrote: »
    ForeverSunshine09 wrote: »
    Well the smallest you should be at 5'4 is 108 to be healthy. So you aren't healthy but, that is no one's problem but, yours.

    That's not even what my question was about. WTF
    Calling bluff on being an adult

    I'm actually 19 for your information
  • sk1nnyf0rm3
    sk1nnyf0rm3 Posts: 110 Member
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    My_Butt wrote: »
    To be that small, you're probably not eating enough. Even though you're eating junk, it's probably not enough to put on weight. My roommate eats snack cakes, ice cream, donuts, cookies, etc throughout the day, but I noticed he doesn't eat enough food. He's very thin too.

    That's possible with me for sure some days...thanks for pointing it out
  • sk1nnyf0rm3
    sk1nnyf0rm3 Posts: 110 Member
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    ForeverSunshine09 wrote: »
    sk1nnyf0rm3 wrote: »
    ForeverSunshine09 wrote: »
    Well the smallest you should be at 5'4 is 108 to be healthy. So you aren't healthy but, that is no one's problem but, yours.

    That's not even what my question was about. WTF

    Quite frankly, I don't care what your question was. I was underweight for a number yrs due to my kidney disease going undiagnosed. If you are an adult you sure don't know how to act like one. I was not being rude at first just stating facts which you obviously didn't like.

    My weight is a very big button and people have always said things, like your first comment, in ways were it's snobby and rude.

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