Anyone else experience negativity due to weight loss?

kygirl8282 wrote: »

bmaw01 wrote: »

Jim Rohn used to say "You are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with."

I really love that quote! I wish I had known about mfp at the beginning of my decision to get healthy rather than now. I dare not use the word easy, but the experience would have been so much better with support. Once again, I've taken the time to read every comment, and I'm sorry to read the hurt and frustration there. Thanks for all of the advice and taking the time to comment.

RossAH wrote: »

I have witnessed and experienced this a few times. It's slightly different for me because I am male, but my wife lost over 100 pounds and has experienced this very thing with her "friends" and colleagues. She has a male friend that she has been close with for years. Once her weight loss finally plateaued, his wife forbid him even speaking to her. To put it bluntly, my wife asked "why was it okay for us to be friends 100 pounds ago, but not now?" Because his wife didn't feel "threatened" by her 100+ pounds ago.

I hate making generalizations, but I think that generally speaking, it stems from jealously and insecurity. As a male, it's easier for me to "play it off" when co-workers start with the "how much more weight do you plan on losing?" comments. Even my wife, that feels she needs to lose another 50 pounds, will sometimes ask. I've been too unhappy with myself for far too long to undermine what I have accomplished, and what I hope to accomplish, in order to make other people feel better about themselves. It's faster and easier to beat others down than it is to work hard a sacrifice in order to build ourselves up.

There's "fat shaming," and there's "fit shaming." If someone were to make fun of a person that were overweight, the world would come to the overweight person's rescue. If someone makes fun of a person by calling them a "skinny b****," the world tells the "skinny b****" that she needs to "calm down," "get a sense of humor," and "not take things so personally." It's a double standard, but it definitely exists. If you complain about it, as a "skinny b****," the world will tell you that you need to "stop being so sensitive" and just "take it on the chin." Only you know your situation, but perhaps trying to defuse it and quickly move on will work. I usually ignore the question when asked "how much more weight do you plan on losing?" I know my colleagues like the show "the walking dead," and I can almost guarantee that my weight will be brought up by one employee in particular. Especially during pot lucks. She usually yells it across the room, which I always think is a nice touch, because everyone kinda stops what their doing and waits for my answer. When she asks "How much more weight do you plan on losing?" I quickly answer:

"Have they killed off Daryl on the walking dead yet? I stopped watching during season 2 because I just couldn't stand it any more."

That used to switch the conversation to the topic of tv shows. Unfortunately, she has begun redirecting the conversation back to my weight, refusing to let it go. I don't know what her agenda is, but she clearly has one. "Avoid and/or redirect." And hopefully they get the hint that it's something you don't want to discuss. When this co-worker of mine persists, I simply answer "we'll see where it goes," and move on.

Good Luck.