Informal Poll: Mean People

cwolfman13 wrote: »

SLLRunner wrote: »

cwolfman13 wrote: »

at no point...

given the number of times I've read through threads like this, I've largely deduced that this is a female thing...

CW, I think you could be on to something.

I was an obese kid and my dad, brothers, and those outside of home used to make comments all the time. As a young adult, people were pretty mean about my weight too. Now that I've lost to goal, I get comments that I'm too thin, which isn't true (5 ft 5 and 139/140 lbs).

However, not once did my ex husband any boyfriend, or my current man, ever say anything mean about my weight.

chicks are mean...srsly...95% of the personnel problems I have to deal with at the office are females fighting with each other or unhappy because so and so said such and such and, "I'm not talkin' to that *kitten* any more" kind of *kitten*.

the dudes are just sitting around like WTF just happened here?

Friend of mine says..."it's a good thing that men don't understand women because women understand women and they don't like each other .....

barbecuesauce wrote: »

>Overweight

I hear *all the time*, "You're not overweight. You don't have any weight to lose at all!"

*kitten*, I'm borderline obese. Grrr.

I have been thin most of my life and have only gained the extra 15kgs I am carrying at the moment in the last 3 years. I used to be in a crowd where two of the women were very insecure and despised me for being thin when they were overweight. They didn't want to know me as a person and I had to try really hard with them - nothing worked, they would glare daggers at me and make mean comments ("someone wants to be looked at", "imagine always needing to be the center of attention") regardless of whether I wore a mini or baggy jeans. They would cling to their husbands as if I was a succubus and spread stories about how I was a tart. It was ridiculous.

When I gained the weight I am currently carrying they could not have been more gleeful. At one function, the one actually called the other to come and look and pointed at me! (they had not seen me in a while). I was then cornered later and told that "yeah, age catches up with us all hey?")

I must be honest, a part of what drives me forward is the sullen chicken bum faces they will have when I reveal my slim again bod at the end of this year, when the last time they have seen me is at my current weight.

The idea that my success bugs them actually delights and motivates me. For those who have experienced similar mean things? My suggestion? Let it fuel you.

When I was obese, my mother started talking about how scared she was for me due to health even though I was fully capable of carrying on my normal day-to-day and had no apparent difficulties with health. She had gastric bypass with major complications and was only about 90lbs at this point. Ugh.

Currently I get 'the amazing shrinking woman' comments. :P

rabbitjb wrote: »

cwolfman13 wrote: »

Wiseandcurious wrote: »

cwolfman13 wrote: »

at no point...

given the number of times I've read through threads like this, I've largely deduced that this is a female thing...

Don't think so, I'm female and it never happened to me at any weight in my life. Never a mean comment from anyone. Either I'm lucky or I never notice it.

what I meant was, if you look at these threads...and there a gazillions of them...most are started by women and the vast majority of respondents are women. It seems to me that women are pretty brutal to other women...that's all I was saying.

guys on the other hand don't tend to comment on each others weight and what not...you might get your *kitten* kicked if you did.

I'm brutal to everyone

Especially Hugh Jackman.

I've got a reputation for having a sharp tongue,a vicious temper, and not giving a rat's what anyone thinks. So after one attempt to comment on being overweight when I was 14, ie my response to being called fat was "At least the weight and puberty gave me something the puberty fairy obviously missed you," no one has been brave enough to try again.

I don't get a lot of commentary one way or the other, and my theory is that it's either my epic resting *kitten* face demonstrates in advance what they can do with their opinion, or my fantastic posture makes me look imposing and confident enough that my body isn't what they're noticing about me.

Growing up, my mother corrected my POSTURE, and not my weight. My Dad complimented me for being clever, not attractive. It is entirely possible that these comments are made near me and I just don't notice.... But my daughter, who is 5, has informed me that she needs to work out with me so that she doesn't get fat. And also that she needs to be a vegetarian for the same reason. I struggle not to strangle my mother-in-law whose voice I hear coming out of my child's face.

JPW1990 wrote: »

I've heard both sides of it, usually from classmates or "well-meaning" co-workers. When I was morbidly obese, had already lost 100 lbs, and was still getting "why don't you take care of yourself" (usually not phrased nearly that politely) bs from people who didn't know jack about anything I had already done. And nothing boosts your self-esteem like some asshat yelling "fat *kitten*" out a car window when you're walking down the sidewalk 10 sizes smaller than you were the year before.

When I was first at my normal weight, comments asking if I was sick or if I had talked to the doctor about something being wrong. Those got better once I'd been at maintenance for a while, and people adjusted their mental image to the current one.

I'm sorry you went through that. Something similar happened to one of my friends after she'd lost over 100#. She was eating at a fast food place and a stranger angrily and loudly started calling her names and degrading her for being obese. When she defended herself and started yelling back, the restaurant threatened to call the police on HER and kicked HER out! This jerk (who wasn't thin himself, I might add) was left to eat in peace.

I don't know what makes people so hateful. I don't know why a stranger's weight made that dimwit so angry that day. I don't know why the restaurant didn't stop him. One thing I do know, is that this moron did not expect her to defend herself, and that makes it even sadder.

Moral of the story: You don't know. You don't know anyone's story. Imposing your morals on someone else's life is ludicrous.