Informal Poll: Mean People

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Replies

  • cwolfman13
    cwolfman13 Posts: 41,876 Member
    edited June 2015
    cwolfman13 wrote: »
    cwolfman13 wrote: »
    at no point...

    given the number of times I've read through threads like this, I've largely deduced that this is a female thing...

    Don't think so, I'm female and it never happened to me at any weight in my life. Never a mean comment from anyone. Either I'm lucky or I never notice it.

    what I meant was, if you look at these threads...and there a gazillions of them...most are started by women and the vast majority of respondents are women. It seems to me that women are pretty brutal to other women...that's all I was saying.

    guys on the other hand don't tend to comment on each others weight and what not...you might get your *kitten* kicked if you did.

    My father has made more comments about my body than anyone else--in fact, in my OP, I bring that up first. I also had a boyfriend make ugly comments about my body when I was a skinny mini. What guys do among themselves, I don't know (although there have been a couple of comments in this thread, even on this page, about men making comments to other men). I'm sure there is empirical evidence that women make more comments to other women about their bodies-but to suggest that it's only a female-on-female issue erases a lot of the replies in this thread.

    once again...i never claimed this was only a woman thing...only that it seems to be largely an issue that women deal with. yes, there are men who have to deal with it...but if you go through the gazillions of these threads you will find the vast majority of people who've had negatively thrown there way in RE to their weightloss to indeed be of the female persuasion....and very often, it is other females being *kitten*.

    i never said that it never happens to guys...i never said that guys never comment on women...I'm not speaking in any absolutes...I said "largely" in my first post...I said "most" above. I'm not trying be "mean" or anything...I'm just pointing it out, namely because I find it somewhat interesting.

    I personally find it interesting...generally speaking, guys get a lot less comments on their weight, etc than women...ergo, these seems largely like a female thing to me...how are you not comprehending what I'm saying here? do you not observe the same?





  • barbecuesauce
    barbecuesauce Posts: 1,779 Member
    cwolfman13 wrote: »
    cwolfman13 wrote: »
    cwolfman13 wrote: »
    at no point...

    given the number of times I've read through threads like this, I've largely deduced that this is a female thing...

    Don't think so, I'm female and it never happened to me at any weight in my life. Never a mean comment from anyone. Either I'm lucky or I never notice it.

    what I meant was, if you look at these threads...and there a gazillions of them...most are started by women and the vast majority of respondents are women. It seems to me that women are pretty brutal to other women...that's all I was saying.

    guys on the other hand don't tend to comment on each others weight and what not...you might get your *kitten* kicked if you did.

    My father has made more comments about my body than anyone else--in fact, in my OP, I bring that up first. I also had a boyfriend make ugly comments about my body when I was a skinny mini. What guys do among themselves, I don't know (although there have been a couple of comments in this thread, even on this page, about men making comments to other men). I'm sure there is empirical evidence that women make more comments to other women about their bodies-but to suggest that it's only a female-on-female issue erases a lot of the replies in this thread.

    once again...i never claimed this was only a woman thing...only that it seems to be largely an issue that women deal with. yes, there are men who have to deal with it...but if you go through the gazillions of these threads you will find the vast majority of people who've had negatively thrown there way in RE to their weightloss to indeed be of the female persuasion....and very often, it is other females being *kitten*.

    i never said that it never happens to guys...i never said that guys never comment on women...I'm not speaking in any absolutes...I said "largely" in my first post...I said "most" above. I'm not trying be "mean" or anything...I'm just pointing it out, namely because I find it somewhat interesting.

    I personally find it interesting...generally speaking, guys get a lot less comments on their weight, etc than women...ergo, these seems largely like a female thing to me...how are you not comprehending what I'm saying here? do you not observe the same?





    I don't observe the same, no. I've met plenty of men who comment on women's bodies, and I'm reading replies from men who have experienced cruel comments from other males. I comprehend what you're saying, but it doesn't gibe with my experience. I didn't take it as "mean," but rather foreign to me. Forgive me if I neglected the qualifying words, there have been a lot of replies (can't believe this is 5 pages!! So much I could reply to but don't have the time).
  • barbecuesauce
    barbecuesauce Posts: 1,779 Member
    I am so sad for everyone who has shared their story. I just wanted to see at what stage in their weight loss people started hearing rude comments--and the amount of ugliness posters have experienced depresses me. I hope you all accomplish your fitness/weight goals.
  • glassyo
    glassyo Posts: 7,586 Member
    Ugh, I may have lied about people not being mean to me. This thread is bringing up memories.

    I used to play handball with a neighbor kid when I was in grammar school and he called me banana boobs.

    Also, the only nice thing my mother could find to say to me was I had nice ankles. I mean really...wtf?!
  • cwolfman13
    cwolfman13 Posts: 41,876 Member
    glassyo wrote: »
    Ugh, I may have lied about people not being mean to me. This thread is bringing up memories.

    I used to play handball with a neighbor kid when I was in grammar school and he called me banana boobs.

    Also, the only nice thing my mother could find to say to me was I had nice ankles. I mean really...wtf?!

    I got plenty of comments from the peanut gallery when I was overweight, but I've never experienced negative comments with weight loss. Everyone seems to be really happy for me actually and a lot of my friends and family come to me for fitness and nutrition advice...

    sure, I've gotten the obligatory, "you don't need to lose anymore" comments from time to time when I was losing, but in my experience, people are just trying to pay compliment and tell you that you look good...it's far better than the alternative of, "yeah...fatty...you need to keep cuttin'.

    I personally don't perceive comments like that as mean or unsupportive...never experienced that, so guess I have a hard time comprehending this, but I find it fascinating.
  • professionalHobbyist
    professionalHobbyist Posts: 1,316 Member
    I rarely heard negative comments.

    Women friends had it much worse.

    Right now I am so different looking some people I have not seen for a few years don't recognize me.

    I had to get a new work ID.

    It is weird. I know I am treated differently.

    In January we had lots of new people in the gym. I made sure to be nice to people. And yes I speak to the women and say hello. It seems to be socially appreciated. I remember feeling awkward as a new guy.

    Mean people suck.

    I love my gym now. It is a workout and social time. Now joining a bike club.

    The ever expanding fitness community!



  • TiffanyR71
    TiffanyR71 Posts: 217 Member
    It's especially heartbreaking to hear about kids and adolescents who have had to hear mean comments/insults from their own parents... Very damaging.
  • juliebowman4
    juliebowman4 Posts: 784 Member
    To my face?
    Never.
    Not sure what people say behind my back.....don't really care much.....
  • lemurcat12
    lemurcat12 Posts: 30,886 Member
    cwolfman13 wrote: »
    I personally find it interesting...generally speaking, guys get a lot less comments on their weight, etc than women...ergo, these seems largely like a female thing to me...how are you not comprehending what I'm saying here? do you not observe the same?

    I wonder if that's true both positive and negative. For example, setting aside random anonymous jerks who will say mean things about the bodies of passers by (which I do think happens disproportionately to women), I wonder to what extent this relates to the fact that women are more likely to talk to others about their efforts to lose weight. I've had few people comment on my weight loss this time overall, since I didn't talk to that many people about it. Those that did were mostly either close to me (good friends, a co-worker I talk to a lot who also lost weight himself in the past) or from somewhat different cultural backgrounds where commenting might be more appropriate. When I lost the first time I talked about it a lot to a few co-workers who were actively attempting to lose, so I got more comments. My observation is most men don't really discuss efforts to diet with others (and when they do they get positive comments) and women are more likely to talk about this stuff.

    Also, I do think there's a difference as to what's perceived as negative. Some comments obviously are, but many of those claimed as negative would not be taken as negative by me (similar to what rabbit said). I get the sense that women are more likely to analyze comments about their bodies and see intended insults in it while men are less likely even to notice or just assume that they are intended positively. Personally, since I consider my weight loss so positively and am in social circles where it still is strongly preferred to be thin vs. not (and where most people are average weight or less, especially when younger--overweight is not nearly so common as in the US as a whole), I tend to interpret any comment about my weight loss as positive (even "you don't have to lose any more") and I am confident I am interpreting it right, also.
  • CSARdiver
    CSARdiver Posts: 6,252 Member
    Not sure what people say behind my back.....don't really care much.....

    QFT
  • juliebowman4
    juliebowman4 Posts: 784 Member
    CSARdiver wrote: »
    Not sure what people say behind my back.....don't really care much.....

    QFT

    Lol....what's QFT?


  • azulvioleta6
    azulvioleta6 Posts: 4,196 Member
    I've lost nearly 100 pounds and haven't heard any comments like this.

    The worst thing that anybody has said to me was that I look like a Barbie. It was a joke. :)
  • Sued0nim
    Sued0nim Posts: 17,456 Member
    CSARdiver wrote: »
    Not sure what people say behind my back.....don't really care much.....

    QFT

    Lol....what's QFT?

    Quoted for truth
  • juliebowman4
    juliebowman4 Posts: 784 Member
    rabbitjb wrote: »
    CSARdiver wrote: »
    Not sure what people say behind my back.....don't really care much.....

    QFT

    Lol....what's QFT?

    Quoted for truth

    Ha. I worried that it might be quit f-ing talking ;)

  • flamingblades
    flamingblades Posts: 311 Member
    Well, you can't please all of the people all of the time. I don't give a hill of beans what others say about my weight. Everyone has a right to their opinion. I just roll with the punches and go on with my program. Take in what positivity comes your way and shrug off any of the horse hocky. (-:
  • Sued0nim
    Sued0nim Posts: 17,456 Member
    rabbitjb wrote: »
    CSARdiver wrote: »
    Not sure what people say behind my back.....don't really care much.....

    QFT

    Lol....what's QFT?

    Quoted for truth

    Ha. I worried that it might be quit f-ing talking ;)

    Laughsss :bigsmile:

    That's STFU ;)
  • CSARdiver
    CSARdiver Posts: 6,252 Member
    edited June 2015
    rabbitjb wrote: »
    rabbitjb wrote: »
    CSARdiver wrote: »
    Not sure what people say behind my back.....don't really care much.....

    QFT

    Lol....what's QFT?

    Quoted for truth

    Ha. I worried that it might be quit f-ing talking ;)

    Laughsss :bigsmile:

    That's STFU ;)

    Have to remember that one! Ah the dangers of acronyms: Quack-effing-tastic?
  • socksoffortitude
    socksoffortitude Posts: 69 Member
    Soopatt wrote: »
    I have been thin most of my life and have only gained the extra 15kgs I am carrying at the moment in the last 3 years. I used to be in a crowd where two of the women were very insecure and despised me for being thin when they were overweight. They didn't want to know me as a person and I had to try really hard with them - nothing worked, they would glare daggers at me and make mean comments ("someone wants to be looked at", "imagine always needing to be the center of attention") regardless of whether I wore a mini or baggy jeans. They would cling to their husbands as if I was a succubus and spread stories about how I was a tart. It was ridiculous.

    When I gained the weight I am currently carrying they could not have been more gleeful. At one function, the one actually called the other to come and look and pointed at me! (they had not seen me in a while). I was then cornered later and told that "yeah, age catches up with us all hey?")

    I must be honest, a part of what drives me forward is the sullen chicken bum faces they will have when I reveal my slim again bod at the end of this year, when the last time they have seen me is at my current weight.

    The idea that my success bugs them actually delights and motivates me. For those who have experienced similar mean things? My suggestion? Let it fuel you.

    The damned most heartbreaking thing is when people don't want you to succeed. It's so sad. Like, you don't just want to make some life changes and feel really good? You rather hate someone else for their success? I'm so rooting for you. Please do it!
  • jgnatca
    jgnatca Posts: 14,464 Member
    Obese. I'm still obese. I've been asked if I'm going to stop losing, and several comments suggesting I might want to play around now that I'm more attractive.
  • angelexperiment
    angelexperiment Posts: 1,917 Member
    All my life ive heard youd be so pretty if you lost weight. Or you dont need to eat this or that.

    now my mom says im starting to look good don't stop exercising. I also get well your on a diet are you supposed to eat that much or eat this particular thing at all.