I need more help
Replies
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Peachiko87 wrote: »
Now for the rest: Do you do everything on your own, like no medications?
NopeOr no family or friends support?
Nope...I do all the grocery shopping and cooking. I don't care what Mrs. ceo or my friends eat; they don't care what I eat.It can be very hard doing something that is actually good for you. Like exercise.
On the contrary, I look forward to exercisingDifferent people have different struggles. Placing blame just makes you look like an *kitten*.
Agreed...which is why we suggested OP stop blaming everyone and everything else.How did you gain self control, what helped with it?
I gave one answer in my first post. Before I ate anything, I paused, and stopped to consider whether it would fit into my calorie and macro goals for the day. If it didn't I put it back.When will I possibly see these changes to help gain self control?
When you start implementing them.If you can't answer any of these, then you are not being supportive.
Done. So NOW can I have my gold "supportive" star?
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cyclepro405 wrote: »I want to lose more weight but my wife/family are not supportive. They keep bringing in food (sweets) that I have not been able to resist and am therefore eating them. When I am out of the house I have no problem with my diet. However every time I go into the kitchen I am reaching for the wrong items. My wife says that she gets these deserts on sale and so she thinks that she is saving money. I keep pointing out that you are not saving money because we are eating them (mostly me). I am at the point where I just try to avoid the kitchen altogether.
Ultimately it is up to you not to eat over your calorie goal.
Prelog your food. Plan to eat dessert every day if you like dessert. Don't eat portions that don't fit your goal.
Tell your wife what your goals are and ask for specific help. Maybe a limit on the amounts of desserts each week, some desserts aren't as difficult as others for you or some desserts are more worth the calories than others. Maybe agree to go out for a more special dessert once a week and not have desserts the rest of the time.
Avoiding the kitchen isn't a bad plan. If it isn't time to eat then stay out of there.
Put food away in cabinets. The only food I have out in my kitchen is fruit.
Measure out a portion and put it on a plate or in a bowl and leave the kitchen with it. Eat slowly and really enjoy the item. Drink a full glass of water with it.
Stop eating the desserts at all. Your wife sees you eating them and thinks she is saving money on things people want. If you stop eating them then she can see she is wasting money by buying the desserts not saving money.
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put a bag or pan over it. But it is your choice. then put things out that are ok. If your wife doesn't buy them get them yourself. I wish your wife would support you,taht is sad.0
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I'm going to go with the majority here, I'm afraid you will just have to learn to control it. If your wife wants desserts then she should be entitled to buy them, just because it is there doesn't mean you have to eat it (as hard as that can be sometimes!).
A lot of people start off their weight loss journey, they come here, they want a million friends because they think that will keep them motivated. And it can, I find it great motivation coming here! But you will have those days where you just want to give up, where you can't be bothered or you just don't care. When those days happen, nothing anyone can say can really make a difference to your mood, the only person who can make sure you don't give up, that you can be bothered and that you do care, is YOU.
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+1 to all the others saying stop blaming your wife and take responsibility for things yourself, it doesnt look good, nor do many of us find your reason good enough, eat it, dont eat it but please stop complaining and blaming other people for what you choose to put in your mouth. Sorry but you are a grown man.
With 3lbs to go it means theres no place to hide, closer to traget or further away from traget for your actions.0 -
My suggestion.. try and get your wife on MFP and get her to exercise with you. It's been helping since my wife started here on MFP. She's eating better so it helps keep me away from temptation. It's still tough, and sometimes it just takes plain willpower, but logging ahead really helps me. If you want something that you know is bad for you, log it, then look ahead at the rest of the day and figure out what you're going to be able to eat and still not go over your goals.
For instance, if my daughter wants to go to Hardees for dinner, and I pop on to their nutrition guide and see that the "Six Dollar Burger" that I usually had before is 800 calories by itself, and after lunch and breakfast I only have 800-1000 calories left for the day it makes me think twice. If I eat that one huge burger, sure I might be full but it'll be plain water the rest of the night. Not to mention my sodium levels will be through the roof, and I will likely retain water because of it, and I'll probably gain weight because of that. Once you look ahead and think about it hard enough it becomes easier to just say no.
Nobody's perfect, and as other posters have said, if we had perfect self control we wouldn't be on MFP. So I guess my best suggestion is to look ahead on your diary each day, and push your wife and/or kids to exercise and eat better. If they won't, fine. Just know your own limits by sticking to your goals and using the diary to keep yourself where you want to be.0 -
ceoverturf wrote: »Peachiko87 wrote: »
Now for the rest: Do you do everything on your own, like no medications?
NopeOr no family or friends support?
Nope...I do all the grocery shopping and cooking. I don't care what Mrs. ceo or my friends eat; they don't care what I eat.It can be very hard doing something that is actually good for you. Like exercise.
On the contrary, I look forward to exercisingDifferent people have different struggles. Placing blame just makes you look like an *kitten*.
Agreed...which is why we suggested OP stop blaming everyone and everything else.How did you gain self control, what helped with it?
I gave one answer in my first post. Before I ate anything, I paused, and stopped to consider whether it would fit into my calorie and macro goals for the day. If it didn't I put it back.When will I possibly see these changes to help gain self control?
When you start implementing them.If you can't answer any of these, then you are not being supportive.
Done. So NOW can I have my gold "supportive" star?
will a happy face do? I couldn't find a STAR and was too lazy to make one myself.
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MireyGal76 wrote: »ceoverturf wrote: »Peachiko87 wrote: »
Now for the rest: Do you do everything on your own, like no medications?
NopeOr no family or friends support?
Nope...I do all the grocery shopping and cooking. I don't care what Mrs. ceo or my friends eat; they don't care what I eat.It can be very hard doing something that is actually good for you. Like exercise.
On the contrary, I look forward to exercisingDifferent people have different struggles. Placing blame just makes you look like an *kitten*.
Agreed...which is why we suggested OP stop blaming everyone and everything else.How did you gain self control, what helped with it?
I gave one answer in my first post. Before I ate anything, I paused, and stopped to consider whether it would fit into my calorie and macro goals for the day. If it didn't I put it back.When will I possibly see these changes to help gain self control?
When you start implementing them.If you can't answer any of these, then you are not being supportive.
Done. So NOW can I have my gold "supportive" star?
will a happy face do? I couldn't find a STAR and was too lazy to make one myself.
Why won't you be supportive in my quest to collect gold stars??
*butthurt*
OK...not really TY
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You gotta learn to have self control. If you love eating the sweets, prelog it and include it into your diary. Make space for it. You can't control what your family will eat, meaning, you can't tell them they can't eat it cuz you're trying to lose weight. It's definitely about self control. For example yesterday, after dinner my BF was drinking a beer and eating chips directly from the bag. Did I want some? Hell yeah!! Did I eat some? I did... even though I hadn't prelogged it. I began eating like 5 chips before I stopped myself, gave him the bag to keep it away from me, and logged it. I wasn't gonna make him stop eating and drinking because I'm trying to lose weight. Do I eat chips and drink beer? Of course, but I didn't yesterday because it wasn't part of my plan. When I want some, that's what I do: prelog and enjoy. But that's another thing, I stick to the amount that I prelogged and no more. Self control, my friend. That's what you need. :flowerforyou:0
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nakedraygun wrote: »I'm cutting currently, but I really want a beer for lunch - this will undoubtedly push me over my calorie ceiling which will be all your wife's fault, OP. LOL!!!
Seriously....let's all be adult about this...everyone has temptations. You have to learn to have alternatives in your house. Or you're going to occasionally work a snack into your diet (just like everyone else)...
All joking aside...it really comes down to one thing...how bad do you want to reach your goals. No one will stop you if you're truly committed. But then again; we are all going to have a cookie occasionally.
It's a lifestyle change...you have to make the commitment to yourself... keyword in this post... you! (not your wife) dang...I gotta find out where she's shopping ...my kids like snacks and I like deals 
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ceoverturf wrote: »Peachiko87 wrote: »
Now for the rest: Do you do everything on your own, like no medications?
NopeOr no family or friends support?
Nope...I do all the grocery shopping and cooking. I don't care what Mrs. ceo or my friends eat; they don't care what I eat.It can be very hard doing something that is actually good for you. Like exercise.
On the contrary, I look forward to exercisingDifferent people have different struggles. Placing blame just makes you look like an *kitten*.
Agreed...which is why we suggested OP stop blaming everyone and everything else.How did you gain self control, what helped with it?
I gave one answer in my first post. Before I ate anything, I paused, and stopped to consider whether it would fit into my calorie and macro goals for the day. If it didn't I put it back.When will I possibly see these changes to help gain self control?
When you start implementing them.If you can't answer any of these, then you are not being supportive.
Done. So NOW can I have my gold "supportive" star?
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ceoverturf wrote: »MireyGal76 wrote: »ceoverturf wrote: »Peachiko87 wrote: »
Now for the rest: Do you do everything on your own, like no medications?
NopeOr no family or friends support?
Nope...I do all the grocery shopping and cooking. I don't care what Mrs. ceo or my friends eat; they don't care what I eat.It can be very hard doing something that is actually good for you. Like exercise.
On the contrary, I look forward to exercisingDifferent people have different struggles. Placing blame just makes you look like an *kitten*.
Agreed...which is why we suggested OP stop blaming everyone and everything else.How did you gain self control, what helped with it?
I gave one answer in my first post. Before I ate anything, I paused, and stopped to consider whether it would fit into my calorie and macro goals for the day. If it didn't I put it back.When will I possibly see these changes to help gain self control?
When you start implementing them.If you can't answer any of these, then you are not being supportive.
Done. So NOW can I have my gold "supportive" star?
will a happy face do? I couldn't find a STAR and was too lazy to make one myself.
Why won't you be supportive in my quest to collect gold stars??
*butthurt*
OK...not really TY
I'm too lazy. Actually, it's someone else's fault. I just haven't assigned the blame to anyone yet.
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ceoverturf wrote: »Peachiko87 wrote: »
Now for the rest: Do you do everything on your own, like no medications?
NopeOr no family or friends support?
Nope...I do all the grocery shopping and cooking. I don't care what Mrs. ceo or my friends eat; they don't care what I eat.It can be very hard doing something that is actually good for you. Like exercise.
On the contrary, I look forward to exercisingDifferent people have different struggles. Placing blame just makes you look like an *kitten*.
Agreed...which is why we suggested OP stop blaming everyone and everything else.How did you gain self control, what helped with it?
I gave one answer in my first post. Before I ate anything, I paused, and stopped to consider whether it would fit into my calorie and macro goals for the day. If it didn't I put it back.When will I possibly see these changes to help gain self control?
When you start implementing them.If you can't answer any of these, then you are not being supportive.
Done. So NOW can I have my gold "supportive" star?
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Look, the world is always going to be a target rich environment. Best to do as the one poster suggested, add it in to MFP before you eat it and then see if it fits your budget for the day. If you're expecting family and friends to avoid foods you can't have, good luck with that. The suggestion for moving all of the treats for the family in a specific cupboard is a good one. 9 times out of 10 if you don't see it you won't go after it.
The other thing about getting healthy is that you have to learn to manage rather than avoid things. Plan some of those treats into your day. The first time I lost weight, I allowed myself to have a package of Reeses Peanut Butter cups once a week, and I'd eat so I could enjoy them. Thank god they invented Reeses Mini's! (The one's that are about 1/2" in diameter) I can plan in about 3 of those every day and be satisfied 0 -
Liftng4Lis wrote: »ceoverturf wrote: »Peachiko87 wrote: »
Now for the rest: Do you do everything on your own, like no medications?
NopeOr no family or friends support?
Nope...I do all the grocery shopping and cooking. I don't care what Mrs. ceo or my friends eat; they don't care what I eat.It can be very hard doing something that is actually good for you. Like exercise.
On the contrary, I look forward to exercisingDifferent people have different struggles. Placing blame just makes you look like an *kitten*.
Agreed...which is why we suggested OP stop blaming everyone and everything else.How did you gain self control, what helped with it?
I gave one answer in my first post. Before I ate anything, I paused, and stopped to consider whether it would fit into my calorie and macro goals for the day. If it didn't I put it back.When will I possibly see these changes to help gain self control?
When you start implementing them.If you can't answer any of these, then you are not being supportive.
Done. So NOW can I have my gold "supportive" star?ceoverturf wrote: »Peachiko87 wrote: »
Now for the rest: Do you do everything on your own, like no medications?
NopeOr no family or friends support?
Nope...I do all the grocery shopping and cooking. I don't care what Mrs. ceo or my friends eat; they don't care what I eat.It can be very hard doing something that is actually good for you. Like exercise.
On the contrary, I look forward to exercisingDifferent people have different struggles. Placing blame just makes you look like an *kitten*.
Agreed...which is why we suggested OP stop blaming everyone and everything else.How did you gain self control, what helped with it?
I gave one answer in my first post. Before I ate anything, I paused, and stopped to consider whether it would fit into my calorie and macro goals for the day. If it didn't I put it back.When will I possibly see these changes to help gain self control?
When you start implementing them.If you can't answer any of these, then you are not being supportive.
Done. So NOW can I have my gold "supportive" star?
I'm feeling a group hug coming on.0 -
ceoverturf wrote: »Liftng4Lis wrote: »ceoverturf wrote: »Peachiko87 wrote: »
Now for the rest: Do you do everything on your own, like no medications?
NopeOr no family or friends support?
Nope...I do all the grocery shopping and cooking. I don't care what Mrs. ceo or my friends eat; they don't care what I eat.It can be very hard doing something that is actually good for you. Like exercise.
On the contrary, I look forward to exercisingDifferent people have different struggles. Placing blame just makes you look like an *kitten*.
Agreed...which is why we suggested OP stop blaming everyone and everything else.How did you gain self control, what helped with it?
I gave one answer in my first post. Before I ate anything, I paused, and stopped to consider whether it would fit into my calorie and macro goals for the day. If it didn't I put it back.When will I possibly see these changes to help gain self control?
When you start implementing them.If you can't answer any of these, then you are not being supportive.
Done. So NOW can I have my gold "supportive" star?ceoverturf wrote: »Peachiko87 wrote: »
Now for the rest: Do you do everything on your own, like no medications?
NopeOr no family or friends support?
Nope...I do all the grocery shopping and cooking. I don't care what Mrs. ceo or my friends eat; they don't care what I eat.It can be very hard doing something that is actually good for you. Like exercise.
On the contrary, I look forward to exercisingDifferent people have different struggles. Placing blame just makes you look like an *kitten*.
Agreed...which is why we suggested OP stop blaming everyone and everything else.How did you gain self control, what helped with it?
I gave one answer in my first post. Before I ate anything, I paused, and stopped to consider whether it would fit into my calorie and macro goals for the day. If it didn't I put it back.When will I possibly see these changes to help gain self control?
When you start implementing them.If you can't answer any of these, then you are not being supportive.
Done. So NOW can I have my gold "supportive" star?
I'm feeling a group hug coming on.
one more for the custom win...
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I see the issue. It is a lot more challenging when the tempting stuff is readily available. I have the advantage of being the buyer of groceries, so my wife gets treats that I don't really want.
I'd suggest having a heart-to-heart conversation about it. You're trying to make some changes and are struggling with self-control right now. Could we cut back on the sweets on-hand, at least for a while? At the same time, you are going to have to own some of that. It might be your wife's fault that there's a package of Oreos in the cupboard, but it is ultimately your choice whether to eat them.
A family talk about everyone eating healthier might be in order, or asking your family to help keep you accountable might help.
It's frustrating, I know, but it might just be a challenge you have to bear. And sorry for the dismissive comments. Let's be honest about it -- challenges with self-control are why most of us need to lose weight, so it really ought to be clear that it's not ideal.
Anyway, best wishes. If adding an MFP friend might help, feel free to count me in. I'll be s much help as I can.0 -
Along those lines, when I used to eat peanut butter cups, I'd inhale them. Yeah, they still tasted good, but they were gone in no time. Now, instead of being gone in two bites each -- or, let's be honest, going into my mouth whole -- I'll take several smaller bites. I eat fewer of them and less often, but I think I get more overall enjoyment out of them now than before.Look, the world is always going to be a target rich environment. Best to do as the one poster suggested, add it in to MFP before you eat it and then see if it fits your budget for the day. If you're expecting family and friends to avoid foods you can't have, good luck with that. The suggestion for moving all of the treats for the family in a specific cupboard is a good one. 9 times out of 10 if you don't see it you won't go after it.
The other thing about getting healthy is that you have to learn to manage rather than avoid things. Plan some of those treats into your day. The first time I lost weight, I allowed myself to have a package of Reeses Peanut Butter cups once a week, and I'd eat so I could enjoy them. Thank god they invented Reeses Mini's! (The one's that are about 1/2" in diameter) I can plan in about 3 of those every day and be satisfied
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Exercise more, burn more calories, eat more treats!0
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it's hard having snacks like that in your home. I dont want to deprive my son from eating stuff like that occasionally so I will buy what he likes. you eventually learn not to eat it. I would keep other foods I did want to eat around so I had something to snack on instead of his snacks.
there is always going to be people around telling you its okay to eat this or that. the co-worker that brings donuts to work, the boyfriend that wants to order pizza, the friends who tell you this one time is okay. you have to want it enough to say no.
maybe talk to your wife and tell her what you are trying to accomplish and that its really hard for you right now if she could refrain from buying them until this becomes easier for you. I feel like people dont always understand how you feel or where you are coming from.0 -
Liftng4Lis wrote: »ceoverturf wrote: »Peachiko87 wrote: »
Now for the rest: Do you do everything on your own, like no medications?
NopeOr no family or friends support?
Nope...I do all the grocery shopping and cooking. I don't care what Mrs. ceo or my friends eat; they don't care what I eat.It can be very hard doing something that is actually good for you. Like exercise.
On the contrary, I look forward to exercisingDifferent people have different struggles. Placing blame just makes you look like an *kitten*.
Agreed...which is why we suggested OP stop blaming everyone and everything else.How did you gain self control, what helped with it?
I gave one answer in my first post. Before I ate anything, I paused, and stopped to consider whether it would fit into my calorie and macro goals for the day. If it didn't I put it back.When will I possibly see these changes to help gain self control?
When you start implementing them.If you can't answer any of these, then you are not being supportive.
Done. So NOW can I have my gold "supportive" star?
LOL our posts passed each other in cyber space!
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My mind is blown that this has come up when you only have 3 pounds left to lose, after having already lost 37, OP. I didn't check your profile so I assumed you were new to trying to lose weight. By this point you should have been practicing your "nope, not gonna eat it" skills for months. Are you burnt out or do you need to take a maintenance break? It's just really odd to me that you could be 93% to your goal and are still blaming others for your decision to eat something.0
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Peachiko87 wrote: »If any of you had self control, then why are you even on MFP?
I like being optimal with my intake.0 -
My mind is blown that this has come up when you only have 3 pounds left to lose, after having already lost 37, OP. I didn't check your profile so I assumed you were new to trying to lose weight. By this point you should have been practicing your "nope, not gonna eat it" skills for months. Are you burnt out or do you need to take a maintenance break? It's just really odd to me that you could be 93% to your goal and are still blaming others for your decision to eat something.
Very good points...
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My mind is blown that this has come up when you only have 3 pounds left to lose, after having already lost 37, OP. I didn't check your profile so I assumed you were new to trying to lose weight. By this point you should have been practicing your "nope, not gonna eat it" skills for months. Are you burnt out or do you need to take a maintenance break? It's just really odd to me that you could be 93% to your goal and are still blaming others for your decision to eat something.
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My husband will go to Sam's and buy the ginormous cakes, the next day, I pack it up and take it to work so the vultures will eat it. problem solved. after a while, he either needs to hide it or buy a single piece.0
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UltimateRBF wrote: »And I envy those of you with spouses and significant others..I am chronically single and thus have no one to blame my eating habits on. It's allll my fault!
No pets? Neighbors? Fedex delivery drivers?0 -
UltimateRBF wrote: »And I envy those of you with spouses and significant others..I am chronically single and thus have no one to blame my eating habits on. It's allll my fault!
Just go with the old classic - latent issues from your childhood. It's a good catchall when there's no one else handy to blame.
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