the fake 'I'm so fat' comments
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I always say, 'if you think you're so fat, then what must you think of me?' Normally shuts them up,
Wow. Good one!0 -
They could be trying to get attention, or they could have legitimate body issues, or both.
Who cares, though?
I used to worry about when other girls tried really hard to get attention, but now I don't really mind so much. If they want attention that badly, then let them have it.
(On a personal/side note: I used to have a girlfriend who would dress somewhat skimpy and would go up to random groups of guys at the bar and complain about her body: of course she was stunning and they'd all say she was so "hot" etc. I, on the other hand, had serious body issues, but kept them to myself and just talked to people, men and women, who had something interesting to say. Fast forward a couple years, I recently heard through the grapevine that she was really jealous of me, which is weird. She is much taller, thinner and prettier than me. You never know what a person is going through, so just be happy and spend time with people whose company you enjoy. Don't sweat over people who want or get more attention than you!)0 -
yeah, same thing with the Im so ugly!!! Thankfully this seems to run mostly with teenagers, which Im highly allergic to and dont have in my life. WoohoO! Horrible little self centered terrorists. I feel awful for anyone that rooms with them. Like their parents o god...0
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My mom is one of those people. Yes she's put on 10 or 15 lbs since her hysterectomy 8 yrs ago but she's 5'3 and still 130 lbs. I'm 5'8 and 212!! So I always grab a handful of my gut and shake it at her and say I don't want to hear how fat you are till you have all this to jiggle around! I understand she's squishier than what she was 25 yrs ago but come on!!! She looks great for almost being 50! And my dad is still in love with her inside and out. She should be happy. But I always tell people like that if you think you're fat then do something about it. I am. Always clams them up. :-)0
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As someone with BDD, I try to be supportive rather than bitchy when I hear these comments. You have no idea how the other person is feeling or what motivated them to say that. You don't necessarily have to throw out the "No, you look lovely" card, but countering with "Yeah, you've put on a few" is a dick move, imo.
EDIT: Ack, didn't realize the person before me had necro'd. Ignore everything, carry on...0 -
glad I'm a dude...0
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What's with the bringing back of 3 year old threads lately?
I am apparently fortunate enough to have friends that don't do this, though.0 -
When I was in high school I was standing in a lunch line with a friend and an acquaintance. My friend, who was pretty skinny, suddenly complained about how fat she was. The acquaintance, who was a much bigger girl, turned around really fast with a hurt look in her eye and told her that it was hurtful to say things like that... because obviously she weighed a lot more than my friend, and all it did was bring down her self confidence further. My friend looked shocked and apologized... I can't remember her every complaining about ''how fat'' she was ever again.
EDIT: Oops, super old thread
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For me it depends on the situation. If it's an insecurity I usually don't say anything, part of it because I don't want to be involved in drama (if it's not a close friend) and part because it's the kind of situation that you can't win. If you tell her she isn't fat, it may make her feel isolated and misunderstood, and if you tell her she is fat it may drive her into unhealthy practices.
If it's an obvious fishing for compliments situation, the way I react depends on my mood. There is nothing wrong with wanting to be complimented. It's human nature. So I just give her what she wants. If I'm in a mood where I'm not having any of it I'm usually kind of rude and I respond by "I wouldn't have noticed had you not mentioned it, but now that you've mentioned it I do think you look bigger than you used to be"0 -
I...actually don't know anybody like this.0
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It's probably not fake. Just because they are thinner than you does not mean they don't legitimately have low self esteem.
This.
+2.
I don't pay much attention to it because some people have an inner battle within themselves and they may legitimately see themselves as fat and are not just fishing for a compliment.0 -
If someone was doing this to somehow direct insults at me then I would challenge it but since the person is talking about herself why not just agree or sympathise and just get on with it. No need to worry about other people's hangups unless it is something that you are willing to help with. If someone is fishing for compliments then they are not secure in themselves just smile and accept that it is not you it is them.0
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xxthoroughbred wrote: »It's probably not fake. Just because they are thinner than you does not mean they don't legitimately have low self esteem.
THIS.
I'm "skinny" and make similar comments. Not everyone is comfortable with their body. Just because my love handle is smaller than yours doesn't mean it doesn't bother me.
OK, and your feelings are totally legitimate. But what about the point that if you think that way about YOURSELF and your tiny little love handles, what must you think about your friends? How can we express our own insecurities and emotions without hurting those around us or those we love?0 -
JuniperVera wrote: »xxthoroughbred wrote: »It's probably not fake. Just because they are thinner than you does not mean they don't legitimately have low self esteem.
THIS.
I'm "skinny" and make similar comments. Not everyone is comfortable with their body. Just because my love handle is smaller than yours doesn't mean it doesn't bother me.
OK, and your feelings are totally legitimate. But what about the point that if you think that way about YOURSELF and your tiny little love handles, what must you think about your friends? How can we express our own insecurities and emotions without hurting those around us or those we love?
I really don't think about my friends' bodies, period. I am completely self absorbed in that the only body I judge is my own.0 -
As someone with BDD, I try to be supportive rather than bitchy when I hear these comments. You have no idea how the other person is feeling or what motivated them to say that. You don't necessarily have to throw out the "No, you look lovely" card, but countering with "Yeah, you've put on a few" is a dick move, imo.
EDIT: Ack, didn't realize the person before me had necro'd. Ignore everything, carry on...
I too would not assume the person was fishing for compliments, but then I have known people with anorexia who were definitely not fishing when they complained about being fat.
Would you be so kind as to post a good link on Body Dysmorphic Disorder?0 -
It is annoying I agree, but they are likely struggling just as much as the rest of us. This kind of behavior is usually due to a body dysmorphic disorder so be understanding.0
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I'm the same as other's have mentioned here, I point out to my obviously skinny friends if they're so fat, they what am I? If the person isn't skinny, I mention different tips I know to help with weight lost, but I've only ever really had people who are super skinny and if anything all they need is toning complain to me about being fat.0
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Another necro thread.....0
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lauren3101 wrote: »I always say, 'if you think you're so fat, then what must you think of me?' Normally shuts them up,
Oh my gosh, so much this ^^^. I don't usually say it, but that's always the first thing I think when someone on here who is disgusted with themselves at 150 pounds...I wonder what they thought of someone like me who was once almost 300. I still feel that way now that I have lost over 90 pounds. I mean I'm a lot smaller than I was, but still quite a bit bigger than some girls I see complaining about their bodies, most of who don't have even an ounce of sagging skin like I do, lol.
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I know a few people like that!..they seem to say it when they're around me and they are clearly half my size!0
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They should add search abilities to groups and remove search abilities from the boards0
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Body dysmorphia is a real thing. I found a photo of myself at 16 years old and I know for a fact that I felt I looked as fat as I did when I hit 290 several years ago. Truely, I believe I was anorexic then, skin and bones, and was in so much emotional pain. You never really know what is in someone's mind. Please be kind.0
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pollypocket1021 wrote: »
I disagree here. How does an almost 3 year old thread where the OP isn't around anymore help anyone. It isn't any better than starting one from fresh, IMO.
ETA. There are some great older threads. This isn't one of them. Again, my opinion
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threeeeeeeaaaaaaad necroooooooooooooo
pollypocket1021 wrote: »
that is definitely not how the internet works lol0 -
It's really gross and ignorant that some people here would actually tell these girls, already struggling with body image issues or perhaps fitness issues, that they are getting bigger and need to work out, do crunches etc. Way to boost someone's confidence.0
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As someone with BDD, I try to be supportive rather than bitchy when I hear these comments. You have no idea how the other person is feeling or what motivated them to say that. You don't necessarily have to throw out the "No, you look lovely" card, but countering with "Yeah, you've put on a few" is a dick move, imo.
EDIT: Ack, didn't realize the person before me had necro'd. Ignore everything, carry on...
strong 4th post necro realization
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Cait_Sidhe wrote: »It's probably not fake. Just because they are thinner than you does not mean they don't legitimately have low self esteem.
Thisgeekyjock76 wrote: »Just because a girl is skinny doesn't mean she is lean in terms of body composition. Often times skinny girls have just as high of body fat percentage than girls significantly heavier than them due to very low lean body mass.
Also this
However, this is true, if depressing:DorkothyParker wrote: »Fat Talk is a means for women to bond, however negative it is.
http://www.livescience.com/1359-female-fat-talk-mandatory-study-finds.html
From there: “Because women feel pressured to follow the fat talk norm, they are more likely to engage in fat talk with other females,” Martz told LiveScience. “Hence, women normalize their own body dissatisfaction with one another.”
Stop this, ladies! In addition to being kind of, you know, bad for us, fat talk is also boring conversation. (I mean outside of MFP where it's what we're here to talk about in hopefully constructive ways.) We can bond and be supportive over other things.0
This discussion has been closed.
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