am I losing weight for the wrong reason?

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2

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  • Sued0nim
    Sued0nim Posts: 17,456 Member
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    There's only one person who can answer that

    So are you?
  • daniwilford
    daniwilford Posts: 1,030 Member
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    No matter what weight I am, exercise and eating healthy make me feel better about myself. You can use MFP as tool to track nutrition and exercise and if you lose weight? Bonus!
  • barbecuesauce
    barbecuesauce Posts: 1,779 Member
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    Realize that losing weight isn't the key to happiness. It's not the key to a successful relationship. But don't let too many body-positive Tumblr posts keep you from losing the weight, either. I think you should maybe address your poor self-image with a therapist (if you can) while exercising and maintaining a modest calorie deficit.

    I don't think there's a wrong reason for losing the weight, especially since you're technically at an overweight BMI. But realize that if you want to keep the weight off, you're going to have to care more about internal factors than external opinions.
  • KateKyi
    KateKyi Posts: 106 Member
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    The question is the answer. If you are happy then you will attract a mate. If you are losing weight to attract a mate then its probably not going to happen. Love will find you whatever size you are if you have found the right mate. What you need is to be in the right place at the right time
  • azulvioleta6
    azulvioleta6 Posts: 4,195 Member
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    Are you doing this for a specific person or to be/feel more attractive in general?


  • Star_Chef55
    Star_Chef55 Posts: 2 Member
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    I understand where you are coming from. I thought and sometimes still think that the reason I've never been in a relationship is due to my weight. But the reality is that my lack of confidence in myself prevents me from putting myself in situations where I might meet someone or be open to any advances made.

    That is why one of the things you have to address is learning to love yourself the way that you are, no matter what size. If you think you look attractive, then who cares what anyone else thinks. If you think you would feel better a few pounds less, then you have a whole network of people here willing to support you.

    Just know that you are not alone in how you feel.
  • SergeantSausage
    SergeantSausage Posts: 1,673 Member
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    Does the reason really matter?

    No.

    I think not.
  • Psychgrrl
    Psychgrrl Posts: 3,177 Member
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    Emily,

    I would caution you to not necessarily believe what you see regarding the lives of others, especially if it's through the lens of social media. We often show only the "best" of ourselves on FB, Instagram and the like. NO one knows that amazing selfie took 129 takes, 6 hours and several filters and editing.

    If you want to be in better physical condition, go for it! But you should do it for you, not for how you want other people to react to you. If that's what you're hanging your hat on, you won't be satisfied. In the end, your opinion about your body and your heart and your soul is the one that matters. You need to give yourself that validation and not look to anyone else to do that for you. In the end, they can't. It's all you. :smile:

    And us, we're here for you, too. :smiley:
  • MamaBirdBoss
    MamaBirdBoss Posts: 1,516 Member
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    I'm IN a relationship, and I want to lose weight A) because I'm too cheap to buy new clothes and B) because I miss being hawt. Oh, I also want to be fit, too. But really? Yeah, I want to look awesome naked again.
  • pollypocket1021
    pollypocket1021 Posts: 533 Member
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    Any person who would not date you based on your size is not worth your time.

    But I totally get having more confidence when you look better.
  • tomatoey
    tomatoey Posts: 5,446 Member
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    azulvioleta6 wrote: »
    Are you doing this for a specific person or to be/feel more attractive in general?


    Excellent question.
  • 4rtistry
    4rtistry Posts: 33 Member
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    From the sound of it, you want to lose weight because you believe it will make you feel happier. That's an excellent reason, in my opinion. Your appearance shouldn't be your only source of self-satisfaction, but it's deluded to pretend that it isn't a factor in same. Just be healthy about it and do it the right way and you'll be fine.
  • Liftng4Lis
    Liftng4Lis Posts: 15,150 Member
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    callsitlikeiseeit wrote: »
    ive been 100 pounds, and ive been 250 pounds. until you learn to love yourself for YOURSELF.... nothing will make you happy. no matter what weight you are.

    Love this!
    rabbitjb wrote: »
    There's only one person who can answer that

    So are you?

    and this!
  • Liftng4Lis
    Liftng4Lis Posts: 15,150 Member
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    Lose the weight. If it makes you happier, great (healthy always makes me happier), if it doesn't, you can always gain it back.
  • vixtris
    vixtris Posts: 688 Member
    edited June 2015
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    I think your weight has nothing to do with not being in a serious relationship. Be yourself around others, and you will come along someone that will click with you. However, there is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to change yourself. If you feel uncomfortable, or feel like you could improve yourself, then by all means do so! But do it for yourself, and your own happiness, not only to score a boyfriend (thats just a nice benefit lol)
  • MysticRealm
    MysticRealm Posts: 1,264 Member
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    I'm currently a size 6/7 and I'm not happy with my weight and am strictly losing it for vanity reasons. Lose weight for you and whatever reason you want.
  • zoeysasha37
    zoeysasha37 Posts: 7,089 Member
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    why i lost weight, i wasn't happy with what i saw in the mirror...i dont think its being vain at all.
  • Kalikel
    Kalikel Posts: 9,626 Member
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    If it's your reason, then it's not a bad one. :)

    "I want to be more attractive" is 100% normal and probably starts more weight loss journeys than not. :)
  • Chezzie84
    Chezzie84 Posts: 873 Member
    edited June 2015
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    emilywalker298 wrote: »
    jemhh wrote: »
    I'm not entirely sure I understand your post. When you say "unhappy in my personal life" are you referring to not being in a relationship? So you are asking if it is wrong to lose weight in order to attract a mate?

    (FWIW, I don't think that there is anything wrong with a little vanity. But I'm not sure if that is really your question.)

    Essentialy yes am asking if it's wrong that I feel I have too pose weight in order to be more liked... I know it seems very sad
    emilywalker298 wrote: »
    Chezzie84 wrote: »
    If you are happy with yourself and not with your personal life, that is what you need to change.
    Losing weight will not make you happier with your personal life.
    Not being in a relationship is not a crime, I didn't meet my otherhalf until I was 26.

    My advise to you is if the reason you are unhappy is that you are lonely (I just reading between the lines, sorry if this is not the case) then get yourself out there, do something that you enjoy and go meet people.

    So do you not think that it's all about your outwards appearance? It's hard I just see so many people around me happier, not to mention I've been told before in the past I am Fat, is it just a mental block I have? Thanks for the reply :)

    Sorry for not responding, I have been asleep.
    You said you were happy with yourself but not with your personal life.
    I think this is where I got confused.
    I was merely suggesting that if you are happy with your body and with who you are why change it just so other people will like you?
    The people you need in your life are those who like you, for you. Not your weight, the clothes you wear etc etc

    Maybe I misunderstood.
    In answer to your original question... We are all here to change the way we look and feel about ourselves, whether we fall into the lose or gain category. Is it vain? Most definitely. Is it wrong? Absolutely not.
    Because the most important person in all our lives that should love us, is ourselves.

    Maybe you should think about and physically write down all the reasons you want to change yourself and then decide if its what you want or what you think others want.

    Good Luck xx


  • MeiannaLee
    MeiannaLee Posts: 338 Member
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    Chezzie84 wrote: »
    If you are happy with yourself and not with your personal life, that is what you need to change.
    Losing weight will not make you happier with your personal life.
    Not being in a relationship is not a crime, I didn't meet my otherhalf until I was 26.

    My advise to you is if the reason you are unhappy is that you are lonely (I just reading between the lines, sorry if this is not the case) then get yourself out there, do something that you enjoy and go meet people.

    I second this. I lost over 30 pounds and I still have really low self esteem and a lot of issues orz.

    Before losing weight I would suggest taking care of your personal issues first then your weight. Because once you hit that goal weight of yours and your still like "wait im skinny now but why does my life still suck" your gonna want to lose even more weight to make yourself feel better or simply because it wasnt enought the first time to solve all your problems.

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