is it wrong to lose weight for a man ?

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fat2fitmom2016
fat2fitmom2016 Posts: 3 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
Have any of you lost weight for a man? Do you think that's a wrong reason to lose weight?
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  • bpetrosky
    bpetrosky Posts: 3,911 Member
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    Would you gain weight for a man?
  • SimoneBee12
    SimoneBee12 Posts: 268 Member
    edited June 2015
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    I think it really depends on the situation. I'm losing weight for myself, but part of my motivation is knowing that my caring, loving boyfriend deserves a hot girlfriend. I was losing before I met him, too.

    However, if he asked me to lose weight, I'd lose him, off a bridge, somewhere dark where no one would find him for a while.
  • Alyssa_Is_LosingIt
    Alyssa_Is_LosingIt Posts: 4,696 Member
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    bpetrosky wrote: »
    Would you gain weight for a man?

    ^^This...

    Do it for yourself. Finding the motivation and will from within is the only way that you will be successful.
  • natal94
    natal94 Posts: 21 Member
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    It's important that your partner is attracted to you. However, if you don't want to do it for yourself at all, it may make you feel resentment towards him for it. But if losing the weight will help your health, it can only help.
  • slaite1
    slaite1 Posts: 1,307 Member
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    SimoneBee12 wrote: »
    I think it really depends on the situation. I'm losing weight for myself, but part of my motivation is knowing that my caring, loving boyfriend deserves a hot girlfriend. I was losing before I met him, too.

    However, if he asked me to lose weight, I'd lose him, off a bridge, somewhere dark where no one would find him for a while.

    That's how I feel about getting in shape. He never makes me feel that way, I just want to look awesome for him bc he deserves it!

    But yea, if he told me to lose weight, he would be single :-)
  • natal94
    natal94 Posts: 21 Member
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    Then you have absolutely nothing to lose as long as it's healthy for you :)
  • barbecuesauce
    barbecuesauce Posts: 1,779 Member
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    Did this man ask you to lose weight? Dump him, drop the weight for you. Are you losing because you want to find a better man? I feel you I had that as a motivation at first too.
  • atypicalsmith
    atypicalsmith Posts: 2,742 Member
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    My ex-husband wanted me to gain weight allegedly so that other men wouldn't be attracted to me. (I didn't.) Yet the two times he cheated on me were with fat women. (I divorced him after the second one.) I think he may have had another agenda.
  • bpetrosky
    bpetrosky Posts: 3,911 Member
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    atypicalsmith wrote: »
    My ex-husband wanted me to gain weight allegedly so that other men wouldn't be attracted to me. (I didn't.) Yet the two times he cheated on me were with fat women. (I divorced him after the second one.) I think he may have had another agenda.

    Hillary??
  • Livgetfit
    Livgetfit Posts: 352 Member
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    atypicalsmith wrote: »
    My ex-husband wanted me to gain weight allegedly so that other men wouldn't be attracted to me. (I didn't.) Yet the two times he cheated on me were with fat women. (I divorced him after the second one.) I think he may have had another agenda.

    Congrats on losing a whole heap of deadbeat weight when you dropped that rotten b#####d
  • aylajane
    aylajane Posts: 979 Member
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    THe issue with losing weight FOR someone is if you lose them, its very easy to chuck it all. I.e. you lose weight, get all hot, then you guys break up. Morbid, I know, but life happens. Then the reason you went through all that work is gone, and since you were not enough motivation without him, you tend to slide right back to gaining again.

    Its like quitting smoking because of someone else - if that person is gone, so is your reason. Your reason needs to be within yourself... Its ok to have side benefits for someone else, but do it for yourself first - because its something you really want.

    Also, a lot of times losing weight exposes issues in relationships... I.e. suddenly you are hot, his friends and other guys notice, then he starts getting jealous or insecure thinking you are going to leave him etc. Plus someone who thought they were unlovable and lucky to find someone may suddenly find themself with "options" and think they "settled" and realize now they dont have to. People who go through weight loss surgery are generally told to watch for this, and to consider going through marital counseling as you lose the weight for this reason.

    Just be aware of the possibilities, and discuss them with your partner so you both are on the same page, with realistic expectations and open communication. Then do it for yourself anyway :)
  • PeachyCarol
    PeachyCarol Posts: 8,029 Member
    edited June 2015
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    Yes. (Dear FSM, I can't believe I forgot how this was worded and had the wrong thing typed, had to edit) and No.

    What's your primary motivation?

    There can be a lot of reasons for losing weight.

    There might be only a handful which result in ultimately keeping it off.
  • shedthesweater
    shedthesweater Posts: 279 Member
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    atypicalsmith wrote: »
    My ex-husband wanted me to gain weight allegedly so that other men wouldn't be attracted to me. (I didn't.) Yet the two times he cheated on me were with fat women. (I divorced him after the second one.) I think he may have had another agenda.

    Oh my gosh! sounds like some of the Men I dated. But never asked me to gain weight. I have heard this from Women before. Good for you you didn't. I bet you are a lot happier now without the cheater.

  • shedthesweater
    shedthesweater Posts: 279 Member
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    I know when I was younger, I wanted to look really sexy when dating, and feel great about my body as I am now working on this. But never lost weight for a Man, only for me to feel good about the way I looked in my clothes or naked. :)
  • naturesfempower
    naturesfempower Posts: 107 Member
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    Never adjust your weight either way for a man (unless he is your physician or nutritionist). If someone you are dating is calling you "fat" get rid of him now.
  • Shreshy
    Shreshy Posts: 1,263 Member
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    I think you should lose weight for yourself and if your man can't love you for who you are then I say good riddance :)
  • Jerrypeoples
    Jerrypeoples Posts: 1,541 Member
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    you want to lose weight for a man, a woman, to get laid, to throw it in someones face that said you couldnt, to run a marathon, to live longer etc...

    there is no wrong reason to lose weight as long as it is something tangible and you can put your mind to it.

    unless you want to lose weight for a goat....goats never stick around for long after the weight loss
  • atypicalsmith
    atypicalsmith Posts: 2,742 Member
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    shedthesweater wrote: »
    atypicalsmith wrote: »
    My ex-husband wanted me to gain weight allegedly so that other men wouldn't be attracted to me. (I didn't.) Yet the two times he cheated on me were with fat women. (I divorced him after the second one.) I think he may have had another agenda.

    Oh my gosh! sounds like some of the Men I dated. But never asked me to gain weight. I have heard this from Women before. Good for you you didn't. I bet you are a lot happier now without the cheater.

    Actually, about five years after we were divorced, I quit smoking and gained weight. Then moved to a new state in a rural area and stopped exercising and ballooned by nearly another 40 lbs. - 60 lbs. total. Glad he can't see me now - I'm down nearly 30 lbs. but still 30 over when he last saw me, hah!

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