is it wrong to lose weight for a man ?

24

Replies

  • OldAssDude
    OldAssDude Posts: 1,436 Member
    I am losing weight for myself, and I'm a man...:)
  • Liftng4Lis
    Liftng4Lis Posts: 15,151 Member
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  • Liftng4Lis
    Liftng4Lis Posts: 15,151 Member
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  • dragon_girl26
    dragon_girl26 Posts: 2,187 Member
    I think it depends on the context. I've seen plenty of posts from women on here complaining about how heavy their husbands are, the way eat, etc...because they are worried about the husband's health. If he told you that you have to lose weight or he won't find you attractive, then I agree, definitely lose him. If he cares about you, is genuinely concerned about your health, and doesn't approach it in a negative or nasty/nagging way, that's a little different. Still, you have to do it for you..you should be your primary motivation.
  • aippolito1
    aippolito1 Posts: 4,894 Member
    I wouldn't say wrong... I would just say that's an unhealthy reason and a sure-fire way to be unsuccessful. I choose to lose for ME... any man who doesn't like me now can eff off, and any man who doesn't want a girl who's ripped can eff off as well. I have extreme goals. I want to be a bikini competitor one day and any man who's intimidated by that will not be in my life. Same goes for right now at 60 lbs overweight.
  • riderfangal
    riderfangal Posts: 1,965 Member
    I am losing weight for a man. He just happens to be 4 but I want to be the happiest healthiest Mom for him
  • tuneable_cookie
    tuneable_cookie Posts: 5 Member
    I am losing weight WITH my hubby
  • losingitseattle
    losingitseattle Posts: 90 Member
    How much weight do you lose for this man? I was engaged to a real jerk and found out two weeks before the wedding (thankfully) he had been cheating on me. Prior to that, I had dropped a bit of weight for our wedding. Even though I was in the unhealthy zone at that point (hair falling out, looked way too thin) he kept telling me I was "pretty" but I'd be "much hotter" if I lost another 5 lbs. That demand just kept going no matter what I weighed. Told him to get lost and never looked back. DO IT FOR YOURSELF. BECAUSE YOU MATTER and so does your health. Once I made that decision that no man was going to tell me who to be and how to look, true happiness followed. Married now 20+ years to a guy who has never told me I am anything but beautiful and he's been with me through pregnancies, my crazy fit periods and times when I was carrying the extra bit of fluff. You are most attractive when you are happy with yourself. No person can get you there IMO. That's all self work.
  • jennifer_417
    jennifer_417 Posts: 12,344 Member
    The way you stated your question left lots of variables on the table. Is it my (mythical) husband sling me to lose weight because he is concerned about me? Is it a (again mythical) dudebro at the gym who tells me I need to lose another 6 lbs before he asks me out?
    There are times when it is appropriate to lose weight at least partly for someone else's sake. People will disagree with me on this point, but I believe it's deeply unfair to act like your weight doesn't affect anyone else in your life, and that needs to be taken into consideration.
  • JoKnowsJo
    JoKnowsJo Posts: 257 Member
    I would agree with others here... lose the weight for you because you want to make the change.
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  • gothicfires
    gothicfires Posts: 240 Member
    loosing weight isn't going to fix a bad relationship.
  • ak4niner
    ak4niner Posts: 7 Member
    As a man, I wouldn't want my wife to lose weight purely for me. It isn't bad if the significant other is one of the motivations, but as many have already stated you have to do it for yourself primarily.

    That being said, I want to live a long life with my beautiful wife, and so I nudge her to do healthy things. I guess that is kind of selfish, but I will just have to live with that.
  • callsitlikeiseeit
    callsitlikeiseeit Posts: 8,626 Member
    if you need to ask yourself that question, you have your answer.....
  • Varamyr38
    Varamyr38 Posts: 258 Member
    fat2fitmom2016 wrote: »
    Have any of you lost weight for a man? Do you think that's a wrong reason to lose weight?
    As long as you're getting healthy, is there a wrong reason? Whatever motivates you.
  • Ninkyou
    Ninkyou Posts: 6,666 Member
    Why would you need to lose weight for him in the first place? Is he not attracted to you as you are? Does he only care about your physical appearance?

    I get wanting to lose weight to FEEL sexy, but that's a different issue. That would be for you, not him.
  • tomatoey
    tomatoey Posts: 5,446 Member
    edited June 2015
    If you lose weight, yeah why not.

    Ok really though, I don't think it's terrible to want to be attractive, and I don't know, although anything could happen at any time, if you can stay in shape for a partner, that's not terrible either, it'll probably help the relationship. (I mean not if there's something actually wrong with it. More like it's part of reasonable maintenance of a decent relationship.)

    But you need to do you for yourself at least as much. A because it won't work otherwise. It's hard to make big life changes that involve daily decisions just for another person. And B because although it's nice to look nice for a partner, letting someone else determine your value is a bad idea. They could change their minds, for instance.
  • PrizePopple
    PrizePopple Posts: 3,133 Member
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  • senecarr
    senecarr Posts: 5,377 Member
    asflatasapancake wrote: »
    I have never lost weight for a man. Having said that, there's all types of motivation for getting healthy. Just as long as your only motivation isn't just for someone else. Because if it falls apart, than so does your health.

    You're not losing weight for yourself?
  • Ftw37
    Ftw37 Posts: 386 Member
    I lost weight for a man. Myself. I'm down 260+ pounds. Never felt better.
  • PaulaWallaDingDong
    PaulaWallaDingDong Posts: 4,641 Member
    edited June 2015
    It's not a great reason, but it's not the worst reason. The thing is, what happens when you put all of this work and dedication into getting fit for someone else who turns out to be a real p.o.s.? Will you keep it up for your awesome self, or go back to your old ways? My thought is that you should mentally remove the other person from the picture and THEN find your motivation.
  • DylanThomas2
    DylanThomas2 Posts: 78 Member
    I am losing weight because i want to look good and feel good about myself but my journey started with a rejection from my "best friend" after her rejecting me for guys with six pack abs and no personality (her words not mine) I decided my appearance was holding me back from finding a relationship. I have no interest in the girl who rejected me anymore but I do have an interest in looking good for the next beautiful woman that steals my heart and I think the least I can do is to be the best possible version of myself physically, mentally, and emotionally. It isnt about what motivates you to start your journey its about what keeps you motivated to be a better you.
  • ChiffonLaRue14
    ChiffonLaRue14 Posts: 40 Member
    In a way I am losing weight for a man BUT he happens to be my son :) my boy recently turned 18 and I realized that if I stay unhealthy I won't be around long enough to see him succeed further. His dad and I have been dating since high school and he has never once judged me for my weight. My partner is a trained 42k marathoner, licensed diver et al and he has been fit all his life. The closest thing he probably did to give me a hint that I should try more fitness routines was to buy me nice running shoes or cross-trainers lol.

    But the motivation really comes from within. Something in me finally snapped and told me to quit with all the yoyo dieting. I agree with everyone who says we really do it for ourselves ;)
  • snickerscharlie
    snickerscharlie Posts: 8,578 Member
    fat2fitmom2016 wrote: »
    Have any of you lost weight for a man? Do you think that's a wrong reason to lose weight?

    So what's he done for *you* lately?
  • blossomingbutterfly
    blossomingbutterfly Posts: 743 Member
    Lose weight for yourself, for no one else. Ever.
  • EvgeniZyntx
    EvgeniZyntx Posts: 24,208 Member
    I imagine that your relationship isn't reduced to these simple questions.
    Can a partner express an opinion about your health, looks, self care and not have it be the end of the relationship? Apparently not for many in Mfp land.

  • Alyssa_Is_LosingIt
    Alyssa_Is_LosingIt Posts: 4,696 Member
    Has OP come back yet? I want to know details.
  • Liftng4Lis
    Liftng4Lis Posts: 15,151 Member
    Alyssa_Is_LosingIt wrote: »
    Has OP come back yet? I want to know details.

    Nope
  • astrocosmiczoom
    astrocosmiczoom Posts: 86 Member
    Is he asking you to? No.
    Are you doing it because you think he'll love you more? No.
    Are you doing it for his approval? No.

    Are you doing it because you want to look good around him? You do you, boo boo.
  • Strawili
    Strawili Posts: 48 Member
    If your man is telling you to lose weight, there's a problem. Asking is a bit more polite, especially if your weight is a health concern.

    I would do it on my own terms/decision. Part of my motivation to lose weight is to be smaller for my boyfriend, but if he flat out told me "You need to lose weight" he'd be so single it'd hurt for a year.
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