Unsupportive Family

You have to accept that only you can decide what you will eat. It is hard, but you must learn that you can't please people through food. After a few times that your dad's fast food purchase does in the trash, he will get the message.

I think you should question why he does not support your request. You should be the one who is offended that he does not respect your choices, and that he over-rides your decisions. It is his choice to buy food that you will not eat - let him eat it! Calmly and respectfully remind him that you did not request the meal, and DO NOT EAT IT!

Either order something that fits, or offer to cook when he mentions going to pick up food.

You have to just not eat it.

There is no logical reason for your dad to be offended by you not eating a fast food meal that he purchased. He didn't prepare the food with his own loving hands from a family recipe. You specifically told him you didn't want it. He purposely ignored your request, your own feelings about eating the food, and bought it for you anyway. What, in all of that, is a reason to protect your dad's feelings by eating the food?

Next time he hands you that stuff, put it in the trash.
Someone buying you something does not mean that you have to eat it.

You're getting good advice here, yeah. On the other hand - hey, free food!

I'd request something specific. If not, I'd just eat the meat, skip the bun and fries, everybody's happy.

EvelinaJanex wrote: »

I know he is trying to be nice, and I love him for his thoughtfulness, but how can I get him to back off with the fast food?

Sounds like he isn't being nice or thoughtful. Sounds like he is ignoring your choices and opinions and guilting you into behaving a certain way.

Do feel pressured into eating the food. If you don't ask for it and have told him not to buy it for you then if he feels bad it's his own fault.

Be strong! Look him in the eye and shake your head NO! Don't eat fast food! If you were an alcoholic would he offer you a beer..? You might ask him that. It is hard and challenging but you can make choices that are healthy for you.

Something to bear in mind is, as hard as it may be to consider this, that it's actually a form of control from a parent to an adult child. I know the OP thinks her father was being 'thoughtful' when he bought her food, but honestly, all I see in her words is a daughter who's grown up, and is exerting her free will over her body. Whether parents actually consciously realise they're doing it or not, guilt tripping a 21 year old woman into eating food that she's expressly stated she neither wants and has told them they won't be good for her, is a fairly distinct attempt at parental control to me.

The OP is home for the summer and once again under her parents' roof, after living independently at college (I presume). Her parents can no longer ground her, or restrict most other parts of her life, and this is a small (but very important) part of her life that the father has discovered he can still exert some control over her. I am SURE he is not entirely malicious in his intent, but it is happening anyway. I suspect a tough conversation is needed, to establish boundaries in the OP's diet, and how far her parents are allowed to step into that part of her life. I'd be very interested to see if he changes to the things the daughter says she wants, even if they're from a fast food restaurant, or if he continues specifically buying only unhealthy options for her. Are there other family members in the house that will back you up? Once the majority is on board with a lifestyle choice, it tends to be that the person in the minority does give up their position, and allows the changes to take place.