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We broke up because...
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After meeting her family I realized I didn't want to mix my genes with the rest of the animal kingdom0
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Something about an animal kingdom on his crotch.......had crabs
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She turned into a angry chicken with roid rage because I drank the last Coke.0
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Drank the last coke...thats a hanging offense0
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She was too flirty0
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She wouldn't stop buying me new clothes0
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he didn't accept my grumpy side0
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She was always in a mood0
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She stole the rainbow I carried in my pocket.0
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he kept getting his hair caught in my brushes and refused to clean them out0
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his pockets were full0
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She was young and still had dreams and ambitions
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he said this is as good as it gets.0
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She made me look bad0
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He kept trying to push me on @sixxpoint0
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Tilts her phone sideways when taking a selfie.0
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he kept using my razor to shave his back0
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Always left out the rusty razor blades0
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Borrowed my sports bra one time too many!0
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she was too cool for me.0
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Blinded me with her smile @neurochick4140
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He didn't believe me when I told him he was my dream boat.0
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Was always prattling on-and-on about a boat0
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Always wanted to walk on the flowers0
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He wore shades, even at night!0
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She thought I wasn't cool enough!0
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she didn't like assplay0
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@Spnneil06
She laughed at me and called me "midget" when I climbed on the counter to reach things on the top shelf.0 -
She couldn't accept my ventriloquist dummies.
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