The Curse of Being Social - and trying to get healthy

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kjohnson7814
kjohnson7814 Posts: 2 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
Like many people on here, I am a social person. I enjoy meeting up with friends, checking out events, and generally just participating in all that my city has to offer. That being said, I tend to cave when offered a drink even though I said I wasn't going to spend money and therefore prevent myself from consuming liquid calories. In addition, I always munch on terrible, fatty, late night foods if I have been out having a few drinks. And, what is worse, is that even if I only have a drink or two, I seem to be feeling off the next day (not hungover in the sense of I am still able to fully function), usually leaving me with craving things like pizza, mac & cheese, and chips and not as motivated to workout hard.

I need motivation to not give into peer pressure, because I still want to be social. I usually will drink club soda with a lemon and tell my friends I drank enough already this week because it seems like a more acceptable answer to them over, I am really trying to get healthy again and drinking gets in the way. Sometimes I feel like when I have said the latter, my friends give me the "oh so you are better than all of us now" look. Also, even when I suggest activities that don't involve drinking, it always gets mentioned as a pre or post option. HELP me stay motivated and social!
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Replies

  • misskarne
    misskarne Posts: 1,767 Member
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    Maybe you need to reconsider your choice of friends if they cannot comprehend the concept of a social gathering without alcohol. It says more about them than you!
  • PAV8888
    PAV8888 Posts: 13,654 Member
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    In school I used to go to the bar and smoke.
    I quit smoking and going to the bar.
    Can't say I miss either.

    When we change paths in life, some of our friends continue on with us.
    Others don't.
    We remember them fondly.
    And move on.
  • Kalikel
    Kalikel Posts: 9,626 Member
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    It sounds to me like you're growing up faster than your friends. :)

    Join some fitness group. Meet new people. Take a class in something that interests you. Whatever. Start participating in activities that don't involve booze and do it with people who don't need to drink all the time.

    It's no fun to be sober around drunk people, anyway.
  • barbecuesauce
    barbecuesauce Posts: 1,779 Member
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    Time to make new friends and see these less often. When I cut way down on my drinking, I experienced the same thing--like they thought I was judging them. People can be self-centered and view your actions as being about them when they're really about you.

    Do you have friends who have broken away from the main group? Reconnect with the moms and the alcoholics.
  • 85Cardinals
    85Cardinals Posts: 733 Member
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    It's tough being social in this crazy hectic modern world of ours, with so many temptations and whatnot. I guess that's just part of being alive. Realize that your friends aren't gonna shun you if you don't eat as much as they do or whatever. They're probably worried what you think of them!
  • hellokathy
    hellokathy Posts: 540 Member
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    I don't drink but many of my friends do. It's just a matter of standing your ground and expecting them to accept it. If you end up saying no but acting all apologetic and humble about it, they won't take you serious and will still try to make you have that drink or two. Tell them no and if they ask for reasons, be honest and explain it to them. If they still don't accept it and try to lead you off the healthy path, turn around and find someone else to spend the night with. Sounds harsh but you have no reason to give in just to fit in. :)

    What I've noticed is hard but important, though, is not to come off as preachy. Whether you don't drink to avoid the calories or because you don't like getting drunk, remember that it's YOUR choice. Don't expect others to make the change with you if it isn't their decision.
  • jemhh
    jemhh Posts: 14,261 Member
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    Drink water, iced tea, or diet pop if you want to. It's not a big deal. I've never gone out and had anybody comment on my non-alcoholic drink order.
  • SuseAndo26
    SuseAndo26 Posts: 54 Member
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    Kalikel wrote: »
    It's no fun to be sober around drunk people, anyway.

    Never truer words spoken! :unamused:

  • livingleanlivingclean
    livingleanlivingclean Posts: 11,752 Member
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    Learn to say no.... You need to want to do this for yourself, don't worry about what your friends want to do!

    Try to organise catch ups that don't centre around food or alcohol!
  • Bacchants
    Bacchants Posts: 92 Member
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    How often do you see these friends? As I try to keep my calorie intake through the week fairly low, then I usually do something at the weekends which means eating more/drinking, however, my weekly average intake is still about where my goal is.
    Also vodka and diet coke or gin and tonic are fairly low cal drink options.

  • rybo
    rybo Posts: 5,424 Member
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    You have 2 choices, stay true to your convictions or find new friends that better suit the lifestyle you want to live
  • healthygreek
    healthygreek Posts: 2,137 Member
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    I just order 1 drink or glass of wine and water or club soda. I slowly nurse the wine and mostly drink the club soda.
    I am not about to give up summer socializing with our gang!
    We all have different rates of drinking or not drinking at all and no one ever pushes anyone else. It's all about being together!
    As far as food, I've learned to eat lightly if I don't have the calories-I might have a salad with protein-dressing on the side or 6 oysters or cocktail shrimp and maybe another appetizer.
  • tmbg1
    tmbg1 Posts: 1,283 Member
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    I gave up drinking a little over 3 weeks ago and have lost 7 pounds! Here is a link to a "dry July" thread if you would like to join the conversation there...it is really helping me to know that others are doing the same thing I am http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/comment/33255895#Comment_33255895
  • DeguelloTex
    DeguelloTex Posts: 6,658 Member
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    Am I late for home room or something? "Oh, my friends won't like me anymore if I don't do what they want."

    It sounds like you need to sort out your priorities. Others can't do that for you.

  • IsaackGMOON
    IsaackGMOON Posts: 3,358 Member
    edited July 2015
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    kjohnson7814 wrote: »
    Like many people on here, I am a social person. I enjoy meeting up with friends, checking out events, and generally just participating in all that my city has to offer. That being said, I tend to cave when offered a drink even though I said I wasn't going to spend money and therefore prevent myself from consuming liquid calories. In addition, I always munch on terrible, fatty, late night foods if I have been out having a few drinks. And, what is worse, is that even if I only have a drink or two, I seem to be feeling off the next day (not hungover in the sense of I am still able to fully function), usually leaving me with craving things like pizza, mac & cheese, and chips and not as motivated to workout hard.

    I need motivation to not give into peer pressure, because I still want to be social. I usually will drink club soda with a lemon and tell my friends I drank enough already this week because it seems like a more acceptable answer to them over, I am really trying to get healthy again and drinking gets in the way. Sometimes I feel like when I have said the latter, my friends give me the "oh so you are better than all of us now" look. Also, even when I suggest activities that don't involve drinking, it always gets mentioned as a pre or post option. HELP me stay motivated and social!

    OP these are not friends if they can't accept the fact that you want to better yourself.

    But, it is your choice on whether you want to do that.
  • amwoidyla
    amwoidyla Posts: 257 Member
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    I always crave junk when I'm drinking! I don't get mean or emotional when I drink, but I don't make good decisions when it comes to food. I'll have the free bar popcorn or chips, if someone wants to share apps...Impaired judgement for sure.
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,529 Member
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    You can be social without having to disrupt how many calories you take in a day. Problem may be you're trying to pacify your friends by joining in. You don't have to for them to have a good time.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
    9285851.png
  • Liftng4Lis
    Liftng4Lis Posts: 15,150 Member
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    Motivation is an inside job. YOU need to make a decision to stick to your convictions and either not drink, or make it fit into your allowance.
  • Jennloella
    Jennloella Posts: 2,287 Member
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    this really isn't about being social, it's about self control. If you can control yourself at home, control yourself when out with friends. Don't order the fries. Or if you do, don't order the ones with cheese and chili on them. Don't order a sugar filled mojito - order a diet cran and vodka, or light beer, then rotate with water. I'd also bet your friends aren't really as interested in your diet as you think they are. Next time they offer up something just say no - and order yourself something that fits in your calories (instead of making excuses) I bet the just move on.

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