Anyone else adopted?

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theawill519
theawill519 Posts: 242 Member
edited July 2015 in Health and Weight Loss
I was adopted when I was 3 months old and I know nothing about my birth parents. I see a lot of people are motived by heart disease or diabetes running in their family. It's scary to not know what runs in my family. It's also kind of freeing in a weird way. Just wondering if anyone else is in the same boat and how they feel about it.
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  • michmill227
    michmill227 Posts: 2 Member
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    I am! I was adopted at 5 months old through Catholic Charities. I found my birth parents when I was 27. So happy I did, I am lucky though they are amazing and now I have 2 loving families. It really is nice to know my medical background also.
  • theawill519
    theawill519 Posts: 242 Member
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    michmill227 wrote: »
    I am! I was adopted at 5 months old through Catholic Charities. I found my birth parents when I was 27. So happy I did, I am lucky though they are amazing and now I have 2 loving families. It really is nice to know my medical background also.

    That's awesome! I've never tried to find mine. Partially because I'm completely loved and fulfilled by my adoptive family and partially because I'm scared they might be terrible people, haha. It sure would be nice to know my medical history, though. I've struggled with my weight my whole life, so it'd be nice to know if part of that is genetics. It'd also be nice to know if I have any siblings since I'm the only child of my adoptive parents :)
  • kshama2001
    kshama2001 Posts: 27,982 Member
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    My fiance is adopted and met his birth mother and half brother when he was in his 40s. He's glad he did satisfy this curiosity, but doesn't feel any need to keep in touch. He didn't tell his adoptive parents that he did this.
  • michmill227
    michmill227 Posts: 2 Member
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    I totally understand, I have amazing adoptive parents also and wasn't sure if I wanted or needed to find my birth parents either. For me since I was adopted through Catholic Charities it was a very easy process since they had all the information...if it had been a hard process I probably wouldn't have bothered. I had just had my first little girl and it made me want to reach out to my birth mom especially because I couldn't imagine what it must have been like for her not to know how I was. So initially it was just to let her/them know I was good and had a wonderful life. The medical information (we have heart disease and some other things in the family) were a bonus to know. One cool thing is it was my birthday the day they (Catholic Charities) called her...she was beyond excited. :)
  • MsJulesRenee
    MsJulesRenee Posts: 1,180 Member
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    michmill227 wrote: »
    I totally understand, I have amazing adoptive parents also and wasn't sure if I wanted or needed to find my birth parents either. For me since I was adopted through Catholic Charities it was a very easy process since they had all the information...if it had been a hard process I probably wouldn't have bothered. I had just had my first little girl and it made me want to reach out to my birth mom especially because I couldn't imagine what it must have been like for her not to know how I was. So initially it was just to let her/them know I was good and had a wonderful life. The medical information (we have heart disease and some other things in the family) were a bonus to know. One cool thing is it was my birthday the day they (Catholic Charities) called her...she was beyond excited. :)

    Awesome story :)
  • theawill519
    theawill519 Posts: 242 Member
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    michmill227 wrote: »
    I totally understand, I have amazing adoptive parents also and wasn't sure if I wanted or needed to find my birth parents either. For me since I was adopted through Catholic Charities it was a very easy process since they had all the information...if it had been a hard process I probably wouldn't have bothered. I had just had my first little girl and it made me want to reach out to my birth mom especially because I couldn't imagine what it must have been like for her not to know how I was. So initially it was just to let her/them know I was good and had a wonderful life. The medical information (we have heart disease and some other things in the family) were a bonus to know. One cool thing is it was my birthday the day they (Catholic Charities) called her...she was beyond excited. :)

    That is an awesome story! I was adopted through Lifeline Children's Services; it's a Christian organization. I'm sure they would have all the records needed to reconnect me. Call me selfish, but I've never thought about it that way- I've never thought about her not knowing how I was. For me, it's always just been about not risking inviting a possible crazy person/drama into my life. Hmm, you've definitely given me something to think about!
  • theawill519
    theawill519 Posts: 242 Member
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    kshama2001 wrote: »
    My fiance is adopted and met his birth mother and half brother when he was in his 40s. He's glad he did satisfy this curiosity, but doesn't feel any need to keep in touch. He didn't tell his adoptive parents that he did this.

    That's awesome. I think if I ever did meet them, that's how I would feel. How did he keep that from his parents?! I don't think I could do that. I wouldn't want to hurt them, but we're so close, I literally don't think I could NOT tell them.
  • kshama2001
    kshama2001 Posts: 27,982 Member
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    If it were me, I couldn't not tell either :)

    He may either be not as close, or just more private than you and me, or it may be a guy thing.

    I believe his adoption was through Catholic Charities as well.
  • maggiemay530
    maggiemay530 Posts: 123 Member
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    I am an adoptive Mom and love hearing others adoption stories. I was given a bit of medical info on my babies... Always wished I had more, but often times birth parents are so young at that time, there's not an awful lot of history to go on.

    My daughter is 38 and my son 35 now and I am the one that would love to meet those birth parents to thank them with all my heart... I have 3 beautiful grandchildren and one coming in Nov. It's been a blessed life!

    Thanks for speaking out, Adoptees... My son has made an effort to search, esp since becoming a Dad and I wish the records could be opened... While I also understand the personal sensitivity of the issue for many people. He is registered with our State registry. Best to all of you!
  • IsaackGMOON
    IsaackGMOON Posts: 3,358 Member
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    Thea519 wrote: »
    I was adopted when I was 3 months old and I know nothing about my birth parents. I see a lot of people are motived by heart disease or diabetes running in their family. It's scary to not know what runs in my family. It's also kind of freeing in a weird way. Just wondering if anyone else is in the same boat and how they feel about it.

    I am also adopted. Never knew my parents, so there's literally no medical history.

  • kshama2001
    kshama2001 Posts: 27,982 Member
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    A friend of the family adopted a baby boy from Central America 18 years ago. This month, another friend of the family took him to meet his birth mother. He also got to meet his large birth family. I hear it went very well. His Spanish is just ok but the second friend is completely bilingual.
  • theawill519
    theawill519 Posts: 242 Member
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    maggiemay530 wrote: »
    I am an adoptive Mom and love hearing others adoption stories. I was given a bit of medical info on my babies... Always wished I had more, but often times birth parents are so young at that time, there's not an awful lot of history to go on.

    My daughter is 38 and my son 35 now and I am the one that would love to meet those birth parents to thank them with all my heart... I have 3 beautiful grandchildren and one coming in Nov. It's been a blessed life!

    Thanks for speaking out, Adoptees... My son has made an effort to search, esp since becoming a Dad and I wish the records could be opened... While I also understand the personal sensitivity of the issue for many people. He is registered with our State registry. Best to all of you!

    This was exactly my situation. I do know my birth mother was 16 when she had me, so at that point, there probably was no significant medical history.

    I love hearing happy adopter/adoptee stories :) Thanks for sharing!
  • Nursevb
    Nursevb Posts: 5 Member
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    Adopted at birth!
  • theawill519
    theawill519 Posts: 242 Member
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    IsaackGMOON wrote: »
    Thea519 wrote: »
    I was adopted when I was 3 months old and I know nothing about my birth parents. I see a lot of people are motived by heart disease or diabetes running in their family. It's scary to not know what runs in my family. It's also kind of freeing in a weird way. Just wondering if anyone else is in the same boat and how they feel about it.

    I am also adopted. Never knew my parents, so there's literally no medical history.

    It's weird, huh? Like, I want to know so I can be prepared, but at the same time, not knowing gives me a kind of carefree attitude about it.
  • madhatter2013
    madhatter2013 Posts: 1,547 Member
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    I come from the other end of this branch. I put a child up for adoption because I was a teenager and didn't want her to grow upliving the crappy life I saw myself being able to give her. She is 17 now. I see her every year. She was actually with her parents at my wedding recently. I was able to chose her parents and we agreed on a few things since it was an open adoption. They stay informed about me and my family just as I stay informed about her and them. She knows nothing about her dad except a picture she has of him and has never personally asked about him. I do keep track of him so that I know where to find him if she ever does get curious. I just wanted to make sure she didn't grow up wanting for anything or not knowing her history.
  • robspot
    robspot Posts: 130 Member
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    I was adopted at 3 months and I'm 42 now. I've thought about putting my name on the adoption register for contact quite a few times but never got round to it. I do wonder if my mum is as lazy as me lol.

    I did find my original birth name on someone's family tree on a genealogy site a few years ago. I emailed the owner asking for more details but never got a reply.

    I have a 6 year old daughter of my own now and having my own lineage really means a lot to me. I guess I kind of feel like I don't come from anywhere. I'm not sure I'll try making contact now, I'm just grateful that my mum had me in the first place. Although I would like to know about siblings.....
  • barbecuesauce
    barbecuesauce Posts: 1,771 Member
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    Thea519 wrote: »
    michmill227 wrote: »
    I totally understand, I have amazing adoptive parents also and wasn't sure if I wanted or needed to find my birth parents either. For me since I was adopted through Catholic Charities it was a very easy process since they had all the information...if it had been a hard process I probably wouldn't have bothered. I had just had my first little girl and it made me want to reach out to my birth mom especially because I couldn't imagine what it must have been like for her not to know how I was. So initially it was just to let her/them know I was good and had a wonderful life. The medical information (we have heart disease and some other things in the family) were a bonus to know. One cool thing is it was my birthday the day they (Catholic Charities) called her...she was beyond excited. :)

    That is an awesome story! I was adopted through Lifeline Children's Services; it's a Christian organization. I'm sure they would have all the records needed to reconnect me. Call me selfish, but I've never thought about it that way- I've never thought about her not knowing how I was. For me, it's always just been about not risking inviting a possible crazy person/drama into my life. Hmm, you've definitely given me something to think about!

    My cousin had a bad experience after he found his birth mother. She was a drug addict and con artist and he eventually had to cut ties. He had always known that he had older siblings and spent his whole life feeling bad about her giving only him up, but he came away thankful that she had.

    Could you find out their names and google them without them knowing? There are an awful lot of baby boomers and older with facebook and twitter accounts, it could be that you could get a rough idea of their personalities.
  • maggiemay530
    maggiemay530 Posts: 123 Member
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    madhatter2013 wrote: »
    I come from the other end of this branch. I put a child up for adoption because I was a teenager and didn't want her to grow upliving the crappy life I saw myself being able to give her. She is 17 now. I see her every year. She was actually with her parents at my wedding recently. I was able to chose her parents and we agreed on a few things since it was an open adoption. They stay informed about me and my family just as I stay informed about her and them. She knows nothing about her dad except a picture she has of him and has never personally asked about him. I do keep track of him so that I know where to find him if she ever does get curious. I just wanted to make sure she didn't grow up wanting for anything or not knowing her history.
    Bless you for making that choice... That's such love. Thank you for sharing.
  • barbecuesauce
    barbecuesauce Posts: 1,771 Member
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    robspot wrote: »
    I was adopted at 3 months and I'm 42 now. I've thought about putting my name on the adoption register for contact quite a few times but never got round to it. I do wonder if my mum is as lazy as me lol.

    I did find my original birth name on someone's family tree on a genealogy site a few years ago. I emailed the owner asking for more details but never got a reply.

    I have a 6 year old daughter of my own now and having my own lineage really means a lot to me. I guess I kind of feel like I don't come from anywhere. I'm not sure I'll try making contact now, I'm just grateful that my mum had me in the first place. Although I would like to know about siblings.....

    Depending on the site, they may have let their subscription lapse. I think Ancestry has things like that behind a paywall.
  • tulips_and_tea
    tulips_and_tea Posts: 5,714 Member
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    Thea519 wrote: »
    IsaackGMOON wrote: »
    Thea519 wrote: »
    I was adopted when I was 3 months old and I know nothing about my birth parents. I see a lot of people are motived by heart disease or diabetes running in their family. It's scary to not know what runs in my family. It's also kind of freeing in a weird way. Just wondering if anyone else is in the same boat and how they feel about it.

    I am also adopted. Never knew my parents, so there's literally no medical history.

    It's weird, huh? Like, I want to know so I can be prepared, but at the same time, not knowing gives me a kind of carefree attitude about it.


    Sometimes this can be a good thing. I'm not adopted, but have several health issues that run in my family. I decided just to take the best care of myself that I possibly can and not worry about it. It's mind over matter, depending on the health issue.

    Other family members however have long since "accepted" that these conditions are their fate and do nothing to prevent them. They then live short, unhealthy lives.

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