Anyone else adopted?

I am! I was adopted at 5 months old through Catholic Charities. I found my birth parents when I was 27. So happy I did, I am lucky though they are amazing and now I have 2 loving families. It really is nice to know my medical background also.

My fiance is adopted and met his birth mother and half brother when he was in his 40s. He's glad he did satisfy this curiosity, but doesn't feel any need to keep in touch. He didn't tell his adoptive parents that he did this.

michmill227 wrote: »

I totally understand, I have amazing adoptive parents also and wasn't sure if I wanted or needed to find my birth parents either. For me since I was adopted through Catholic Charities it was a very easy process since they had all the information...if it had been a hard process I probably wouldn't have bothered. I had just had my first little girl and it made me want to reach out to my birth mom especially because I couldn't imagine what it must have been like for her not to know how I was. So initially it was just to let her/them know I was good and had a wonderful life. The medical information (we have heart disease and some other things in the family) were a bonus to know. One cool thing is it was my birthday the day they (Catholic Charities) called her...she was beyond excited.

Awesome story

I am an adoptive Mom and love hearing others adoption stories. I was given a bit of medical info on my babies... Always wished I had more, but often times birth parents are so young at that time, there's not an awful lot of history to go on.

My daughter is 38 and my son 35 now and I am the one that would love to meet those birth parents to thank them with all my heart... I have 3 beautiful grandchildren and one coming in Nov. It's been a blessed life!

Thanks for speaking out, Adoptees... My son has made an effort to search, esp since becoming a Dad and I wish the records could be opened... While I also understand the personal sensitivity of the issue for many people. He is registered with our State registry. Best to all of you!

A friend of the family adopted a baby boy from Central America 18 years ago. This month, another friend of the family took him to meet his birth mother. He also got to meet his large birth family. I hear it went very well. His Spanish is just ok but the second friend is completely bilingual.

Adopted at birth!

I come from the other end of this branch. I put a child up for adoption because I was a teenager and didn't want her to grow upliving the crappy life I saw myself being able to give her. She is 17 now. I see her every year. She was actually with her parents at my wedding recently. I was able to chose her parents and we agreed on a few things since it was an open adoption. They stay informed about me and my family just as I stay informed about her and them. She knows nothing about her dad except a picture she has of him and has never personally asked about him. I do keep track of him so that I know where to find him if she ever does get curious. I just wanted to make sure she didn't grow up wanting for anything or not knowing her history.

Thea519 wrote: »

michmill227 wrote: »

I totally understand, I have amazing adoptive parents also and wasn't sure if I wanted or needed to find my birth parents either. For me since I was adopted through Catholic Charities it was a very easy process since they had all the information...if it had been a hard process I probably wouldn't have bothered. I had just had my first little girl and it made me want to reach out to my birth mom especially because I couldn't imagine what it must have been like for her not to know how I was. So initially it was just to let her/them know I was good and had a wonderful life. The medical information (we have heart disease and some other things in the family) were a bonus to know. One cool thing is it was my birthday the day they (Catholic Charities) called her...she was beyond excited.

That is an awesome story! I was adopted through Lifeline Children's Services; it's a Christian organization. I'm sure they would have all the records needed to reconnect me. Call me selfish, but I've never thought about it that way- I've never thought about her not knowing how I was. For me, it's always just been about not risking inviting a possible crazy person/drama into my life. Hmm, you've definitely given me something to think about!

My cousin had a bad experience after he found his birth mother. She was a drug addict and con artist and he eventually had to cut ties. He had always known that he had older siblings and spent his whole life feeling bad about her giving only him up, but he came away thankful that she had.

Could you find out their names and google them without them knowing? There are an awful lot of baby boomers and older with facebook and twitter accounts, it could be that you could get a rough idea of their personalities.

robspot wrote: »

I was adopted at 3 months and I'm 42 now. I've thought about putting my name on the adoption register for contact quite a few times but never got round to it. I do wonder if my mum is as lazy as me lol.

I did find my original birth name on someone's family tree on a genealogy site a few years ago. I emailed the owner asking for more details but never got a reply.

I have a 6 year old daughter of my own now and having my own lineage really means a lot to me. I guess I kind of feel like I don't come from anywhere. I'm not sure I'll try making contact now, I'm just grateful that my mum had me in the first place. Although I would like to know about siblings.....

Depending on the site, they may have let their subscription lapse. I think Ancestry has things like that behind a paywall.

Hi
I was adopted and came in France when I was 13 month. As you I didn"t know anything about my parents, it's very weird to not knowing about my medical history.
it's "funny " beacause as my adoptive father I am ashmatic...
I know nothing about my family, it misses me now that I have two daughters and I don't know a lot of things about the country I was born (korea).

madhatter2013 wrote: »

maggiemay530 wrote: »

madhatter2013 wrote: »

I come from the other end of this branch. I put a child up for adoption because I was a teenager and didn't want her to grow upliving the crappy life I saw myself being able to give her. She is 17 now. I see her every year. She was actually with her parents at my wedding recently. I was able to chose her parents and we agreed on a few things since it was an open adoption. They stay informed about me and my family just as I stay informed about her and them. She knows nothing about her dad except a picture she has of him and has never personally asked about him. I do keep track of him so that I know where to find him if she ever does get curious. I just wanted to make sure she didn't grow up wanting for anything or not knowing her history.

Bless you for making that choice... That's such love. Thank you for sharing.

Thank you. I was always told "well, you should own your responsability and take care of her the best way you can" and all I could think of to say "isn't that what I'm doing?"

That's a terrible thing to say to someone! You did the best thing you could. Glad to know it turned out well for everyone involved.

Also adopted from birth here, my adoptive parents were actually in the delivery room. It was a closed adoption so other than what is on the legal documents I know nothing.

This is where I differ from most of you and this may come across as insensitive but I have never wanted more details or had any desire to reach out to birth parents. In my eyes- they didn't want me, while my adoptive family did. I usually don't even refer to my family/parents as "adoptive family" bs "birth parents" because I honestly don't care if my mom delivered me or not. This is my family and always will be. They are absolutely wonderful and I am grateful to be with them. I couldn't care less about some woman I don't know.

Thea519 wrote: »

madhatter2013 wrote: »

maggiemay530 wrote: »

madhatter2013 wrote: »

I come from the other end of this branch. I put a child up for adoption because I was a teenager and didn't want her to grow upliving the crappy life I saw myself being able to give her. She is 17 now. I see her every year. She was actually with her parents at my wedding recently. I was able to chose her parents and we agreed on a few things since it was an open adoption. They stay informed about me and my family just as I stay informed about her and them. She knows nothing about her dad except a picture she has of him and has never personally asked about him. I do keep track of him so that I know where to find him if she ever does get curious. I just wanted to make sure she didn't grow up wanting for anything or not knowing her history.

Bless you for making that choice... That's such love. Thank you for sharing.

Thank you. I was always told "well, you should own your responsability and take care of her the best way you can" and all I could think of to say "isn't that what I'm doing?"

Just know that you are awesome. I don't know what my life would've been like had I been raised by my birth mother, but I do know that I can't imagine a better life than the one I have now. You made a huge sacrifice for your daughter and gave her, possibly, the greatest gift she'll ever receive.

I can't say it wasn't a little on the selfish side, but when you're a pregnant teenager, you have to be selfish to be selfless. I imagined having her, living single cause her dad didn't want her, in a trailor (not that that's a bad thing), maybe doing drugs, jumping from job to job, in and out of relationships, trying to find a daddy, in and out of the courts trying to get the father to do his job. I just wasn't all about that. Now granted, my life may have turned out exactly as it is now, happily married with other kids working toward my MBA but I feel that this lesson, as a teenager, was something I needed in order to get where I am. I'm very happy I didn't choose a closed adoption. I think it's been better for all of us that we keep in touch. She's been a part of the important things in my life. I had my high school Senior pics taken with her, she came to my college graduation and I'm sure will be at the next one and she was part of my wedding recently. Her parents couldn't be any better. They were an absolute miracle and I only found them by chance. They are an extension to my family and my life saver. They had their fears in the beginning like most adopting parents do. They feared that I would change my mind or that her dad would come after her. I did everything in my power to make them feel better about the whole thing. We kept limits and boundaries all these years. She was 16 before we moved onto a different level of communication, i.e. friends on facebook, giving out actual addresses and phone numbers, etc. Any time they would ask about her dad I would always reassure them that they'd have to read my obituary before they would ever have a problem with him.

EDIT: I don't mean to take over this thread. Just another point of view on the subject.