Dealing with embarrassment...what's your trick?

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Replies

  • seltzermint555
    seltzermint555 Posts: 10,740 Member
    If it bugs you that much, go to another neighborhood or a different venue (park, track, whatever)
  • SoDamnHungry
    SoDamnHungry Posts: 6,998 Member
    If I even bother to think anything about random people exercising on the street, it's generally "Good for them!" If any jerks shout crap at you, you should realize that's about the same as being insulted by a dog turd laying on the side of the road.
  • noel2fit
    noel2fit Posts: 235 Member
    Remember you are being a badass and doing something good for yourself. You're awesome and anyone looking at you run is probably thinking "Good for her! You go girl!". Anyone who is thinking anything negative is probably thinking negative thoughts about everyone, not just you, and they're just a negative person living a sad negative life. Everyone worth giving a *kitten* about is thinking you rock! Sad, cold-hearted people festering in negativity are to be ignored regardless of the scenario. "The lion does not lose sleep over the opinions of sheep." You're the lion!
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 49,021 Member
    gaelicstorm26 wrote: »
    I have a lot of weight to lose. I'm down 18 pounds already but I would like to lose about 100 lbs total. I don't have a problem with motivation, I have a problem with what I think other people are thinking about me when I try to be active. I want to be more active but I find myself waiting until it's dark to do my thing.

    How did you guys cope when you were first starting out and worried about what other people thought? I know it's a personal problem, but I walk in the neighborhood where I live as the surrounding older part of the neighborhood doesn't have sidewalks. There are a lot of people I work with who live right by me.

    And tips? When will it get easier? Am I dumb?
    Go sit in a mall. Take your time to look around and see how many people care to look at other people in general. You'll find that NO ONE really cares. Like you, they're so worried about what other people think about them.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
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  • cwolfman13
    cwolfman13 Posts: 41,865 Member
    a lot of people worry about this for no good reason. when i'm in the gym to work, i'm working...that's what i'm there for...i barely no you exist let alone have anything thoughts going on in my head about what you're doing.

    and by the by, kids will be kids...i'm pretty lean and fit and still get heckled by teenagers when I'm running and riding...that's just what they do...regardless of your size. they're *kitten* morons...so don't worry about them
  • DuckReconMajor
    DuckReconMajor Posts: 434 Member
    I always smile and wave to people I see when out on a run. Most of the time they smile and wave back.

    As for being embarrassed at trying to become more fit, I used to have that fear but i've found it to be mostly unfounded. I've found most people are happy to hear about/see your progress and are supportive.
  • reallyregina
    reallyregina Posts: 62 Member
    I hope you start going in the daytime. When I see someone of any size or age outside being active it always inspires me. Maybe you'll inspire other people. I've sometimes stopped and said a few encouraging words because a lot of people can be jerks but those people are jerks to everyone and they are the ones with the problem. Usually when I see someone I wish I were brave enough to ask if I can join them. Maybe one of your coworkers will see you and want to go with you.
  • Annie_01
    Annie_01 Posts: 3,096 Member
    freak4iron wrote: »
    gaelicstorm26 wrote: »
    I have a lot of weight to lose. I'm down 18 pounds already but I would like to lose about 100 lbs total. I don't have a problem with motivation, I have a problem with what I think other people are thinking about me when I try to be active. I want to be more active but I find myself waiting until it's dark to do my thing.

    How did you guys cope when you were first starting out and worried about what other people thought? I know it's a personal problem, but I walk in the neighborhood where I live as the surrounding older part of the neighborhood doesn't have sidewalks. There are a lot of people I work with who live right by me.

    And tips? When will it get easier? Am I dumb?

    No your not dumb, I struggle with the with the same thoughts ( I think most do) I try to reverse it and use the desire to show people I'm working hard at changing my body as my motivation. It's helped tremendously while running. The cars and head turns are the one thing that keep me going the last mile sometimes. I don't know how to make you think like that though, you just gotta do that for yourself and start caring more about what your doing and less about what people think....

    I think when when we have those moments when we feel as if others are judging...maybe...it is more of a reflection of how we feel about ourselves.

    Some of my most embarrassing moments are when I am standing and looking in a mirror and I realize what I have allowed to happen to me.

  • Annie_01
    Annie_01 Posts: 3,096 Member
    gaelicstorm26 wrote: »
    Annie_01 wrote: »
    If I am honest...I USED to feel the same way. Looking back...I wonder...was I looking for an excuse not to go exercise.

    Now...I don't care...let people judge. After all...

    You can lose the weight much easier than they can lose their judgmental attitudes.

    I usually go later in the evening. It's nice because it's dark and it's not 85 degrees with 70% humidity. Once the school year starts up again I think I'm going to go in the mornings. Right now I'm just walking 30 minutes, three times a week to build up my fitness level. I'm going to slowly add in some jogging for very brief intervals. By Christmas I would like to be able to jog for 30 minutes.

    Right now I go early mornings and late evenings...not because I am embarrassed but because of the HEAT! Usually by 8:30am the sun is so intense and the temps are rising. We have had several days between 95 and 100. It is just too hot for me.

    When it gets this hot I revert to doing some of the walk/jog podcasts or videos on youtube inside.

    One of the things that I used to help me overcome that worry of being judged was a pedometer. I set goals for myself and the only way that I could meet them was to get out there and keep walking. Soon reaching my goal became much more important to me than what others thought.

    Good luck...

  • missh1967
    missh1967 Posts: 661 Member
    usmcmp wrote: »
    The people who are looking have probably been in your shoes.

    The people who are judging don't matter.

    This!
  • RavenLibra
    RavenLibra Posts: 1,737 Member
    If you think people are looking and judging.. it is probably because YOU are looking and judging...change begins inside of you... the minute you move beyond your looky-loo... judgey habits and begin moving that energy to something more constructive that is the minute you will begin to be okay with yourself in public... People most often fear and dislike those things they find within themselves... Be a bigger person and you will not be belittled by what YOU think people are looking at.
  • BRobertson23
    BRobertson23 Posts: 150 Member
    I know that feeling of being self conscious around others while you are working out. Every so often I feel it (even now) after having lost over 40 pounds. It usually comes when I go out for runs, especially when the weather's nice and I see more people while I'm running. I'm not a quick runner and there are times when I feel like my breathing is wheezy, so I feel like I have internal dialogue that says "They're in such great shape! Bet they think 'Glad I'm not as weak/fat/whatever as her'." Is my thought rational? No. Are they thinking that? I have NO IDEA! What I HAVE noticed is that I will see these people on a regular basis or run past others and if I'm aware (not stuck in a zone), I see that they'll smile or nod or acknowledge me in a POSITIVE way. the fact of the matter is, most people who exercise on a regular basis UNDERSTAND what you're trying to achieve. They know that you're trying to better yourself and your health. More than likely, they are not judging you. However, if you keep getting STUCK in this mindset, start creating your own mantra or dialogue with YOURSELF that you are WORTH the effort and you WILL see results as you stay diligent and keeping working at it. Create a positive internal dialogue that will help you recognize that you don't need others' approval to exercise and that you are worthy of all the efforts and energies you are putting into your health. You can do it!!
  • SuseAndo26
    SuseAndo26 Posts: 54 Member
    It's hard to overcome those feelings, they might even always stay with you no matter how much you don't want them too.

    Just keep going, don't be deterred.

    You say you don't need motivation and that's half the battle right there!!!

    As more weight comes off the 'people looking' will see your results too and will either admire you, feel happy for you, not care or be jealous even.

    Use your self consciousness as more determination to keep going and to succeed!

    You're doing so great already, well done! :smiley:
  • gaelicstorm26
    gaelicstorm26 Posts: 589 Member
    Tomnev--yes, there is an Irish connection! We hope to one day travel to Ireland to County Donegal!

    Thanks again for the support guys.
  • fannyfrost
    fannyfrost Posts: 756 Member
    I didn't read the whole thread, but I am addressing the original question.

    I take Zumba and don't care what anyone thinks, but I have never had as much to lose as you. However, I see lots of larger women in class or at the gym and I am impressed that they are getting healthy and active. I have heard some rotten stuff about what people might say or do, but I say that life is too short to care about shallow small minded people. Get moving and have fun :)
  • DiSweating
    DiSweating Posts: 3 Member
    I also completely understand how you feel. I can't get my crap together, so I'm still over 300, but even despite participating in races and going to a gym regularly, when it comes to getting out and walking in public, I still feel like everyone is standing in their living room windows, pointing and laughing. Rationally, I know that no one cares, but the ideas are still there. I kind of treat it like exposure therapy, and just get out there and do what needs to get done, pushing those crazy pants embarrassed thoughts out of my head. Usually some sunglasses and good tunes in my ears help with it, too. I've gotten into the habit that when I see someone like me getting out there and making strides I'll give them a thumbs up from my window when I'm driving past. Good luck to you, you've got this.
  • dubird
    dubird Posts: 1,849 Member
    I can tell you from experience that while I do notice people when I walk, afterwards I couldn't tell you jack about them. Not even what they look like. So focus on your workout and what you're doing. That will help get your mind off other people and what they're thinking. Might also start listening to mp3s or books on tape. Or some kind of story app. Give your mind something to focus on, and it won't bug you nearly as much. That helped me a lot!
  • kat_princess12
    kat_princess12 Posts: 109 Member
    We are likely all too worried about what we look exercising to have any worry to spare about how you look exercising! For once, humanity's self-centeredness works in your favor.
  • HermioneDanger118
    HermioneDanger118 Posts: 345 Member
    Maybe you're motivating people in your neighborhood without realizing it!
  • amusedmonkey
    amusedmonkey Posts: 10,330 Member
    Do something similar to exposure therapy. First learn to relax by keeping your mind busy with nice things in these stressful situations, then just go out and do it. It will feel awkward, intimidating, and outright stressful at first, but if you keep it up these feelings will dull out gradually and you will gain control over the fear of embarrassment.

    You could do it gradually by starting exercising around close family members, then moving to some place that is relatively isolated...etc until you are comfortable around more people.
  • reshonne
    reshonne Posts: 13 Member
    Do you! I feel self conscience at times as well. Then I remind myself that I am doing this for ME! Who cares what other people think. Almost every week I meet someone who inspires me. We all are on our own journey!
  • katieduval24
    katieduval24 Posts: 2 Member
    I definitely understand where you're coming from. The thought of exercising in public is kind of horrifying to me because of my extra weight. For sure we should both just stick it to these judgee-bears but easier said than done.

    I've been doing cardio in the comfort of my own home. I've tried jump rope and doing stairs inside but my favorite is Dance Central! Granted you have to have/buy an XBOX, have/buy a Kinect and have/buy the game. But there's similar games for other systems as well. Can get as sweaty and out of breath as I want with no fear of judgment.
  • sofaking6
    sofaking6 Posts: 4,589 Member
    I remind myself that other people are going to think what they're going to think no matter what I do, and I have to live my life AS IF it didn't affect me.
  • tractorchck
    tractorchck Posts: 36 Member
    I was the same way but you have to remind yourself that you are the one living your life and not them so you have to do what's best for you. Who cares what they think. Opinions are like buttholes. Everyone has one and most stink. Lol. For real though I wouldn't worry because you are out their working and doing something about it.
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