FINALLY GOT A GIRLFRIEND!!

123468

Replies

  • DawnVanHaaften
    DawnVanHaaften Posts: 11 Member
    That was your confidence, not your looks.
    If it's because of your looks, then she's not worth more than.....

    I agree. When you find the right one...your having been scrawny or nerdy shouldn't matter. Soul mates are bound by more than physical attraction. But yes....those abs should help a little
  • DawnVanHaaften
    DawnVanHaaften Posts: 11 Member
    Congratulations. Your personality couldn't find you a good woman, so you managed to find someone who is more interested in your physique.

    50514_106660512697064_2240691_n.jpg

    Wow. That's harsh. I think his new physique is what gave him the confidence to approach someone. Ugh. Can't we just be happy for him?
  • JeremiahEarl
    JeremiahEarl Posts: 17 Member
    That was your confidence, not your looks.
    If it's because of your looks, then she's not worth more than.....

    I agree. When you find the right one...your having been scrawny or nerdy shouldn't matter. Soul mates are bound by more than physical attraction. But yes....those abs should help a little

    :D
  • JeremiahEarl
    JeremiahEarl Posts: 17 Member
    rabbitjb wrote: »
    rabbitjb wrote: »
    rabbitjb wrote: »
    rabbitjb wrote: »
    2. Be honest with yourself and your girlfriend at all times

    There are times when this advice is really, really bad...
    If one can't be honest with him or herself and the relationship, something is not right, in my opinion.

    I don't see speaking the truth in love as a bad thing at times. Granted, the truth may not always be received as we would like but, I think it is important to be honest with ourselves and the person we are dating or married to.

    Does my bum look big in this?
    You don't like my mother do you?

    I would be honest with both those questions.

    If one feels he or she can't be honest with his or her best friend, confidant, and lover, in any area of life, (no matter how small or big) that doesn't speak very highly of the relationship, in my opinion.

    Ok let me know how that works out for you :bigsmile:
    yopeeps025 wrote: »
    rabbitjb wrote: »
    rabbitjb wrote: »
    2. Be honest with yourself and your girlfriend at all times

    There are times when this advice is really, really bad...
    If one can't be honest with him or herself and the relationship, something is not right, in my opinion.

    I don't see speaking the truth in love as a bad thing at times. Granted, the truth may not always be received as we would like but, I think it is important to be honest with ourselves and the person we are dating or married to.

    Does my bum look big in this?
    You don't like my mother do you?

    For the first question there is a correct answer based on who you are dating.

    True dat

    Do you realize how insulting it is, and shows a total lack of respect for your partner, when he or she is rebuked for speaking the truth in love? Why would you want to reenforce the ideal, that you want your partner to lie to you when it is convenient and to your liking?

    Call me old fashioned but, I don't see advocating lying to someone you claim to care about as something that should be rationalized away much less applauded.

    Speaking the truth in love is not always easy nor is it always easy to hear when it is about you. I have been on both sides of the honest fence many, many times. I would rather my lady feel she can come to me with anything on her heart, than hear "I didn't think you would understand" (translated: I didn't think I could be honest with you, because I thought you were like every other guy).

    I know nothing of your relationship history but your profile states that you're still looking for "the one"

    Theoretically deep and complete honesty looks like the foundation of a solid relationship, and it is. And please appreciate that a lot of my comments are tomfoolery

    however I do believe there's a value in white lies on occasion and in all types of relationship because we are all human and in reality nobody wants that deep honest reaction to every single human interaction particularly when you live with someone for years and years and build a life together

    Examples would be pretending you're interested in something because it gives your partner pleasure, saying or doing stuff because it makes them feel good

    But Yes trust is important in relationships, as is integrity and honourable intentions


    So you are saying not being 100% honest 100% of the time?

  • Sued0nim
    Sued0nim Posts: 17,456 Member
    edited July 2015
    rabbitjb wrote: »
    rabbitjb wrote: »
    rabbitjb wrote: »
    rabbitjb wrote: »
    2. Be honest with yourself and your girlfriend at all times

    There are times when this advice is really, really bad...
    If one can't be honest with him or herself and the relationship, something is not right, in my opinion.

    I don't see speaking the truth in love as a bad thing at times. Granted, the truth may not always be received as we would like but, I think it is important to be honest with ourselves and the person we are dating or married to.

    Does my bum look big in this?
    You don't like my mother do you?

    I would be honest with both those questions.

    If one feels he or she can't be honest with his or her best friend, confidant, and lover, in any area of life, (no matter how small or big) that doesn't speak very highly of the relationship, in my opinion.

    Ok let me know how that works out for you :bigsmile:
    yopeeps025 wrote: »
    rabbitjb wrote: »
    rabbitjb wrote: »
    2. Be honest with yourself and your girlfriend at all times

    There are times when this advice is really, really bad...
    If one can't be honest with him or herself and the relationship, something is not right, in my opinion.

    I don't see speaking the truth in love as a bad thing at times. Granted, the truth may not always be received as we would like but, I think it is important to be honest with ourselves and the person we are dating or married to.

    Does my bum look big in this?
    You don't like my mother do you?

    For the first question there is a correct answer based on who you are dating.

    True dat

    Do you realize how insulting it is, and shows a total lack of respect for your partner, when he or she is rebuked for speaking the truth in love? Why would you want to reenforce the ideal, that you want your partner to lie to you when it is convenient and to your liking?

    Call me old fashioned but, I don't see advocating lying to someone you claim to care about as something that should be rationalized away much less applauded.

    Speaking the truth in love is not always easy nor is it always easy to hear when it is about you. I have been on both sides of the honest fence many, many times. I would rather my lady feel she can come to me with anything on her heart, than hear "I didn't think you would understand" (translated: I didn't think I could be honest with you, because I thought you were like every other guy).

    I know nothing of your relationship history but your profile states that you're still looking for "the one"

    Theoretically deep and complete honesty looks like the foundation of a solid relationship, and it is. And please appreciate that a lot of my comments are tomfoolery

    however I do believe there's a value in white lies on occasion and in all types of relationship because we are all human and in reality nobody wants that deep honest reaction to every single human interaction particularly when you live with someone for years and years and build a life together

    Examples would be pretending you're interested in something because it gives your partner pleasure, saying or doing stuff because it makes them feel good

    But Yes trust is important in relationships, as is integrity and honourable intentions


    So you are saying not being 100% honest 100% of the time?

    I'm saying he seems to have a literary romantic ideal in his head that doesn't equate to real life

    Big difference between a burgeoning relationship and old happily married people though

    Just enjoy yourself and don't over analyse or overthink it
  • Don_Alfredo
    Don_Alfredo Posts: 6 Member
    Protect your money and assets. Be the leader. Be aware of the red flags. Enjoy.
  • Samanthamill0616
    Samanthamill0616 Posts: 11 Member
    never speak to a person with less respect than you would have from your pastor, mentor, etc. If you respect a person first and she respects you back, then you go from there.
  • acorsaut89
    acorsaut89 Posts: 1,147 Member
    Just get the basics out of the way. How often can we have sex? What cleaning am I responsible for? What bills do I pay? Probably in that order. Everything else will work itself out.

    Ha ha ha . . . that escalated really quickly from just having a girlfriend to living together? lol maybe the right questions . . . maybe not - depends on who she is.

    However, the how often about sex part is probably decent just not in those words exactly . . .
  • AmysSucess
    AmysSucess Posts: 16 Member
    Hoppymom wrote: »
    How was your day? How can I help? What do you need from me? I'm on my way home do you need me to pick up anything on my way? she should be saying the same.

    PERFECT advice! A woman's dream.
  • BasicGreatGuy
    BasicGreatGuy Posts: 868 Member
    edited July 2015
    rabbitjb wrote: »
    rabbitjb wrote: »
    rabbitjb wrote: »
    rabbitjb wrote: »
    rabbitjb wrote: »
    2. Be honest with yourself and your girlfriend at all times

    There are times when this advice is really, really bad...
    If one can't be honest with him or herself and the relationship, something is not right, in my opinion.

    I don't see speaking the truth in love as a bad thing at times. Granted, the truth may not always be received as we would like but, I think it is important to be honest with ourselves and the person we are dating or married to.

    Does my bum look big in this?
    You don't like my mother do you?

    I would be honest with both those questions.

    If one feels he or she can't be honest with his or her best friend, confidant, and lover, in any area of life, (no matter how small or big) that doesn't speak very highly of the relationship, in my opinion.

    Ok let me know how that works out for you :bigsmile:
    yopeeps025 wrote: »
    rabbitjb wrote: »
    rabbitjb wrote: »
    2. Be honest with yourself and your girlfriend at all times

    There are times when this advice is really, really bad...
    If one can't be honest with him or herself and the relationship, something is not right, in my opinion.

    I don't see speaking the truth in love as a bad thing at times. Granted, the truth may not always be received as we would like but, I think it is important to be honest with ourselves and the person we are dating or married to.

    Does my bum look big in this?
    You don't like my mother do you?

    For the first question there is a correct answer based on who you are dating.

    True dat

    Do you realize how insulting it is, and shows a total lack of respect for your partner, when he or she is rebuked for speaking the truth in love? Why would you want to reenforce the ideal, that you want your partner to lie to you when it is convenient and to your liking?

    Call me old fashioned but, I don't see advocating lying to someone you claim to care about as something that should be rationalized away much less applauded.

    Speaking the truth in love is not always easy nor is it always easy to hear when it is about you. I have been on both sides of the honest fence many, many times. I would rather my lady feel she can come to me with anything on her heart, than hear "I didn't think you would understand" (translated: I didn't think I could be honest with you, because I thought you were like every other guy).

    I know nothing of your relationship history but your profile states that you're still looking for "the one"

    Theoretically deep and complete honesty looks like the foundation of a solid relationship, and it is. And please appreciate that a lot of my comments are tomfoolery

    however I do believe there's a value in white lies on occasion and in all types of relationship because we are all human and in reality nobody wants that deep honest reaction to every single human interaction particularly when you live with someone for years and years and build a life together

    Examples would be pretending you're interested in something because it gives your partner pleasure, saying or doing stuff because it makes them feel good

    But Yes trust is important in relationships, as is integrity and honourable intentions


    So you are saying not being 100% honest 100% of the time?

    I'm saying he seems to have a literary romantic ideal in his head that doesn't equate to real life

    Big difference between a burgeoning relationship and old happily married people though

    Just enjoy yourself and don't over analyse or overthink it

    Giving and expecting honesty from the lady I am with is not some literary ideal, in my opinion.

    I realize that as humans, we aren't perfect. Each one of us has our own imperfections and flaws. At the same time, I think it is important to expect the best from ourselves and not fall into the mindset of its ok to tell the one you love small lies, because after all, that is expected. It may have become the norm for many people. And if they are fine in their relationship with rationalizing away lying to their mate, that is between them and their partner.

    It doesn't matter whether a relationship is 6 months old or 26 years old. The length of a relationship should not determine how honest you are with someone, in my opinion.

    Why shouldn't I view honesty in a relationship as real life?

    In not so many words, you have basically told me that my thinking is not realistic or productive (re: the subject at hand). And though you can't find the error of my position, you seek to further dismiss what i have shared by inferring that old married life for you and those you know is the norm (read: honesty standard) If you are happy in your marriage, that is good. I don't think it is right to try and be insulting, just because you disagree with what i have shared.

    You aren't the first to tell me the kinds of things that you have.

    There is no such thing as the perfect relationship. I realize that. As I said, I am not perfect nor am I seeking perfection in a lady. What I do seek (every day) with myself and others, is honesty. And in my opinion, a lady who truly respects and loves me for the man I am, and am striving to be each day, should want to be honest with me. And if she feels she can't be honest with me in what she tells me, then there are problems in the relationship that need to be addressed, in my opinion.

    A relationship can be as fertile, strong, and alive with passion at 26 years, as it was in the beginning. It takes work by both people but it can be done. The same goes for honesty.
  • hmrambling
    hmrambling Posts: 321 Member
    Did you get a date with a girl? Or do you have an actual girlfriend? How do you have a girlfriend if you have not been asking questions/having conversations all along? How many dates have you guys had before you asked her to be your girlfriend?
  • Sued0nim
    Sued0nim Posts: 17,456 Member
    rabbitjb wrote: »
    rabbitjb wrote: »
    rabbitjb wrote: »
    rabbitjb wrote: »
    rabbitjb wrote: »
    2. Be honest with yourself and your girlfriend at all times

    There are times when this advice is really, really bad...
    If one can't be honest with him or herself and the relationship, something is not right, in my opinion.

    I don't see speaking the truth in love as a bad thing at times. Granted, the truth may not always be received as we would like but, I think it is important to be honest with ourselves and the person we are dating or married to.

    Does my bum look big in this?
    You don't like my mother do you?

    I would be honest with both those questions.

    If one feels he or she can't be honest with his or her best friend, confidant, and lover, in any area of life, (no matter how small or big) that doesn't speak very highly of the relationship, in my opinion.

    Ok let me know how that works out for you :bigsmile:
    yopeeps025 wrote: »
    rabbitjb wrote: »
    rabbitjb wrote: »
    2. Be honest with yourself and your girlfriend at all times

    There are times when this advice is really, really bad...
    If one can't be honest with him or herself and the relationship, something is not right, in my opinion.

    I don't see speaking the truth in love as a bad thing at times. Granted, the truth may not always be received as we would like but, I think it is important to be honest with ourselves and the person we are dating or married to.

    Does my bum look big in this?
    You don't like my mother do you?

    For the first question there is a correct answer based on who you are dating.

    True dat

    Do you realize how insulting it is, and shows a total lack of respect for your partner, when he or she is rebuked for speaking the truth in love? Why would you want to reenforce the ideal, that you want your partner to lie to you when it is convenient and to your liking?

    Call me old fashioned but, I don't see advocating lying to someone you claim to care about as something that should be rationalized away much less applauded.

    Speaking the truth in love is not always easy nor is it always easy to hear when it is about you. I have been on both sides of the honest fence many, many times. I would rather my lady feel she can come to me with anything on her heart, than hear "I didn't think you would understand" (translated: I didn't think I could be honest with you, because I thought you were like every other guy).

    I know nothing of your relationship history but your profile states that you're still looking for "the one"

    Theoretically deep and complete honesty looks like the foundation of a solid relationship, and it is. And please appreciate that a lot of my comments are tomfoolery

    however I do believe there's a value in white lies on occasion and in all types of relationship because we are all human and in reality nobody wants that deep honest reaction to every single human interaction particularly when you live with someone for years and years and build a life together

    Examples would be pretending you're interested in something because it gives your partner pleasure, saying or doing stuff because it makes them feel good

    But Yes trust is important in relationships, as is integrity and honourable intentions


    So you are saying not being 100% honest 100% of the time?

    I'm saying he seems to have a literary romantic ideal in his head that doesn't equate to real life

    Big difference between a burgeoning relationship and old happily married people though

    Just enjoy yourself and don't over analyse or overthink it

    Giving and expecting honesty from the lady I am with is not some literary ideal, in my opinion.

    I realize that as humans, we aren't perfect. Each one of us has our own imperfections and flaws. At the same time, I think it is important to expect the best from ourselves and not fall into the mindset of its ok to tell the one you love small lies, because after all, that is expected. It may have become the norm for many people. And if they are fine in their relationship with rationalizing away lying to their mate, that is between them and their partner.

    It doesn't matter whether a relationship is 6 months old or 26 years old. The length of a relationship should not determine how honest you are with someone, in my opinion.

    Why shouldn't I view honesty in a relationship as real life?

    In not so many words, you have basically told me that my thinking is not realistic or productive (re: the subject at hand). And though you can't find the error of my position, you seek to further dismiss what i have shared by inferring that old married life for you and those you know is the norm (read: honesty standard) If you are happy in your marriage, that is good. I don't think it is right to try and be insulting, just because you disagree with what i have shared.

    You aren't the first to tell me the kinds of things that you have.

    There is no such thing as the perfect relationship. I realize that. As I said, I am not perfect nor am I seeking perfection in a lady. What I do seek (every day) with myself and others, is honesty. And in my opinion, a lady who truly respects and loves me for the man I am, and am striving to be each day, should want to be honest with me. And if she feels she can't be honest with me in what she tells me, then there are problems in the relationship that need to be addressed, in my opinion.

    A relationship can be as fertile, strong, and alive with passion at 26 years, as it was in the beginning. It takes work by both people but it can be done. The same goes for honesty.

    Wow you take things seriously. I wonder if you ever make room for fun and lightheartedness?

    I didn't insult you but nice attempt to infer ill meaning where none was implied

    I am entitled to find your stated position naive and unrealistic ...that's a comment on the fallacy that it is possible to be completely honest 100% of the time and that being anything less is a relationship issue.

    I am entitled to my position on this as you are which of course I make from my understanding and experience of relationships. Yes I am very happily married and have been for a number of years...it's in my profile, not exactly hidden.


  • jennifer_417
    jennifer_417 Posts: 12,344 Member
    That was your confidence, not your looks.
    If it's because of your looks, then she's not worth more than.....

    How is going off "confidence" any better or different than "looks"? Its just as "shallow" as you are judging a "looks" girl as being.
    It's not the same at all. Having confidence is what enabled him to make his move in the 1st place. If losing weight is what gave him the confidence, then so be it.
    Having said that, I'd much rather be in a relationship with someone who has some confidence and self-esteem, because those without tend to sabotage relationships, whether they mean to or not.
  • jennifer_417
    jennifer_417 Posts: 12,344 Member
    Just remember women are crazy, all of them! They might hide it well but they are, maybe not stab you to death crazy but they will play mind games...ALL OF THEM!

    Because this guy personally knows every single woman on the face of the earth...
  • BasicGreatGuy
    BasicGreatGuy Posts: 868 Member
    rabbitjb wrote: »
    rabbitjb wrote: »
    rabbitjb wrote: »
    rabbitjb wrote: »
    rabbitjb wrote: »
    rabbitjb wrote: »
    2. Be honest with yourself and your girlfriend at all times

    There are times when this advice is really, really bad...
    If one can't be honest with him or herself and the relationship, something is not right, in my opinion.

    I don't see speaking the truth in love as a bad thing at times. Granted, the truth may not always be received as we would like but, I think it is important to be honest with ourselves and the person we are dating or married to.

    Does my bum look big in this?
    You don't like my mother do you?

    I would be honest with both those questions.

    If one feels he or she can't be honest with his or her best friend, confidant, and lover, in any area of life, (no matter how small or big) that doesn't speak very highly of the relationship, in my opinion.

    Ok let me know how that works out for you :bigsmile:
    yopeeps025 wrote: »
    rabbitjb wrote: »
    rabbitjb wrote: »
    2. Be honest with yourself and your girlfriend at all times

    There are times when this advice is really, really bad...
    If one can't be honest with him or herself and the relationship, something is not right, in my opinion.

    I don't see speaking the truth in love as a bad thing at times. Granted, the truth may not always be received as we would like but, I think it is important to be honest with ourselves and the person we are dating or married to.

    Does my bum look big in this?
    You don't like my mother do you?

    For the first question there is a correct answer based on who you are dating.

    True dat

    Do you realize how insulting it is, and shows a total lack of respect for your partner, when he or she is rebuked for speaking the truth in love? Why would you want to reenforce the ideal, that you want your partner to lie to you when it is convenient and to your liking?

    Call me old fashioned but, I don't see advocating lying to someone you claim to care about as something that should be rationalized away much less applauded.

    Speaking the truth in love is not always easy nor is it always easy to hear when it is about you. I have been on both sides of the honest fence many, many times. I would rather my lady feel she can come to me with anything on her heart, than hear "I didn't think you would understand" (translated: I didn't think I could be honest with you, because I thought you were like every other guy).

    I know nothing of your relationship history but your profile states that you're still looking for "the one"

    Theoretically deep and complete honesty looks like the foundation of a solid relationship, and it is. And please appreciate that a lot of my comments are tomfoolery

    however I do believe there's a value in white lies on occasion and in all types of relationship because we are all human and in reality nobody wants that deep honest reaction to every single human interaction particularly when you live with someone for years and years and build a life together

    Examples would be pretending you're interested in something because it gives your partner pleasure, saying or doing stuff because it makes them feel good

    But Yes trust is important in relationships, as is integrity and honourable intentions


    So you are saying not being 100% honest 100% of the time?

    I'm saying he seems to have a literary romantic ideal in his head that doesn't equate to real life

    Big difference between a burgeoning relationship and old happily married people though

    Just enjoy yourself and don't over analyse or overthink it

    Giving and expecting honesty from the lady I am with is not some literary ideal, in my opinion.

    I realize that as humans, we aren't perfect. Each one of us has our own imperfections and flaws. At the same time, I think it is important to expect the best from ourselves and not fall into the mindset of its ok to tell the one you love small lies, because after all, that is expected. It may have become the norm for many people. And if they are fine in their relationship with rationalizing away lying to their mate, that is between them and their partner.

    It doesn't matter whether a relationship is 6 months old or 26 years old. The length of a relationship should not determine how honest you are with someone, in my opinion.

    Why shouldn't I view honesty in a relationship as real life?

    In not so many words, you have basically told me that my thinking is not realistic or productive (re: the subject at hand). And though you can't find the error of my position, you seek to further dismiss what i have shared by inferring that old married life for you and those you know is the norm (read: honesty standard) If you are happy in your marriage, that is good. I don't think it is right to try and be insulting, just because you disagree with what i have shared.

    You aren't the first to tell me the kinds of things that you have.

    There is no such thing as the perfect relationship. I realize that. As I said, I am not perfect nor am I seeking perfection in a lady. What I do seek (every day) with myself and others, is honesty. And in my opinion, a lady who truly respects and loves me for the man I am, and am striving to be each day, should want to be honest with me. And if she feels she can't be honest with me in what she tells me, then there are problems in the relationship that need to be addressed, in my opinion.

    A relationship can be as fertile, strong, and alive with passion at 26 years, as it was in the beginning. It takes work by both people but it can be done. The same goes for honesty.

    Wow you take things seriously. I wonder if you ever make room for fun and lightheartedness?

    I didn't insult you but nice attempt to infer ill meaning where none was implied

    I am entitled to find your stated position naive and unrealistic ...that's a comment on the fallacy that it is possible to be completely honest 100% of the time and that being anything less is a relationship issue.

    I am entitled to my position on this as you are which of course I make from my understanding and experience of relationships. Yes I am very happily married and have been for a number of years...it's in my profile, not exactly hidden.

    I know how to laugh and have fun. But when it comes to relationships and the issue you brought up with me, I take it seriously.

    You may not have meant anything insulting by your comments, but all I had to go on is what you typed, which may not have accurately conveyed your meaning and personality to me, since I don't know you, and only have what you have posted to rely upon.

    I see no need to dwell on this further. We will have to agree to disagree on this subject. Maybe we will find agreement in something else down the road.
  • cjcool88
    cjcool88 Posts: 188 Member
    Congrats!!!!
  • LiftAllThePizzas
    LiftAllThePizzas Posts: 17,857 Member
    "Would you like some more wine?"
  • senecarr
    senecarr Posts: 5,377 Member
    Just get the basics out of the way. How often can we have sex? What cleaning am I responsible for? What bills do I pay? Probably in that order. Everything else will work itself out.

    Now if she's asking the first question, I'm probably flexible on answers for the second two.
  • BWBTrish
    BWBTrish Posts: 2,817 Member
    Don't try to change her....
    Like she shouldnt try to change you
  • cristical
    cristical Posts: 126 Member
    "Would you like some more wine?"

    Ohh, a good one!

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