Stopping Junk Food From Coming in my House

Jruzer wrote: »

I'm going to be a little contrary here.

Of course it is the husband's house too, and he has the right to have whatever foodstuffs he wants in the house. And certainly OP is going to have to learn with temptation. No question on either of these.

That said, I would jump on a grenade for Mrs Jruzer. So if she asked me to stop bringing certain foods into the house, I would do that out of love for her. I would certainly work with her to come up with a long-term plan that we could both live with, but there's no way I would just ignore her request. Marriage should be about loving compromise in cases like this.

Okay, two things. I can't count how many times I've read or heard "if you have a problem with whateverfoodstuff, keep it out of your home." This is standard, beginner level, easy mode diet advice, so I don't understand why everyone keeps acting like this is an unreasonable request on her part or keeps telling her to be an adult when she IS being an adult.

Two, glad Mr. Irons and I aren't alone in this. Yes, you're an adult and it's his house too, but the way my boyfriend and I look at it is that we're a TEAM and if we can do something to make a difficult task easier on each other we can and do.

While the basics of my diet have always been healthy, I know all about the self control struggle and so does he. A while back he was told he is pre-diabetic, and together we quit bringing sweets into the house and I quit baking (a stress release for me, but he has the BIGGEST sweet tooth) until he got it under control. Then I realized that I've gained back half the weight I previously lost, and he quit buying food I like to snack on and stress eat. It doesn't even have to be forever, we've found that after going ham on our diet for a few weeks we break problem habits with food and can easily resist temptations or indulge in moderation.

You and your husband are a TEAM. Your success is his success, and he should be doing what he can -within reason- to ensure your success. If you have a problem around junk food, it is a reasonable request to ask him NOT to bring it home or at the very least hide it. If he can't do that for you in the time it takes for you to break bad habits and associations, perhaps he has a problem too.

Sorry for the fkdsafds of this post, currently playing nap police.

I live with my husband and two kids. I don't deny any of them their treats. Yes you may try keeping them in a cabinet instead of on the counter where you have to look at them each time you pass through the kitchen, but just because you don't want to eat chips, crackers and candy doesn't mean they need to not have it around.
Yes I limit the "junk" my kids have available and keep healthy things such as fruit, cut up veggies, string cheese yogurt and popcorn available for snacks, but we also keep a few treats around as well. These are kept in the pantry not out in plain sight. That way everyone has to make the effort to get them since they aren't just there to grab on the counter.
Yes we have a child that will eat his entire week's worth of treats in the first 24 hours after we get home from the grocery store so then he has to eat the healthy snacks when he's feeling snacky. Let's just say he eats alot of fruit and popcorn. lol

cindyangotti wrote: »

The selfishness I am reading here is ridiculous. If any person I cared about came to me and asked for my support in anything they were trying to do to improve themselves I would give it in a heartbeat. I love them and want the best for them and wouldn't dream of hindering their success just to please myself. I can't even imagine me saying "sorry, this is your problem, not mine. You deal with your issues on your own because my poptart is more important to me than you." Thank God the people in my family are not like that!

When my mom was diagnosed with diabetes when I was a teenager, I stopped bringing home junk. if I had a partner with medical issues, I would stop eating the foods they couldn't. But OP is making a new lifestyle choice and insisting her partner get on board. How is THAT not selfish? Especially when there is an easy compromise suggested by many above.

Incidentally, I have never stopped anyone from eating shellfish around me, and that's a food I have a legitimate health issue with. I won't get to eat crab again, but that doesn't mean my loved ones can't. (As long as no one tries to kiss me.)

cindyangotti wrote: »

The selfishness I am reading here is ridiculous. If any person I cared about came to me and asked for my support in anything they were trying to do to improve themselves I would give it in a heartbeat. I love them and want the best for them and wouldn't dream of hindering their success just to please myself. I can't even imagine me saying "sorry, this is your problem, not mine. You deal with your issues on your own because my poptart is more important to me than you." Thank God the people in my family are not like that!

I don't know how it's selfish to advocate person A being allowed to eat and live their life as they see fit and not have their diet and life dictated to them by person B. Seems opposite to me.

bennettinfinity wrote: »

cindyangotti wrote: »

The selfishness I am reading here is ridiculous. If any person I cared about came to me and asked for my support in anything they were trying to do to improve themselves I would give it in a heartbeat. I love them and want the best for them and wouldn't dream of hindering their success just to please myself. I can't even imagine me saying "sorry, this is your problem, not mine. You deal with your issues on your own because my poptart is more important to me than you." Thank God the people in my family are not like that!

Sincere question: how is it selfish for the husband to not make sacrifices in support of his wife's endeavors and not selfish for the wife to ask the husband to make the sacrifices?

She needs help, he helps her. When he needs help, she helps him.

These are not children who stomp their feet and yell, "It's not fair!" and demand their way until a parent comes in and settles the matter.

These are adults who live together and care about each other. That means there will be compromises in lots and lots of things.

It's not about who is right. It's about two people with different desires finding a way to be happy together.

i'm with your hubby. it's his home as much as it is yours, and it's disrespectful of you to demand this of him.

maybe if you keep his 'sin' food in a separate cupboard, or in an opaque tub in the fridge, and vow never to even open his. out of sight might help.

cindyangotti wrote: »

The selfishness I am reading here is ridiculous. If any person I cared about came to me and asked for my support in anything they were trying to do to improve themselves I would give it in a heartbeat. I love them and want the best for them and wouldn't dream of hindering their success just to please myself. I can't even imagine me saying "sorry, this is your problem, not mine. You deal with your issues on your own because my poptart is more important to me than you." Thank God the people in my family are not like that!

The point is you only have power to control your own actions. OP is asking how to get her husband to do what she wants him to do.

If her husband was asking the question: Should I stop bringing sweets in the house or keep eating them in front of my dieting wife who is struggling? The answers might be different.

What help is it to say "Yeah, your husband should blah blah blah and support you!" to his wife? All that is occurring in that scenario is talking crap about her man with her. Nothing productive. What can she do with that? Go to him and say "On the forums everyone agrees with me that you need to be better than you are, so there!"

Kalikel wrote: »

bennettinfinity wrote: »

cindyangotti wrote: »

The selfishness I am reading here is ridiculous. If any person I cared about came to me and asked for my support in anything they were trying to do to improve themselves I would give it in a heartbeat. I love them and want the best for them and wouldn't dream of hindering their success just to please myself. I can't even imagine me saying "sorry, this is your problem, not mine. You deal with your issues on your own because my poptart is more important to me than you." Thank God the people in my family are not like that!

Sincere question: how is it selfish for the husband to not make sacrifices in support of his wife's endeavors and not selfish for the wife to ask the husband to make the sacrifices?

She needs help, he helps her. When he needs help, she helps him.

These are not children who stomp their feet and yell, "It's not fair!" and demand their way until a parent comes in and settles the matter.

These are adults who live together and care about each other. That means there will be compromises in lots and lots of things.

It's not about who is right. It's about two people with different desires finding a way to be happy together.

See bolded, because there's where I went wrong apparently. I thought adults made their own decisions.

Conditional prediction: if wife is successful in getting hubby to play along, we see a new post: 'SABOTAGE: How do I get my co-workers to stop bringing in treats?'

I don't think it's unreasonable to ask a spouse to put their treats in a cupboard so it's out of sight. It's actually a nice way to train yourself to resist treats in general if you have a period of a few weeks where it's out of sight. Willpower is a skill which needs practice, but you don't want to set yourself up for failure.

Equally, expecting your spouse to actually put their treats in a cupboard might take a bit of explaining.

Why are you losing weight? Is it so you are healthier, and can therefore have a longer, more active life together with your family? If so, tell them that. Explaining your ultimate goals for doing what you're doing can really help people get behind you in practical ways.

I never asked DH to give up his treats, but I told DH that I was losing the weight because I want to live together with him until I'm 100 and be fit enough and well enough to go on hiking vacations with him around the world and look after him and myself independently until I'm very old. And I want to do that because I love him. After explaining that, not only did he put his treats in a cupboard, but he also decided by himself to just stop eating them, because he wants that too.

I'd ask him to keep it in a locked cabinet for which I don't have a key. You can change your ways and just eat the junk, but if you don't want to eat the junk and have trouble controlling your urges there is nothing wrong wth removing the temptation. Lock that crap away.