Stopping Junk Food From Coming in my House
Replies
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i'm with your hubby. it's his home as much as it is yours, and it's disrespectful of you to demand this of him.
maybe if you keep his 'sin' food in a separate cupboard, or in an opaque tub in the fridge, and vow never to even open his. out of sight might help.0 -
Even though I tell my husband to stop buying junk food, etc. Pop tarts, chips, sugary cereal he still does. If it is in the house I eventually cave and give in and eat it. I have had this conversation with him many times and he says he does support me and that I should be able to resist the foods.
He's right.I don't know how to make it so clear to him it has to stop.
You can't. Nor, frankly, do you have a right to.Please give me some suggestions to stop my husband from bringing junk food in the housr.
Find some discipline for yourself, and it won't be an issue anymore.
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cindyangotti wrote: »The selfishness I am reading here is ridiculous. If any person I cared about came to me and asked for my support in anything they were trying to do to improve themselves I would give it in a heartbeat. I love them and want the best for them and wouldn't dream of hindering their success just to please myself. I can't even imagine me saying "sorry, this is your problem, not mine. You deal with your issues on your own because my poptart is more important to me than you." Thank God the people in my family are not like that!
The point is you only have power to control your own actions. OP is asking how to get her husband to do what she wants him to do.
If her husband was asking the question: Should I stop bringing sweets in the house or keep eating them in front of my dieting wife who is struggling? The answers might be different.
What help is it to say "Yeah, your husband should blah blah blah and support you!" to his wife? All that is occurring in that scenario is talking crap about her man with her. Nothing productive. What can she do with that? Go to him and say "On the forums everyone agrees with me that you need to be better than you are, so there!"
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She needs help, he helps her. When he needs help, she helps him.bennettinfinity wrote: »cindyangotti wrote: »The selfishness I am reading here is ridiculous. If any person I cared about came to me and asked for my support in anything they were trying to do to improve themselves I would give it in a heartbeat. I love them and want the best for them and wouldn't dream of hindering their success just to please myself. I can't even imagine me saying "sorry, this is your problem, not mine. You deal with your issues on your own because my poptart is more important to me than you." Thank God the people in my family are not like that!
Sincere question: how is it selfish for the husband to not make sacrifices in support of his wife's endeavors and not selfish for the wife to ask the husband to make the sacrifices?
These are not children who stomp their feet and yell, "It's not fair!" and demand their way until a parent comes in and settles the matter.
These are adults who live together and care about each other. That means there will be compromises in lots and lots of things.
It's not about who is right. It's about two people with different desires finding a way to be happy together.
so because the wife wants to go on a diet that the means that the husband can't enjoy the foods he likes in the comfort of his own home?
That is not a supportive environment, that is a dictatorship where the wife controls everything the husband does.0 -
She needs help, he helps her. When he needs help, she helps him.bennettinfinity wrote: »cindyangotti wrote: »The selfishness I am reading here is ridiculous. If any person I cared about came to me and asked for my support in anything they were trying to do to improve themselves I would give it in a heartbeat. I love them and want the best for them and wouldn't dream of hindering their success just to please myself. I can't even imagine me saying "sorry, this is your problem, not mine. You deal with your issues on your own because my poptart is more important to me than you." Thank God the people in my family are not like that!
Sincere question: how is it selfish for the husband to not make sacrifices in support of his wife's endeavors and not selfish for the wife to ask the husband to make the sacrifices?
These are not children who stomp their feet and yell, "It's not fair!" and demand their way until a parent comes in and settles the matter.
These are adults who live together and care about each other. That means there will be compromises in lots and lots of things.
It's not about who is right. It's about two people with different desires finding a way to be happy together.
See bolded, because there's where I went wrong apparently. I thought adults made their own decisions.
Conditional prediction: if wife is successful in getting hubby to play along, we see a new post: 'SABOTAGE: How do I get my co-workers to stop bringing in treats?'0 -
Lourdesong wrote: »cindyangotti wrote: »The selfishness I am reading here is ridiculous. If any person I cared about came to me and asked for my support in anything they were trying to do to improve themselves I would give it in a heartbeat. I love them and want the best for them and wouldn't dream of hindering their success just to please myself. I can't even imagine me saying "sorry, this is your problem, not mine. You deal with your issues on your own because my poptart is more important to me than you." Thank God the people in my family are not like that!
The point is you only have power to control your own actions. OP is asking how to get her husband to do what she wants him to do.
If her husband was asking the question: Should I stop bringing sweets in the house or keep eating them in front of my dieting wife who is struggling? The answers might be different.
What help is it to say "Yeah, your husband should blah blah blah and support you!" to his wife? All that is occurring in that scenario is talking crap about her man with her. Nothing productive. What can she do with that? Go to him and say "On the forums everyone agrees with me that you need to be better than you are, so there!"
+1 because truth.0 -
I don't think it's unreasonable to ask a spouse to put their treats in a cupboard so it's out of sight. It's actually a nice way to train yourself to resist treats in general if you have a period of a few weeks where it's out of sight. Willpower is a skill which needs practice, but you don't want to set yourself up for failure.
Equally, expecting your spouse to actually put their treats in a cupboard might take a bit of explaining.
Why are you losing weight? Is it so you are healthier, and can therefore have a longer, more active life together with your family? If so, tell them that. Explaining your ultimate goals for doing what you're doing can really help people get behind you in practical ways.
I never asked DH to give up his treats, but I told DH that I was losing the weight because I want to live together with him until I'm 100 and be fit enough and well enough to go on hiking vacations with him around the world and look after him and myself independently until I'm very old. And I want to do that because I love him. After explaining that, not only did he put his treats in a cupboard, but he also decided by himself to just stop eating them, because he wants that too.0 -
I never realized that compromise can be such a difficult concept.0
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I'd ask him to keep it in a locked cabinet for which I don't have a key. You can change your ways and just eat the junk, but if you don't want to eat the junk and have trouble controlling your urges there is nothing wrong wth removing the temptation. Lock that crap away.0
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If OP was able to control her eating she wouldn't be overweight. Maybe after she experiences some success she'll become stronger around junk but that type of discipline takes time.
I just don't get you people who think she is asking too much from her husband by asking for his support in the way she needs it. He thinks he is helping her because there are temptations at the mall and parties and restaurants? Those types of temptations are far different then having them inside my home. He can eat his junk just keep it out of her sight and don't chow down on it right in front of her.
My family doesn't have that "ME ME ME" mentality. We would do ANYTHING for each other and when I needed support in losing my weight I got it with no problem and I am thankful they were there for me in the way I needed them to be.
Good Luck OP. It will be much harder without a good support system but you can still do it.0 -
cindyangotti wrote: »If OP was able to control her eating she wouldn't be overweight. Maybe after she experiences some success she'll become stronger around junk but that type of discipline takes time.
I just don't get you people who think she is asking too much from her husband by asking for his support in the way she needs it. He thinks he is helping her because there are temptations at the mall and parties and restaurants? Those types of temptations are far different then having them inside my home. He can eat his junk just keep it out of her sight and don't chow down on it right in front of her.
My family doesn't have that "ME ME ME" mentality. We would do ANYTHING for each other and when I needed support in losing my weight I got it with no problem and I am thankful they were there for me in the way I needed them to be.
OP never said he eats it in front of her. OP's complaint was him buying it and keeping it in the house, which they both EQUALLY live in.0 -
cindyangotti wrote: »If OP was able to control her eating she wouldn't be overweight. Maybe after she experiences some success she'll become stronger around junk but that type of discipline takes time.
I just don't get you people who think she is asking too much from her husband by asking for his support in the way she needs it. He thinks he is helping her because there are temptations at the mall and parties and restaurants? Those types of temptations are far different then having them inside my home. He can eat his junk just keep it out of her sight and don't chow down on it right in front of her.
My family doesn't have that "ME ME ME" mentality. We would do ANYTHING for each other and when I needed support in losing my weight I got it with no problem and I am thankful they were there for me in the way I needed them to be.
I agree with this. In my family we don't expect to be treated the same by family as by strangers. Support is expected and received. My husband hides things I don't want to be tempted with but he wants on hand. He didn't argue at all when I asked him to hide the Reese cups. Rolled his eyes, maybe, but no argument.0 -
Need2Exerc1se wrote: »cindyangotti wrote: »If OP was able to control her eating she wouldn't be overweight. Maybe after she experiences some success she'll become stronger around junk but that type of discipline takes time.
I just don't get you people who think she is asking too much from her husband by asking for his support in the way she needs it. He thinks he is helping her because there are temptations at the mall and parties and restaurants? Those types of temptations are far different then having them inside my home. He can eat his junk just keep it out of her sight and don't chow down on it right in front of her.
My family doesn't have that "ME ME ME" mentality. We would do ANYTHING for each other and when I needed support in losing my weight I got it with no problem and I am thankful they were there for me in the way I needed them to be.
I agree with this. In my family we don't expect to be treated the same by family as by strangers. Support is expected and received. My husband hides things I don't want to be tempted with but he wants on hand. He didn't argue at all when I asked him to hide the Reese cups. Rolled his eyes, maybe, but no argument.
That's awesome that you both have such support. What would you do if you didn't? What if your husband did make an argument, what then? Is your success or failure contingent on his behavior? What if someone doesn't cooperate with what you say you need, how would you navigate in such a world?
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Lourdesong wrote: »Need2Exerc1se wrote: »cindyangotti wrote: »If OP was able to control her eating she wouldn't be overweight. Maybe after she experiences some success she'll become stronger around junk but that type of discipline takes time.
I just don't get you people who think she is asking too much from her husband by asking for his support in the way she needs it. He thinks he is helping her because there are temptations at the mall and parties and restaurants? Those types of temptations are far different then having them inside my home. He can eat his junk just keep it out of her sight and don't chow down on it right in front of her.
My family doesn't have that "ME ME ME" mentality. We would do ANYTHING for each other and when I needed support in losing my weight I got it with no problem and I am thankful they were there for me in the way I needed them to be.
I agree with this. In my family we don't expect to be treated the same by family as by strangers. Support is expected and received. My husband hides things I don't want to be tempted with but he wants on hand. He didn't argue at all when I asked him to hide the Reese cups. Rolled his eyes, maybe, but no argument.
That's awesome that you both have such support. What would you do if you didn't? What if your husband did make an argument, what then? Is your success or failure contingent on his behavior? What if someone doesn't cooperate with what you say you need, how would you navigate in such a world?
I honestly don't know. I can't imagine that happening in my own home. That's not the way my family works and not the kind of man I married. Maybe I'd stop putting his tools back in their designated spot.
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reading some of this makes me so glad i'm a committed singleton. I put whatever I want in my fridge... though chances are the kids will eat it before I have a chance to.0
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In this case, as in so many similar posts, I'd be very interested in hearing from the husband in his own words. OP does say that he thinks he is supportive.
What might he say in rebuttal?0 -
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UltimateRBF wrote: »UltimateRBF wrote: »He should be supportive and not buy so much junk. In fact, he should stop eating it himself.If you are a food addict and can't stay away from your trigger foods, my opinion is that the household HAS to help you through this.
I am a food addict. My hubby loves junk food and lots of it, so I gave him my list of my 5 trigger foods that simply can't be in my house. If they are, he has to lock them in a briefcase that I don't know the combination. On the occasion he leaves them out, I told him that I must throw them away. It's just too difficult for me to be tempted. I gotta make ONE place in my life that's my safety zone. At work, I'm tortured with goodies and junk all day, every day.
If you had a drug addict or an alcoholic for a spouse or child, would you torture them with putting their drug in the house? I would think not.
Addicts need all the support we can get. We have to eat 3 times a day, every day and it's a challenge just to get through that some days. It's NOT just the addict's issue alone.
Your friendly dietitian
Jenn
hahaha
NO
I would like to know what part of this reply was against the TOS and as such was deemed flag worthy by someone...
I don't know who clicked it, but the "hahaha" comes off like you're laughing at the person, which is beyond rude and into insulting. Since you asked.0 -
Will you please stop with the "So"s. Nobody said that. You're making leaps of logic that are the kind of logic that...well, isn't logical.
She needs help, he helps her. When he needs help, she helps him.bennettinfinity wrote: »cindyangotti wrote: »The selfishness I am reading here is ridiculous. If any person I cared about came to me and asked for my support in anything they were trying to do to improve themselves I would give it in a heartbeat. I love them and want the best for them and wouldn't dream of hindering their success just to please myself. I can't even imagine me saying "sorry, this is your problem, not mine. You deal with your issues on your own because my poptart is more important to me than you." Thank God the people in my family are not like that!
Sincere question: how is it selfish for the husband to not make sacrifices in support of his wife's endeavors and not selfish for the wife to ask the husband to make the sacrifices?
These are not children who stomp their feet and yell, "It's not fair!" and demand their way until a parent comes in and settles the matter.
These are adults who live together and care about each other. That means there will be compromises in lots and lots of things.
It's not about who is right. It's about two people with different desires finding a way to be happy together.
so because the wife wants to go on a diet that the means that the husband can't enjoy the foods he likes in the comfort of his own home?
That is not a supportive environment, that is a dictatorship where the wife controls everything the husband does.
I get it. You don't think her husband should be asked to compromise. I disagree. We aren't going to agree, so we will just have to live with disagreeing again. I know it's okay by me and will trust that you're okay with it, too.
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UltimateRBF wrote: »UltimateRBF wrote: »UltimateRBF wrote: »He should be supportive and not buy so much junk. In fact, he should stop eating it himself.If you are a food addict and can't stay away from your trigger foods, my opinion is that the household HAS to help you through this.
I am a food addict. My hubby loves junk food and lots of it, so I gave him my list of my 5 trigger foods that simply can't be in my house. If they are, he has to lock them in a briefcase that I don't know the combination. On the occasion he leaves them out, I told him that I must throw them away. It's just too difficult for me to be tempted. I gotta make ONE place in my life that's my safety zone. At work, I'm tortured with goodies and junk all day, every day.
If you had a drug addict or an alcoholic for a spouse or child, would you torture them with putting their drug in the house? I would think not.
Addicts need all the support we can get. We have to eat 3 times a day, every day and it's a challenge just to get through that some days. It's NOT just the addict's issue alone.
Your friendly dietitian
Jenn
hahaha
NO
I would like to know what part of this reply was against the TOS and as such was deemed flag worthy by someone...
I don't know who clicked it, but the "hahaha" comes off like you're laughing at the person, which is beyond rude and into insulting. Since you asked.
I was laughing at the statement, which is fairly obvious
Not to the person who flagged you0 -
I keep all my kids' junk food in one cabinet so that it's out of sight. It's up to me to stay out of it.0
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UltimateRBF wrote: »UltimateRBF wrote: »He should be supportive and not buy so much junk. In fact, he should stop eating it himself.If you are a food addict and can't stay away from your trigger foods, my opinion is that the household HAS to help you through this.
I am a food addict. My hubby loves junk food and lots of it, so I gave him my list of my 5 trigger foods that simply can't be in my house. If they are, he has to lock them in a briefcase that I don't know the combination. On the occasion he leaves them out, I told him that I must throw them away. It's just too difficult for me to be tempted. I gotta make ONE place in my life that's my safety zone. At work, I'm tortured with goodies and junk all day, every day.
If you had a drug addict or an alcoholic for a spouse or child, would you torture them with putting their drug in the house? I would think not.
Addicts need all the support we can get. We have to eat 3 times a day, every day and it's a challenge just to get through that some days. It's NOT just the addict's issue alone.
Your friendly dietitian
Jenn
hahaha
NO
I would like to know what part of this reply was against the TOS and as such was deemed flag worthy by someone...
I don't know who clicked it, but the "hahaha" comes off like you're laughing at the person, which is beyond rude and into insulting. Since you asked.
Yes, but the abuse flag is reserved for hate speech and pornography. So, definitely not worthy of a flag.0 -
I didn't make the abuse flag, but felt the same way about it.UltimateRBF wrote: »UltimateRBF wrote: »UltimateRBF wrote: »He should be supportive and not buy so much junk. In fact, he should stop eating it himself.If you are a food addict and can't stay away from your trigger foods, my opinion is that the household HAS to help you through this.
I am a food addict. My hubby loves junk food and lots of it, so I gave him my list of my 5 trigger foods that simply can't be in my house. If they are, he has to lock them in a briefcase that I don't know the combination. On the occasion he leaves them out, I told him that I must throw them away. It's just too difficult for me to be tempted. I gotta make ONE place in my life that's my safety zone. At work, I'm tortured with goodies and junk all day, every day.
If you had a drug addict or an alcoholic for a spouse or child, would you torture them with putting their drug in the house? I would think not.
Addicts need all the support we can get. We have to eat 3 times a day, every day and it's a challenge just to get through that some days. It's NOT just the addict's issue alone.
Your friendly dietitian
Jenn
hahaha
NO
I would like to know what part of this reply was against the TOS and as such was deemed flag worthy by someone...
I don't know who clicked it, but the "hahaha" comes off like you're laughing at the person, which is beyond rude and into insulting. Since you asked.
I was laughing at the statement, which is fairly obvious
The "hahaha" thing...it is not disagreement. It's not anything, really, but rude and insulting. It's saying, "Look at me, I'm laughing at you" and that's pretty much all it says.
So, my guess is that is why whoever flagged it as abuse (or spam, I didn't look) flagged it. They didn't think to use the "Report" feature, which is how it should've been reported. Maybe next time, they will.
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cindyangotti wrote: »If OP was able to control her eating she wouldn't be overweight. Maybe after she experiences some success she'll become stronger around junk but that type of discipline takes time.
I just don't get you people who think she is asking too much from her husband by asking for his support in the way she needs it. He thinks he is helping her because there are temptations at the mall and parties and restaurants? Those types of temptations are far different then having them inside my home. He can eat his junk just keep it out of her sight and don't chow down on it right in front of her.
My family doesn't have that "ME ME ME" mentality. We would do ANYTHING for each other and when I needed support in losing my weight I got it with no problem and I am thankful they were there for me in the way I needed them to be.
Good Luck OP. It will be much harder without a good support system but you can still do it.
Nonsense. It only takes 117 extra calories a day to put on a pound a month, and it's easy to let the pounds pile on. Besides, some people gain weight when taking medication that sharply increases hunger or decreases BMR.
My family also doesn't have a ME ME ME mentality. Not that I would ever ask my family to give up the foods they love because I'm neither selfish nor do I lack self-control. I'm sorry that you and apparently others on here give food that kind of power and I sincerely hope you get the psychological help that you clearly need.
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I'll admit that I only mostly skimmed the responses but two things:
1) OP: Is your deficit too large? I know when I am feeling less in control, I'll bump it to half a pound a week. It allows more wiggle room and when I feel that I can rededicate myself to a bigger deficit, I do. It does take longer overall, but I never feel like food is controlling me.
2) This:In this case, as in so many similar posts, I'd be very interested in hearing from the husband in his own words. OP does say that he thinks he is supportive.
What might he say in rebuttal?
I do wonder how he would respond to the accusations of not being supportive.
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I didn't make the abuse flag, but felt the same way about it.UltimateRBF wrote: »UltimateRBF wrote: »UltimateRBF wrote: »He should be supportive and not buy so much junk. In fact, he should stop eating it himself.If you are a food addict and can't stay away from your trigger foods, my opinion is that the household HAS to help you through this.
I am a food addict. My hubby loves junk food and lots of it, so I gave him my list of my 5 trigger foods that simply can't be in my house. If they are, he has to lock them in a briefcase that I don't know the combination. On the occasion he leaves them out, I told him that I must throw them away. It's just too difficult for me to be tempted. I gotta make ONE place in my life that's my safety zone. At work, I'm tortured with goodies and junk all day, every day.
If you had a drug addict or an alcoholic for a spouse or child, would you torture them with putting their drug in the house? I would think not.
Addicts need all the support we can get. We have to eat 3 times a day, every day and it's a challenge just to get through that some days. It's NOT just the addict's issue alone.
Your friendly dietitian
Jenn
hahaha
NO
I would like to know what part of this reply was against the TOS and as such was deemed flag worthy by someone...
I don't know who clicked it, but the "hahaha" comes off like you're laughing at the person, which is beyond rude and into insulting. Since you asked.
I was laughing at the statement, which is fairly obvious
The "hahaha" thing...it is not disagreement. It's not anything, really, but rude and insulting. It's saying, "Look at me, I'm laughing at you" and that's pretty much all it says.
So, my guess is that is why whoever flagged it as abuse (or spam, I didn't look) flagged it. They didn't think to use the "Report" feature, which is how it should've been reported. Maybe next time, they will.
This post is as unhelpful to the OP as that one so
Wait, now this post is unhelpful. Time for memes.
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This discussion has been closed.
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