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Have you ever cheated

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Replies

  • asianfashionista86
    asianfashionista86 Posts: 5,039 Member
    jaxass wrote: »
    Cheating? What constitutes cheating? I messed with all sorts of women when I was in HS and allegedly had a girlfriend. However, I did NOT make a long-term commitment to her at all.

    When I was in college, I never once turned my attention to another while I was with one. When I got married...NEVER! Once that commitment is made, it's made.

    Now that I'm single again, I make it clear to the women I see that I am not interested in a relationship so they know what to expect.

    You're a bad boy now naughty naughty
  • wolfsbayne
    wolfsbayne Posts: 3,116 Member
    MireyGal76 wrote: »
    finny11122 wrote: »
    A bit of innocent flirting and playful banter is not cheating.
    There is nothing wrong with complementing someone on how good they look or how sexy they are. Its nice to be nice and have abit of playful fun.
    That phrase emotional cheating is pretty stupid to say the least.

    Actually, having cheated physically, I don't agree with you. Why? Because it started out as an emotional connection. I couldn't connect with my husband, lord knows I tried. I'm sure he did too. But I began to feel appreciated emotionally (mentally and intellectually too) by a male co-worker. And started becoming very aware of what I was missing in my marriage. I became very emotionally connected to this guy... (as a friend at first, no hidden motives)... and then it started to turn into physical attraction. There's a long story in there that bears no use repeating, but in the end, I chose to give into the physical attraction and then chose to end my marriage.

    Fast forward some time, finding myself single again, I became friends with someone new. That friendship, turned into an emotional connection, and turned into passionate love. I have everything I need and could possibly want now, and no one else catches my attention. But I have also decided that never again will I connect emotionally with a man other than the love of my life, the man I am committed to.

    Emotional cheating can be very dangerous to a seemingly healthy relationship. As soon as someone outside your relationship becomes an integral part of your adult life, as soon as they start fulfilling a core need, you open yourself up to wanting more, to increasing distance between you and your spouse/loved one, and to closing the gap with someone else.

    At least... that's my experience.

    Exactly this!

    +1

    To answer the OP, I've not cheated on anyone. If I'm in a relationship, I don't even flirt with anyone else. That's me, though.
  • Sparky_1113
    Sparky_1113 Posts: 2,886 Member
    Cheating on a significant other is defined as doing an activity alone that you would not do or confess you did with your other. Therefore if you are simply posting here on these forums and flirting with others but not divulging this or sharing the posts with your partner then you are cheating.
  • JSurita3
    JSurita3 Posts: 10,177 Member
    Cheating on a significant other is defined as doing an activity alone that you would not do or confess you did with your other. Therefore if you are simply posting here on these forums and flirting with others but not divulging this or sharing the posts with your partner then you are cheating.

    WHAT???
  • BasicGreatGuy
    BasicGreatGuy Posts: 857 Member
    edited August 2015
    JSurita3 wrote: »
    Cheating on a significant other is defined as doing an activity alone that you would not do or confess you did with your other. Therefore if you are simply posting here on these forums and flirting with others but not divulging this or sharing the posts with your partner then you are cheating.

    WHAT???

    He is saying, that if one is in a committed relationship, and spending time on here seeking attention ( actively flirting, sharing intimate details and needs with others) in a manner that should be left to one's partner, that is cheating, even if the subject of sex doesn't come up.
  • JSurita3
    JSurita3 Posts: 10,177 Member
    I think that's ludicrous....but whatever...
  • JSurita3
    JSurita3 Posts: 10,177 Member
    Thank you Sunn
  • crssftlv
    crssftlv Posts: 715 Member
    JSurita3 wrote: »
    Cheating on a significant other is defined as doing an activity alone that you would not do or confess you did with your other. Therefore if you are simply posting here on these forums and flirting with others but not divulging this or sharing the posts with your partner then you are cheating.

    WHAT???

    He is saying, that if one is in a committed relationship, and spending time on here seeking attention ( actively flirting, sharing intimate details and needs with others) in a manner that should be left to one's partner, that is cheating, even if the subject of sex doesn't come up.

    I actually agree to a point. If you're not willing to share something with your partner then you probably shouldn't be doing it. Now if you're just having silly fun and are ok with them seeing it then whi cares.
  • BasicGreatGuy
    BasicGreatGuy Posts: 857 Member
    crssftlv wrote: »
    JSurita3 wrote: »
    Cheating on a significant other is defined as doing an activity alone that you would not do or confess you did with your other. Therefore if you are simply posting here on these forums and flirting with others but not divulging this or sharing the posts with your partner then you are cheating.

    WHAT???

    He is saying, that if one is in a committed relationship, and spending time on here seeking attention ( actively flirting, sharing intimate details and needs with others) in a manner that should be left to one's partner, that is cheating, even if the subject of sex doesn't come up.

    I actually agree to a point. If you're not willing to share something with your partner then you probably shouldn't be doing it. Now if you're just having silly fun and are ok with them seeing it then whi cares.
    I agree with that sentiment.

    If I am in a relationship and having a problem, I should be going to my best friend, my confidant, and my lover with my concerns. I believe that seeking out other ladies to confide in about my relationship, instead of talking to the lady I care about and love is wrong. I believe if one is flirting (read: actively seeking attention from other ladies) in person or online with other ladies while in a committed relationship, that is wrong.

    I realize many here may not see anything wrong with engaging in the aforementioned type activities while in a committed relationship. But, as for me, I believe that such activity shows a disrespect for self, the lady I am with, and the whole foundation of what a relationship means, as far as we (me and the lady I am with are concerned). As such, I would never do such a thing.

    Being that I am single, I do flirt on here (on occasion) with some of the single ladies. I would not do that with a lady who was married. I wouldn't want someone to do that to my relationship and I wouldn't think of doing that to others.

    It's not about control. It is simply showing the utmost respect (because you want to) and love for the one you are with.

    If that makes me square around here, so be it. I am an old fashioned guy and not ashamed of believing I need to keep the lady I am with the focal part of my emotional and physical attention.
  • wolfsbayne
    wolfsbayne Posts: 3,116 Member
    crssftlv wrote: »
    JSurita3 wrote: »
    Cheating on a significant other is defined as doing an activity alone that you would not do or confess you did with your other. Therefore if you are simply posting here on these forums and flirting with others but not divulging this or sharing the posts with your partner then you are cheating.

    WHAT???

    He is saying, that if one is in a committed relationship, and spending time on here seeking attention ( actively flirting, sharing intimate details and needs with others) in a manner that should be left to one's partner, that is cheating, even if the subject of sex doesn't come up.

    I actually agree to a point. If you're not willing to share something with your partner then you probably shouldn't be doing it. Now if you're just having silly fun and are ok with them seeing it then whi cares.
    I agree with that sentiment.

    If I am in a relationship and having a problem, I should be going to my best friend, my confidant, and my lover with my concerns. I believe that seeking out other ladies to confide in about my relationship, instead of talking to the lady I care about and love is wrong. I believe if one is flirting (read: actively seeking attention from other ladies) in person or online with other ladies while in a committed relationship, that is wrong.

    I realize many here may not see anything wrong with engaging in the aforementioned type activities while in a committed relationship. But, as for me, I believe that such activity shows a disrespect for self, the lady I am with, and the whole foundation of what a relationship means, as far as we (me and the lady I am with are concerned). As such, I would never do such a thing.

    Being that I am single, I do flirt on here (on occasion) with some of the single ladies. I would not do that with a lady who was married. I wouldn't want someone to do that to my relationship and I wouldn't think of doing that to others.

    It's not about control. It is simply showing the utmost respect (because you want to) and love for the one you are with.

    If that makes me square around here, so be it. I am an old fashioned guy and not ashamed of believing I need to keep the lady I am with the focal part of my emotional and physical attention.

    I agree with everything here.
  • Sparky_1113
    Sparky_1113 Posts: 2,886 Member
    I agree. That's stupid. And controlling.

    I didn’t say there was anything wrong with it, but it's defiantly not stupid or controlling, just fact, don’t be afraid to admit it. I think it is healthy.
  • BasicGreatGuy
    BasicGreatGuy Posts: 857 Member
    leonsinned wrote: »
    crssftlv wrote: »
    JSurita3 wrote: »
    Cheating on a significant other is defined as doing an activity alone that you would not do or confess you did with your other. Therefore if you are simply posting here on these forums and flirting with others but not divulging this or sharing the posts with your partner then you are cheating.

    WHAT???

    He is saying, that if one is in a committed relationship, and spending time on here seeking attention ( actively flirting, sharing intimate details and needs with others) in a manner that should be left to one's partner, that is cheating, even if the subject of sex doesn't come up.

    I actually agree to a point. If you're not willing to share something with your partner then you probably shouldn't be doing it. Now if you're just having silly fun and are ok with them seeing it then whi cares.
    I agree with that sentiment.

    If I am in a relationship and having a problem, I should be going to my best friend, my confidant, and my lover with my concerns. I believe that seeking out other ladies to confide in about my relationship, instead of talking to the lady I care about and love is wrong. I believe if one is flirting (read: actively seeking attention from other ladies) in person or online with other ladies while in a committed relationship, that is wrong.

    I realize many here may not see anything wrong with engaging in the aforementioned type activities while in a committed relationship. But, as for me, I believe that such activity shows a disrespect for self, the lady I am with, and the whole foundation of what a relationship means, as far as we (me and the lady I am with are concerned). As such, I would never do such a thing.

    Being that I am single, I do flirt on here (on occasion) with some of the single ladies. I would not do that with a lady who was married. I wouldn't want someone to do that to my relationship and I wouldn't think of doing that to others.

    It's not about control. It is simply showing the utmost respect (because you want to) and love for the one you are with.

    If that makes me square around here, so be it. I am an old fashioned guy and not ashamed of believing I need to keep the lady I am with the focal part of my emotional and physical attention.


    kd86ys22oh06.jpg

    Instead of posting a cogent response to the subject at hand, you go out of your way to mock me. A grown adult acting in the kind of fashion a bully on the school playground would act. Well done, sir.
  • Timshel_
    Timshel_ Posts: 22,834 Member
    edited August 2015
    Ive admitted it twice now......am i 'owning' it?

    More like advertising, methinks.

  • Timshel_
    Timshel_ Posts: 22,834 Member
    MireyGal76 wrote: »
    leonsinned wrote: »
    sounds like bollshaz to me
    LOL.

    I wish I was that sure of anything in my life.

    I'll have to respectfully disagree with you, nachos_n_beer

    i appreciate that - just that the comment left room for a lot of moving parts, and although it was thought out, it had both of the issues contained in one comment with no room for movement.

    mind if i take a right turn on this thread?

    at what point in history did we relegate sex to monogamous relationships? who is the author of this arrangement and why, oh why is it relevant in an enlightened society?

    perhaps we should fist define "elightened"

    lets start with a society that is not under the yoke of the catholic (or other similarly abusive) church -

    Ahhhh...there it is.

  • KimmyBee
    KimmyBee Posts: 158 Member
    I was tempted once but it took that for me to realise I didn't want to be in the relationship I was in (he was mentally and emotionally abusive to me, I just couldn't see it until I met this other guy)

    So I ended it with the first guy, and two months later found myself in love with the second guy. We are still together.

    Some have claimed I was cheating in the short period after meeting guy 2 and before splitting with guy 1 but I know my conscience was clear. It was the best thing I ever did.
  • JSurita3
    JSurita3 Posts: 10,177 Member
    KimmyBee wrote: »
    I was tempted once but it took that for me to realise I didn't want to be in the relationship I was in (he was mentally and emotionally abusive to me, I just couldn't see it until I met this other guy)

    So I ended it with the first guy, and two months later found myself in love with the second guy. We are still together.

    Some have claimed I was cheating in the short period after meeting guy 2 and before splitting with guy 1 but I know my conscience was clear. It was the best thing I ever did.

    That's the best way to live your life, I think, in such a way as to have a clear conscience. No matter how good you are, somebody somewhere will pick at you and find fault or tell you that you aren't good enough (or conversely, tell you how much of a prude you are). Learning to follow after your own inner voice is a tremendous life skill.

    My own inner voice gets me into trouble sometimes. I don't think I should always follow it. :s
  • longandpink
    longandpink Posts: 77 Member
    Nope. Had it done to me so many times so i know how it feels plus they alway's get found out in the end.
  • BaconBae
    BaconBae Posts: 4,568 Member
    Yes, in my early 20s, as retaliation for their cheating. I confessed and did it again - a few times - with the same person in the short few days. So not sure if that can be rolled into 1 incident.
  • yopeeps025
    yopeeps025 Posts: 8,680 Member
    lislisa123 wrote: »
    JSurita3 wrote: »
    lislisa123 wrote: »
    lislisa123 wrote: »
    if you can't be honest to some strangers how are you ever going to be honest to yourself

    what


    Just saying if you cheat and you can't be honest about it; how are you ever going to be honest? That comment was aimed towards the cheaters who never took the time to figure out what they did was wrong and act like they never cheated.

    If you cheated, own it. That's all I'm saying. And if you can't even own your cheating than maybe you should have never cheated to begin with.

    Maybe the cheaters do own it but still don't feel the need to post it on a public message board.

    Fair enough. I was just going based off the fact the lady who made this post commented that some people were too scared to say they cheated. That is not owning the fact you cheated in my opinion.

    You are so serious on a chit chat forum.
  • yopeeps025
    yopeeps025 Posts: 8,680 Member
    ald783 wrote: »
    I don't think a thread on a weight loss message board is the place anyone is going to have their come to Jesus moment.

    I tend to think a large majority of people have cheated or are capable of cheating in the right circumstances, but I don't know that they're going to post about it. I've never been married so it's not my issue. I cheated on a boyfriend in college but I was like 19 so I file that under the irrelevant/young-and-dumb category, like most things in college.

    Is the saying once a cheater always a cheater?